your order can I get a ice
coffee extra ice light
on the whipped cream please are
you okay sir what’s going on
imagine having to explain yourself
everywhere you go every morning even for
a simple cup of coffee well that’s kind
of like house that’s kind of how it’s
like living with Tourette’s Tourette’s
is a neurological disorder characterized
by involuntary and repetitive behaviors
these behaviors are defined as ticks
ticks can come in two forms
they can come in motor and it can come
in volcko some examples of motors tics
or when you shrug your shoulders or you
can’t control your twitching a couple of
vocal tics that you may have is you know
shouting out obscene words in the
general public and the cause of
Tourette’s is still unknown to this day
but it is found that through research
Tourette’s is hereditary so shout out to
my pops right there for this amazing
but I’m willing to bet that many of you
guys have never encountered a person
with Tourette’s let alone maybe not even
hear about Tourette’s but it’s actually
very common recorded data one out of
every hundred kids in the US have
Tourette’s
but how are you going to tell me that
when I’m sitting in a lecture hall
there’s 500 people and if I’m doing my
math correctly shouldn’t every five
people have turrets but how come I’m the
only one dropping f-bombs and cursing
out the teacher in front of biochem
lecture hold on if you know me you know
I don’t even go to a class so I’m just
joking I’ll get I’ll get back to that
later all right
but disabilities are often seen as a
taboo subject they carry around this
negative stigma everywhere it goes the
first time I was introduced to
Tourette’s was when I was on a date it
was in seventh grade and I was going to
the movies and we watch this movie
called the 500 days of summer and in
this movie there was a couple who the
main characters they were going through
on the park on a little date and there
was this old man who sand the grass and
as the couple was walking by his old man
said please and oshi I was scared too
don’t worry but I didn’t know what it
meant when I tell people I have a
disability
and I tell people I have Tourette’s
people think that my life is just just
one big mess and it’s really not to be
honest but it’s it definitely hasn’t
been a walk in the park
and when it comes to Tourette’s it’s
really about the little things that you
encounter the little frustrations their
little smiles you get the little cries
the little failures even the little
jokes all these low experiences that
build up to make up this big special
journey let me walk you guys through my
childhood you guys will see where I
really mean it all started when I was
about 10 years old I was shrugging my
shoulders I was twitching uncontrollably
and my mom saw it but my mom never
really cared she thought I was being a
little kid but then there was one
particular weekend I was on my weekend
ventures with my pops and we went to
Sears
there was a there was a sale for hammers
and we were walking through the aisle
and out of the blue and my dad looked at
me say well what the hell are you doing
I said I don’t know I I don’t know I did
and then two seconds later yeah no I
know my dad’s like all right you got you
got shut up cuz everyone’s looking I was
I swear my dad was about to take one of
those hammers and nail in my throat to
make me shut up he brought that like he
was trying to kidnap me or something you
know but as we went home weeks went by
it’s not to get worse my nose got
frequent my noise got even louder so my
mom said all right let’s go
let’s go check it out let’s see what’s
up so we spent the next two years going
to different doctors from doctor doctor
medicines and medicine misdiagnosed the
misdiagnosis you know it got to a point
where my doctor just gave up he said I
if you throw so he’s allergies and I was
like what am i allergies he’s like here
just take some claritin and we all know
Clairton ain’t cheap I went to go see a
neurologist and after many tests he
diagnosed me with trance he looked me in
the eye and told me I can cure you and
to me that was the best words that ever
came out of his mouth at this moment I
was transitioned to high school I was
starting my freshman year our Harbor
high school I came in with big dreams I
wanted to be basketball superstar I
wanted to be a musical prodigy I wanted
to be prom king ASB president I wanted
to be the popular kid but little did I
know my life was about to go downhill my
doctor never had the time to tell me
that there was these side effects that
came along with Tourette’s to name a few
insomnia fatigue dizziness nauseousness
drowsiness depression so I do what he
did he I did what he told me I took the
medicine within the first six months of
taking medications I gained 50 pounds 50
goddamn pounds
and this led to me getting kicked off
the basketball team and that was you
know the first struggle big struggle I
faced I went day to day feeling tired
feeling sluggish as I woke up every day
and so I spent my class time sleeping
okay and we all been through high school
most of us and we know that we were just
looking at the clock waiting for the
time to tick down I was different I
wanted to appear to keep going because
once that bell rung that means I had to
get my ass up walk to the next class
across the the school just to put my
head down and go back to sleep but
throughout the years my symptoms got
worse it got to a point where I was just
trying anything anything to to get rid
of my problem and this was a time when I
started building up depression I found
myself laying in my bedroom
side to side rolling around you know
waiting for time to pass the biggest hit
that took was my self-esteem and my
confidence let’s not even talk about the
dreams
let’s just focus on trying to graduate
high school trying to get to college
just worry about that first because that
was my biggest issue and at the time we
pretty much gave up on that neurologist
he told me you know I can’t help you
anymore
I’m not saying you to another
neurologist so my mom my grandma my
whole family we went out looking for
different ways to to kind of help me I
remember a time when my mom got so
excited because there was a monk
something some lady from Vietnam who
came over and what some needles in my
body you know I tried to do some
acupuncture that didn’t work okay and
then I also tried going vegetarian you
know how hard it is to go without a
burger for two years that was like a
bigger struggle self alright and let’s
talk about this one time um this one guy
I guess he’s called some Chinese doctor
he came and he squeezed like parts of my
body I got pretty uncomfortable and he
told me I had he’s you know he said in
Chinese I didn’t understand we started
shook my head said okay cool so he mixed
up this little magic potion of his it
was black
and you know it’s gonna be like some
kind of you know sweet drink like a
coca-cola I opened that pouch took a sip
and I spit that out let me tell you
that was as dark and bitter as ink
so high school was coming to a close and
luckily I I got into a couple of
colleges which I finally chose to come
to UCR but there was this um one
particular weekend two weeks before I
was about to graduate high school and
with all these frustration and
depression that has built up I called a
family friend of mine and I said hey we
need to talk I need something so the
next morning early morning 7:00 a.m. he
picked my ass up and took me to the
local restaurant it was called JJ cafe
and we sat down we had our little bowl
of um pork porridge and he said what’s
up man what’s going on what’s wrong I
told him hey Ken I failed
um I’m a failure he’s like what you mean
you failed man just like I told him I
did not accomplish anything I wanted to
accomplish these highschool dreams there
he a history there you know he’s these
aspirations I had these big dreams these
big goes they’re pretty much gone and I
lost man I lost you know and I was I was
waiting for something you know
motivational inspirational he looked at
me and he chuckled he left two minutes
later he looked at me and he said look
Brian you got this issue of yours and
whether or not you choose to accept or
not it stuck with you for the rest of
and you’re trying to go out there and
blame everybody for it blame your mom
blame my dad blame your family blame
yourself
blame the issue itself you busy being
hello bitch I was like dude I’m crying
but what he told me was that you got
something special all right and if
you’re able to take this situation this
little issue of yours and you’re able to
you’re able to overcome these little
struggles man you’re gonna go out there
tell your story inspire people what you
got is something powerful you just have
to learn to embrace it so there are
worse you know ignoring everything he
said because you know I was graduate
from high school you know and two weeks
later I graduate I walk the stage get my
mom dad hug and that was embarking on my
new journey at UCR this time I came in
with positivity looking for a new
beginning a fresh start but let’s be
realistic here my first few quarters it
was hell I still struggle like every
other college kid but then as these
obstacles start coming these these
challenges start coming my way and I
start you know handling them and kind of
persevering through them I started to
see what he meant there was so much of
these little beautiful lessons that I’ve
learned from each and every obstacle
each and every failure and I’m not sure
a couple examples with you because of
this vocal tics that I encounter when I
go order coffee I’m always cussing out
the cashier but because of that I’ve met
great friends who have become my big
brothers
I’ve worked on my social skills through
that I’ve been able to gain my
confidence slowly and surely music piano
specifically was always something that
got me through dark time
during the press rough times I just
pawned those headphones and play my
heart out because why it took me to an
escape where I was just able to let free
but then I started to use it and use it
to to to a way to inspire people I start
going out there reaching out to
organizations I performed all around
campus the belltower events wedding
ceremonies I even perform fetch the
Chancellor of UC our remember how I told
you I gained of fifty pounds look
doggone I got that six-pack now I’m
ready for summer but I struggle with my
weight for the longest time I I don’t
know how many diet programs workout
programs I try it got to a point where I
was trying diet pills these green tea
extract things that were proven to lose
to make you lose your belly I don’t know
I tried everything but what I realized
is you know if I love basketball and
basketball made me feel competitive it
made me feel powerful and I’m going out
there and I’m playing basketball in a
way that made me lose weight and gain
new network opportunities I even got
myself on an intramural team this arm
this quarter and I’ve I’m playing
tomorrow actually so you guys are free
come out come through and watch I’ll be
on the bench just remake Gatorade or
something but look although I have made
progress although I have stepped it up
I still struggle day in and day out
everybody out there I’m sure you guys
got young struggles all right you guys
got family problems wife problems yes
got job problems you guys are showing me
to get into medical school with a 2.0
medicals going any for me but look I
have no right to say I completely
understand how you feel cuz I don’t
you’re in your shoes I’m in my shoes but
we both dollars all goes here
and hopefully from my story from my
journey you can take that and apply to
what you’re going through whatever big
obstacle you’re going through I
encourage you to look deeper into the
the little true beauties that lighting
within the lessons learned the hidden
blessings even the fun jokes that you
know come along with the ride I
encourage you to all to who embrace your
struggle embrace your failures I want to
end with a quote from a very special
person of mine my grandpa
passed away three days ago and he always
told me as we’re sitting on the porch
waiting for my mom to come back from
work he said look Brian your money’s
your goal it’s your jewelry’s your rings
you know anybody can take that away from
you any time any moment a day somebody
can steal all that take that away from
you but you your hard work your
commitment your dedication the legacy
you leave the moments you put yourself
in ain’t nobody ever taking that away
from you and I’m standing right here
with the light shining down on me this
so look when times get rough when times
get rough and you feel like giving up
you feel like falling and never getting
back up you just gotta remember just
keep walking one foot in front of the
other keep walking
because you will get there [Applause]