I’m a psychologist my job is to
illuminate the obvious now think about
that
I get paid to tell people things they
already know or to show them things that
they already see but there’s a lot of
obvious things that are completely
unnoticed let’s just go there for a
minute
obvious but unnoticed like your shoes
for example can you feel them yeah is it
obvious yeah but you didn’t notice
before I called it to your attention or
the fact that we’re speaking English
anybody notice obvious but unnoticed
until it’s called to your attention
that’s what I’m talking about there are
a lot of processes in our own mind that
are completely obvious once they’re
called to your attention but also
completely unnoticed right up until that
point one of those processes is called
metacognition mal metacognition is a
made-up word we make up words in
psychology it makes us feel smart and
this is one of them if you break it down
cognition means thinking we’ll put that
right here at this level metacognition
is a higher level it’s thinking about
thinking this gets a little loopy stay
with me notice that you can do this you
can think about your own thinking and
this is really great news because
metacognition creates a space and in
that space is where choice exists now
you’ve heard that happiness is a choice
if you heard that until you see it as a
choice it’s not and it’s that
metacognition that creates the space in
which we get to it
experience that choice principles
determine all of life’s outcomes when I
talk about principles I mean natural
laws like gravity for example you ever
get up in the morning think honed of
gravities on today it tends to be when
you jump from the top of a tall building
sometimes are all the time do you see
how gravity is what if you don’t believe
in it and you take a big jump you become
a believer on the way down
all right gravity doesn’t care it
doesn’t check in with you first make
sure it’s okay
it’s always on and it’s always working
so tune into that principles to
determine all of life’s outcomes I know
that’s a bold statement I believe that
it’s true our awareness of those
principles is a whole other question so
I’ll build a model for you tonight that
illuminates two principles or processes
that are going on in your own mind these
are obvious but unnoticed until they’re
called to your attention
it is what it is does that annoy anybody
else seriously depending on who’s saying
it and why for tonight all it means is
the way things are you think about your
life your relationships your finances
your health it’s who you’re with it’s
what you have it’s what’s going on it’s
the way things are right now without
changing anything
it is what it is now this will make more
sense if I put it into a context I have
the honor and privilege of speaking at
the National Speakers Association last
year in Orlando while I was waiting I
got to hear this lady speak this is
Jeanie Robertson she’s one of my heroes
if you don’t know who she is do yourself
the favor of going to youtube check it
out she’s the funniest g-rated
family-friendly comedian on the planet
and
I’m sitting on the front row this is
awesome and then I get a text message
now I got to tell you something about
Jamie when you’re in genies audience and
you’re scrolling through your phone
especially if you’re on the front row
she has a conversation with you
you get to be part of the show now right
so I didn’t want to do that my phone was
in my backpack under my chair but I got
a little notification on my Fitbit you
know the little truncated version that
gives you a little a little short
version and here’s what I saw as I
glanced down now you probably can’t read
this it’s from my sister Melanie she
said I wanted you to know that Talan had
an accident last night he was on his
annual volunteer first responder timp
weekend and slipped and fell off a
30-foot dot dot dot and that’s all I got
you ever got that text that call now I’m
not gonna pull out my phone I don’t want
to have that conversation with Jeannie
right now besides she’s about ready to
wrap up but my thoughts go immediately
to this family
this is Talon my niece Katrina their
little baby sage taking about two weeks
before the accident and I’m wondering
what’s going on my own father lost his
dad to an accident when he was only five
good friend of mine crashed his plane in
Utah Lake ten years ago left his wife
and family without a husband and father
this is where my mind’s going Jeanie
wraps up I don’t even know what she said
after that I slip out into the hall
where I can open up my iphone this is a
screenshot pick up where we left off
30-foot waterfall and broke both of his
ankles in serious
they injured his knee they could use
your prayers how are you feeling as I
shared the rest of the story with you
happy what’s wrong with you people but
my nephew breaks both of his ankles and
you’re feeling good about this
it’s okay so was i I was I called
Katrina immediately I said I was sweetie
I just heard what happened she said
thank you for calling uncle Paul we’re
just so grateful we’re so happy about
this outcome okay that’s a little weird
right I want you to see what your mind
is doing because it’s not weird it’s
human psychology it is what it is and in
this case what it is is two compound
