Translator: Mohand Habchi Reviewer: eric vautier
Hello.
My name is Jérémy Demay.
I’m 34 years old and I have an absolutely fabulous life.
I’m doing a job that interests me.
In fact, several professions that fascinate me.
I earn very well my life.
I have a relationship with my girlfriend who is becoming healthy
as and when months and years.
I have a house that I call a haven of peace.
I have friendships that are more and more authentic
as I grow up. I take more than 2 months of vacation per year.
I have a life that I call absolutely fabulous.
Then, why do I tell you this today?
Because it was not always the case.
When I was eight, my father died.
As I see you right now, today,
my father rode on horseback, his heart stopped, he died.
But, what is beautiful in this is that he died while making his passion.
That’s beautiful.
That’s like this Donald Trump would die tweeting an insult.
It would be beautiful.
(Laughter)
It would be beautiful.
(Laughter)
I grew up in an extremely loving family,
and around 19 – 20 years old, I realized that I wanted to become a humorist.
I arrived here in Montreal at the age of 22.
And for many reasons,
it was extremely difficult to integrate into this medium of humor.
It was difficult to break through, to learn how to do my job
– there are many people who have turned their backs on me –
and long I doubted, long I cried,
I wanted to give up everything.
And one day, in 2009, I did what is called a depression.
And one of the definitions of depression is not to accept what is.
And I had a hard time accepting what was.
My health was really not good at all.
My relationship with my girlfriend was absolutely unhealthy.
I was away from my family and friends.
I had a stalled career that was not going anywhere.
I had trouble getting a visa.
And above all, I had this unexpressed pain
of a father whom I had seen die many years before.
And when you have depression, in general, in my opinion, you have two choices:
you start taking antidepressants
and you fall into a kind of chemical vicious circle
which just hides the problem eventually.
It’s a bit like when you ask a child, “Go and tidy up your room,”
and instead of putting it away, he puts everything under his bed,
and he says, “I have tidied up. “
“No, you covered the problem, you did not solve it. “
That’s how I see antidepressants.
And besides, I inquired with several specialists,
who told me that only 10% of people really need antidepressants.
The other 90%, so people in my case,
can do without it.
Yes, it will be much longer, much more dangerous,
but there is a way to do it.
And that was my choice when I had my depression.
And when I tell you a depression, sometimes my girlfriend comes home,
she found me dressed in her bed, my shoes on my feet.
When you do not even have the courage to take off your shoes, you’re hurting.
Or, you have a big fat belly. But that’s another problem.
(Laughter)
I decided to be reborn.
I asked for life, I said, “Give me everything you can.
Show me everything I can do to get better. “
And I tried everything:
I read dozens of books, I followed therapies,
I watched lectures, I did homeopathy,
acupuncture, hypnotherapy.
I did everything I could, everything I was given, I went.
And the more I did that,
the more I discovered different tools, the better my life.
The more I changed internally, the easier my outdoor life became.
And I continued doing this for several years.
And not long ago, the TED organization contacted me,
and said, “Come talk, just about 15 minutes. “
I thought, “I have to talk about one thing. “
What is the most important thing for me, who helped me the most?
And the answer lies in the question, “What is happiness? “
This is the question everyone is asking
especially since the last few years, it’s almost become a classic.
And each person has his definition of happiness.
And I will tell you my definition of happiness,
it is to be good with oneself, it is to be in peace, it is to be in peace.
That’s what I think is happiness. It is a state of constant calm.
The question is, how do we get there? It’s a very good question, thank you.
(Laughter)
Every human being looks like this.
Thank you for my talents as a graphic designer.
(Laughter)
Every human being in my opinion looks like this.
What are the crosses?
It’s programming that we have taken in our life,
often between 0 and 7 years old.
All these things are anchored in us,
have been rooted in us since we were little,
things we have experienced.
It may be things taken from our parents, traumas,
fears, mourning, shame, abandonment, a father who beat you,
a mother who raped you.
No matter what it is, we all have an experience,
and we all have things anchored in us
who arrived, as I said, between 0 and 7 years,
What makes, when we grow up
and that there are different kinds of situations,
we do not react according to the situation, we react according to our past,
of our mental programming.
And so, the idea of happiness, to be at peace,
it is to eventually arrive at that, to tend towards that.
One mouths and smiles because he is much happier.
And the question is: how to get there?
That’s a very good question,
because, what I think, in life – I read one day a wonderful phrase,
it’s in life, we do not attract what we want,
in life, we attract what we are.
And I repeat it because it’s important.
We do not attract what we want, we attract what we are.
