person what comes to mind is it someone
who is successful someone who has a lot
of achievements or maybe somebody who’s
dressed impeccably nice well there’s a
group of people that probably didn’t
cross your minds they don’t have a lot
of achievements and they’re not very
successful at all and they definitely
not dressed very nicely most of the time
and that’s little children so I see this
little five-year-old girl who’s running
around with a sweater tied around her
neck like it’s a cape and she tells me
I’m a superhero and I asked her what
what makes you a superhero and she looks
to me like it was the dumbest question
she’s ever heard she’s like nothing I
just am one this little girl was a
hundred percent confident in her she was
she didn’t need any external validation
she need anybody to endorse her didn’t
need a badge or certificate in fact she
didn’t care what anybody thought of her
she was confident and I thought point I
was like man I want to be like her and
then I thought you know what I used to
be like this little girl and so did you
we all did we all used to be a hundred
percent confident in who we were but
then we started to lose it and you know
by the time I was 16 I know only lost
that cape I lost all my confidence and I
felt like I was always so worried about
what everybody was thinking of me I was
afraid to do things because I didn’t
want to fail and I was scared of what
you know people find out that I’m just
not good enough so why did that happen
whether that happened to me to you and
to so many of the young people that I
you know as we growing up we encounter a
lot of crappy things right his rejection
embarrassment we got made fun off people
tell us no we can’t we get laughed at
for no other reason just because we’re
different we get judged just because we
have a different opinion or maybe
someone yelled at us because they had a
bad day and it wasn’t like it was
anything that we did wrong or anything
that wasn’t bad about us but somehow
that was what we started thinking that
there was something bad about us what
happens is what I call the misguided
blame you see when our brain encounters
uncertainty doesn’t know what what’s
happening doesn’t know how to explain it
you know maybe someone’s laughing at us
and we don’t know why someone over there
is giving us a weird look and I don’t
know why and so our brain wants to find
an answer this is what it does is I
point his finger at us and it says I
don’t know what’s going on but this is
totally your fault
and so were you standing there like what
me and we don’t know how to explain it
and so we think yeah maybe it is me
maybe there is something wrong with me
and so we start feeling uncertain and we
unsure and then our confidence just
drops and then we start looking to
outside for validation to tell us that
you know maybe we’re not that bad we
look at what others are doing and we
think maybe I should talk like them
maybe I should dress like them and act
like them and then we move further from
who we actually are but no matter how
hard we try to change ourselves or who
we become we still worry we continue to
worry about what others are gonna think
about us and we think am I gonna be
judged and then the biggest question is
what if everybody can see all the things
now I know that you know this story is a
little bit bleak but there with me it
gets better because today I found my
Cape again and I want to share with all
of you something that you can do to
start feeling more confident in
yourselves again it is gonna be hard
work because we know that being
superheroes is not easy right so it’s
gonna take a bit of effort from you guys
and the reason is that you know in our
society there’s a lot of voices that are
already telling us no it tells you can’t
tell us you’re not good enough maybe it
was your parents maybe your teachers
maybe was your peers
maybe someone posts a nasty comment
about you on Instagram or maybe a friend
tagged a really bad photo of your
Facebook right these things happen and
they start to seemingly attack us all
the time telling us that we’re not that
good but there is one voice that you can
change and if you’re like most people
this voice is the loudest one of all as
well and that is your voice right I
shouldn’t have said that
I shouldn’t have done that oh you know
when I introduced myself I stuttered and
I’m such an idiot
I suck I messed up I’m a loser and that
is our own voice talking to us every
single day and you know we talk to
ourselves more than anybody else talks
to us and in the society where there’s
already so many voices telling us no why
would we still talk to ourselves that
way so we got to root for ourselves we
got to stick up for us and change that
one voice how we talk to ourselves so I
want you guys all to do this exercise
with me I’m changing our voice and
making it more kind and supportive
some of you guys look scared it’s okay
let’s go sit up straight straight into
and for most of you might notice that
your neck is really stiff and that you
probably haven’t breathed all day now I
want you to smile and now think of one
good moment from your day where you felt
good about yourself today they’re there
the good moments are there today and I
see a lot of blank faces so don’t worry
I’ve got you covered
let me give you a few examples so you
know kick-start your thinking process
because when we talk about feeling good
moments we all kind of like what does
that mean right because we’re so used to
thinking of all the things that are
wrong with us
we hardly ever think of the stuff that
is good so maybe some examples are maybe
you woke up this morning you know the
Sun was shining brightly and he is felt
good maybe you made a really funny joke
and you thought you were so witty and
clever maybe you figured out something
that you were stuck on for ages you felt
smart or maybe it was you know you won’t
past your reflection you slow yourself
and you’re like man I look good so
whatever it was a moment in your day
where you felt good okay so now that I
gave you some examples they try it again
so I’ll sit up straight you know stretch
out back out and take a deep breath in
and then slowly out doesn’t that already
feel good and then we smile and then we
think of our good moment and then the
next step is I want you to do is to let
yourself feel that good moment just a
little bit longer now what does that
mean so for example let’s take mine
right so I was like okay I woke up this
morning and the Sun was coming to my
window and I was like
this is awesome and then very quickly
ice all the time and I was like oh crap
is so late I gotta go I gotta hurry up
and then I started thinking man I still
got so much stuff to do and I haven’t
even practiced my tech-talk properly and
then I’m thinking oh I need to hurry up
and you get ready all these thoughts so
you can see very quickly that might feel
good moment started going down and I was
nervous I was stressed out and then I
was feeling guilty as well so that’s why
I say try to let yourself feel there
stay there a little bit longer when
you’re feeling good okay so now you all
know the drill
let’s do this one final time okay so
when you all to sit up straight again
you know the process take a deep breath
in and then slowly out and then you
smile and then we think of a good moment
for the day and then we let ourselves
feel good just a little bit longer and
that’s it does not feel good already and
this is just one simple exercise that
you can do every day and if you do this
once a day I promise you things are
gonna change
you’re gonna stop finding that you
noticed these grit moments a lot more
you catch them you start thinking hey
you know I was kind I was caring that
was nice today I was smart I was funny
I’m a good person and then the next
thing that happens is that you start to
feel good for longer you know that boys
that immediately jumps in to dismiss you
the talks about all the stress and
anxiety remind you all the things that
you don’t want to hear that point stays
away for longer and then it just becomes
more natural to do this exercise and it
doesn’t even become an exercise anymore
it just happens and we just naturally
see the good stuff in us and then the
most amazing change happens is that our
voice that’s talking to us all the time
it’s now kinder more supportive and more
encouraging instead of it telling us
that we’re not good enough that we can’t
do this or that we’re gonna fail it’s
not rooting for us and it says go on you
can do it you’re a good person you’re
trusting yourself just one simple
exercise and it starts with you and you
can start today so to all of you who are
sitting out here who may be worried
about what others thinking of you and
who are afraid to fully be yourself give this a try and go put your capes back on