everybody first of all I like to thank
the TEDx forgive me this opportunity to
share my story and also to share the
work we do at cure violence to interrupt
the violence and change man set day to
day every day I arrived here on
Wednesday and they got some disturbing
phone call Thursday morning that I lost
my cousin to gun violence so I’d like to
and I also would like to challenge
everybody in here today to spread the
message that people can’t change they
for the past last year I’ve been working
on the book and I’ve been trying to
think of a title see where I come from
most people think of a book titled like
from the streets to the suite or for how
some people say the streets to the
boardroom all say the streets to the
stage but Kobe I would write my book
about the Kobe story and they be from
the streets to the streets so I know you
all might be here thinking Kobe they
don’t say like you made it that far
right here so I’m here to prove you
wrong man said it’s everything man said
determine your attitude your behavior
your actions as an interrupter our job
is like a firefighter when the things
that are blowing up in the community I
mean the buildings I’ve on fire our job
is as an interrupter is to run into the
crowd to mediate conflicts when it’s a
lot of shooting and killing going on in
the community and that’s what we do the
day-to-day we focus on helping people
change their mindset let me give you an
example I remember a few years ago we
are sitting in the englewood office and
in inglewood office is where we work at
every day we have weekly staff meetings
and we talking about the things we’re
talking about the shooting and killing
what’s going on how we on stop the
violence how we don’t go about this or
what we don’t do what techniques will do
because what we r do we train we are
highly trained and conflict resolution
communities engagement
identified detail we trying to do what
we do we have techniques and tools we
use to stop the violence so I’ve
received a call because what we have
with I mean we all make sure our phone
is on vibrate because we don’t want to
be interrupted because we strategize and
he was calling and he called and kept
saying Kobe Kobe I couldn’t hire him
because he is like Holly and crying
through the phone he kept saying kobe
kobe deep way got killed so I’m like
what what’d he say D boy got killed so
me and my team rushed over there cuz I
asked him I said wait you read he said
we on the block I rushed over there me
and my team so the first thing I did I
jumped out the car and breaks them right
away hugged him and grabbed him to the
side and took him for a walk my team
start talking to all the family members
out there all his friends out there
people out there in the community with
guns staying gangways is sending out d
boy laying right there in the car his
head blowed off just shot just dead it’s
so much emotion in tension going on
right then he kept explaining to me like
Kobe man they killed when I was we don’t
kill to order it is his friends
everybody just all over the place but I
can’t walk it with him talking with him
because if I could get through to him I
could get through to everybody because
he is they shot Carly as they leader
this the guy we like talking to he
didn’t want to influence the
neighborhood he could turn it on
fraternity on at any time so I know I
got to reach him and I know my
co-workers got to reach his friends and
reached his family members because we
don’t reach them right then it’s going
to be more violence more shooting more
killing so as I was talking to him and
talking to him over and over I suggest
me 24 hours gives 24 hours just trying
to work things out so we could try to
make sense of this madness he said kobe
i ain’t got no 24 hours 1oz got killed
we had to kill when it is so i said 38
give me 12 hours then give me 12 hours
he kept saying come on Kobe come on Kobe
I say give me the 12 hours because I
know if I get 12 hour I could turn that
twiba to 24 or 36 and 48 hours so I was
able to do was removed him from that
situation put him in the car with me and
take him for a ride and were you taking
them to a rat we talked about
babysitting them monitor them welcome to
remove him my teammates out there still
talking to the families in the friends
and seeing what’s going on out there so
I was able to more listening to him than
anything a lot of times when he tragedy
if I that’s happened you don’t know what
to do sometimes cuz every situation
might be different and sometimes it
depends how much damage had been done
and somebody is just up to gun on you
that’s one thing but if somebody got
killed that’s something different so
that’s a big gap in to me how much
damage have been done but I know if I
won’t reach him and we don’t reach his
friends right then it’s going to be more
violence and that’s what we do every day
get out there so it won’t be more
violent but most important what we do is
listen and why it’s so easy for me to
listen because I was a part of that
probably now part of the solution I was
out there that lifestyle before most of
the people I worked with every day was
out there in that lifestyle so I was
just talking him back and forth talking
back and forth we moved him up the
situation my co-workers we jumping on
the phone just communicate with each
other from that one incident right there
it didn’t lead to no shooting and
killing and I do know this as we went
now it would have been a lot of shooting
and killing
because we saw it happen over and over
too many times and what we do with these
guys we have to provide our opportunity
to save face because when these
situations going on a lot of times
people might be want to leave it alone
and some people might not want to leave
it on what people feel like if they
leave some things alone it’s going to
make a fence off it’s going to make them
feel like they are punk it’s going to
make them feel like they are target now
let me people could do this any time to
them so what will save it to do like I
say squash things right there it went no
more violence right there off that same