You know, often,
we are like a kind of energy ball,
we all live with energy, and it is composed of two things:
what we think, the conscious, and what we feel, the unconscious,
so the programming we put in our body.
And often, it is the unconscious that wins.
If in life, you say, “I want money”
– “Ask, you will receive” –
“I want to become a millionaire. “
That’s what you think consciously. But subconsciously, what are you saying,
it is: “Money has separated my parents.
Money makes that there are countries that are at war.
Money makes politicians become crooked
and do everything to absolutely win. “
So, a bad image, subconsciously,
makes your energy vibrate between these two things.
And often, the unconscious takes over the conscious.
So all your life, you’re going to have trouble,
especially in the shortage,
you will never be able to escape
simply, because you have a programming in you similar to that.
So the question: how is it possible to extend crosses to more crosses?
How to tend to a restless life, a suffering life,
to a simpler, freer life?
I discovered four ways, there are others,
but it is the means that I personally experienced.
The first one that helped me a lot was yoga.
I do not know if there are any who make it. Is there any? Yes.
The definition of yoga,
it is to unite the body and the spirit so that they become one.
I tried yoga.
My definition is to impose on your body improbable positions,
that your mind does not want to do anything in life. (Laughter)
There are positions, it’s anything.
Sometimes, I do positons,
even my cat, he looks at me: “Even me, I would not do that.
No, no, no, “and he licks his ass.
(Laughter)
I tried yoga and it’s absolutely wonderful,
I recommend it. It allows us to be present in what we do
and to feel our body.
Besides, if there are some who go to yoga,
I do it in the evening before going to bed,
you sleep much more serenely and calmly.
Second tool that helped me uproot my programming,
it’s meditation.
Raise your hand when meditating. I know there is always someone.
Ok, so six people. Perfect.
Raise your hand when people wash.
(Laughter)
You did not raise your hand.
(Laughter)
Everyone is washing.
The question I’m asking you is why? You will tell me :
“To remove dirt from my body. “
And also to relax, because the hot water, it relaxes.
That’s exactly why we meditate.
Not long ago, I went to a meditation center
in Montebello, which is called Vipassana,
where they teach us a kind of meditation,
which makes that: one, one removes the impurities
the programming of our body, really, meditating, literally,
and two, you learn to control your mind.
Because that’s the biggest evil of the 21st century.
And I quote a sentence, I do not know who,
who said that the biggest evil of this century,
is that people are not able to stay alone with themselves
To do nothing.
“Are you able to stay alone doing nothing?
– I’m at home, all alone.
– What are you doing ? – Well, I read, I watch a series,
I call my friends, I listen to music.
– Try to sit 5 minutes, 10 minutes,
close your eyes, stay with you. “
The majority is not able to do it.
After 5 minutes, your mind will tell you:
“Do something else. Send an email, watch a series … »
We always feel like doing things to fill our lives.
And to learn to become master of her spirit, she is there, the key.
Because most people are slaves of their minds.
We suffer what our mind tells us to do,
whereas it should be the opposite.
Meditation was something for me –
and besides, I regularly practice this meditation,
she calms me, she calms me.
They asked a master named Buddha
– that you know –
“What did meditation bring you? “
He said, “Nothing, though, took away the stress,
it took away the fear of dying, it took away my anxiety,
it took away the fear of the future. “
It’s all things [that] we’re all scared of,
by which we are all concerned.
I highly recommend meditation.
The third tool that helped me is nonviolent communication,
It’s a tool that helps me right now in my life.
There is an extraordinary book on it:
Marshall Rosenberg’s “nonviolent communication”, which I recommend,
and basically, to popularize his teaching,
it teaches us to connect with ourselves, our own emotions.
You see, I grew up with a loving family,
but who had never learned to express his emotions.
So we never really said things.
And since a short time, I learn to communicate with my emotions.
There were five emotions in my head at the beginning.
There was sadness, anger, joy, etc.
There are more than 80 emotions in life.
And seeing that, I learned to connect with me.
And what Marshall Rosenberg teaches us,
it is that behind each emotion lies an unmet need.
Behind every emotion, there is an unmet need.
Recently, a friend came to me and said, “I’m jealous
because I see my boyfriend who does not stop talking to girls.
It makes me jealous. “
Behind every emotion there is a need,
I said to myself, “I will find his need. “
“Would you like to be reassured?
If your friend said to you, “My love, you’re the only one I love,
I will not sleep with other girls. I love you “, would you feel better?”
She said to me, “Yes. “
Behind her jealousy, she wanted to be reassured.