fractures both ankles that’s it what is
your mind doing with this the word that
I put on the slide is evaluation and you
can’t turn this off any more than you
can turn off gravity you’re going to
evaluate evaluation means judgment you
are constantly judging just notice it
you’re judging yourself you judge your
spouse you judge your family you judge
your children you judge your coworkers
you judge the society you’re judging me
it’s cool I’m judging you we can’t turn
it off just notice that you’re doing it
now the word evaluation itself implies
comparison with some standard you
educators know this you have to have
some standard to compare it to is this
good or bad luck here unlucky I don’t
know I’ll check and so you go to your
standards if you don’t have one you’ll
make one up and you’ve got a really
great imagination it is what it is two
broken ankles can you imagine can you
giving a keynote last week a guy in the
front row one broken ankle seriously can
we do any better than that yes how about
no accident occurs ok can you imagine
that how about nothing happens out of
the ordinary everything goes just like I
planned it to because that’s all my life
rolls no that’s your imagination but you
can imagine that’s my point when you
take two broken ankles and you compare
it in your imagination to something a
lot better like no accident occurs how
do you feel about two broken ankles this
is bad and you are never wrong about how
you feel can I say that again I’m a
clinical psychologist you are never
wrong about how you feel how you feel is
100% consistent with the way your own
mind is doing this process just notice
it you’re probably getting ahead of me
can you imagine anything worse than two
broken ankles yes you can and I helped
you out with that because I told you
about my dad and my friend who crashed
in the lake
yeah you can imagine something worse
when you take two broken ankles and you
compare it in your imagination to
something far worse like the death of a
young father on Timpanogos how do you
feel about two broken ankles this is
just sick somehow but this is how our
mind works just notice it and there’s
two sides to this evaluative question
what it is is all you got and what it is
is always between better and worse don’t
take my word for that you run it through
your own filters of truth and see if
it’s true because what we do here
matters we’re going to another process
next and you can’t turn this one off any
more than you can turn off gravity
valuation it’s called creation you are
going to do this I think that by our
very nature we are creators and that
means we can’t turn it up we’re gonna
create something what if I gave you an
assignment to just take 15 minutes all
time you go out there you can work on
your own or together in teams somehow
make your life worse ready would you
ever do that on purpose I mean we do it
accidentally all the time you just
notice how quickly your brain your mind
your marvellous mind can come up with
half a dozen ways to pull that off it
wouldn’t even take 15 minutes let it why
can we imagine all of these things we
have to imagine what we’re going to
create nothing exists until it is first
imagined and you don’t know what’s
coming how you doing next week you don’t
know you got something to do with it but
you don’t know so you have to imagine
that first when you imagine that what’s
coming is worse than what you’ve already
got how do you feel this my friends is
anxiety that’s the clinical definition
of ings that’s 23 years of clinical
experience in a nutshell you don’t know
what’s coming how do you feel when you
imagine that what’s coming it’s better
than what you’ve already got how do you
feel and this has two sides to it as
well but you’ll notice the arrows are
opposite when we put the whole model
together this is what I call the
positivity vector and it proves and
shows psychologically why it is very
true what they say that it could always
be better it could always be worse and
happiness is in fact a choice you don’t
always get to choose what it is
sometimes that just shows up for you
what do you get to choose which way you
possibly you’ve pondered that perhaps a
program or a process could predictably
propel people to unprecedented personal
that’s what I’m calling pathological
positivity now perhaps you picked up on
this point that our planet is plagued
the popular perception of painful or
perturbing problems is pathogenic ly
paralyzing the predominant population
pathological positivity programs and
positions people to perceive positive
possibilities in painful problems it
inspires and provokes people to apply
positive principles and practices even
in paralyzing predicaments now
pathological positivity is not just a
program or some fluffy philosophy that’s
it’s a personal preference a programmed
and practice proclivity to purposefully
opt for the positive from a plethora of
possible perceptions this promotes
powerful personal and professional
prosperity pernicious pandemic poisonous
pestilent pessimism is pummeled into
powder as professionals parents all
people permit apply promote and
popularize pathologically positive
paradigms the payoff is powerful and
profound personal and professional
prosperity I am profoundly and profusely
appreciative of being present I’m dr.
