right how many have heard of a golden
rule okay so the golden rule basically
says do unto others as you would have
them do unto yourself right it works on
two the basic principle that we all want
to be treated the same but sometimes
that doesn’t really work out very well
right it doesn’t take into consideration
how we identify or our culture right
when I was in college I didn’t even
realize how important it was to no
identifications or the importance of
cultural identity I just thought I am
Who I am and you are who you are and
that’s cool but it wasn’t that way when
I was in college I got called the dark
spot in the snow
people used to insult me all the time I
went to a predominantly white
institution and sometimes it felt like
an intentionally white institution and a
lot of the things that people would say
that they found funny
I found racist and not the game that the
guys would spit to me and my
girlfriend’s leme but it was also sexist
so we really struggled there was a huge
divide between the communities and the
culture and as a first gen college
student so someone who had no parents or
family who had gone to college before I
didn’t know how to communicate those
issues right I really struggled with
telling people don’t treat me like that
that’s not okay
you’re being disrespectful and I’m not
okay with you using that type of
language it was really hard and when I
tried
sometimes the administration and the
people that I would talk to said it’s a
part of life that’s bullying you’re just
being too sensitive grow some tougher
skin but that’s not true that’s the
wrong message to send it’s an alternate
effect so what you need to understand is
that you have the right to stand up for
yourself and you have the right to
embrace all that you are by owning your
humanity
now what does that mean it means
self-love and giving more love and
having a positive impact in society by
embracing others you may not always
understand how another person identifies
but that’s why it’s important
able to check yourself and communicate
with others effectively so how do we do
that
author HP new quest says that the brain
and it’s full develop mental capacity
weighing nearly three pounds give us
gives us an amazing gift to critically
think now what does that mean it means
that we have the right and the ability
to process things to be really
intentional about how we take
information in and how we give
information out then UCLA professor
Matthew Lieberman in his book social how
humans are how humans are wired to
connect states that the lifelong passion
of humans is connection so if we put
those together we’re thinking critically
and then we want to connect with people
so we should think critically about how
to connect with people in a positive way
how to support one another and engage
one another and give more love to one
another and that’s owning your humanity
right it’s uplifting each other
uplifting your next person next to you
you may not know the person next to you
right so let’s see your left maybe
that’s your friend
let’s see your right maybe that’s your
classmate but do you know how they fully
identify holistically you may not know
their gender right so whether or not
they’re feminine masculine source or
trans you may not know their sexual
orientation you may not know their
disability or their earth they’re
able-bodied because now all identities
are visible right so I’ve had the
privilege to be the student the teacher
and the administrator and you don’t see
those identities are me a lot of times
people mislabeled me all the time and
they stereotype me
and what’s a stereotype it’s when we
make assumptions and we do it all the
time right you’re walking in class
you’re in the hallway and maybe you see
a girl with a brand-name bag and you
think she got money look at her look at
that brand-name bag or you see the
student with the always raising his hand
and he always has the A’s
you think oh my god he must be such a
nerd or the teacher with the accent must
be an emigrant right we think those
things but they’re so wrong we’re always
making assumptions and we need to check
how we think about people we don’t know
anything about these people maybe the
girl with the brand-name bag that could
have been a gift maybe she acts
he works three jobs just to make it to
high school and is trying really hard to
get to college and you know why that’s a
possibility because that was me when I
was in high school I got my first Coach
bag and it’s a coach bag that I still
carry to this day and I worked three
jobs I came from a lower socioeconomic
status I were I lived in the projects
and I tried really hard to make it to
college college was my pathway out and
so the only way I was gonna do that was
by working really hard so I traveled
five hours every day to go to school and
back round-trip and then I also worked
three jobs it’s really important you
have to find your way and make your way
and not let anybody else stereotype you
but they do because people used to
always think oh you got money and I
didn’t have no money I didn’t even have
any savings to go to college so it’s