From the moment the need is satisfied,
the negative emotion disappears.
It’s that simple.
So, I encourage you to connect with yourselves,
and above all, to read this book.
Fourth tool, and surely the tool that helped me
in recent years, it’s hypnosis.
When I talk about hypnosis, people do: “Hypnosis, like Messmer?
“At three you become a guinea pig and you sing Eminem in Hebrew.” “
No that’s not it. (Laughs) That’s the show side.
You can learn about hypnosis, it’s scientific.
Many doctors say it helped thousands of people.
I mean, there are women giving birth under hypnosis.
My uncle who smoked for 20 years two packs of cigarettes a day
quit smoking thanks to hypnosis.
Hypnosis, to popularize a little,
it’s as if our body, our brain, our unconscious
was like a computer hard drive and hypnosis an antivirus.
As I imagine you already know, the body has powers of self-healing.
When you cut yourself, very quickly, it heals.
Same with respect to these wounds.
The body has powers to self-heal that, and it takes means like hypnosis.
And in my opinion, hypnosis is one of the strongest ways
and most importantly, the fastest to dig up all that.
Overall, that’s what I want to encourage people to do.
It is to heal itself.
I realized that the more I healed myself inside,
the more I removed each cross and the more my life became simple.
That’s how I see things.
I have long forced in life.
I thought we had to force to have more money,
to have more celebrity in my case, more Facebook fans,
to run after the projects, after the people.
And then the day I understood that we attract what we are,
I realized that the more I’m going to clean myself, the more things will happen freely.
And in my life, I experience it, I do not have to force anymore. I do not force anymore.
I told you that my life is fabulous, it is, but it is simple.
Before, I wanted to run a sprint,
today I am on the spot and things happen on their own,
simply because I removed some of those things.
I think life is like a river.
It’s weird like analogy, but we’re all like a river,
and all these problems,
all the mental programming we’ve done,
are rocks that are put across the river.
And at one point, there are so many that it’s a dam,
and the water can not pass.
So the water tries to force to pass over, next.
We want to force, often in our life.
But I saw that by removing that,
that by removing these wounds, these programs,
that by deprogramming, I removed the rocks one by one
and the water flowed more and more simply.
That’s what I suggest to everyone to be happy.
It is to heal ourselves so that life can flow simply.
Thank you very much.
(Applause)
Hello.
My name is Jérémy Demay.
I’m 34 years old and I have an absolutely fabulous life.
I’m doing a job that interests me.
In fact, several professions that fascinate me.
I earn very well my life.
I have a relationship with my girlfriend who is becoming healthy
as and when months and years.
I have a house that I call a haven of peace.
I have friendships that are more and more authentic
as I grow up. I take more than 2 months of vacation per year.
I have a life that I call absolutely fabulous.
Then, why do I tell you this today?
Because it was not always the case.
When I was eight, my father died.
As I see you right now, today,
my father rode on horseback, his heart stopped, he died.
But, what is beautiful in this is that he died while making his passion.
That’s beautiful.
That’s like this Donald Trump would die tweeting an insult.
It would be beautiful.
(Laughter)
It would be beautiful.
(Laughter)
I grew up in an extremely loving family,
and around 19 – 20 years old, I realized that I wanted to become a humorist.
I arrived here in Montreal at the age of 22.
And for many reasons,
it was extremely difficult to integrate into this medium of humor.
It was difficult to break through, to learn how to do my job
– there are many people who have turned their backs on me –
and long I doubted, long I cried,
I wanted to give up everything.
And one day, in 2009, I did what is called a depression.
And one of the definitions of depression is not to accept what is.
And I had a hard time accepting what was.
My health was really not good at all.
My relationship with my girlfriend was absolutely unhealthy.
I was away from my family and friends.
I had a stalled career that was not going anywhere.
I had trouble getting a visa.
And above all, I had this unexpressed pain
of a father whom I had seen die many years before.
And when you have depression, in general, in my opinion, you have two choices:
you start taking antidepressants
and you fall into a kind of chemical vicious circle
which just hides the problem eventually.
It’s a bit like when you ask a child, “Go and tidy up your room,”
and instead of putting it away, he puts everything under his bed,
and he says, “I have tidied up. “
“No, you covered the problem, you did not solve it. “
That’s how I see antidepressants.
And besides, I inquired with several specialists,
who told me that only 10% of people really need antidepressants.
The other 90%, so people in my case,
can do without it.
Yes, it will be much longer, much more dangerous,
but there is a way to do it.
And that was my choice when I had my depression.
