my key message for you this evening is
it’s not its life it’s not the big
things in that that happened to is in
our lives that messes up it’s the little
things that happen day in and day out
which really do screw us over and stop
us from living the life that we actually
want so I want you to take 30 seconds
and I want you to look down to the left
and the right to the person sitting next
to you and I want you to look at their
shoes and I want you to visualize what
it would be like to walk in their shoes
for a day because at the end of the day
and the big thing that we need to
remember is that everybody has their own
journey to walk through in life and the
problem is at the moment is that we make
assumptions about people where actually
we have no idea what that person is
going through or what that third person
has just faced or what they’re about to
face and actually the reality is is that
we are stronger together and we need to
start supporting each other because
let’s be honest this thing called life
none of us are getting out of it alive
I’ve got three questions what I want to
ask you about your life because my talk
has all been structured about you so
once upon a time in a land not so far
away we were all very young children and
you had an idea of what you wanted to be
in your life and I want you to think
about that for a moment and then I want
you to bring you to modern day so it’s
the third of November 2017 it’s about
ten past six in the evening just imagine
that today is the last day you’re ever
going to be here what is the thought
that just went through your head do is a
person you want to call you you want to
speak to what is the thing that you wish
you’d done and then I want to take you
to the future
it’s your 80th birthday and you’re
sitting there and you’re really feeling
really smug with yourself and you’re
thinking I did that that was me I did
that I own that I controlled that that
was all down to me what is that thing
that makes you feel because the reality
is is that we’ve all got dreams hopes
and wishes but then life gets in the way
and happens and all of a sudden you wake
up at the age of 50 and think oh wow is
this it
Wow where did the last 25 years from our
life to go always it just me because I’m
fastly approaching 50 some of the
youngsters in the room are going what
the hell is she talking about there’s a
slide it’s going to come up and there’s
two numbers on the slide and I want some
people in the room will know what it
means because some of my colleagues are
here and they heard me talk about this
before but at the end of the speech I’m
going to bring you back to this and this
is really significant to my talk this
evening so I want to go back over here
when we were all children and with ten
years of age and we have this a vision
of what our life is going to be like you
know you’re gonna be really successful
in school you’re gonna be really
friendly everybody’s gonna get on with
you you’re gonna get to university or
you’re gonna have a really good job
you’re gonna meet the man of your dreams
you’re gonna have children you’re gonna
buy that house that you want you’re
gonna have that car I know some of these
are materialistic some of you might want
to go to Kathmandu and bill and help
rebuild it and then all of a sudden
you’re 40 you’re 30 40 50 60 70 and
you’re sitting there surrounded by your
family and you fuck backpacks to your
life well actually if I look back down
there that is what I call the Disney
lifetime line because it only really
happens in films because the reality is
is that we have what’s called life’s
oops moments and this isn’t a pity party
and I know there’s some people in the
room that I faced a lot more than I have
but I just want to spend the next couple
of minutes talking to you about my
life’s oops moments so at the age of
four my parents were publicans and we
lived in the back street purpose of
Liverpool my father was an extra oil
marine he was built like him out to
brick showers he was six foot four and
you did not mess with my dad but they’re
my parents liked to party it was the
early 70s and they used to go out party
and they used to leave me on my own and
I used to phone 999 and tell the police
quite happily that my parents had left
me at home and the key thing I remember
about that time was my mum saying to me
if you don’t stop calling them they’re
going to take you offers and then I was
eight and all of a sudden this boy that
I’ve been playing with for two days
certainly turned out to be my brother
who I didn’t even know existed
because my mum had been married before
and they had to explain to me how my mum
had been married before and this was my
brother I’m roughly around about that
time my parents decided to get divorced
cuz there was lots of things going on
and on top of that my body decided that
he was going to give me my period so at
the age of 8 I started having my periods
at the age of 11 I was really proud of
myself
I passed my 11 pressing school which was
a big thing to do in Manchester it meant
that I was going places I was destined
to go to grammar school I’ve been
bullied all my life I’ve been to 13