Paul [Applause]
illuminate the obvious now think about
that
I get paid to tell people things they
already know or to show them things that
they already see but there’s a lot of
obvious things that are completely
unnoticed let’s just go there for a
minute
obvious but unnoticed like your shoes
for example can you feel them yeah is it
obvious yeah but you didn’t notice
before I called it to your attention or
the fact that we’re speaking English
anybody notice obvious but unnoticed
until it’s called to your attention
that’s what I’m talking about there are
a lot of processes in our own mind that
are completely obvious once they’re
called to your attention but also
completely unnoticed right up until that
point one of those processes is called
metacognition mal metacognition is a
made-up word we make up words in
psychology it makes us feel smart and
this is one of them if you break it down
cognition means thinking we’ll put that
right here at this level metacognition
is a higher level it’s thinking about
thinking this gets a little loopy stay
with me notice that you can do this you
can think about your own thinking and
this is really great news because
metacognition creates a space and in
that space is where choice exists now
you’ve heard that happiness is a choice
if you heard that until you see it as a
choice it’s not and it’s that
metacognition that creates the space in
which we get to it
experience that choice principles
determine all of life’s outcomes when I
talk about principles I mean natural
laws like gravity for example you ever
get up in the morning think honed of
gravities on today it tends to be when
you jump from the top of a tall building
sometimes are all the time do you see
how gravity is what if you don’t believe
in it and you take a big jump you become
a believer on the way down
all right gravity doesn’t care it
doesn’t check in with you first make
sure it’s okay
it’s always on and it’s always working
so tune into that principles to
determine all of life’s outcomes I know
that’s a bold statement I believe that
it’s true our awareness of those
principles is a whole other question so
I’ll build a model for you tonight that
illuminates two principles or processes
that are going on in your own mind these
are obvious but unnoticed until they’re
called to your attention
it is what it is does that annoy anybody
else seriously depending on who’s saying
it and why for tonight all it means is
the way things are you think about your
life your relationships your finances
your health it’s who you’re with it’s
what you have it’s what’s going on it’s
the way things are right now without
changing anything
it is what it is now this will make more
sense if I put it into a context I have
the honor and privilege of speaking at
the National Speakers Association last
year in Orlando while I was waiting I
got to hear this lady speak this is
Jeanie Robertson she’s one of my heroes
if you don’t know who she is do yourself
the favor of going to youtube check it
out she’s the funniest g-rated
family-friendly comedian on the planet
and
I’m sitting on the front row this is
awesome and then I get a text message
now I got to tell you something about
Jamie when you’re in genies audience and
you’re scrolling through your phone
especially if you’re on the front row
she has a conversation with you
you get to be part of the show now right
so I didn’t want to do that my phone was
in my backpack under my chair but I got
a little notification on my Fitbit you
know the little truncated version that
gives you a little a little short
version and here’s what I saw as I
glanced down now you probably can’t read
this it’s from my sister Melanie she
said I wanted you to know that Talan had
an accident last night he was on his
annual volunteer first responder timp
weekend and slipped and fell off a
30-foot dot dot dot and that’s all I got
you ever got that text that call now I’m
not gonna pull out my phone I don’t want
to have that conversation with Jeannie
right now besides she’s about ready to
wrap up but my thoughts go immediately
to this family
this is Talon my niece Katrina their
little baby sage taking about two weeks
before the accident and I’m wondering
what’s going on my own father lost his
dad to an accident when he was only five
good friend of mine crashed his plane in
Utah Lake ten years ago left his wife
and family without a husband and father
this is where my mind’s going Jeanie
wraps up I don’t even know what she said
after that I slip out into the hall
where I can open up my iphone this is a
screenshot pick up where we left off
30-foot waterfall and broke both of his
ankles in serious
they injured his knee they could use
your prayers how are you feeling as I
shared the rest of the story with you
happy what’s wrong with you people but
my nephew breaks both of his ankles and
you’re feeling good about this
it’s okay so was i I was I called
Katrina immediately I said I was sweetie
I just heard what happened she said
thank you for calling uncle Paul we’re
just so grateful we’re so happy about
this outcome okay that’s a little weird
right I want you to see what your mind
is doing because it’s not weird it’s
human psychology it is what it is and in
this case what it is is two compound
fractures both ankles that’s it what is
