today I want to talk about life love and
ramen you know I was raised in a family
of high achievers Ivy Leaguers
incredibly successful people and I was
constantly reminded that I wasn’t one of
them
I struggled in school I couldn’t sit
still I got kicked out of Cub Scouts you
know I look back on that time and I try
to remember exactly when did things
start to maybe turn around a little bit
for me and I remember my first part-time
job my friend Dean called me up on the
phone he said hey I just got a job as
the dishwasher in the new Japanese
restaurant in town do you want to do one
in well it paid five dollars an hour off
the books and in 1978 that was a lot of
money
I remember getting on my bike after
school for the first day of work and I
rode over and I got to the restaurant I
remember opening the door it was dark in
there there was shamisen music playing
on the loudspeakers they were waitresses
wearing finely embroidered kimono and
the smells oh they were intoxicating you
know it didn’t take me long working in
this job to realize that I finally
belong somewhere of course I didn’t work
here that long I was just a high school
kid but when it came time to choose
college I decided I would study Japanese
I found a program at the University of
Colorado in Boulder and I graduated with
a degree in it and upon graduation I
decided well the logical thing would be
to move to Japan and I did you know when
I got there it was everything I hoped it
would be it was exciting and mysterious
and beautiful but it was an insular
place and I had a little bit of
difficulty finding out my place
the good news is I met my first wife
Tommy there and she began to help me
demystify Japan and slowly but surely I
began to fit in I made some friends I
found some things I like to do of course
at this moment Tommy got a job in
Mountain View California not too far
from here and I was at a crossroads I
had finally found my way it was finally
enjoying Japan but my girl was headed
off to California well of course I chose
the girl and I bid Japan farewell I
vowed I would be back and I moved to
California my job was to sell computer
components and to this day I don’t know
what that is I was wearing an
ill-fitting suit I was on the telephone
trying to sell s Rams and D Rams and I
was terrible at it I remember calling up
my dad and I said hey Dad I just I just
can’t find my way this is just not the
right thing and he said well hey what do
you think you want to do well I said you
know I just keep coming up with
something I got to do something with
food I love food well he said you know
when your mom and I just had a
conversation we think you should go to
culinary school I had the same idea so
my parents and they were great parents
they supported me in going to school I
packed up my car in Mountain View and I
drove to Hyde Park to attend the
Culinary Institute of America well this
time she followed me and we went back to
New York I graduated and we married I
started my new career in cooking and we
had a son and then after a little time
we were ready for the next child she was
pregnant with our next child and you
know things for the first time in my
life seemed to be going right I really
enjoyed this new job I love it now as
much as I loved it
and I had a family it was wonderful and
then Tommy got sick she came home on a
Tuesday with a fever by Thursday we were
in the hospital and by Saturday she died
my whole world came crashing down around
me I remember going back home after that
and kneeling down next to my
two-year-old and just wondering what the
heck am I gonna do you know up until
this point in my life I had always been
a follower
nobody had big expectations for me and
you know when you live a life where
people don’t have big expectations for
you it’s easy to not have expectations
for yourself and I had always lived that
way but you know I knew things were
different now
it was time for me to be a leader I
looked at that little boy who had just
lost his mother and I thought he can’t
lose his father too of course I didn’t
become a leader right away it took me a
few years of grieving I started the date
again at this time I used to visit Japan
because you know when Tommy died I not
only lost my partner but you know I lost
my connection to Japan and and that was
very painful for me on one of these
trips I went on a blind date and I fell
in love and in my most impetuous of ways
I was married in three months and I’m
still married 15 and a half years later
we moved on and she came to New York
when she had a little boy and now I had
a little boy and together we were a
family of four and here we are living in
New York and you would think everything
was perfect but I knew there was more I
had this new family and I felt like
there was something around the corner
that I couldn’t see on a trip to Tokyo
with my new family
I was sitting under a cherry blossom
tree it was that time of year where the
cherry blossoms are in bloom everywhere
and in Japanese culture the cherry
blossom signifies a fleetingness of life