schools by the time I was 11 my parents
had moved around a lot and then all of a
sudden we were moving to Wales and we
moved here glorious country absolutely
love Wales but the education system at
the times thinked and it put me in the
remedial classes and I stayed in the
remedial classes for five years I was
destined for grammar school I then spent
the next 30 years of my life thinking I
was thick I haven’t got a good
relationship with my mother but that’s a
whole new TED talk all together and
actually when I went to look for my
father he didn’t recognise me and he
thought I was the girl that was there
too but the 18th birthday party so that
was an interesting conversation but my
far I then felt later found out that my
father was terminally ill and I got a
phone call and he died on Christmas Day
at the age of 52 but I was also
confronted with the fact that he’d
recently got married and they also had a
seven-year-old brother so I’ve gone from
being a single child to having two
brothers so it’s not all doom and gloom
because a once upon a time I work for a
company called Eastman Kodak and I was
offered a job in the digital department
but I turned it down because I couldn’t
see the future in digital
we just launched a camera we spent
millions of pounds or she’s a brand-new
camera I had I thought they were off
their ends lo and behold digital made
Kodak bankrupt and all along my life
because I had my first period when I was
8 I’ve had a lot of medical problems
so it’s categorically told I can never
give birth and so in 1997 I had an
operation where half of everything was
taken away not my womb but everything
else and then in 1998 I conceived a boy
and in nine in June 1999 I gave birth to
a little boy who slept all the way
through the pregnancy and then popped
out and turned out to be autistic so
I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life
fighting for my son to get the rights
that he deserves because nobody would
believe he was autistic until he was
about 15 and that really fueled me
because I was a single mom and I needed
to support him so I went self-employed
and I bought my first business I bought
a franchise and on the 3rd of August
2011 I was sitting in a pub in Ealing in
when the Real IRA let a car bomb off
outside I was blown backwards i damaged
my back and I couldn’t work the
franchise company so the franchise from
underneath me for a pound three months
later I later went bankrupt
that was my first bankruptcy my
accountants in the room I can’t look at
her she held my hand on my second
bankruptcy and but a month later a team
of people that I worked with in the city
were in New York on 9/11 and I knew they
were in the Twin Towers um I know the
kids today can’t understand this but it
took me five days to find out that these
people were still alive because there
was no social media at the time and
communications were on a complete
lockdown so for five days I thought I’d
lost five really good colleagues but
thank God they gone to a coffee shop
across the road ten minutes before the
planes hit and then seven years ago I
decided to follow my dream
and opened because I mean oh they tell
you don’t they follow your dream do what
you really what you really want and I’d
always wanted a bridal shop so I opened
a bridal shop sixty-five thousand pounds
later
and be known to me my son took really
ill and I’d already been bankrupt once
the bankruptcy didn’t bother me
so my accountant held my hands and we
went bankrupt twice and then I’m 48
years of age and I’ve never been married
but I’ve got friends in the room that
told me what you worried for marriage
isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be
and that’s just a taste of what my life
has been like and I’m sure that your
lives have been something similar and
I’m sure some of you haven’t gone
through half as much and I’m sure some
of you have gone through some really
tragic moments but the reality is is I
did not wake up one day and decide to
screw my life over life’s hoops lighter
oops oops life’s oops moments to me or
what I call life’s hand brakes they are
moments in their life that go whoa hang
on a minute
should you really be doing this you
really shouldn’t be on this path this
isn’t for you but you know what people
choose to ignore them and they plow
through them but if you go back to what
your dreams and wishes and hopes were
nobody’s going to come up to you and
hand it to you on a plate you have to
have the courage to go out there and get
and to go after your dreams and when I
made tea yes I’ve been bankrupt but I’ll
sit there and I think yes I did that and
what stops as is fear and fear this to
acronyms for fear false evidence
appearing real which I don’t like or
feel excited and ready which I really do
like and I also heard another one this
morning and I do apologize for the
language it was everything and run
[Laughter]
which really appealed to me about five
to six is evening well no when all the
speakers were going oh my god I forgot
what I was going to say because the
reality is to me the two things that
mess with our lives every single day and
I am about to drop the f-bomb again and
it’s not what you think it is
