[Applause]
tell your story change the conversation
organized by students TEDx youth at shc
the years in which I was most miserable
the years in which I made the worst
decisions for myself and those around me
the years in which my childhood abruptly
ended are the years in which I have
become most grateful for I am a highly
sensitive person transitions and new
situations rattle me large groups of
people sometimes make me very
uncomfortable
I’m ultra aware of the discomfort of
those around me and most of all I feel
emotions very strongly when I was in
elementary school I lack the
self-awareness to understand and handle
these emotions properly my godmother is
a giant season ticket holder and when I
was little I would go through the games
the huge screaming crowds stressed me
out so much I wouldn’t eat for the
entire afternoon causing me to get a
horrible stomachache we usually left
around the fifth inning another time in
elementary school I boycotted the young
museum semi-permanently after a stained
glass piece of a little girl and her
dead bunny caused me start crying in the
middle of our school field trip although
during those years it felt like the
world was happening to me there was a
negative and lasting effect it was just
elementary school when I reached the
years known as the bane of adolescence
excuse me middle school life became a
lot more complicated than baseball games
and emotionally scarring stained glass
exhibits it was the first time my class
and I were expected to be someone to
look a certain way to manage time and
worry about success it was the first
time all of us had to grow up just a
little bit and it was hard for many of
us the support system in place designed
to guide us through the confusion of
early adolescence was not enough and we
turned to an ulterior emotional outlet
anorexia bulimia self-harm and the
constant craving for perfection reigned
during my seventh grade year through all
of this you would take one look at our
class and externally we all looked fine
for the highly sensitive person like me
it was a war zone
my emotional sieve that processes my
emotions was already strained pun
intended trying to filter my many
emotions and on top of that I was
convinced that I wasn’t supposed to be
feeling these feelings that I wasn’t
supposed to be having a hard time
because it didn’t look like anyone else
was so I throw myself into someone
else’s struggling wherever I could find
it because it was easier to validate the
emotions of other people rather than my
own after year of shoving every feeling
down of punishing myself over growing
pains I somehow convinced myself I
didn’t deserve to feel bad I know it
sounds absurd but for me a highly
sensitive person
I need those negative emotions those bad
days because those are what I step on in
order to reach the good feelings that
are higher up on the Shelf by depriving
myself of negative feelings I ended up
depriving myself of all feelings and I
was miserable so my parents put me in
therapy the first year I would sit stiff
and still in the couch having to face
the crushing weight of all of the
feelings I shoved down for so long but
by the end of eighth grade I had more
tools to help me handle my sensitivity
in a constructive way and I was happier
more comfortable in my relationships and
emotionally functional then I graduated
starting high school felt like drowning
all over again I went from a class of
30-something students to a class of 300
something students grades actually
mattered the material was hard worth the
ball I was peeling all this pressure to
put myself out there and join sports
clubs and extra classes my emotional
sieve and I had just learned how to walk
again
and I was being asked to sprint I went
through freshman year not repressing
emotions but doing my best to avoid the
big ones I stuck to my daily routine
like he was the only thing keeping me
together and I didn’t do sports or clubs
and I made friends conservatively I was
slowly weaned off of therapy and stopped
halfway through freshman year I wasn’t
super happy but I was safe and I was
finally figuring out how to as I put it
emotion correctly again this year
finally figured some stuff out after a
good year of practicing with my emotions
my high sensitivity is no longer
something that hurts me but something
that helps me understand and support
those around me with that tool under my
belt the pieces finally began to fill
together
my emotional sieve processes my emotions
consistently and flawlessly because no
longer am i trying to shove some of
those feelings down most of all I have
learned to love the down days fresher
the times when I feel like nothing is
going right and cherish the moments when
I want to go home and cry because those
are beautiful in their own right I love
those feelings not because of their
position on the Shelf but because they
help me reach the good feelings that are
higher up everyone has varying degrees
of sensitivity and everyone’s emotional
SIVs processes emotions differently but
everyone feels in the same way
sadness hurt happiness feels good in
today’s world certain motions are dubbed
unacceptable because of who you are who
you associate with it’s absurd to tell
anyone how and when they should feel so
I’m going to ask you all to help me
change this thinking the next time you
begin to shove down a feeling because it
embarrasses you or doesn’t fit within
the confinements of how society wants to
see you or you just don’t feel like
dealing with it
take a moment acknowledge that feeling
recognize that it’s valid and understand
that it’s yours and a part of you once
you’ve done that you can hide it away or
do with it what you will because the
important and lasting changes begin from
within so yes the years in which I was
most miserable the years in which I made
the worst decisions for myself and those
around me the years in which my
childhood abruptly ended are the years
in which I become most grateful for
because those were the years when I
learned how to feel like me thank you
