[Applause]
years back I was hitchhiking with my
friends in the Balkans we got lost
somewhere in Serbia now that was before
smartphones so we had to ask an actual
human being for directions but the only
one available was this big muscular guy
in tracksuit standing in front of his
house alone and not very friendly
looking we had to ask him because he was
the only one there but at the same time
we felt kind of insecure vulnerable you
know being away from any main road when
it was getting dark and all and I have
to admit I had my own reservations or
biases should I say you know a big guy
tracksuit standing alone in front of his
house and so forth middle of nowhere
countryside and on top of that I could
also see his body language clearly
saying something like mind your own
business and get off my property and I
really wanted to but there wasn’t much
of a choice so I gathered all my courage
went up to him and started by asking do
you speak English
a silent no for an answer she just shook
his head somewhat this encouraged but I
continued tried on
hablas espanol same thing shake of heads
I kept on trying
spencey Deutsch the average para ski
movies pop old-school I asked and just
about any language me or my friends knew
at the time but all I got in reply was
this silent decisive know every time and
I remember thinking to myself man that
was cold unpleasant and I was half
scared half irritated and about to turn
around and walk away
when he suddenly said parlez-vous
francais right we both laughed in that
moment when everything changed instantly
all tension disappeared I managed to
explain our situation mainly with
gestures and he the big bad guy in
tracksuit took out a little notepad and
draw us a map with a pencil see humour
is one of the few psychological
mechanisms able to do that to instantly
transform strangers into people we feel
safe around people we can trust and when
we experience humour with some with
somebody this person begins to seem less
strange and somehow more familiar it’s
because when we laugh at something with
somebody we make a number of assumptions
about that person we assume that he or
she has a similar knowledge similar
opinions and worldview like around humor
changes our perception it changes how we
see people so we also assume that this
person has a good sense of humor right
but what does good sense of humor really
mean well it means a sense of humor
similar to around basically my sense of
humor when you say this is somebody you
have a good sense of humor you mean my
sense of humor
so we start to like this person more
because a we like people who share
positive emotions with and humor and
laughed are very strong sources of that
and B we also generally like people who
sin similar to ourselves but humor can
do more than that it can actually
influence our motivations towards
strangers people we meet and we can
trace it on a very basic
they were a chemical level in our brains
namely genuine laughter releases the
SCORM own oxytocin and it’s a soothing
hormone that gives way to feelings of
affiliation and cooperation so not only
does humor makes strangers appear less
strange and more familiar but it also
makes us more willing to help them
and for me this power of humor is
especially fascinating when it comes to
interacting with people from different
cultures because strangers from
different cultures can sometimes seem
especially strange right things like how
they talk how much they talk how to use
gestures to express themselves what
clothes they were all the things that
usually guide their perceptions when we
meet people we don’t know can be
difficult to decipher hard to interpret
when meeting people from different
cultures humor laughter and smile on the
other hand are universal they have very
deep and old evolutionary roots that we
all share and we know this because we
can trace their equivalents in behaviors
of our close cousins in the animal
kingdom primates like chimpanzees and
bonobos in the picture here and thanks
to that humor laughter and smile are
recognizable everywhere and therefore
can work the perception changing magic
turning strangers into friends in every
culture in my encounter in Serbia our
initial perceptions of each other were
focused on differences I saw him as this
potentially dangerous dog and he saw me
probably as the strange foreigner with
nothing better to do than hitchhiking
all day and trespassing into his
property but the moment we laughed
together all these perceptions and
resulting judgments were suspended and I
truly believe that it was thanks
shared moment of humor that the
situation ended as it did and as it were
he helped me and I will relaxed I think
I even managed to say aurevoir when I
left and will be really nice to leave
this stage now actually finish off with
this nice little story about humour
uniting nations maybe even make a call
to action say something like we just
have to smile and laugh more with
strangers and we can put an end to all
conflicts fix the global warming but I’m
only halfway through with my talk so
smile to the world and the world will
smile back to you will it always in the
Lonely Planet guide book you can read
that you should not smile to strangers
when travelling to Poland because the
here’s a Norwegian joke for you an old
and that one was actually printed on the
back cover of a brochure published by
