so I’m 17 years old and what I want to
talk to you guys about today is the idea
of self-confidence and now you might be
thinking wait hold on a second
teenagers aren’t supposed to have that
and you’re right many of us don’t even
adults but what I want to share with you
today is how I develop self-confidence
in the midst of being a teenager and the
obstacles I overcame but first I want to
share with you my story I was born into
a Canadian home with two adoptive
brothers and both my parents and my
early childhood years there’s a lot of
strife in my home between my parents
they often fought against each other and
ended up getting divorced when I was
four years old
both my parents got remarried after this
time but as my older brothers and my
baby sister and myself grew up there was
still a lot of strife in our house my
brothers often fought with my mother
there’s a lot of issues between drugs
drug dealing and other problems would
throw their school I became a very
closed off individual with a lot of
insecurities ten years after my mom and
stepdads wedding my stepdad was
diagnosed with stage four inoperable
brain cancer he had two tumors the size
of fists in his head and the radiation
treatment suggested by the doctors posed
a major risk of further brain damage my
stepdad Greg ended up passing away this
last January six months after his
diagnosis so why do I share with you my
story and what does it got to do with
self confidence well know that I don’t
tell you my story as a means of a pity
party I don’t need that
it’s simply my story what I want to
share with you is how I developed
self-confidence in the midst of my life
and through my turmoil was in middle
school when I was the most insecure of
myself and just my image consumed me I
was obsessed with my popularity and
likeability it was determined to build
up my confidence off of what other
people thought of me the irony in it was
was that it was completely false but
when I was 14 I had an epiphany of the
obstacle I had created in front of me
and how I could change it and that’s
what I want to share with you today the
five steps I took to develop
self-confidence so what does it look
like to be confident well first
find yourself and this looks differently
for a lot of different people but it’s a
critical aspect in developing any sort
of confidence for yourself after all how
can you play place confidence in you if
you don’t know who you truly are so
spend time alone and thought figure out
what it is that you like and dislike
what is it that you’re passionate about
what do you want to do and discover your
talents and yes you have talents don’t
say that you don’t you simply need to
find them if you haven’t done that
already and this looks differently for
different people for myself I found my
talents in the midst of our schools
musical he was the Wizard of Oz I was
super hesitant of trying out for it at
first but I ended up auditioning and
landed one of the lead roles as ten men
then I went and sang and danced on a
stage and he was super manly but the
thing that it did was it planted a seed
of confidence in me that showed me that
I was good at something
and that I could do something you need
to find yourself as well because you
need to stay true to yourself figure out
what it is that you will accept as right
and wrong and establish the barriers
around you of what you will do and what
you won’t do I remember sneaking out to
a party when I was younger and this is
one of those parties that you don’t
really want your parents to find out hi
mom and because there is a ton of drugs
and alcohol there that I really could
have gotten involved with and I didn’t
possess the self confidence that I
needed to establish the barriers around
me of what I would and wouldn’t do and
now I never got involved with anything
there well I actually got busted for it
at like 11 o’clock at night walking down
the street with my mom pulling over in a
minivan and laying down on the whore and
in front of me and a big group people
and he was super embarrassing but the
point is that you need to stay true to
yourself so above all this though
develop a self-respect for you and don’t
be so harsh on yourself of the
expectations that you lie out in front
of you so what next
well don’t care what other people think
of you this is by far one of the hardest
aspects to actually fulfill
and now note that that’s not this isn’t
apathy this isn’t the same as not having
any regards for anyone’s thoughts I’m
also not saying that you should go out
in public without any clothes on because
you really don’t care what people think
of you but because there’s always a
balance and a certain quality as to how
much we think or care about what other
people think of us but there is a
balance so imagine if you’re running a
race around a track
would you stop in the middle of that
track and in the middle of the race
because of what some person said about
you on the sidelines no because they’re
not running your race the funny thing is
we often think more about what other
people are thinking of us or what we
perceive others to think of us than what
other people are actually thinking of us
you need to know as well that your story
doesn’t define you my story doesn’t
define me my past is my past but it does
not determine my future you guys ever
heard of these so called beauty
magazines like L or Men’s Fitness
women’s world women’s fitness
Cosmopolitan the funny thing about these
magazines is that they’re much less
beauty magazines and a lot more like
product catalogs so if you take a look
at this picture this is an Elle magazine
where the top is the regular magazine