tell your story change the conversation
organized by students TEDx youth at shc
the years in which I was most miserable
the years in which I made the worst
decisions for myself and those around me
the years in which my childhood abruptly
ended are the years in which I have
become most grateful for I am a highly
sensitive person transitions and new
situations rattle me large groups of
people sometimes make me very
uncomfortable
I’m ultra aware of the discomfort of
those around me and most of all I feel
emotions very strongly when I was in
elementary school I lack the
self-awareness to understand and handle
these emotions properly my godmother is
a giant season ticket holder and when I
was little I would go through the games
the huge screaming crowds stressed me
out so much I wouldn’t eat for the
entire afternoon causing me to get a
horrible stomachache we usually left
around the fifth inning another time in
elementary school I boycotted the young
museum semi-permanently after a stained
glass piece of a little girl and her
dead bunny caused me start crying in the
middle of our school field trip although
during those years it felt like the
world was happening to me there was a
negative and lasting effect it was just
elementary school when I reached the
years known as the bane of adolescence
excuse me middle school life became a
lot more complicated than baseball games
and emotionally scarring stained glass
exhibits it was the first time my class
and I were expected to be someone to
look a certain way to manage time and
worry about success it was the first
time all of us had to grow up just a
little bit and it was hard for many of
us the support system in place designed
to guide us through the confusion of
early adolescence was not enough and we
turned to an ulterior emotional outlet
anorexia bulimia self-harm and the
constant craving for perfection reigned
during my seventh grade year through all
of this you would take one look at our
class and externally we all looked fine
for the highly sensitive person like me
it was a war zone
my emotional sieve that processes my
emotions was already strained pun
intended trying to filter my many
emotions and on top of that I was
convinced that I wasn’t supposed to be
feeling these feelings that I wasn’t
supposed to be having a hard time
because it didn’t look like anyone else
was so I throw myself into someone
else’s struggling wherever I could find
it because it was easier to validate the
emotions of other people rather than my
own after year of shoving every feeling
down of punishing myself over growing
pains I somehow convinced myself I
didn’t deserve to feel bad I know it
sounds absurd but for me a highly
sensitive person
I need those negative emotions those bad
days because those are what I step on in
order to reach the good feelings that
are higher up on the Shelf by depriving
myself of negative feelings I ended up
depriving myself of all feelings and I
was miserable so my parents put me in
therapy the first year I would sit stiff
and still in the couch having to face
the crushing weight of all of the
feelings I shoved down for so long but
by the end of eighth grade I had more
tools to help me handle my sensitivity
in a constructive way and I was happier
more comfortable in my relationships and
emotionally functional then I graduated
starting high school felt like drowning
all over again I went from a class of
30-something students to a class of 300
something students grades actually
mattered the material was hard worth the
ball I was peeling all this pressure to
put myself out there and join sports
clubs and extra classes my emotional
sieve and I had just learned how to walk
again
and I was being asked to sprint I went
through freshman year not repressing
emotions but doing my best to avoid the
big ones I stuck to my daily routine
like he was the only thing keeping me
together and I didn’t do sports or clubs
and I made friends conservatively I was
slowly weaned off of therapy and stopped
halfway through freshman year I wasn’t
super happy but I was safe and I was
finally figuring out how to as I put it
emotion correctly again this year
finally figured some stuff out after a
good year of practicing with my emotions
my high sensitivity is no longer
something that hurts me but something
that helps me understand and support
those around me with that tool under my
belt the pieces finally began to fill
together
my emotional sieve processes my emotions
consistently and flawlessly because no
longer am i trying to shove some of
those feelings down most of all I have
learned to love the down days fresher
the times when I feel like nothing is
going right and cherish the moments when
I want to go home and cry because those
are beautiful in their own right I love
those feelings not because of their
position on the Shelf but because they
help me reach the good feelings that are
higher up everyone has varying degrees
of sensitivity and everyone’s emotional
SIVs processes emotions differently but
everyone feels in the same way
sadness hurt happiness feels good in
today’s world certain motions are dubbed
unacceptable because of who you are who
you associate with it’s absurd to tell
anyone how and when they should feel so
I’m going to ask you all to help me
change this thinking the next time you
begin to shove down a feeling because it
embarrasses you or doesn’t fit within
the confinements of how society wants to
see you or you just don’t feel like
dealing with it
take a moment acknowledge that feeling
recognize that it’s valid and understand
that it’s yours and a part of you once
you’ve done that you can hide it away or
do with it what you will because the
important and lasting changes begin from
within so yes the years in which I was
most miserable the years in which I made
the worst decisions for myself and those
around me the years in which my
childhood abruptly ended are the years
in which I become most grateful for
because those were the years when I
learned how to feel like me thank you
Please follow and like us: