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L’écritothérapie | Bernard Werber | TEDxMarseille


Translator: eric vautier Reviewer: Cristina Bufi-Pöcksteiner
This TEDx comes at a special time,
because it happens when it’s about a week
that I lost my father.
I will show you already his face.
And my father being dead, I asked myself the question:
what did he transmit to me?
Two ideas came to mind:
the first is that he transmitted to me the taste of stories,
because he told me a lot of stories,
and the second is that he transmitted to me a genetic inherited disease
which caused me a lot of trouble and forced me to adapt.
When I started having the first symptoms,
in fact, I got up in the morning and I could not stand up,
so I started crawling and could not get up.
Nobody understood what was happening.
When we went to see the doctors,
they said, “It’s psychological, he just does not want to go to school. “
It was not until this gentleman, Jean Dausset,
who is Toulouse too, discover my illness
and that he has the Nobel Prize for his discoveries,
to understand what I had; in fact, the name of my illness,
it’s SPA, it does not mean the Society for the Protection of Animals,
it means ankylosing spondylitis
and it’s a disease that gradually seals all joints
and involves a kind of transformation into a statue.
In the final stage, from what the doctors told me,
I will only be asked one question:
sitting or lying down?
Lying: I will be able to sleep well;
sitting, I will be able to work.
But this question was terrible
because it means that at some point, I will completely rigidify myself
and we can not do anything against it.
This chip is indicative of a first element:
to fight against this disease, I started to develop the imagination.
My father told me stories, and I began to read them.
Jules Verne, Edgar Poe, the great stories, like Salammbo de Flaubert,
all I was looking for was escape, getting out of my normal world
to create imaginary worlds.
And after reading stories, I wanted to make some.
And the first one I made was related to this little bug, a flea.
I was eight and told the story –
I was nine, it does not change much –
and I told the story
a little flea on a human being, which she explored like a planet:
first the feet, then under the pants, she was lost in the navel,
gradually climbed the whole human body, and finally,
she was landing in the hair.
The teacher gave me a good note and said:
“I’ve never had so much fun with your copy,
do us in others. “
And it’s this encouragement from a teacher, at a time in my life
which may have been enough to make me want to continue writing.
But he still said a sentence:
“Everything works in your news, except the first sentence:
“I am a smart,
I was born of a virgin father and a virgin mother. “
(Laughter)
I understood later what it was.
(Laughter)
Here I am small,
I did not have my glasses yet.
That’s the other bug that helped me a lot,
it’s the ants.
After finishing my studies, including law,
I wanted to tell stories.
I did not know that the job of a writer made it possible to live,
so I wanted to be just a journalist.
I entered a school of journalism,
there was a contest for the best story idea,
and I proposed to do the Magnan ants of Africa.
I knew they came in whole columns,
they destroy everything in their path,
they destroy the villages,
they scare men.
It seemed to me an expression of Nature:
as if the man still had a predator,
was still afraid of animals.
I wanted to talk about that.
I proposed this as a subject.
Of course, I was told, “Go ahead, we’ll see if you can. “
I went there, I was 21 years old.
This is the photo I made with Professor Leroux,
who is the Magnan specialist in Ivory Coast,
in the center of Lamto,
center that specializes in the study of insects.
It must have been in the first days, because there is one detail that does not deceive –
I do not know if you see the difference between Professor Leroux and me,
it is that he is covered and me no,
because I did not understand what was going on, especially
that it is full of small parasitic insects other than ants.
Ants, it’s clear.
We do not like mosquitoes, but in Africa we hear they are great.
Mosquitoes, that’s “Bzzz”, we hear them,
and when it stings you,
it makes you a little itch.
Where we were, there was none, but there were black flies.
Simulium, it does not make noise, it does not matter,
it happens, it stings you,
it puts you full of small worms, it goes again,
and it does not put the little product that itches you, which is an anticoagulant.
So in the evening, when I started, I saw lots of little red dots,
it was all these little critters that stung me,
and here I can tell you that, quickly, I got to have the pants,
and to walk practically in anorak to protect me from that.
What I have in my hands is a mongoose called Tarzan.
Many animals are supposed to protect other animals,
[the mongoose] protects snakes, it’s something else.
The other thing to see in this picture,
I do not have boots.
Those who worked on ants had boots with a repellent,
which makes it possible to avoid being eaten while wading in this river.
