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Platinum Rule | Valeria Martinez, MSE | TEDxYouth@ClintonSquare

so you’ve all heard of the Golden Rule

right how many have heard of a golden

rule okay so the golden rule basically

says do unto others as you would have

them do unto yourself right it works on

two the basic principle that we all want

to be treated the same but sometimes

that doesn’t really work out very well

right it doesn’t take into consideration

how we identify or our culture right

when I was in college I didn’t even

realize how important it was to no

identifications or the importance of

cultural identity I just thought I am

Who I am and you are who you are and

that’s cool but it wasn’t that way when

I was in college I got called the dark

spot in the snow

people used to insult me all the time I

went to a predominantly white

institution and sometimes it felt like

an intentionally white institution and a

lot of the things that people would say

that they found funny

I found racist and not the game that the

guys would spit to me and my

girlfriend’s leme but it was also sexist

so we really struggled there was a huge

divide between the communities and the

culture and as a first gen college

student so someone who had no parents or

family who had gone to college before I

didn’t know how to communicate those

issues right I really struggled with

telling people don’t treat me like that

that’s not okay

you’re being disrespectful and I’m not

okay with you using that type of

language it was really hard and when I


sometimes the administration and the

people that I would talk to said it’s a

part of life that’s bullying you’re just

being too sensitive grow some tougher

skin but that’s not true that’s the

wrong message to send it’s an alternate

effect so what you need to understand is

that you have the right to stand up for

yourself and you have the right to

embrace all that you are by owning your


now what does that mean it means

self-love and giving more love and

having a positive impact in society by

embracing others you may not always

understand how another person identifies

but that’s why it’s important

able to check yourself and communicate

with others effectively so how do we do


author HP new quest says that the brain

and it’s full develop mental capacity

weighing nearly three pounds give us

gives us an amazing gift to critically

think now what does that mean it means

that we have the right and the ability

to process things to be really

intentional about how we take

information in and how we give

information out then UCLA professor

Matthew Lieberman in his book social how

humans are how humans are wired to

connect states that the lifelong passion

of humans is connection so if we put

those together we’re thinking critically

and then we want to connect with people

so we should think critically about how

to connect with people in a positive way

how to support one another and engage

one another and give more love to one

another and that’s owning your humanity

right it’s uplifting each other

uplifting your next person next to you

you may not know the person next to you

right so let’s see your left maybe

that’s your friend

let’s see your right maybe that’s your

classmate but do you know how they fully

identify holistically you may not know

their gender right so whether or not

they’re feminine masculine source or

trans you may not know their sexual

orientation you may not know their

disability or their earth they’re

able-bodied because now all identities

are visible right so I’ve had the

privilege to be the student the teacher

and the administrator and you don’t see

those identities are me a lot of times

people mislabeled me all the time and

they stereotype me

and what’s a stereotype it’s when we

make assumptions and we do it all the

time right you’re walking in class

you’re in the hallway and maybe you see

a girl with a brand-name bag and you

think she got money look at her look at

that brand-name bag or you see the

student with the always raising his hand

and he always has the A’s

you think oh my god he must be such a

nerd or the teacher with the accent must

be an emigrant right we think those

things but they’re so wrong we’re always

making assumptions and we need to check

how we think about people we don’t know

anything about these people maybe the

girl with the brand-name bag that could

have been a gift maybe she acts

he works three jobs just to make it to

high school and is trying really hard to

get to college and you know why that’s a

possibility because that was me when I

was in high school I got my first Coach

bag and it’s a coach bag that I still

carry to this day and I worked three

jobs I came from a lower socioeconomic

status I were I lived in the projects

and I tried really hard to make it to

college college was my pathway out and

so the only way I was gonna do that was

by working really hard so I traveled

five hours every day to go to school and

back round-trip and then I also worked

three jobs it’s really important you

have to find your way and make your way

and not let anybody else stereotype you

but they do because people used to

always think oh you got money and I

didn’t have no money I didn’t even have

