something pretty amazing it’s very
humbling to be here and keeping momentum
decision points in your life is all
about the theme of this conference which
is momentum and passion coming together
with momentum and passion we have to
develop ideas move forward boldly and
why should you listen to me why am i
special er why am i unique and coming up
on the screen you can see some of the
roles I’ve played in life I’ve done many
good things I’ve done so maybe
questionable things and I’m going to
talk within a framework of these four SS
or may ways of being methods of being
you can see a picture here of my husband
Anthony and I in Hong Kong Disney we’re
a bit of Disney files and that was with
Wendy Wong because we launched or were
at the launch of the first Marvel ride
at Disney so with that I live a certain
credo life is urgent by nature it was
urgent to be on this stage it was urgent
for those youth to produce this and I’m
humbled by it I want you to take for a
moment a reflection a sliding door
moment think Gweneth Paltrow in the
movie sliding doors in one moment she
manages to make it onto the tube and in
the other one she misses it because she
didn’t quite expend that extra effort
that effort made the difference of
whether or not she caught her husband
cheating on her with another woman in
bed or not so think about that do you
get it yet
when did you expend a little extra
effort and for me in a personal adultery
start because I’ve been an adulterer you
should take a look at this picture my
ex-boyfriend
Jimmy Carter did this
and it represents momentum of water and
flow in nature and so I know what it is
to be an adulterer and the best lesson I
can tell you from it is not to ever do
it again but if you have questions about
relationships I’m gonna give you a
reference because the decision point and
that’s the truth by neil strauss New
York Times best seller pretty great book
check it out
when I’m giving this talk I need to give
you a warning some disclaimers the world
tells us you can be anything you want
we’re going to ignite unlimited
possibilities well I hate to break it to
you that’s probably not true not
everybody can be president not everybody
can be an astronaut but the difference
for those people who are is passion the
next thing is that money is really the
ability to have choice money doesn’t
have really any intrinsic power except
its ability to flow and that’s important
and then a quote for my husband when I
was in a pretty dark period of my life
wondering whether or not was I ask
assist success what defines success and
it’s achieving a goal at or before the
resources required or the time allotted
and that’s pretty profound and then if
you take nothing else out from this talk
this is a most important point about
decision points that I want you to
remember you need to like yourself as a
human being the reason I became an
addict is because I didn’t like myself I
didn’t like who I was I didn’t like my
relationship that’s why I cheated on it
but it took a lot of courage to look
inside and years to understand that was
at the heart of the problem I didn’t
like who I was but I can tell you I’m so
amazed and humbled by these youth
because they like themselves otherwise
they wouldn’t be here producing it so
what are these lives what are these four
different patterns well you can see them
here I like to call them the four S’s
the first one is sloth the second one is
stuff the third one is structure and the
last one is style you can probably guess
which one I am already actually I’ve
lived in all of them as maybe perhaps
some of you have but which life are you
living in which life do you want and
we’re going to go raise sloth is really
the path of hedonic pleasure
it’s self-indulgent it makes you happy
it makes you static all of these paths I
don’t necessarily endorse or not endorse
I don’t have judgment I’m just telling
you what it is
here’s crystal meth here’s a crystal
meth pipe that was me when I was doing
crystal meth
do I look unhealthy no do you pick me
out of the crowd
probably not but at that point in time I
was in the heart of my addiction do I
exist in a world of winning and losing
like the universe talks about or the
world talks about no I live in a world
of winning and learning because when you
learn you develop and progress and I can
tell you from personal direct experience
it’s the best way through anything or
the what best way past anything is
through just like Robert Frost said so
what about this next thing called stuff
one stuff we really need to think about
the acquiring of goods it’s
materialistic consumerism advertising
executives tell us all about it it’s got
a momentum which is greater than zero
unlike sloth which was just static
you’re not going anywhere you’re not
doing anything the universe is passing
you by you’re having a great time doing
it I was having a great time producing
nightclub parties but I wasn’t going
anywhere
n’stuff you’re just so busy accumulating
things you’ve lost life balance
so you’re bigger than zero but less than
large balance with stuff when I talked
about money flow
I have a caveat and that’s the world
with travel
I believe travel enlightens the soul it
emboldened the mind it enhances the
quality of life and you can see pictures
here of everything ranging from me in
the Bahamas to Anthony and I going to
pyramids to an incredible adventure that
members of our family have done our
cousins they took their two kids out of
school they went on a sailing yacht and
they’re going to sail around the world
for three years and homeschool our kids
and these children are going to have
some of the most interesting college
essays I think of anyone because they’ll
be all over the world living life oh by
the way I off love Doctor Who that’s why
he’s in here too moving on to the next
path let’s structure that’s all about