But I was already wearing 43,
and there were only boots in 41 or sizes that did not fit,
so I went there in pataugas,
and it was a big mistake.
Here is the time we went to find the anthill.
I start to cover myself to avoid black flies.
And there we had dug …
When noon arrives, the ant column ends up taking a nap,
to digest everything they ate.
They start digging a temporary nest.
And at that moment,
we dug around the temporary nest.
I wanted to have the picture of the queen,
because there are 50 million people in a column of Magnan ants,
but only one queen who does not stop laying –
She is like that –
and I wanted to have his picture.
Only as we went on digging,
obviously, they were in the “God save the queen” – Save the Queen –
so they all jumped on me,
who was in the outpost,
in addition, I did not have the famous boots with repellent –
which was a big mistake.
Mr. Leroux had given me some advice:
“Just be careful that they can not get into you,
and for that, protect your orifices. “
It’s to be careful that they do not fit in the eardrums,
neither in the nose holes, nor in the mouth,
and shake the buttocks,
because they want to dig inside,
to be able to surprise the opponent.
(Laughter)
I was covered with ants,
but these two boys, who were helping us dig,
have cleared me in time.
Afterwards, I scraped all this with a machete,
and I got the star:
the picture of the queen.
From there, with this documentation,
I redid the first version of the novel “Ants” –
I had begun to write it well before, at sixteen;
I chose this theme for another reason:
I thought :
“What is the most uninteresting topic that will make
that no one will want to read it?
– The ants. “
It becomes a real challenge:
if I can interest myself with a subject as uninteresting as ants,
a fortiori, that means that I understood how to tell a story.
I made a first version that I improved with my African experience
and this meeting with that fabulous queen you see there.
Only, as my novel grew,
I saw, when I made him read,
that nobody could finish it,
people were bored, stories of ants did not work,
and I did not understand what was wrong with the novel.
It took another extraordinary experience, another event,
for me to understand.
This other event is a walk with a group of friends in the Pyrenees.
At first, it started nicely.
We were seventeen,
we left at 3 pm and we were supposed to arrive at the shelter at 5 pm
We arrived at 5 pm
but in the refuge there was only room for 10.
So, the next seven, we decided to continue –
since I was a rescuer,
I had to leave with this group.
In theory there must have been two hours of walking –
so we were supposed to arrive at 7 pm
and around 11 pm
we were still there.
There was a storm, it started to rain,
and in fact we were lost.
It was dark.
and there began to be a split in the group:
part of the group wanted to come back,
some wanted to continue,
and we did not know where to go.
We knew we were wading in a river,
it was raining – we were all cold and tired.
We could not understand
how to get out of this stupid situation,
in full June, under the storm, in full mountain.
We were completely demoralized.
Finally, we find, at one o’clock in the morning, the second refuge.
At the moment we arrive, we are exhausted,
we discover that there is no food or heating,
we all tremble with cold, it’s raining outside,
and one of the girls in our group starts having an asthma attack,
because it does not support the altitude and begins to be on the ground to agonize.
All turn to me: “Bernard, do something. “
(Laughter)
His companion tells me:
“We did not warn you, but she does not do attacks at a certain altitude
and there, we had to go beyond it.
– Good. The solution is to go out and down again. “
We start taking it, it makes a small sign.
In fact, this sign was for his medication.
She takes one, and right now she’s better,
but the group was completely demoralized.
At that moment, someone says, “If we were doing a joke competition? “
We had not eaten, we were cold we had been afraid of having to go down,
it was dark.
“Jokes, this may not be the moment.
– Yes Yes ! We just have to make a joke contest. “
And he tells us a joke.
And this joke, I’ll tell you, as he told it.
It is a young man who passes his BEPC.
His father says to him:
“Since you’ve passed your BEPC, I’ll give you a present.
I want to give you a bike. “
“Listen, dad,
I would love to have a bike, but if you really want to please me,
what I would rather have,
it’s a black tennis ball. “
“But you do not play tennis. ” ” No. “
“Do not you want a box with several balls? “
“No, dad. Listening.
I have a very specific reason for wanting a black tennis ball.
Do not ask me the question yet,
but you will see,
it’s the thing that really makes me happy. “
The son grows up, then he has his bac.
The father for the ferry offers to buy him a motorcycle.
