[Music]
the idea that anything is possible is
supposed to fill you all with hope and
excitement it’s supposed to make you
believe that if you set your mind to a
task you can do it and while I do agree
with that in many senses hearing that
anything is possible when you’re
depressed is one of the worst things
imaginable why because when you’re
depressed nothing feels possible when I
first began to struggle with my
depression I confided in my family and I
asked for help but was determined that
no one else would know I even tried to
convince myself that I was just going
through a weird hormone phase that would
pass the time because what I really
wanted to do was fit in and let’s face
it in your middle school years who
doesn’t
so to hide my real self
I created this happy persona that was
full of energy and smiles and it didn’t
feel like me but I hoped it would trick
everyone else around me unfortunately
this did more harm than good because
this illusion of fitting in only ended
up creating a barrier between me and
others I would never tell people what
made me upset or uncomfortable and I
would hide all of the hardships I was
facing effectively creating an emotional
barrier between me and others in a
somewhat twisted way though this
actually made me feel safer because it
meant that people weren’t seeing the
real me I would look back at photos of
myself at the time and see my arms
wrapped around friends and a big grin
plastered on my face but if I would look
closer at my eyes there was no way I
could deny the sadness that was behind
them and I tried to cover it up I would
look back through my Instagram photos
and
I was obsessed with Instagram at the
time and I would try to convince myself
that I really was happy it was so easy
to have photos of me and my friends and
to create that illusion of the perfect
life but it was a lie and it was taxing
I would return home each day with little
to no energy oftentimes just laying like
laying down and staying still in bed for
hours it was at this point that my
family grew really worried and when my
mom brought up the idea of therapy I
couldn’t say no part of me
subconsciously knew that what was going
on was more than some crazy hormone
phase and another part of me just needed
help regardless of why I said yes I
still went into my first session with my
happy persona on in fact I was very
hesitant to reveal my true self for my
first few sessions but after the first
month or so I started to crack and
eventually I found that I was more
confident and more willing to express
myself I publicly went face to face with
my shame during Mental Health Awareness
Week two years ago I was feeling more
confident and I decided I was ready to
be open with people regardless of what
they think so I wrote a Facebook post
the essence of which was that I struggle
with depression and anxiety and even
though it was hard for me to say that I
knew that sharing my experiences would
help others in the long run especially
myself then I had post immediately I
felt like I’d made a mistake my previous
thoughts of being open they were gone it
was better to live in this hidden misery
than to live in public shame I thought
to myself I hit refresh over and over
and over again but there was no response
on my post so far and I was freaking out
I was actually about to hit the delete
button because I was pretty certain
everyone had seen it and they all hated
me and then it started
the support of replies poured in one
after the other my close friends
immediately messaged me saying that they
were so sorry they had never known and
asking why I had been afraid to tell
them others just offered words of
support and encouragement where a third
very unique group actually identified
with what I was saying sharing that they
too were struggling with their mental
health well this came as a complete
shock to me I had expected none of this
in fact that’s why I had been so scared
to reveal my true self for the past
several years but the exact opposite of
the hatred and disgust I had expected
was happening
I wasn’t being told to be quiet I was
being told to speak up and that’s when I
realized something important the idea
that we need to hide and live with
mental illness is a stigma that we need
to change because the stigma is what
makes us feel shame now
I’ve had friends come up to me ever
since I came out with my depression and
they’ve said things like you can do
stuff and like it’s not that hard just
pull up your bootstraps and get to it
and yes I know that they’re trying to
help but hearing that really just makes
me feel more shame because the truth is
I can’t help myself on my own I need
others and I know now that I’m not alone
within my high school my community my
friends my family and almost 43 million
Americans every single year struggle
with some form of mental illness in fact
1/5 of the entire world struggles with
mental health and this is just the
people that report it so look around you
right now look at the person next to you
or the person that’s two seats away from
you and for every 5 of you in a row it’s
pretty likely that at least one of you
is or will struggle with a mental
illness at some point in your lives no
it’s not noticeable you’re not gonna
turn to the person next to you and see
oh my god depression that’s not how it
works
but you know it’s it’s still there it’s
under the surface and most importantly
it’s okay
mental Alyssa’s are not new they’ve been
documented since the earliest written
word but who here would actually admit
that who would admit that they feel pain
or unhappiness a perfect example of this
actually is earlier this year I was
beginning my college essay writing
process and one of the first things that
I was told was not to write about my
depression ironically enough the second
thing I was told was to be authentic my
reaction exactly so I I asked I asked if
someone writes about overcoming a sports
injury or a traumatic surgery everyone
says wow what a great story
because well it is a great story so why
can’t overcoming a mental health
struggle also be a great story and I
realized the answer it’s because there’s
a disconnect in our minds between mental
and physical health when they’re
actually quite similar both required
treatment both require compassion but
most importantly neither of them can be
solved by the power of one’s own will so
I think back to that comment about not
writing about my depression and what I
asked actually they gave me two reasons
why I shouldn’t the first it’ll make me