what the world tells us to be the world
tells us to exist in a certain way from
the white picket fence and family to how
we get our power to the beautiful office
buildings that we’re expected to work in
its conformist and safe but ultimately
all of it is dominated by this hive mind
this structure so again momentum is
greater than zero but it’s really not
full of meaning because your meaning is
provided by externals your meaning is
provided by other things not yourself I
existed here for ten years very happy
successful financial bought into the
dream of this it’s fine
it’s just maybe not the apex so passion
is important as you make this next
choice because passion and momentum and
the ability to execute is what makes the
and here’s here’s a life hack – about
why say life is urgent we get one red
ticket every day we wake up there are no
promises no cash value it can’t be
transferred there are no guarantees you
don’t get it back and one day you just
don’t get a red ticket so I encourage
you to make sure that you maximize the
value of that red ticket because if you
don’t it’s gone it’s expended torn in
half your day at the carnival of life is
over so make sure you embrace it what do
you very me just go do it so what do you
do you get introduced to style the path
of self-actualization the path of
self-identity and self-reliance so who
are we we embrace childlike play we
embrace wonder we embrace a joy of
existence in a novel way style is you
know greater than one but less than
infinity
and there’s Griffin he’s kind of like
our nephew and he’s got a lot of style
he’s got that spider-man shirt his
sister’s skirt his leg warmers on he’s
five years old and he’s wearing my
husband’s shoes and man he is
unabashedly stylish in that outfit and
he goes to preschool like that what
happens to us where we’ve become so
inhibited that we can’t embrace our own
interior style and then that second one
is my nephew Connor now Connor is 17
years old he took 1,400 clips Avia’s of
the Dolans wins who I’d never heard of
they had five million Instagram
followers and created his 12-minute
video in two days that has 1.5 million
hits on YouTube do you think he’s gotten
into every college he’s applied to hell
yes that young man is extraordinary
because he has a passion called photo
editing and videography and he is great
at it
do you think he has a major for that in
high school no but he surfs Eastern
Oracle’s he jumps off cliffs and that
was from a trip he just took with his
parents incredible life incredible
urgency incredible passion and momentum
as you look at this image from Van Gogh
one of my favorite painters something
leaps out at you
leaps off the canvas what is it the
white iris the one that’s different why
because we all have within us the
possibility of being an entrepreneur of
being the one who exemplifies style and
how do you do that and here’s an acronym
that’s coming up to tell you about
entrepreneurship and you could replace
style on this with words service because
that’s another component of style but
you have to really move forward with
ideas like capital and your passion your
momentum ultimately to crimp the edges
of the world I really get that to crimp
the edges of the world to make it Bend
so what you want it to do now what
somebody else wants to do or the fact
that you have zero momentum or because
you’re pursuing wealth those things are
ephemeral your ability to leave the
legacy in the world is up to you by your
ability to make the world shift that got
painted this the year before he died and
painting was what kept him sane while he
was in an insane asylum it’s the only
thing that kept his mind from
degenerating that’s remarkable B’s the
white iris be someone different so sue
replied passion and I deliberately chose
this animation because it reminds me of
the way our lives just run along we’re
just running along making decisions
catching trains going on trips getting
ready for a TED talk going to a rally
voting what I have
those things just happen but make sure
you remember you have a choice you have
the power to commit to one of those
paths of momentum and passion one of the
asses what’s the difference between 211
and 212 degrees one degree and that one
degree produces steam and steam can
drive the world and we’ve known that for
decades but we don’t really think about
it just as one degree difference that
little bit of extra effort applies to
each and every one of us at different
times we lead different lives it’s okay
I’ve lived in sloths probably some of
you in different ways you’ve lived in
stuff but you might have lived up until
this point in the structural framework
of school or family and that’s fine too
and then of course I’m advocating style
find that childlike joy find that
individuality find that candidate that
might be highly confrontational or
controversial but you want to support
them I think that’s great don’t regret I
don’t regret my adultery I don’t regret
my addiction I learned from those things
it forced me to make different choices
it enabled me to become more informed so
ultimately my father said a great thing
to me once he said son don’t be a burden
on the universe create more than you
consume seems like pretty good advice I
was a philosophy chemistry double major
and undergraduate before I got my MBA
and one of my favorite philosophers was
throughout and you can see his matches
message here you need to embrace your
identity follow your path and the
results will be remarkable they truly
will I promise you
an expert in business development in
life coaching the fact that I own two
businesses outright partner and five
more and serve on seven boards all of my
life experience and those of my family
say this is true so think about it and
follow the path of style and with that I
thank you
[Applause] [Music]