one minute they are big and gorgeous and
so beautiful and the next second they’re
just gone well that’s how I was feeling
I had just turned 40 and I knew I wanted
to do something big I just didn’t know
what it was and at that moment I had an
epiphany it’s time to come back it’s
time to come back to Japan and I ran
home and I said Motty we’re moving to
Japan and we went back to New York and
we packed up all our bags and we moved
to Tokyo we were in Tokyo for several
years and things were going great my
wife had an awesome job and she was
doing really well I was a house husband
raising the kids and I’m really good at
that and I was enjoying it but you know
I was waking up in the morning drinking
coffee and listening to NPR I was
reading the New York Times I was
starting to stream episodes of Grey’s
I knew I needed to change
you know mati came home one day and she
looked at me and she said you know I’m
you need a project she did my wife’s
great so I’m not telling you what to do
and if you want to keep watching Grey’s
Anatomy that’s okay but I think it’s
time to do something new so we talked
and we talked then one day she said you
need to open a ramen shop now this was
in the mid-2000s when the ramen boom in
Tokyo was just in raging Jib everywhere
you looked there were new ramen shops
opening it was on television and
magazines and I was obsessed we would go
from shop to shop to shop and I would
lean over the counter and wonder how are
they making the ramen I didn’t it was
much different than the type of cooking
I had done and she knew that she also
said you know the hook is there are no
white dudes making ramen in Tokyo right
now so after hemming and hawing a little
bit
I agreed this would be a good project
and a funny thing happened as I began
the project I began to see how all the
things I had been learning over the
years came together my knowledge of
Japanese culture and language really
helped me to make friends with my
neighbors to find the right realtor to
search out good purveyors so I could
find the right food my knowledge of
cooking after working in all these great
restaurants in New York enabled me to
set up a kitchen that really worked and
trained people properly even in Japanese
and at that point I looked at my wife
and I said you know we’re gonna have the
best ramen shop in Tokyo and she told me
I was crazy but I said you know what if
we’re gonna go to all this trouble to
open a ramen shop in Tokyo it’s gonna be
the best well we started off quietly but
the buzz began to build most people
would come in to check out the weird
white guy making ramen but you know what
most of them left fans after several
years we were a hot spot two to three
hour Waits
the door I was on television and
magazines and newspaper articles it was
fabulous and I had realized I finally
arrived I was living in my beloved Japan
on my own terms
I was making pots of Pete’s coffee in
the morning and listening to the
Grateful Dead and that was making
noodles and dancing and having a great
time and doing it all in Japanese it
couldn’t be better but that feeling of
restlessness came back to me that desire
for another adventure friends from New
York started whispering in my ear come
back to New York open a ramen shop I got
a great book deal that required my
attention in the States so reluctantly
and with another vow of I’ll be back and
I know I will we packed up in Tokyo and
we moved to New York coming back to New
York was like having another shoe on the
on the other foot because New Yorkers
hate when Outsiders come in and tell
them they’re gonna show them what’s what
so I was cautious and I kept my head
down didn’t brag or boast about knowing
more about ramen than anybody else and
just ask people to give me a chance I
worked really hard and when the ramen
shop opened it was open to a lot of
fanfare I got two stars in the New York
Times which was a dream I had never
allowed myself to even imagine it was
awesome my book started to sell really
well and something happened from this
book I started getting lots of
correspondence from people people
started calling me and writing me and
saying you’ve inspired me I just turned
40 and I quit my job and I did this
project I’ve always dreamed of doing or
I can’t quit my job but seeing what you
were able to do makes me feel better
about my position and I’m really working
on some ideas to move forward well I
thought to myself how did this black
sheep of the family
inspire people was truly amazing and I
reflected how did I get here
you know I realized that in my life
whether I was at an absolute low or an
incredible high I’ve always been very
good at taking responsibility for where
I am in my life I’ve always seen life as
a series of choices and I always know
that whether things are great but I want
more or things are bad and I need to get
out of that situation I simply need to
make a choice and I can move forward it
served me very well so before I leave
today I ask you what’s the choice that
you’ve been waiting and are you gonna
make the choice today thank you so very
much [Applause]