the Norwegian work agency naav right a
brochure for newcomers to Norway and
this may sound funny but there’s
actually some serious research backing
these anecdotes in one study researchers
investigated how people in different
cultures perceive smiling and non
smiling strangers and in particular they
asked the participants to assess the
intelligence of smiling versus non
smiling individuals on pictures and
indeed in both Poland and our way
smiling individuals were perceived as
less intelligence but only slightly in
Germany on the other hand and that may
be surprising to some of you smiling
individuals were the ones who are
perceived as more intelligent and the
difference was quite significant the
difference was also significant in Iran
but the results were the other way
around were reversed and what this study
tells us is one smiling can influence
how we perceive other people’s
intelligence all the people we meet a
rather serious personal characteristic
and an important part of the first
impression we make and to well people in
different cultures may use smile
differently smile in different
situations different contexts so for
example when you’re travelling sometimes
they may surprise you with a smile all
the times not smile back and what do we
think or feel about people who don’t
smile back right especially when we’re
the ones who’s making an effort to be
friendly and smile to them in the first
place
and it gets even more tricky with humour
and one thing about humour and
intercultural interactions is that
there’s usually somebody who
doesn’t speak their native language when
I moved to Norway I really applied
myself to learning the region and I’m a
very disciplined and quick learner
so soon I was fluent enough to
communicate almost exclusively in
Norwegian with my colleagues at work
with clients on the phone I could even
write long elaborate emails and run
workshops in Norwegian I could even
argue with clerks and public
institutions like the work agency in
Norwegian
but despite all that and at the same
time humor was often a problem my
colleagues were teasing each other and
cracking one joke after another but the
exchange was just too difficult to
follow
too many words with double meaning to
process references to politicians
celebrities and events I didn’t know
about strange jokes about Danes and
Swedes that I liked the background to
understand and to find funny to be
perfectly honest at the time and all
that at a very high tempo speed much
faster than the regular serious
communication and often times missing
just one word meant missing out on fun
and if understanding human was difficult
being able to participate actively in
humor join in like the doc was even
harder more challenging and I really
struggled with expressing the funny side
of my personality in the beginning and
because I found humor to be more
demanding more challenging than the
regular serious communication oftentimes
I just withdrew chose not to participate
and I don’t know whether my colleagues
perceived me because of that more is a
stranger a foreigner in those moments
but the paradox
here you see was that I perceived myself
more as an outsider during the moments
when the team was probably bonding the
most when they were having fun the
perception shaping power of humor was a
double-edged sword in one hand it can
make strangers appear less strange and
more familiar on the other lack or
failed humor can emphasize the
differences and yes you will have more
fun with some people than with others
perfectly natural and very likely you
will find it easier to share humor with
people who speak the same language
learned from the same books at school
watch the same TV shows growing up have
the same cultural background but the
point I’m making is this in
cross-cultural interactions there is a
failure with humor can sometimes be
higher so when it happens don’t draw too
far-fetched conclusions about yourself
or the others rather try to learn from
failures although it may be a little
difficult to learn from failed humor
especially your own failed humor in one
study a staggering 70% of participants
reported that they usually blamed others
for their own failed humour what it
means is that most of us when we tell a
joke and the other person doesn’t laugh
we go and blame that person maybe I
assume that he or she doesn’t have a
good sense of humor right but it’s not
natural to learn from failed humor
because it’s not natural to think
consciously about humor at all we take
it for granted something or somebody
there is or isn’t funny humor successful
or otherwise does not make us stop
fact we’re not interested or maybe we’re
also a little afraid that thinking about
humor will kill the fun as it was
famously expressed by an American writer
EB White analyzing humor is a little bit
like dissecting a frog
few people are interested and the
patient dies in the end now I disagree
obviously and I think that reflecting
about how we use humor and how it shapes
our perceptions won’t kill all the fun
rather it may yet turn more strangers
from different cultures into France
thank you [Applause]
years back I was hitchhiking with my
friends in the Balkans we got lost
somewhere in Serbia now that was before
smartphones so we had to ask an actual
human being for directions but the only
one available was this big muscular guy
in tracksuit standing in front of his