and it’s something that you tell
yourself every single day and the
problem is is it’s the biggest lie that
you tell yourself and you believe it you
believe this thing and he stops you dead
in your tracks and it stops you from
doing what you want to do and your life
becomes a routine hello it’s a third of
November
who’s with me when I say where did this
year go hmm never mind this year where
do we get to one of those figures where
did this year go because the word is I’m
fine no you’re not fine I’m sick stone
overweight I’m not fine you know I’m
hurting my health you’re in a loveless
marriage that’s not fine or your best
friend – spoken to you like you’re a
pile of poo that’s not fine or you’re
doing a job that you really don’t like
that’s not fine or you’ve got more month
than money that is not fine so stop
telling yourself you’re fine because the
person that you are hurting the most is
you because if you are fine you won’t do
anything about it
and the second thing that’s really
screwing us over is the real six inches
in our lives not a man’s six inches the
real six inches right and it’s the
distance between this and this and if
you are in your head you are behind
enemy lines and you need to get out
quickly because if I was to come along
and put a broadcast button on the side
of your head and we broadcast what was
going on inside your head at the moment
you would be locked up for your own
safety never mind the other hundred and
ten people in this room so you’re not
fine and the forts that are going on
your head are just circular forts their
never-ending it’s a bit like the m25 you
I’ve been on that it’s like he do you
get on and you get off at your own will
you take your life in your own hands
because what happens is worry your fear
sets in and before you know it you are
paralyzed and you stop doing stuff and
it’s the third of November and you’re
thinking where’s this year gone so I ask
you what do you want from your life what
is it that you want to do when we were
over here and you were that child I
wanted to be an air hostess and the
reality of today what do you think that
you want to do what is it that you want
to achieve by the end of the shoe and
then you’re 18 what do you want to be
known for and there is nothing wrong
we’ve just been known as having that
massive family and looking after them
you don’t have to go out and change the
world just looking after your family is
a lot more than some other people are
doing right at this moment in time
because the fact is is that nobody is
going to give you your dreams I’ve said
this already nobody’s going to come and
hand it to you on a plate you have got
to do something called activation energy
right and you are in control of this you
have this amazing fort do that I could
be up there what’s she talking about
I could be doing better than Earth you
have this amazing fort and you would
literally have five four three two one
seconds before your brain goes oh no you
don’t be doing that
oh remember when you did that last time
oh yes and last time you did that last
time you spent that much money you put
it all on your credit card you went
bankrupt because the real so what
happens is is we talk ourselves out of
it instantly so something I use all the
time is I say to myself it’s simple it’s
easy it’s firm because it reprograms the
brain and it stops you from being or
don’t want to do that not going anywhere
near that and I might say to myself it’s
simple it’s easy and it’s fun and I
might say that to myself 10,000 times in
one day and that’s enabled me to get
actually get our bed and get dressed
because the reality is are some days I
just do want to stay in bed and any ice
cream and watch Jeremy Kyle so am i
leaving fort with you this evening is
these figures four one six zero let’s
start the bottom and work up you know a
bit like the picture how are we in hands
coming through four one six zero that is
the number of weeks that you will live
if you hit your 80th birthday my dad
lived for two thousand seven hundred and
four weeks because he died at the age of
fifty two he known that he never got to
that figure you’ve only got four
thousand one hundred and sixty weeks to
do this and the big number at the top
one thousand all my citizens in the room
I’m in marketing it’s why I don’t do
maths one in four hundred trillion now
that’s a massive number and there’s been
a lot of research done in this recently
for in 100 trillion in order for you to
be sitting here listening to me with the
DNA that you’ve got with the color of
eyes and the color of your hair to be
born on this birth date that you’re born
in to the parents that you’re born in
that’s the equation one in four hundred
trillion you have got more chance of
winning the National Lottery than you
ever sitting here today and there’s 7.2
billion people in this earth
you’ve got important stuff to be getting
on with you are here for a reason
do not tell yourself that you are
useless or you are no good you’ve got
stuff to do and I challenge you to get
on and do it
my name’s Charmaine Robinson it’s been
my absolute pleasure to talk to you this
evening thank you
you