ramen you know I was raised in a family
of high achievers Ivy Leaguers
incredibly successful people and I was
constantly reminded that I wasn’t one of
them
I struggled in school I couldn’t sit
still I got kicked out of Cub Scouts you
know I look back on that time and I try
to remember exactly when did things
start to maybe turn around a little bit
for me and I remember my first part-time
job my friend Dean called me up on the
phone he said hey I just got a job as
the dishwasher in the new Japanese
restaurant in town do you want to do one
in well it paid five dollars an hour off
the books and in 1978 that was a lot of
money
I remember getting on my bike after
school for the first day of work and I
rode over and I got to the restaurant I
remember opening the door it was dark in
there there was shamisen music playing
on the loudspeakers they were waitresses
wearing finely embroidered kimono and
the smells oh they were intoxicating you
know it didn’t take me long working in
this job to realize that I finally
belong somewhere of course I didn’t work
here that long I was just a high school
kid but when it came time to choose
college I decided I would study Japanese
I found a program at the University of
Colorado in Boulder and I graduated with
a degree in it and upon graduation I
decided well the logical thing would be
to move to Japan and I did you know when
I got there it was everything I hoped it
would be it was exciting and mysterious
and beautiful but it was an insular
place and I had a little bit of
difficulty finding out my place
the good news is I met my first wife
Tommy there and she began to help me
demystify Japan and slowly but surely I
began to fit in I made some friends I
found some things I like to do of course
at this moment Tommy got a job in
Mountain View California not too far
from here and I was at a crossroads I
had finally found my way it was finally
enjoying Japan but my girl was headed
off to California well of course I chose
the girl and I bid Japan farewell I
vowed I would be back and I moved to
California my job was to sell computer
components and to this day I don’t know
what that is I was wearing an
ill-fitting suit I was on the telephone
trying to sell s Rams and D Rams and I
was terrible at it I remember calling up
my dad and I said hey Dad I just I just
can’t find my way this is just not the
right thing and he said well hey what do
you think you want to do well I said you
know I just keep coming up with
something I got to do something with
food I love food well he said you know
when your mom and I just had a
conversation we think you should go to
culinary school I had the same idea so
my parents and they were great parents
they supported me in going to school I
packed up my car in Mountain View and I
drove to Hyde Park to attend the
Culinary Institute of America well this
time she followed me and we went back to
New York I graduated and we married I
started my new career in cooking and we
had a son and then after a little time
we were ready for the next child she was
pregnant with our next child and you
know things for the first time in my
life seemed to be going right I really
enjoyed this new job I love it now as
much as I loved it
and I had a family it was wonderful and
then Tommy got sick she came home on a
Tuesday with a fever by Thursday we were
in the hospital and by Saturday she died
my whole world came crashing down around
me I remember going back home after that
and kneeling down next to my
two-year-old and just wondering what the
heck am I gonna do you know up until
this point in my life I had always been
a follower
nobody had big expectations for me and
you know when you live a life where
people don’t have big expectations for
you it’s easy to not have expectations
for yourself and I had always lived that
way but you know I knew things were
different now
it was time for me to be a leader I
looked at that little boy who had just
lost his mother and I thought he can’t
lose his father too of course I didn’t
become a leader right away it took me a
few years of grieving I started the date
again at this time I used to visit Japan
because you know when Tommy died I not
only lost my partner but you know I lost
my connection to Japan and and that was
very painful for me on one of these
trips I went on a blind date and I fell
in love and in my most impetuous of ways
I was married in three months and I’m
still married 15 and a half years later
we moved on and she came to New York
when she had a little boy and now I had
a little boy and together we were a
family of four and here we are living in
New York and you would think everything
was perfect but I knew there was more I
had this new family and I felt like
there was something around the corner
that I couldn’t see on a trip to Tokyo
with my new family
I was sitting under a cherry blossom
tree it was that time of year where the
cherry blossoms are in bloom everywhere
and in Japanese culture the cherry
blossom signifies a fleetingness of life
one minute they are big and gorgeous and
so beautiful and the next second they’re