seem like I’m at a risk to relapse and
the second it makes me seem like I’m
weak I will address relapsing first am I
going to relapse well I’m actually still
depressed it comes and goes and waves
some mornings I wake up and I’m ready to
tackle the world whereas others I
actually can’t pull myself out of bed in
all honesty I’m going to struggle with
some form of depression my entire life
it’s not gonna be some day I wake up and
snap it’s gone
that’s not how depression works but that
doesn’t have to stop me from achieving
my dreams from going out into the world
and
accomplishing the things I want to
accomplish depression isn’t the end for
me or anyone who struggles with it now
to address the second thing I am NOT
weak anyone who has ever struggled with
their mental health is the farthest
thing from weak and those that have had
the courage to stand up to get help are
stronger than anyone who has pretended
that they or others aren’t struggling it
takes so much courage to come forward it
is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
in my entire life and I was surrounded
by a support system of family and
therapists and medication and friends
that I didn’t even know were there
sometimes I wonder if I would have even
had that courage if I hadn’t had that
kind of support to me that would have
been impossible now I don’t want it to
seem like I’m calling people who haven’t
gotten that help week because that is
not true I know what it’s like to
struggle without help
it takes an unimaginable amount of
strength to survive but I urge you to
consider this to come forward to find
that kind of courage will help you find
a new strength that enables you to be
who you are so what can all of us do to
help what can we do to get rid of the
stigma surrounding mental illness I
asked myself that two years ago and the
truth is I knew the answer but I didn’t
want to admit it because it meant that I
had to step up so that’s the answer I’m
gonna tell you today because it’s time
that I stand up it’s time that we all
stand up it comes down to individuals it
comes down to you and you and you and me
walking out of this auditorium being
more willing to listen to others it
comes down to you and me walking out of
this auditorium and hearing what others
have to say and not shooting them down
listening to them
accepting their reality I try to apply
this to my own life I’m still in high
school I’m a senior and sometimes I go
to class and there’s this kid next to me
that never does his homework and he
plays it cool he’s like I didn’t feel
like it and everyone just kind of laughs
it off the teachers annoyed but what if
that kid wasn’t just lazy what if he
went home and the idea of taking out his
pens papers binders notebooks pencils
textbooks it was just it was
overwhelming to him that idea was
impossible and his cool attitude is the
same thing as my happy persona he’s just
trying to cover up the pain that he’s
feeling if we walk out of this
auditorium today and not only are we
more willing to hear others but we’re
more willing to share our own
experiences to be open to encourage that
kind of environment where people can
lean on each other for support then I
know we can make those impossible
moments for people possible thank you
[Applause]
the idea that anything is possible is
supposed to fill you all with hope and
excitement it’s supposed to make you
believe that if you set your mind to a
task you can do it and while I do agree
with that in many senses hearing that
anything is possible when you’re
depressed is one of the worst things
imaginable why because when you’re
depressed nothing feels possible when I
first began to struggle with my
depression I confided in my family and I
asked for help but was determined that
no one else would know I even tried to
convince myself that I was just going
through a weird hormone phase that would
pass the time because what I really
wanted to do was fit in and let’s face
it in your middle school years who
doesn’t
so to hide my real self
I created this happy persona that was
full of energy and smiles and it didn’t
feel like me but I hoped it would trick
everyone else around me unfortunately
this did more harm than good because
this illusion of fitting in only ended
up creating a barrier between me and
others I would never tell people what
made me upset or uncomfortable and I
would hide all of the hardships I was
facing effectively creating an emotional
barrier between me and others in a
somewhat twisted way though this
actually made me feel safer because it
meant that people weren’t seeing the
real me I would look back at photos of
myself at the time and see my arms
wrapped around friends and a big grin
plastered on my face but if I would look
closer at my eyes there was no way I
could deny the sadness that was behind
them and I tried to cover it up I would
look back through my Instagram photos
and
I was obsessed with Instagram at the
time and I would try to convince myself
that I really was happy it was so easy
to have photos of me and my friends and
to create that illusion of the perfect
life but it was a lie and it was taxing
I would return home each day with little
to no energy oftentimes just laying like
laying down and staying still in bed for
hours it was at this point that my
family grew really worried and when my
mom brought up the idea of therapy I
couldn’t say no part of me
subconsciously knew that what was going
on was more than some crazy hormone
phase and another part of me just needed
help regardless of why I said yes I
still went into my first session with my
happy persona on in fact I was very
hesitant to reveal my true self for my
first few sessions but after the first
month or so I started to crack and
eventually I found that I was more
confident and more willing to express
myself I publicly went face to face with
my shame during Mental Health Awareness
Week two years ago I was feeling more
confident and I decided I was ready to
be open with people regardless of what
they think so I wrote a Facebook post
the essence of which was that I struggle
with depression and anxiety and even
though it was hard for me to say that I
knew that sharing my experiences would
help others in the long run especially
myself then I had post immediately I
felt like I’d made a mistake my previous
thoughts of being open they were gone it
was better to live in this hidden misery
than to live in public shame I thought
to myself I hit refresh over and over
and over again but there was no response
on my post so far and I was freaking out