And when I tell you a depression, sometimes my girlfriend comes home,
she found me dressed in her bed, my shoes on my feet.
When you do not even have the courage to take off your shoes, you’re hurting.
Or, you have a big fat belly. But that’s another problem.
(Laughter)
I decided to be reborn.
I asked for life, I said, “Give me everything you can.
Show me everything I can do to get better. “
And I tried everything:
I read dozens of books, I followed therapies,
I watched lectures, I did homeopathy,
acupuncture, hypnotherapy.
I did everything I could, everything I was given, I went.
And the more I did that,
the more I discovered different tools, the better my life.
The more I changed internally, the easier my outdoor life became.
And I continued doing this for several years.
And not long ago, the TED organization contacted me,
and said, “Come talk, just about 15 minutes. “
I thought, “I have to talk about one thing. “
What is the most important thing for me, who helped me the most?
And the answer lies in the question, “What is happiness? “
This is the question everyone is asking
especially since the last few years, it’s almost become a classic.
And each person has his definition of happiness.
And I will tell you my definition of happiness,
it is to be good with oneself, it is to be in peace, it is to be in peace.
That’s what I think is happiness. It is a state of constant calm.
The question is, how do we get there? It’s a very good question, thank you.
(Laughter)
Every human being looks like this.
Thank you for my talents as a graphic designer.
(Laughter)
Every human being in my opinion looks like this.
What are the crosses?
It’s programming that we have taken in our life,
often between 0 and 7 years old.
All these things are anchored in us,
have been rooted in us since we were little,
things we have experienced.
It may be things taken from our parents, traumas,
fears, mourning, shame, abandonment, a father who beat you,
a mother who raped you.
No matter what it is, we all have an experience,
and we all have things anchored in us
who arrived, as I said, between 0 and 7 years,
What makes, when we grow up
and that there are different kinds of situations,
we do not react according to the situation, we react according to our past,
of our mental programming.
And so, the idea of happiness, to be at peace,
it is to eventually arrive at that, to tend towards that.
One mouths and smiles because he is much happier.
And the question is: how to get there?
That’s a very good question,
because, what I think, in life – I read one day a wonderful phrase,
it’s in life, we do not attract what we want,
in life, we attract what we are.
And I repeat it because it’s important.
We do not attract what we want, we attract what we are.
You know, often,
we are like a kind of energy ball,
we all live with energy, and it is composed of two things:
what we think, the conscious, and what we feel, the unconscious,
so the programming we put in our body.
And often, it is the unconscious that wins.
If in life, you say, “I want money”
– “Ask, you will receive” –
“I want to become a millionaire. “
That’s what you think consciously. But subconsciously, what are you saying,
it is: “Money has separated my parents.
Money makes that there are countries that are at war.
Money makes politicians become crooked
and do everything to absolutely win. “
So, a bad image, subconsciously,
makes your energy vibrate between these two things.
And often, the unconscious takes over the conscious.
So all your life, you’re going to have trouble,
especially in the shortage,
you will never be able to escape
simply, because you have a programming in you similar to that.
So the question: how is it possible to extend crosses to more crosses?
How to tend to a restless life, a suffering life,
to a simpler, freer life?
I discovered four ways, there are others,
but it is the means that I personally experienced.
The first one that helped me a lot was yoga.
I do not know if there are any who make it. Is there any? Yes.
The definition of yoga,
it is to unite the body and the spirit so that they become one.
I tried yoga.
My definition is to impose on your body improbable positions,
that your mind does not want to do anything in life. (Laughter)
There are positions, it’s anything.
Sometimes, I do positons,
even my cat, he looks at me: “Even me, I would not do that.
No, no, no, “and he licks his ass.
(Laughter)
I tried yoga and it’s absolutely wonderful,
I recommend it. It allows us to be present in what we do
and to feel our body.
Besides, if there are some who go to yoga,
I do it in the evening before going to bed,
you sleep much more serenely and calmly.
Second tool that helped me uproot my programming,
it’s meditation.
Raise your hand when meditating. I know there is always someone.
Ok, so six people. Perfect.
Raise your hand when people wash.
(Laughter)
You did not raise your hand.
(Laughter)
Everyone is washing.
The question I’m asking you is why? You will tell me :
“To remove dirt from my body. “
And also to relax, because the hot water, it relaxes.
That’s exactly why we meditate.
Not long ago, I went to a meditation center
in Montebello, which is called Vipassana,
where they teach us a kind of meditation,
which makes that: one, one removes the impurities
the programming of our body, really, meditating, literally,
and two, you learn to control your mind.
Because that’s the biggest evil of the 21st century.