your mind doing with this the word that
I put on the slide is evaluation and you
can’t turn this off any more than you
can turn off gravity you’re going to
evaluate evaluation means judgment you
are constantly judging just notice it
you’re judging yourself you judge your
spouse you judge your family you judge
your children you judge your coworkers
you judge the society you’re judging me
it’s cool I’m judging you we can’t turn
it off just notice that you’re doing it
now the word evaluation itself implies
comparison with some standard you
educators know this you have to have
some standard to compare it to is this
good or bad luck here unlucky I don’t
know I’ll check and so you go to your
standards if you don’t have one you’ll
make one up and you’ve got a really
great imagination it is what it is two
broken ankles can you imagine can you
giving a keynote last week a guy in the
front row one broken ankle seriously can
we do any better than that yes how about
no accident occurs ok can you imagine
that how about nothing happens out of
the ordinary everything goes just like I
planned it to because that’s all my life
rolls no that’s your imagination but you
can imagine that’s my point when you
take two broken ankles and you compare
it in your imagination to something a
lot better like no accident occurs how
do you feel about two broken ankles this
is bad and you are never wrong about how
you feel can I say that again I’m a
clinical psychologist you are never
wrong about how you feel how you feel is
100% consistent with the way your own
mind is doing this process just notice
it you’re probably getting ahead of me
can you imagine anything worse than two
broken ankles yes you can and I helped
you out with that because I told you
about my dad and my friend who crashed
in the lake
yeah you can imagine something worse
when you take two broken ankles and you
compare it in your imagination to
something far worse like the death of a
young father on Timpanogos how do you
feel about two broken ankles this is
just sick somehow but this is how our
mind works just notice it and there’s
two sides to this evaluative question
what it is is all you got and what it is
is always between better and worse don’t
take my word for that you run it through
your own filters of truth and see if
it’s true because what we do here
matters we’re going to another process
next and you can’t turn this one off any
more than you can turn off gravity
valuation it’s called creation you are
going to do this I think that by our
very nature we are creators and that
means we can’t turn it up we’re gonna
create something what if I gave you an
assignment to just take 15 minutes all
time you go out there you can work on
your own or together in teams somehow
make your life worse ready would you
ever do that on purpose I mean we do it
accidentally all the time you just
notice how quickly your brain your mind
your marvellous mind can come up with
half a dozen ways to pull that off it
wouldn’t even take 15 minutes let it why
can we imagine all of these things we
have to imagine what we’re going to
create nothing exists until it is first
imagined and you don’t know what’s
coming how you doing next week you don’t
know you got something to do with it but
you don’t know so you have to imagine
that first when you imagine that what’s
coming is worse than what you’ve already
got how do you feel this my friends is
anxiety that’s the clinical definition
of ings that’s 23 years of clinical
experience in a nutshell you don’t know
what’s coming how do you feel when you
imagine that what’s coming it’s better
than what you’ve already got how do you
feel and this has two sides to it as
well but you’ll notice the arrows are
opposite when we put the whole model
together this is what I call the
positivity vector and it proves and
shows psychologically why it is very
true what they say that it could always
be better it could always be worse and
happiness is in fact a choice you don’t
always get to choose what it is
sometimes that just shows up for you
what do you get to choose which way you
possibly you’ve pondered that perhaps a
program or a process could predictably
propel people to unprecedented personal
that’s what I’m calling pathological
positivity now perhaps you picked up on
this point that our planet is plagued
the popular perception of painful or
perturbing problems is pathogenic ly
paralyzing the predominant population
pathological positivity programs and
positions people to perceive positive
possibilities in painful problems it
inspires and provokes people to apply
positive principles and practices even
in paralyzing predicaments now
pathological positivity is not just a
program or some fluffy philosophy that’s
it’s a personal preference a programmed
and practice proclivity to purposefully
opt for the positive from a plethora of
possible perceptions this promotes
powerful personal and professional
prosperity pernicious pandemic poisonous
pestilent pessimism is pummeled into
powder as professionals parents all
people permit apply promote and
popularize pathologically positive
paradigms the payoff is powerful and
profound personal and professional
prosperity I am profoundly and profusely
appreciative of being present I’m dr.
Paul [Applause]
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