I was actually about to hit the delete
button because I was pretty certain
everyone had seen it and they all hated
me and then it started
the support of replies poured in one
after the other my close friends
immediately messaged me saying that they
were so sorry they had never known and
asking why I had been afraid to tell
them others just offered words of
support and encouragement where a third
very unique group actually identified
with what I was saying sharing that they
too were struggling with their mental
health well this came as a complete
shock to me I had expected none of this
in fact that’s why I had been so scared
to reveal my true self for the past
several years but the exact opposite of
the hatred and disgust I had expected
was happening
I wasn’t being told to be quiet I was
being told to speak up and that’s when I
realized something important the idea
that we need to hide and live with
mental illness is a stigma that we need
to change because the stigma is what
makes us feel shame now
I’ve had friends come up to me ever
since I came out with my depression and
they’ve said things like you can do
stuff and like it’s not that hard just
pull up your bootstraps and get to it
and yes I know that they’re trying to
help but hearing that really just makes
me feel more shame because the truth is
I can’t help myself on my own I need
others and I know now that I’m not alone
within my high school my community my
friends my family and almost 43 million
Americans every single year struggle
with some form of mental illness in fact
1/5 of the entire world struggles with
mental health and this is just the
people that report it so look around you
right now look at the person next to you
or the person that’s two seats away from
you and for every 5 of you in a row it’s
pretty likely that at least one of you
is or will struggle with a mental
illness at some point in your lives no
it’s not noticeable you’re not gonna
turn to the person next to you and see
oh my god depression that’s not how it
works
but you know it’s it’s still there it’s
under the surface and most importantly
it’s okay
mental Alyssa’s are not new they’ve been
documented since the earliest written
word but who here would actually admit
that who would admit that they feel pain
or unhappiness a perfect example of this
actually is earlier this year I was
beginning my college essay writing
process and one of the first things that
I was told was not to write about my
depression ironically enough the second
thing I was told was to be authentic my
reaction exactly so I I asked I asked if
someone writes about overcoming a sports
injury or a traumatic surgery everyone
says wow what a great story
because well it is a great story so why
can’t overcoming a mental health
struggle also be a great story and I
realized the answer it’s because there’s
a disconnect in our minds between mental
and physical health when they’re
actually quite similar both required
treatment both require compassion but
most importantly neither of them can be
solved by the power of one’s own will so
I think back to that comment about not
writing about my depression and what I
asked actually they gave me two reasons
why I shouldn’t the first it’ll make me
seem like I’m at a risk to relapse and
the second it makes me seem like I’m
weak I will address relapsing first am I
going to relapse well I’m actually still
depressed it comes and goes and waves
some mornings I wake up and I’m ready to
tackle the world whereas others I
actually can’t pull myself out of bed in
all honesty I’m going to struggle with
some form of depression my entire life
it’s not gonna be some day I wake up and
snap it’s gone
that’s not how depression works but that
doesn’t have to stop me from achieving
my dreams from going out into the world
and
accomplishing the things I want to
accomplish depression isn’t the end for
me or anyone who struggles with it now
to address the second thing I am NOT
weak anyone who has ever struggled with
their mental health is the farthest
thing from weak and those that have had
the courage to stand up to get help are
stronger than anyone who has pretended
that they or others aren’t struggling it
takes so much courage to come forward it
is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
in my entire life and I was surrounded
by a support system of family and
therapists and medication and friends
that I didn’t even know were there
sometimes I wonder if I would have even
had that courage if I hadn’t had that
kind of support to me that would have
been impossible now I don’t want it to
seem like I’m calling people who haven’t
gotten that help week because that is
not true I know what it’s like to
struggle without help
it takes an unimaginable amount of
strength to survive but I urge you to
consider this to come forward to find
that kind of courage will help you find
a new strength that enables you to be
who you are so what can all of us do to
help what can we do to get rid of the
stigma surrounding mental illness I
asked myself that two years ago and the
truth is I knew the answer but I didn’t
want to admit it because it meant that I
had to step up so that’s the answer I’m
gonna tell you today because it’s time
that I stand up it’s time that we all
stand up it comes down to individuals it
comes down to you and you and you and me
walking out of this auditorium being
more willing to listen to others it
comes down to you and me walking out of
this auditorium and hearing what others
have to say and not shooting them down
listening to them
accepting their reality I try to apply
this to my own life I’m still in high
school I’m a senior and sometimes I go
to class and there’s this kid next to me
that never does his homework and he
plays it cool he’s like I didn’t feel
like it and everyone just kind of laughs
it off the teachers annoyed but what if
that kid wasn’t just lazy what if he
went home and the idea of taking out his
pens papers binders notebooks pencils
textbooks it was just it was
overwhelming to him that idea was
impossible and his cool attitude is the
same thing as my happy persona he’s just
trying to cover up the pain that he’s
feeling if we walk out of this
auditorium today and not only are we
more willing to hear others but we’re
more willing to share our own
experiences to be open to encourage that
kind of environment where people can
lean on each other for support then I
know we can make those impossible
moments for people possible thank you
[Applause]
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