And I quote a sentence, I do not know who,
who said that the biggest evil of this century,
is that people are not able to stay alone with themselves
To do nothing.
“Are you able to stay alone doing nothing?
– I’m at home, all alone.
– What are you doing ? – Well, I read, I watch a series,
I call my friends, I listen to music.
– Try to sit 5 minutes, 10 minutes,
close your eyes, stay with you. “
The majority is not able to do it.
After 5 minutes, your mind will tell you:
“Do something else. Send an email, watch a series … »
We always feel like doing things to fill our lives.
And to learn to become master of her spirit, she is there, the key.
Because most people are slaves of their minds.
We suffer what our mind tells us to do,
whereas it should be the opposite.
Meditation was something for me –
and besides, I regularly practice this meditation,
she calms me, she calms me.
They asked a master named Buddha
– that you know –
“What did meditation bring you? “
He said, “Nothing, though, took away the stress,
it took away the fear of dying, it took away my anxiety,
it took away the fear of the future. “
It’s all things [that] we’re all scared of,
by which we are all concerned.
I highly recommend meditation.
The third tool that helped me is nonviolent communication,
It’s a tool that helps me right now in my life.
There is an extraordinary book on it:
Marshall Rosenberg’s “nonviolent communication”, which I recommend,
and basically, to popularize his teaching,
it teaches us to connect with ourselves, our own emotions.
You see, I grew up with a loving family,
but who had never learned to express his emotions.
So we never really said things.
And since a short time, I learn to communicate with my emotions.
There were five emotions in my head at the beginning.
There was sadness, anger, joy, etc.
There are more than 80 emotions in life.
And seeing that, I learned to connect with me.
And what Marshall Rosenberg teaches us,
it is that behind each emotion lies an unmet need.
Behind every emotion, there is an unmet need.
Recently, a friend came to me and said, “I’m jealous
because I see my boyfriend who does not stop talking to girls.
It makes me jealous. “
Behind every emotion there is a need,
I said to myself, “I will find his need. “
“Would you like to be reassured?
If your friend said to you, “My love, you’re the only one I love,
I will not sleep with other girls. I love you “, would you feel better?”
She said to me, “Yes. “
Behind her jealousy, she wanted to be reassured.
From the moment the need is satisfied,
the negative emotion disappears.
It’s that simple.
So, I encourage you to connect with yourselves,
and above all, to read this book.
Fourth tool, and surely the tool that helped me
in recent years, it’s hypnosis.
When I talk about hypnosis, people do: “Hypnosis, like Messmer?
“At three you become a guinea pig and you sing Eminem in Hebrew.” “
No that’s not it. (Laughs) That’s the show side.
You can learn about hypnosis, it’s scientific.
Many doctors say it helped thousands of people.
I mean, there are women giving birth under hypnosis.
My uncle who smoked for 20 years two packs of cigarettes a day
quit smoking thanks to hypnosis.
Hypnosis, to popularize a little,
it’s as if our body, our brain, our unconscious
was like a computer hard drive and hypnosis an antivirus.
As I imagine you already know, the body has powers of self-healing.
When you cut yourself, very quickly, it heals.
Same with respect to these wounds.
The body has powers to self-heal that, and it takes means like hypnosis.
And in my opinion, hypnosis is one of the strongest ways
and most importantly, the fastest to dig up all that.
Overall, that’s what I want to encourage people to do.
It is to heal itself.
I realized that the more I healed myself inside,
the more I removed each cross and the more my life became simple.
That’s how I see things.
I have long forced in life.
I thought we had to force to have more money,
to have more celebrity in my case, more Facebook fans,
to run after the projects, after the people.
And then the day I understood that we attract what we are,
I realized that the more I’m going to clean myself, the more things will happen freely.
And in my life, I experience it, I do not have to force anymore. I do not force anymore.
I told you that my life is fabulous, it is, but it is simple.
Before, I wanted to run a sprint,
today I am on the spot and things happen on their own,
simply because I removed some of those things.
I think life is like a river.
It’s weird like analogy, but we’re all like a river,
and all these problems,
all the mental programming we’ve done,
are rocks that are put across the river.
And at one point, there are so many that it’s a dam,
and the water can not pass.
So the water tries to force to pass over, next.
We want to force, often in our life.
But I saw that by removing that,
that by removing these wounds, these programs,
that by deprogramming, I removed the rocks one by one
and the water flowed more and more simply.
That’s what I suggest to everyone to be happy.
It is to heal ourselves so that life can flow simply.
Thank you very much.
(Applause)
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