just gone well that’s how I was feeling
I had just turned 40 and I knew I wanted
to do something big I just didn’t know
what it was and at that moment I had an
epiphany it’s time to come back it’s
time to come back to Japan and I ran
home and I said Motty we’re moving to
Japan and we went back to New York and
we packed up all our bags and we moved
to Tokyo we were in Tokyo for several
years and things were going great my
wife had an awesome job and she was
doing really well I was a house husband
raising the kids and I’m really good at
that and I was enjoying it but you know
I was waking up in the morning drinking
coffee and listening to NPR I was
reading the New York Times I was
starting to stream episodes of Grey’s
I knew I needed to change
you know mati came home one day and she
looked at me and she said you know I’m
you need a project she did my wife’s
great so I’m not telling you what to do
and if you want to keep watching Grey’s
Anatomy that’s okay but I think it’s
time to do something new so we talked
and we talked then one day she said you
need to open a ramen shop now this was
in the mid-2000s when the ramen boom in
Tokyo was just in raging Jib everywhere
you looked there were new ramen shops
opening it was on television and
magazines and I was obsessed we would go
from shop to shop to shop and I would
lean over the counter and wonder how are
they making the ramen I didn’t it was
much different than the type of cooking
I had done and she knew that she also
said you know the hook is there are no
white dudes making ramen in Tokyo right
now so after hemming and hawing a little
bit
I agreed this would be a good project
and a funny thing happened as I began
the project I began to see how all the
things I had been learning over the
years came together my knowledge of
Japanese culture and language really
helped me to make friends with my
neighbors to find the right realtor to
search out good purveyors so I could
find the right food my knowledge of
cooking after working in all these great
restaurants in New York enabled me to
set up a kitchen that really worked and
trained people properly even in Japanese
and at that point I looked at my wife
and I said you know we’re gonna have the
best ramen shop in Tokyo and she told me
I was crazy but I said you know what if
we’re gonna go to all this trouble to
open a ramen shop in Tokyo it’s gonna be
the best well we started off quietly but
the buzz began to build most people
would come in to check out the weird
white guy making ramen but you know what
most of them left fans after several
years we were a hot spot two to three
hour Waits
the door I was on television and
magazines and newspaper articles it was
fabulous and I had realized I finally
arrived I was living in my beloved Japan
on my own terms
I was making pots of Pete’s coffee in
the morning and listening to the
Grateful Dead and that was making
noodles and dancing and having a great
time and doing it all in Japanese it
couldn’t be better but that feeling of
restlessness came back to me that desire
for another adventure friends from New
York started whispering in my ear come
back to New York open a ramen shop I got
a great book deal that required my
attention in the States so reluctantly
and with another vow of I’ll be back and
I know I will we packed up in Tokyo and
we moved to New York coming back to New
York was like having another shoe on the
on the other foot because New Yorkers
hate when Outsiders come in and tell
them they’re gonna show them what’s what
so I was cautious and I kept my head
down didn’t brag or boast about knowing
more about ramen than anybody else and
just ask people to give me a chance I
worked really hard and when the ramen
shop opened it was open to a lot of
fanfare I got two stars in the New York
Times which was a dream I had never
allowed myself to even imagine it was
awesome my book started to sell really
well and something happened from this
book I started getting lots of
correspondence from people people
started calling me and writing me and
saying you’ve inspired me I just turned
40 and I quit my job and I did this
project I’ve always dreamed of doing or
I can’t quit my job but seeing what you
were able to do makes me feel better
about my position and I’m really working
on some ideas to move forward well I
thought to myself how did this black
sheep of the family
inspire people was truly amazing and I
reflected how did I get here
you know I realized that in my life
whether I was at an absolute low or an
incredible high I’ve always been very
good at taking responsibility for where
I am in my life I’ve always seen life as
a series of choices and I always know
that whether things are great but I want
more or things are bad and I need to get
out of that situation I simply need to
make a choice and I can move forward it
served me very well so before I leave
today I ask you what’s the choice that
you’ve been waiting and are you gonna
make the choice today thank you so very
much [Applause]
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