it’s not its life it’s not the big
things in that that happened to is in
our lives that messes up it’s the little
things that happen day in and day out
which really do screw us over and stop
us from living the life that we actually
want so I want you to take 30 seconds
and I want you to look down to the left
and the right to the person sitting next
to you and I want you to look at their
shoes and I want you to visualize what
it would be like to walk in their shoes
for a day because at the end of the day
and the big thing that we need to
remember is that everybody has their own
journey to walk through in life and the
problem is at the moment is that we make
assumptions about people where actually
we have no idea what that person is
going through or what that third person
has just faced or what they’re about to
face and actually the reality is is that
we are stronger together and we need to
start supporting each other because
let’s be honest this thing called life
none of us are getting out of it alive
I’ve got three questions what I want to
ask you about your life because my talk
has all been structured about you so
once upon a time in a land not so far
away we were all very young children and
you had an idea of what you wanted to be
in your life and I want you to think
about that for a moment and then I want
you to bring you to modern day so it’s
the third of November 2017 it’s about
ten past six in the evening just imagine
that today is the last day you’re ever
going to be here what is the thought
that just went through your head do is a
person you want to call you you want to
speak to what is the thing that you wish
you’d done and then I want to take you
to the future
it’s your 80th birthday and you’re
sitting there and you’re really feeling
really smug with yourself and you’re
thinking I did that that was me I did
that I own that I controlled that that
was all down to me what is that thing
that makes you feel because the reality
is is that we’ve all got dreams hopes
and wishes but then life gets in the way
and happens and all of a sudden you wake
up at the age of 50 and think oh wow is
this it
Wow where did the last 25 years from our
life to go always it just me because I’m
fastly approaching 50 some of the
youngsters in the room are going what
the hell is she talking about there’s a
slide it’s going to come up and there’s
two numbers on the slide and I want some
people in the room will know what it
means because some of my colleagues are
here and they heard me talk about this
before but at the end of the speech I’m
going to bring you back to this and this
is really significant to my talk this
evening so I want to go back over here
when we were all children and with ten
years of age and we have this a vision
of what our life is going to be like you
know you’re gonna be really successful
in school you’re gonna be really
friendly everybody’s gonna get on with
you you’re gonna get to university or
you’re gonna have a really good job
you’re gonna meet the man of your dreams
you’re gonna have children you’re gonna
buy that house that you want you’re
gonna have that car I know some of these
are materialistic some of you might want
to go to Kathmandu and bill and help
rebuild it and then all of a sudden
you’re 40 you’re 30 40 50 60 70 and
you’re sitting there surrounded by your
family and you fuck backpacks to your
life well actually if I look back down
there that is what I call the Disney
lifetime line because it only really
happens in films because the reality is
is that we have what’s called life’s
oops moments and this isn’t a pity party
and I know there’s some people in the
room that I faced a lot more than I have
but I just want to spend the next couple
of minutes talking to you about my
life’s oops moments so at the age of
four my parents were publicans and we
lived in the back street purpose of
Liverpool my father was an extra oil
marine he was built like him out to
brick showers he was six foot four and
you did not mess with my dad but they’re
my parents liked to party it was the
early 70s and they used to go out party
and they used to leave me on my own and
I used to phone 999 and tell the police
quite happily that my parents had left
me at home and the key thing I remember
about that time was my mum saying to me
if you don’t stop calling them they’re
going to take you offers and then I was
eight and all of a sudden this boy that
I’ve been playing with for two days
certainly turned out to be my brother
who I didn’t even know existed
because my mum had been married before
and they had to explain to me how my mum
had been married before and this was my
brother I’m roughly around about that
time my parents decided to get divorced
cuz there was lots of things going on
and on top of that my body decided that
he was going to give me my period so at
the age of 8 I started having my periods
at the age of 11 I was really proud of
myself
I passed my 11 pressing school which was
a big thing to do in Manchester it meant
that I was going places I was destined
to go to grammar school I’ve been
bullied all my life I’ve been to 13
schools by the time I was 11 my parents