“Dad, it’s true, a motorcycle, it’s a dream for young people,
but if you really want to please me, what I would rather have,
it’s a black tennis ball. ” ” Again ? “
“Listen, Dad, there’s a definite and a little complicated reason;
I can not explain it to you now,
but I’ll tell you one day, you’ll understand.
It’s quite surprising but for me, it’s really important:
rather than a motorcycle, I prefer a black tennis ball. “
The father offers the black tennis ball, [the son] grows up,
he passes his BEPC …
he passes his exam in law school,
he is the first of his class,
the father says to him:
“Well, now I’m going to buy you a car. “
“Listen, dad, rather than a car,
what I would prefer is – “I give you a thousand –
Audience: “A black tennis ball. “
That’s it ! I see that there are some who follow.
And on that, he gets married,
and the father said to him,
“For your wedding, I would like to offer you something extraordinary:
a flat ! “
“Rather than an apartment, if you really want to please me,
I would rather have a black tennis ball. “
The father still offers a black tennis ball.
The son goes on vacation.
While driving on the ledge near Marseille,
he does not see a turn, he misses it, he falls,
he is completely damaged by the accident,
he arrives at the hospital,
it is reported that he has not long to live.
His father arrives, he is told:
“Listen, your son is not going to last long. “
The father [goes to see his son]:
“My son, what happened to you? “
The son says:
“I know why you’re here:
you want to know why I’ve always asked you for a black tennis ball. “
“No, it’s not for that reason. “
“Yes, Dad, you have the right. There is actually a very real reason,
you will understand that it was really important to me.
If I wanted a black tennis ball …
Come on, dad, I’ll reveal it to you.
If I wanted a black tennis ball all the time, it’s because … ahhh! “
And he dies.
So,
we were in the mountains,
we were cold.
(Laughter)
There is a part of the group that has worked hard on this boy.
(Laughter)
Humor is subjective.
(Laughter)
I made you the short version,
(Laughter)
He did it year by year.
(Laughter)
I said to myself :
” Damn it ! We were cold, we ran into a lot of disasters,
and the guy, with his joke,
he has come to create something else,
a form of diversion that made that, all of a sudden,
we are happy, we are good,
and besides, we have completely forgotten all the problems around.
And I said to myself:
“That’s what’s missing from my ant manuscript,
something that moves people
and who frustrates them.
I discovered two things in this joke:
one: frustration, and two: fucking mouth,
(Laughter)
which are the two principles of the good novel.
(Laughter)
From there, I made what I would call a locomotive,
that is to say, a story
with a cellar,
a mysterious cellar in which there was a hidden treasure.
And this story, I grafted it to my story of ants,
I mixed a little cellar and a few ants,
and everyone was saying
that I had finally discovered the principle of frustration,
the principle of the advance,
but without the foutage of mouth –
in the end there is a real discovery –
and my manuscript was finally working.
From there, the more I started to write, the more my crises were spaced –
my spondyloarthritis attacks –
and I found a publisher.
And when the book came out,
it’s as if what should be done [had been] done,
instead of having a feeling of joy,
I had a feeling of “Now, we must disappear. “
I had laid my work, put 12 years to write this novel –
for 12 years, I wore it –
finally he was going out!
And when I had the object in my hands,
I had a huge feeling of emptiness.
As I had studied criminology, I was learning to eliminate myself.
I realized it was a bit complicated.
I spent the first night,
and when I had the first feedbacks,
I saw that no one understood anything.
They thought I was talking about ants, when I was talking about our place,
from what humans could see from ants.
I decided from there a rule –
I followed, “The day of the ants” –
the rule is:
every year, I will make a new copy, a new novel,
and, every time, try to go further
in the discovery of what man is, the experience of consciousness,
and go further in the way of keeping people
so that they want to turn the pages.
I’m 56 years old, I wrote 23 novels,
and I do not have any more ankylosing spondylitis crisis.
It’s like writing books,
finding my way of expression,
having allowed my mind to go out
to be able to create an external play area
had me fully cared.
This is the message I want to convey:
we all have a chance to heal the body
by fending for his way of expression
in the sense of releasing the pressure outside.
And when this mode can do more good to others,
that it can wake him up in others,
it’s even better.
Here. Now, I do not ask myself the question “sitting or lying,”
I’m standing in front of you,
I wanted to say thank you to Dad for giving me the taste of stories
and at the same time, it allowed me to fight against the disease.
Thank you.
(Applause)
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