and the bottom is the same magazine with
all the ads taken out of it this is
another picture with a Cosmopolitan
magazine and what these magazines do is
they intentionally get you to feel worse
about yourself so that you will buy
their products and it’s how they make
their money the damaging aspect of this
is that these magazines are chock full
of images with unrealistic body sizes
their models are doused with
professional makeup and all their
pictures are photoshopped there’s even
been some magazines to have been
admitting to using computer-generated
images now why would that be a standard
we want to compare ourselves to
now can I be real with you guys for a
sec I just like talk real you’re
beautiful if I mean that I don’t mean
that in the cheesy motivational speaker
way where I’m up here it’s like oh
you’re beautiful you need to feel better
about yourself but you are beautiful
whether you feel it or not and the truth
is that you’re not beautiful in the eyes
of society and barely anyone is because
society standards are unrealistic and
often unattainable see society judges
beauty on the shallowest aspect of what
beauty encompasses where it almost
solely focuses on good looks which in
itself is so unvalued because if you
think about it looks and appearances are
fading features for all us humans as we
age and you need to know that your
beauty goes beyond the roundness of your
face or the clearness of your skin or
your body size or the muscles that you
have it simply makes up the shallowest
aspect of your beauty so what next well
surround yourself with encouragement you
need to know that everything you
surround yourself with is a possible
influence to you everything so assess
your friends your co-workers your
boyfriend your girlfriend your spouse
are the people around you creating an
environment where you can feel confident
and good about yourself do the people
around you speak positivity into your
life and should you be associating
yourself with those people no matter how
you answered any of those difficult
questions know this that whoever you
surround yourself with is who you will
become and you know I had to ask these
same questions when I was developing
self-confidence these same difficult
questions about the friends that I had
and it’s difficult but there is power in
the tongue to speak life or to speak
death but it’s your choice of what you
listen to
so next thing self assess your attitude
you will always be your greatest
obstacle you always will you are the
captain of your ship and you
Herman which direction your life is
headed and I think back of who I was in
what I did and the opportunities that I
threw out the window while I was
insecure and the obstacles that I
willingly placed in front of me and I
have to assess my attitude and the
regrets that I had and had to pull off
the chains that I had hanging around my
neck so evaluate yourself what negative
thoughts do you have of yourself and
especially of others
see this comes in many different ways
but often it can come in the form of
unforgiveness and the funny thing about
unforgiveness is this your unforgiveness
will burden you more than it burdens the
person who you’re not willing to forgive
so what change do you have tats around
your ankles that you’re not willing to
let go of you also need to believe in
yourself wait hold on let me say it
again you need to believe in yourself
you have the power to do whatever it is
that you set your mind to and it is only
you who can determine the path that your
life will take and finally ask yourself
this question are you creating an
environment where your friends can feel
confident and good about themselves are
you speaking positivity in life into
other people’s lives after all
encouragement breeds encouragement again
there is power in the tongue to speak
life or to speak death what do you
choose to speak in the last point let’s
be humble and this is a step which is to
not be forgotten it’s also the step
which is extremely difficult to maintain
something that I struggle with all the
time where I have to continually strive
to humble myself but what it really
comes down to is this self-confidence
that is rooted in other people’s
opinions and beliefs it’s much less self
confidence and more insecurity and
you’re right back to where you started
and believe me I know pride always comes
before a fall so what’s the point why
why try and follow these five steps
well what I found is that
self-confidence is the single most
impactful quality that can open up more
opportunities more happiness and more
successes than any other personality
aspect in life in the way that I found
self-confidence for myself was by
finding myself I stopped caring what
other people thought of me I surrounded
myself with encouragement self assess my
attitude and continually strive to be
humble but if there’s anything that I
want you to take away from this today
it’s this the crippling pressures that
we face in our society on a daily basis
leave us in a state of stress and
unacceptance we can no longer appreciate
see or believe the capability in
ourselves there’s no magic button to
confidence described here can
undoubtedly bring you self-confidence
but they can sure help if you choose to
utilize them now imagine this you’re
ready you’re prepared you are skilled
and you have endurance your greatest
fears are behind you and your challenges
ahead are ambitious there’s one thing
that’s different you are no longer your
greatest obstacle but rather your
greatest asset now go make that a
you [Applause]
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