had moved around a lot and then all of a
sudden we were moving to Wales and we
moved here glorious country absolutely
love Wales but the education system at
the times thinked and it put me in the
remedial classes and I stayed in the
remedial classes for five years I was
destined for grammar school I then spent
the next 30 years of my life thinking I
was thick I haven’t got a good
relationship with my mother but that’s a
whole new TED talk all together and
actually when I went to look for my
father he didn’t recognise me and he
thought I was the girl that was there
too but the 18th birthday party so that
was an interesting conversation but my
far I then felt later found out that my
father was terminally ill and I got a
phone call and he died on Christmas Day
at the age of 52 but I was also
confronted with the fact that he’d
recently got married and they also had a
seven-year-old brother so I’ve gone from
being a single child to having two
brothers so it’s not all doom and gloom
because a once upon a time I work for a
company called Eastman Kodak and I was
offered a job in the digital department
but I turned it down because I couldn’t
see the future in digital
we just launched a camera we spent
millions of pounds or she’s a brand-new
camera I had I thought they were off
their ends lo and behold digital made
Kodak bankrupt and all along my life
because I had my first period when I was
8 I’ve had a lot of medical problems
so it’s categorically told I can never
give birth and so in 1997 I had an
operation where half of everything was
taken away not my womb but everything
else and then in 1998 I conceived a boy
and in nine in June 1999 I gave birth to
a little boy who slept all the way
through the pregnancy and then popped
out and turned out to be autistic so
I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life
fighting for my son to get the rights
that he deserves because nobody would
believe he was autistic until he was
about 15 and that really fueled me
because I was a single mom and I needed
to support him so I went self-employed
and I bought my first business I bought
a franchise and on the 3rd of August
2011 I was sitting in a pub in Ealing in
when the Real IRA let a car bomb off
outside I was blown backwards i damaged
my back and I couldn’t work the
franchise company so the franchise from
underneath me for a pound three months
later I later went bankrupt
that was my first bankruptcy my
accountants in the room I can’t look at
her she held my hand on my second
bankruptcy and but a month later a team
of people that I worked with in the city
were in New York on 9/11 and I knew they
were in the Twin Towers um I know the
kids today can’t understand this but it
took me five days to find out that these
people were still alive because there
was no social media at the time and
communications were on a complete
lockdown so for five days I thought I’d
lost five really good colleagues but
thank God they gone to a coffee shop
across the road ten minutes before the
planes hit and then seven years ago I
decided to follow my dream
and opened because I mean oh they tell
you don’t they follow your dream do what
you really what you really want and I’d
always wanted a bridal shop so I opened
a bridal shop sixty-five thousand pounds
later
and be known to me my son took really
ill and I’d already been bankrupt once
the bankruptcy didn’t bother me
so my accountant held my hands and we
went bankrupt twice and then I’m 48
years of age and I’ve never been married
but I’ve got friends in the room that
told me what you worried for marriage
isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be
and that’s just a taste of what my life
has been like and I’m sure that your
lives have been something similar and
I’m sure some of you haven’t gone
through half as much and I’m sure some
of you have gone through some really
tragic moments but the reality is is I
did not wake up one day and decide to
screw my life over life’s hoops lighter
oops oops life’s oops moments to me or
what I call life’s hand brakes they are
moments in their life that go whoa hang
on a minute
should you really be doing this you
really shouldn’t be on this path this
isn’t for you but you know what people
choose to ignore them and they plow
through them but if you go back to what
your dreams and wishes and hopes were
nobody’s going to come up to you and
hand it to you on a plate you have to
have the courage to go out there and get
and to go after your dreams and when I
made tea yes I’ve been bankrupt but I’ll
sit there and I think yes I did that and
what stops as is fear and fear this to
acronyms for fear false evidence
appearing real which I don’t like or
feel excited and ready which I really do
like and I also heard another one this
morning and I do apologize for the
language it was everything and run
[Laughter]
which really appealed to me about five
to six is evening well no when all the
speakers were going oh my god I forgot
what I was going to say because the
reality is to me the two things that
mess with our lives every single day and
I am about to drop the f-bomb again and
it’s not what you think it is
and it’s something that you tell
