woman aged 15 to 24 okay now raise your
hand if you know a young man aged 15 to
24 we all know someone in one of the two
groups most affected by eating disorders
hi my name is Ella and I’m a young woman
aged 15 to 24 and I have an eating
disorder
I have anorexia nervosa I found out when
I was 15 and I’ve been actively
addressing it ever since but why should
you guys care as far as we all know
eating disorders are just something that
young skinny girls give to themselves in
order to stay skinny right well maybe
not there’s more in this picture and
it’s not just young skinny girls
it’s about older women too and men young
and old and it’s not just about the
desire to stay thin there’s more to this
story and in order to properly tell it
I’ll do it in three parts over the next
10 or so minutes the first part is my
story
five years of having anorexia and how I
learned that I had it and what I’ve been
doing ever since the second part is
about eating disorders in our society
and how they tend to get erased or
overlooked using generalizations that
are more harmful than true the third
part is what we can do to fix this the
importance of education on a changed
mindset and how all of us can work
towards fixing something that affects
over 30 million Americans alone every
year my freshman year of high school I
joined the cross-country team I was the
only girl I ran wearing a boys uniform
and the first time I ever won a race the
lady at the finish line turned to me and
she told me I had won and I asked her
are you sure by the end of my freshman
year though I want to do it sophomore
year and by the end of my sophomore year
we had more of a team and I was more
confident in my abilities this was
incredible and as a season continued I
knew I wanted to get even better so I
turned to my eating as a way to do that
I first was really good
me but as my season went on I started
dropping Li I started dividing foods
into good and bad categories and I would
only eat things in the good categories I
started counting calories and I started
cutting certain foods out of my diet
because I thought they were too bad for
me to eat mealtime stressed me out
because I thought that people would be
watching me eat and I was nervous that
they would be I became a vegetarian but
not for any ethical reasons I did it to
cut more foods out of my diet and
restrict myself even more by the end of
my sophomore year of high school I was
511 and weighed 105 pounds
I looked sick and I was so jump ahead a
year and I’m sitting in junior year
health class now this is the big sex ed
year but we did other things in that
class too and I remember sitting in
class watching a documentary on these
girls at an eating disorder recovery
clinic somewhere in Florida and I was
watching this documentary and I realized
that a lot of attitudes and beliefs that
these girls had towards food were
attitudes that I had and beliefs that I
shared and so I went home that day and I
went to my mom and I said mom I think I
have an eating disorder and she looked
at me and she said Ella I think you do
too it was little things leading up to
that it was my friends pulling me aside
and saying hey you look really skinny
when I said thanks they said no not a
good skinny like oh what’s wrong with
you skinny
it was almost passing out after cross
country practices because I hadn’t eaten
enough during the day before it was not
getting my period until I was 16 years
old and only getting it once that year
because there wasn’t enough in my body
to support it it was going to bed always
feeling hungry and looking forward to
the morning because I would let myself
eat again it was feeling guilty when I
did eat because for some reason I didn’t
think that I deserved it so I took a
step back and I started reevaluating a
big part of me didn’t want to go into
recovery I didn’t want to change my
habits I didn’t want to gain weight I
didn’t want
eat more but another part of me did I
was sick and tired of always feeling
sick and tired and cold and most of all
hungry
I had to be encouraged almost every day
by my mom and my friends and the people
who loved me but getting better was a
good thing and recovery was something I
should actively work towards I started
eating more
I stopped cutting certain foods out of
my diet and I stopped being a vegetarian
I went to a therapist and I began to
open up and acknowledge that maybe I did
have a problem by the time I got to my
freshman year at st. Lawrence I weighed
a hundred and fifteen pounds and I had
finally learned that my inner exia was
attached to my anxiety when I was in
high school I did so many different
things I took AP classes I worked hard
to graduate third in my class I did
track I did cross-country I did Mock
Trial I did Odyssey the mind musical
plays and all of these things piled on
and left me feeling anxious and stressed
and out of control I didn’t know what
else did you or how else to feel better
and so I turned to one thing in my life
that I definitely had control over my
eating as a way to feel better I didn’t
realize it at the time but of course
this wasn’t helping me it was hurting me
and the people around me it’s been five
years since I learned that I have an
eating disorder my period still isn’t
normal it skips months sometimes three
or four in a row and when I do get it
it’s unpredictable I still have to go to
a therapist I’m at a higher risk for
osteoporosis because my bones didn’t get
all the hormones that they needed during
development
sometimes when I’m anxious or stressed I
catch myself eating less but I am in
recovery I actually get my period and to
me that’s a good thing as crazy as that
sounds I have gained weight and I have
opened up and acknowledged to myself
that this is an issue that I’ll continue
to deal with I’m open and honest about
the experiences that I went through
because I believe building a support
network is so important in the recovery
process because the people around me can
know that this happened to me and can
let me know if they realize anything is
wrong but being honest with
myself and building that support network
I work towards recovery even more every