any savings to go to college so it’s

really important that you always find

the way it’s a not stereotype sometimes

when we stereotype we stereotype threat

stereotype threatening is basically when

you have someone live up to the

stereotype so all the times that you

continue to tell somebody negative

images they start to live up to that

height so for example you give negative

messages daily right so social

psychologist Claude Steele says that

that’s a microaggression

microaggressions are the daily negative

messages that we give to each other so

sometimes it’s in humor sometimes people

use jokes and they’re like oh can I

touch your hair I want to touch your

hair how’s that look or you look really

cute today and there’s all types of hate

in those messages right you wondering

like oh you something’s wrong with you

there’s all types of hate but it’s not

direct it’s not upfront it’s all

subliminal and indirect those are

microaggressions and a lot of times they

do add up and the person who’s receiving

all of that feel some type of way

especially when it comes to language

identification the way we carry

ourselves so we need to be able to

bridge the gap and ask questions and

check ourselves dr. Laura Brown a would

say we would do that with insa cultural

communication now that sounds like a

super spiffy theory but it’s really

simple it’s basically just finding ways

to communicate between the cultures and

how you do that is really simple you see

a person you don’t necessarily know how


identify you’re confused about something

so you sincerely ask

there is no dumb question I’m sure you

hear that all the time in school there’s

no dumb question you don’t understand

something have a conversation you want

to know something more about something

just do it intercultural communication

happens all the time but we need to be

intentional about it right

we need to critically think like new

quiz says so that we can build that

connection the way Lieberman says and

that’s really important you probably do

it with your parents all the time think

about it the language you use this idea

of varying English it’s true the things

that you say now imma get it your

parents didn’t use lit they use dope or

they used cool it’s so different you use

Facebook now as a tools to connect they

didn’t have that they didn’t even have

cell phones most of them they had

handsets connected to the walls y’all

looking at me like I don’t know what

that is because there’s a difference in

generation and it’s really important

that you understand the difference and

you build those connections with

everybody it’s really important to check

your assumptions and build the bridges

within the cultures you also need to

make sure that you’re not micro

aggressing which we do all the time and

it’s hard right owning your humanity is

not always so simple

especially when the nation is telling

you that certain lives don’t matter when

global warming is taking away our

resources when terrorism is on the rise

now it’s more complex than ever to try

to stay positive but the reality is is

that you need to be able to do that when

I was in college it would have been easy

to retaliate I grew up in the hood we

could have fought but this the thing I

didn’t want to lose my scholarship right

I had an 80% scholarship to go to

college I didn’t want to lose that that

was more important to me

leaving the hood was more important to

me so that I could make it out there and

that’s what I’m saying you need to make

sure that you prioritize what’s going to

be your story what’s gonna be the way

that you connect with the world how are

you gonna fulfill your passions and how

are you gonna make a positive impact

with each other what’s gonna be your

footprint not just your carbon footprint

but the footprint that you leave when

you think about your next steps some of

you talked about going to college

some of you are thinking about going

into the work field and that’s great but

the only way you can do that is making

sure that you build those connections

because it’s so important

to have a community of people behind you

don’t forget about the person next to

you don’t forget about the family that

you have don’t forget about the people

that are gonna be coming up behind you

that’s so important so instead of

treating people how you think they

should be treated make sure that you ask

the question how do you like to be

called what’s the way I can best respect

you how do you like to be appreciated

because that matters and every time that

somebody mistreats you think about that

we don’t always walk in the same

footsteps right we don’t always wear

each other’s shoes and if you ever

wonder if that’s true sometimes you

drive up six ninety least and west

people have the signs out there

sometimes they don’t have shoes so

always let that be a reminder we don’t

walk in each other’s shoes because

sometimes we don’t even have the shoes

to share each other’s footprints make

sure that you’re always building

community and when you don’t know how to

do that just ask the question that’s the

Platinum rule forget the golden rule

have a good day everyone thank you [Applause]

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