yourself every single day and the
problem is is it’s the biggest lie that
you tell yourself and you believe it you
believe this thing and he stops you dead
in your tracks and it stops you from
doing what you want to do and your life
becomes a routine hello it’s a third of
November
who’s with me when I say where did this
year go hmm never mind this year where
do we get to one of those figures where
did this year go because the word is I’m
fine no you’re not fine I’m sick stone
overweight I’m not fine you know I’m
hurting my health you’re in a loveless
marriage that’s not fine or your best
friend – spoken to you like you’re a
pile of poo that’s not fine or you’re
doing a job that you really don’t like
that’s not fine or you’ve got more month
than money that is not fine so stop
telling yourself you’re fine because the
person that you are hurting the most is
you because if you are fine you won’t do
anything about it
and the second thing that’s really
screwing us over is the real six inches
in our lives not a man’s six inches the
real six inches right and it’s the
distance between this and this and if
you are in your head you are behind
enemy lines and you need to get out
quickly because if I was to come along
and put a broadcast button on the side
of your head and we broadcast what was
going on inside your head at the moment
you would be locked up for your own
safety never mind the other hundred and
ten people in this room so you’re not
fine and the forts that are going on
your head are just circular forts their
never-ending it’s a bit like the m25 you
I’ve been on that it’s like he do you
get on and you get off at your own will
you take your life in your own hands
because what happens is worry your fear
sets in and before you know it you are
paralyzed and you stop doing stuff and
it’s the third of November and you’re
thinking where’s this year gone so I ask
you what do you want from your life what
is it that you want to do when we were
over here and you were that child I
wanted to be an air hostess and the
reality of today what do you think that
you want to do what is it that you want
to achieve by the end of the shoe and
then you’re 18 what do you want to be
known for and there is nothing wrong
we’ve just been known as having that
massive family and looking after them
you don’t have to go out and change the
world just looking after your family is
a lot more than some other people are
doing right at this moment in time
because the fact is is that nobody is
going to give you your dreams I’ve said
this already nobody’s going to come and
hand it to you on a plate you have got
to do something called activation energy
right and you are in control of this you
have this amazing fort do that I could
be up there what’s she talking about
I could be doing better than Earth you
have this amazing fort and you would
literally have five four three two one
seconds before your brain goes oh no you
don’t be doing that
oh remember when you did that last time
oh yes and last time you did that last
time you spent that much money you put
it all on your credit card you went
bankrupt because the real so what
happens is is we talk ourselves out of
it instantly so something I use all the
time is I say to myself it’s simple it’s
easy it’s firm because it reprograms the
brain and it stops you from being or
don’t want to do that not going anywhere
near that and I might say to myself it’s
simple it’s easy and it’s fun and I
might say that to myself 10,000 times in
one day and that’s enabled me to get
actually get our bed and get dressed
because the reality is are some days I
just do want to stay in bed and any ice
cream and watch Jeremy Kyle so am i
leaving fort with you this evening is
these figures four one six zero let’s
start the bottom and work up you know a
bit like the picture how are we in hands
coming through four one six zero that is
the number of weeks that you will live
if you hit your 80th birthday my dad
lived for two thousand seven hundred and
four weeks because he died at the age of
fifty two he known that he never got to
that figure you’ve only got four
thousand one hundred and sixty weeks to
do this and the big number at the top
one thousand all my citizens in the room
I’m in marketing it’s why I don’t do
maths one in four hundred trillion now
that’s a massive number and there’s been
a lot of research done in this recently
for in 100 trillion in order for you to
be sitting here listening to me with the
DNA that you’ve got with the color of
eyes and the color of your hair to be
born on this birth date that you’re born
in to the parents that you’re born in
that’s the equation one in four hundred
trillion you have got more chance of
winning the National Lottery than you
ever sitting here today and there’s 7.2
billion people in this earth
you’ve got important stuff to be getting
on with you are here for a reason
do not tell yourself that you are
useless or you are no good you’ve got
stuff to do and I challenge you to get
on and do it
my name’s Charmaine Robinson it’s been
my absolute pleasure to talk to you this
evening thank you
you
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