single day and I’m not limited by my
experiences so now that I’ve talked
about my experience with anorexia let’s
talk about eating disorders in our
society who do you think of when you
hear the term eating disorder I’ll tell
you who I think of I think of a young
woman in that 15 to 24 age group who’s
skinny and only eats salad at lunch and
dinner because she wants to stay skinny
when we think about eating disorders we
think about a very specific group of
people affected we think it comes from a
drive to want to look a certain way and
not from anything else this is harmful
because it erases the real people
affected by these issues and the real
reasons underlying them so let’s start
breaking down some of those stereotypes
first of all what is an Iraq SIA
according to the National Eating
Disorder Awareness organization anorexia
nervosa is a psychological illness
defined by extremely low body weight
relative to stature extremer needless
weight loss illogical fear of weight
gain and distorted perception of self or
body image it’s a physical manifestation
of an anxiety this anxiety stems from
feeling so out of control that you don’t
know what else to do and so the one
thing in your life that you turned
towards for control is eating so
anorexia comes from anxiety who’s
affected by that anxiety in a word
everyone everyone gets anxious which
means in theory anyone could develop an
eating disorder and is this idea of
everyone that gets a race when we think
about it we tend to forget about those
who aren’t young and who aren’t female
and this is an issue because every
single type of person could be affected
with an eating disorder one in 10 men
will develop an eating disorder in their
lifetime and eating disorders don’t
magically disappear once you’re older
than 20 for erasing that other people
affected by eating disorders is harmful
because it denies them the ability to
seek treatment and to acknowledge that
these are issues they could be affected
by this is harmful because even though
who are told they’re allowed to have an
eating disorder like young women are
reluctant to admit this in the first
place so what can we do how can we help
people with eating disorders without
just saying well maybe you should eat
more
first of all education every day we
learned more about mental health and
mental health disorders and slowly but
surely we’re making this a conversation
that has a place in our daily lives
knowing not just what an eating disorder
is but what some of its signs could be
are very important and reaching out and
helping people who may be affected with
these issues so make a point of knowing
those signs if you notice someone who’s
not eating a lot at a mealtime or who
seems uncomfortable and anxious or who
isn’t eating at all these could be signs
of an eating disorder and once you
notice these things don’t be afraid to
say something it can be very difficult
to reach out to somebody and ask them if
they have a problem or if they’re okay
but sometimes this is what they need to
hear it took my friends telling me that
I didn’t look okay for me to seek the
treatment that I need it besides knowing
what an eating disorder is and what some
of its signs are we need to start having
conversations about breaking down
perpetuation of anorexic culture in our
society we value thinness as a beauty
ideal and this can contribute to enter
exit culture by encouraging those with
eating disorders but it’s not a bad
thing to have one because it helps them
adhere to a certain Beauty standard if
it makes you skinnier and it makes you
feel prettier how could it be bad for
you we need to embrace the idea that
there are a variety of body types and
all of them are natural and beautiful
pride and confidence in yourself can
help to alleviate anxieties and as such
something that’s anxiety based like an
eating disorder the last thing that we
can do and tackling this issue is
breaking down some of the negative
stigmas surrounding mental health when
we think of someone with a mental health
disorder we think of them as unhinged or
unable to function in normal society and
this isn’t true many individuals who are
affected with mental health disorders
can function completely fine in society
and you may not notice anything is wrong
unless you take a very serious look as
look at something very specific about
them such as their eating habits we also
need to break down these negative
stigmas because they stop people from
acknowledging issues that they may have
even though having a mental health
disorder is very difficult to live with
it does not make anyone a bad person and
it is not something you should be
ashamed to acknowledge in yourself many
people fear acknowledging a mental
health disorder in themselves because
they think that they will be judged or
treated differently and this isn’t
something that should happen we
shouldn’t be afraid to say I have an
eating disorder or my daughter has an
eating disorder or my friend has an
eating disorder because by having those
conversations and putting those ideas
out into the open we contribute to more
conversation which can lead to better
treatment methods and getting people
affected the help that they need so now
we’re reaching the end of this talk
we’ve talked about my experiences with
anorexia and how I learned that this
hatch to my anxiety and how I’m working
every day towards recovery we’ve talked
about eating disorders in our society
and how we think of a very select group
as being affected and how we need to
expand our mindset so that we can help
more people get the help they need we’ve
also talked about mental health and how
breaking down those negative stigmas can
contribute to more positive
conversations and a healthier community
I think all of you for being here today
and listening to what I have to say
anorexia nervosa is scary and dangerous
and affects over 30 million Americans
alone every single year but I don’t
believe that it’s something that we
cannot face I believe that we can work
together start these conversations find
new treatment methods and get people
affected the help that they need
I believe that we can make a real
difference thank you [Applause]