incident and one thing we do we don’t
just mediate conflicts right then we do
follow-ups because you know today
somebody could give you they were today
right right and then go back on they
were right so we want to make sure we
mother to these situations to go back
and since the situation is still where
we left it at it’s so important to
follow up when you do any type of
intervene or mediation when I see these
young brothers and sisters out here do
you felt here and make me think about my
father my father was my role model that
man right there was my role model right
there he was a gain chief and he was
selling drugs as a kid that’s who I want
to be like my father nobody couldn’t end
me not different that’s who I want to be
like when I was three years old my
father went to prison for a murder when
he also got killed once he got out of
prison so what I look at
the youth the people we work with every
day a lot of them ain’t got no father
figure in a life ain’t got no big
brother in a life and a lot of times
people be quick to judge people but you
never know what somebody going through
you just never know what somebody going
through when ain’t got no father big
brother uncle cousin or mother or
anybody in they life people be quick to
judge them I hate my father went there
for me and I think about that all the
time but I remember when I was locked up
fighting the case I was locked up in
custody my son my son mother my mother
my son grandmother’s sister they came to
quote for me and I came out the bullpen
shackled up my son walked up here to be
three years old I see him since he was
born cuz I was like that when he was
born he I was shackled up they hear me
take me just like that my son can’t ran
up into me say Dada Dada Dada day i love
you i love you i love you dad dad I love
you so I said right there right there
looked at my son coming towards me the
judge looked at both for us and
identified he knew that I see my son in
so many years or something he told the
Baylor please take the handcuffs off him
he let me hug my son so I heard my son
and breaks my son and hug him real tight
on my love you I love you I love you so
I knew it’s time for me to go back to
lockup as I’m going back to lockup I
told my son your mom and them calling
your grandmama call to you he went over
there and sent with his grandmama now
but I know I’m to go back to lockup so
as I as he sat down he just broke down
from the whole courtroom I want my daddy
I want my daddy I want my daddy so as I
was going back I got so emotional tears
coming down my eyes like like man I want
my son that’s how it was feeling so I
was feeling like that i’m like man
please I hope when I go back lock up
nobody don’t say nothing crazy to me
because it’s like when you in jail you
going to jail with tears and people
might try to try you in any type of way
people might try to make jokes on my he
crying he weekend outlet so I was hoping
that nobody insane entry that moment
right then that’s what made me start
changing my mindset my thinking my
quality of life because a lot of times
when we make bad choices in this world
or in the community we not just hurting
ourselves we heard our loved ones my
father won there for me but I want to be
there for my son so that’s what made me
start thinking about changing my mindset
in my thinking and we will talk about
changing man said and we talked about
changing thinking we get these brothers
and sisters out there are opportunities
like I said before to save face we want
people to understand just because you
get into a disagreement you ain’t got to
lead to violence you ain’t got to always
be to react on certain things you can’t
walk away and that’s what we provide
that opportunity for people to save face
to walk away most of the times people
like only reason we’re gonna do this
because you asked me not to do this or
she asked me not to do this people
respect what we do because we don’t come
off judging nobody we meet everybody
where they are we understand people make
mistakes we don’t look at people as good
or bad people because you make bad
choices don’t not make you a bad person
sometimes you just make bad choices us
and sometimes it’s hard to get back when
you make choices but it’s all about you
can learn from these choices I look at
myself now I’ve made a lot of bad
choices in my life but I’m able to able
to shift that to shift my thinking the
shift my man said and the same thing
applies to me applying the community
when people see you make shift in your
mind said that make changing your
mindset other people could do that most
of the times people be thinking about
how they friends that had somebody see
them that be what people be thinking
about shifting is so important though
and provide an opportunity for these
brothers and sisters out there to save
face because we look at violence as a
disease it’s praying for one person to
another as we can’t stop it right then
and we are spread that’s why we make
sure we be there to stop it right there
and so it won’t spread and we focus on
stop and shooting and killing on the
front end once it happened we focus on
stopping retaliation i’ma leave y’all
with Disney there’s one more story I got
another son and I used to go up to
school for him a lot I mean a lot like
y’all can relate to that right when you
got kids every time I finna go up the
school is something wrong so I remember
when I walked in the house and as I
the phone was ringing and I looked at
the caller ID and said school so the
first thing I’m saying is what did he do
now so once I picked up the phone the
principal ain’t get a chance to say
night i just say what did he do the
person who say that what he did is what
he did did so I really my heart got the
racing right there I said what you mean
what he did did it’s a fun to be a big
fight at the school a big group of guys
there’s good guys on this side and that
side your son got right in the mix of it
and pour both sides pour the parties on
wheel and pull out and mediated it right
then and stopped it right down so I want
to know how’s that for learned behavior
thank you very much [Applause]