the end of life because I’m an artist
I’d like to focus on the creative
potential that arises as people approach
their final days we don’t think of
end-of-life usually as a time for
artistic productivity but we should this
is an important time for us to create
and to share ourselves facing death that
gives an unprecedented perspective a
perspective that no one can inhabit
in our culture life ends in an
institution 90% of Americans say they
would prefer to die at home but 75% of
them died in a nursing home or Hospital
these institutions are good at
prolonging and preserving life but they
are not designed to nurture the
creativity of those who live within I’d
like to offer a completely different
possibility
what if creativity was the focus of the
final months of life not just mere
survival but actively sharing the
accumulated experience of a lifetime
what would it be to see each person
approaching death as a creative being
which they definitely are what would
really like to treat them as an artist
let me show you one way this can be done
I live part of the year in Santa Fe New
Mexico where I work as a pianist and
composer for the past two years I’ve had
the privilege of working with a group
called life songs an intergenerational
art project that promotes inclusion and
dignity for elders life songs is a
program of the Academy for the love of
learning an organization envisioned by
the American composers Leonard Bernstein
and Aaron Stern life songs hires
professional artists to create original
work with hospice patients and nursing
home residents through artistic
collaboration public concerts and other
community events we reconnect elders
with their creative capacities this is
Tony Molina
one of my collaborators in the life
songs project he loves to laugh tell
stories sit in the sunshine and eat new
Mexican food
he’s also blind and unable to stand or
walk he has two children and five
grandchildren and lives with his wife
Mary Lou Tony was a skilled craftsperson
a silversmith and ceramics artists but
he had no previous experience of working
creatively with music or language so how
did we get to know each other
in December 2015 I got an email from
life songs director with Tony and Mary
Lou’s phone number their hospice nurse
had identified Tony as someone who’d be
open to receiving visitors someone who
might be willing and eager to share his
story my first meeting with Tony was
challenging he was in and out of
he had trouble understanding what I was
saying and I had trouble hearing what he
was saying he was confused about who I
was and why I was there but there was
also a lot of potential when I’m working
with an elder I listen for the stories
that they are most invested in the ones
that draw an emotion I also listen for
stories with a bit of the unexpected
stories that offer a fresh take on how
the world works
I asked Tony a few questions about his
military service and he poured in two
descriptions of his time in Vietnam I
remember him telling me that he slept
poorly for an entire year because the
night ambush was always a possibility
when he finally arrived home he slept
for almost 24 hours straight this is us
working together Tony and I met weekly
over the course of four months sometimes
twice a week in the first few sessions
we got to know each other better in our
second session
Tony became more articulate and started
sharing much more he remembered me and
stopped asking why I was there Tony
always thanked me for my visits gracias
put easy tighter me IT Tony IT I asked
Tony about the music that he loved and
we started listening to some of his
favorites together it was very clear
that Tony was deeply moved by music when
I play a song for him on headphones with
the volume turned up loud enough that I
could hear the sound bleeding through he
after a few more sessions we became even
more comfortable Tony’s wife Mary Lou
started to invite me to have lunch with
them after each session the food was
spicy and unbelievably delicious nothing
compares to homemade stack of enchiladas
or posole made in the southern New
Mexican style if it was a weekday their
son Marcos would often combine his lunch
break if it was a weekend I would sit
down with Tony and Mary Lou’s
grandchildren
Tony stories would continue over lunch
with family members chiming in about
their own experiences eventually I
suggested to Tony that we write a song
together I had this in mind all along
fortunately Tony agreed he had an Apple
way of saying sure to most of the things
I suggested that said writing a song was
something Tony had never tried before I
admired the courage he showed and
accepting my request I started bringing
my keyboard into his living room playing
little snippets of music to accompany
the words that he had shared with me the
first song we wrote together was a
ballad about Tony’s boyhood dog Viejo
Viejo was Tony’s teenage sidekick and
also his teenage drinking buddy the two
of them would share beer together and
then find themselves in all sorts of
trouble with the law and worse with
Tony’s grandmother later on we started
writing a song about the day he returned
from Vietnam at the age of 23 Tony was
drafted into the Army and the year he
spent in combat was the most difficult
Tony found that by telling his story he
learned more about his military service
bringing up traumatic memories was
difficult but it also brought him to new
depths of self-knowledge he said I
learned how to talk about Vietnam before
I would just shut up at end of life
people sometimes feel the need to review
certain experiences especially the ones
they’ve not had a chance to process
completely mary lou said that tony
shared stories in our session that even
she had never heard before giving our
elders that space to process and express
working with tony also changed me i
softened immensely in the presence of
that sweet man his life had ripened him
beautifully though his body was decaying
his loving character remained fully
intact I want to emphasize that Tony was
a full creative partner in this process
most of our song lyrics quote him
directly or indirectly Tony also took an
active role in create decision-making I
would approach him with two or three
directions that a song might take and
then give him the executive power does
the melody go up here or head back down
do we want a dark chord or an optimistic
one on the word again opening up
creative control to Tony meant that I
could authentically go far beyond my own
experience together we create something
that neither of us could have done alone
the process and the results were deeply
satisfying let me share Tony song with
today I came home from Vietnam I started
off on a plane the Greyhound bus brought
me closer to home through cliffs sky a
desert terrain saw ray at the station
brought me home
when I saw the tears on my mama’s face I
just couldn’t hold it in walks with my
mama’s hand and mind drinking up the
Morning Sun took me down the Old Pueblo
Road where this little ball used to run
walked up to the it’s open for channa
where my Papa steps
donde esta la people
man we were
they asked about the war said I don’t
want to talk mama said a dog how for you
I couldn’t wait to see my little dog
again but huh he’s broken heart and
passed away I went out to my 63 Chevy
drove over to Mary Lou Papa offered me a
cold beer I said thank you I’ll take two
but before I drink a single drop I have
to see a face
after one long there
[Music]
my heart is out
[Music]
Mary the way to be to cat my lettuce to
and when I hit the dark
from cannon fire
[Music]
she was my reason not to time
people call me a hero some people called
me names we didn’t know where we were
fighting for but we fought hard just
sing
through muddy jungles we ran to survive
I don’t know if I did good there but I
made it home
I still dream of Marylou the kindness
makes me grin when I use sound of eleven
[Applause]
life songs presented the day I came home
for about a thousand people at the lens
ik Theatre in Santa Fe along with ten
other works compose with our elders we
hired a band two professional musicians
and produce these pieces at the highest
level possible Tony was able to make it
to that concert and 16 of his family
members came to listen to witness what
Tony had created
they now have a singable legacy from
this kind of work is also inspiring for
the broader community everyone who
attended that concert saw the
possibility of a deeper relationship
with the elders in their lives and we
witnessed an expanded vision of the
creativity in all of us art is not just
for artists or for any particular kind
of person it is the ancient mark of our
shared humanity all of us have the
capacity to create and collaborations
between professional artists and
laypeople Canon Earth a vast spring of
creativity that usually goes untapped so
let’s get together and get creative at
any time in our lives but particularly
at the end of life we need to bring
death and dying out of the closet and
our culture needs to reconnect with the
wisdom of its elders we have layers of
stigma surrounding aging and death that
need to be lifted and overturned we also
have wisdom acquired over lifetimes
available to those who would simply
listen and we have elders yearning to
connect and create during these final
pivotal moments what better way to do it
than with a song thank you you