really important that you always find
the way it’s a not stereotype sometimes
when we stereotype we stereotype threat
stereotype threatening is basically when
you have someone live up to the
stereotype so all the times that you
continue to tell somebody negative
images they start to live up to that
height so for example you give negative
messages daily right so social
psychologist Claude Steele says that
that’s a microaggression
microaggressions are the daily negative
messages that we give to each other so
sometimes it’s in humor sometimes people
use jokes and they’re like oh can I
touch your hair I want to touch your
hair how’s that look or you look really
cute today and there’s all types of hate
in those messages right you wondering
like oh you something’s wrong with you
there’s all types of hate but it’s not
direct it’s not upfront it’s all
subliminal and indirect those are
microaggressions and a lot of times they
do add up and the person who’s receiving
all of that feel some type of way
especially when it comes to language
identification the way we carry
ourselves so we need to be able to
bridge the gap and ask questions and
check ourselves dr. Laura Brown a would
say we would do that with insa cultural
communication now that sounds like a
super spiffy theory but it’s really
simple it’s basically just finding ways
to communicate between the cultures and
how you do that is really simple you see
a person you don’t necessarily know how
they
identify you’re confused about something
so you sincerely ask
there is no dumb question I’m sure you
hear that all the time in school there’s
no dumb question you don’t understand
something have a conversation you want
to know something more about something
just do it intercultural communication
happens all the time but we need to be
intentional about it right
we need to critically think like new
quiz says so that we can build that
connection the way Lieberman says and
that’s really important you probably do
it with your parents all the time think
about it the language you use this idea
of varying English it’s true the things
that you say now imma get it your
parents didn’t use lit they use dope or
they used cool it’s so different you use
Facebook now as a tools to connect they
didn’t have that they didn’t even have
cell phones most of them they had
handsets connected to the walls y’all
looking at me like I don’t know what
that is because there’s a difference in
generation and it’s really important
that you understand the difference and
you build those connections with
everybody it’s really important to check
your assumptions and build the bridges
within the cultures you also need to
make sure that you’re not micro
aggressing which we do all the time and
it’s hard right owning your humanity is
not always so simple
especially when the nation is telling
you that certain lives don’t matter when
global warming is taking away our
resources when terrorism is on the rise
now it’s more complex than ever to try
to stay positive but the reality is is
that you need to be able to do that when
I was in college it would have been easy
to retaliate I grew up in the hood we
could have fought but this the thing I
didn’t want to lose my scholarship right
I had an 80% scholarship to go to
college I didn’t want to lose that that
was more important to me
leaving the hood was more important to
me so that I could make it out there and
that’s what I’m saying you need to make
sure that you prioritize what’s going to
be your story what’s gonna be the way
that you connect with the world how are
you gonna fulfill your passions and how
are you gonna make a positive impact
with each other what’s gonna be your
footprint not just your carbon footprint
but the footprint that you leave when
you think about your next steps some of
you talked about going to college
some of you are thinking about going
into the work field and that’s great but
the only way you can do that is making
sure that you build those connections
because it’s so important
to have a community of people behind you
don’t forget about the person next to
you don’t forget about the family that
you have don’t forget about the people
that are gonna be coming up behind you
that’s so important so instead of
treating people how you think they
should be treated make sure that you ask
the question how do you like to be
called what’s the way I can best respect
you how do you like to be appreciated
because that matters and every time that
somebody mistreats you think about that
we don’t always walk in the same
footsteps right we don’t always wear
each other’s shoes and if you ever
wonder if that’s true sometimes you
drive up six ninety least and west
people have the signs out there
sometimes they don’t have shoes so
always let that be a reminder we don’t
walk in each other’s shoes because
sometimes we don’t even have the shoes
to share each other’s footprints make
sure that you’re always building
community and when you don’t know how to
do that just ask the question that’s the
Platinum rule forget the golden rule
have a good day everyone thank you [Applause]