house alone and not very friendly
looking we had to ask him because he was
the only one there but at the same time
we felt kind of insecure vulnerable you
know being away from any main road when
it was getting dark and all and I have
to admit I had my own reservations or
biases should I say you know a big guy
tracksuit standing alone in front of his
house and so forth middle of nowhere
countryside and on top of that I could
also see his body language clearly
saying something like mind your own
business and get off my property and I
really wanted to but there wasn’t much
of a choice so I gathered all my courage
went up to him and started by asking do
you speak English
a silent no for an answer she just shook
his head somewhat this encouraged but I
continued tried on
hablas espanol same thing shake of heads
I kept on trying
spencey Deutsch the average para ski
movies pop old-school I asked and just
about any language me or my friends knew
at the time but all I got in reply was
this silent decisive know every time and
I remember thinking to myself man that
was cold unpleasant and I was half
scared half irritated and about to turn
around and walk away
when he suddenly said parlez-vous
francais right we both laughed in that
moment when everything changed instantly
all tension disappeared I managed to
explain our situation mainly with
gestures and he the big bad guy in
tracksuit took out a little notepad and
draw us a map with a pencil see humour
is one of the few psychological
mechanisms able to do that to instantly
transform strangers into people we feel
safe around people we can trust and when
we experience humour with some with
somebody this person begins to seem less
strange and somehow more familiar it’s
because when we laugh at something with
somebody we make a number of assumptions
about that person we assume that he or
she has a similar knowledge similar
opinions and worldview like around humor
changes our perception it changes how we
see people so we also assume that this
person has a good sense of humor right
but what does good sense of humor really
mean well it means a sense of humor
similar to around basically my sense of
humor when you say this is somebody you
have a good sense of humor you mean my
sense of humor
so we start to like this person more
because a we like people who share
positive emotions with and humor and
laughed are very strong sources of that
and B we also generally like people who
sin similar to ourselves but humor can
do more than that it can actually
influence our motivations towards
strangers people we meet and we can
trace it on a very basic
they were a chemical level in our brains
namely genuine laughter releases the
SCORM own oxytocin and it’s a soothing
hormone that gives way to feelings of
affiliation and cooperation so not only
does humor makes strangers appear less
strange and more familiar but it also
makes us more willing to help them
and for me this power of humor is
especially fascinating when it comes to
interacting with people from different
cultures because strangers from
different cultures can sometimes seem
especially strange right things like how
they talk how much they talk how to use
gestures to express themselves what
clothes they were all the things that
usually guide their perceptions when we
meet people we don’t know can be
difficult to decipher hard to interpret
when meeting people from different
cultures humor laughter and smile on the
other hand are universal they have very
deep and old evolutionary roots that we
all share and we know this because we
can trace their equivalents in behaviors
of our close cousins in the animal
kingdom primates like chimpanzees and
bonobos in the picture here and thanks
to that humor laughter and smile are
recognizable everywhere and therefore
can work the perception changing magic
turning strangers into friends in every
culture in my encounter in Serbia our
initial perceptions of each other were
focused on differences I saw him as this
potentially dangerous dog and he saw me
probably as the strange foreigner with
nothing better to do than hitchhiking
all day and trespassing into his
property but the moment we laughed
together all these perceptions and
resulting judgments were suspended and I
truly believe that it was thanks
shared moment of humor that the
situation ended as it did and as it were
he helped me and I will relaxed I think
I even managed to say aurevoir when I
left and will be really nice to leave
this stage now actually finish off with
this nice little story about humour
uniting nations maybe even make a call
to action say something like we just
have to smile and laugh more with
strangers and we can put an end to all
conflicts fix the global warming but I’m
only halfway through with my talk so
smile to the world and the world will
smile back to you will it always in the
Lonely Planet guide book you can read
that you should not smile to strangers
when travelling to Poland because the
here’s a Norwegian joke for you an old
and that one was actually printed on the
back cover of a brochure published by
the Norwegian work agency naav right a
brochure for newcomers to Norway and
this may sound funny but there’s
actually some serious research backing
these anecdotes in one study researchers
investigated how people in different
cultures perceive smiling and non
smiling strangers and in particular they
asked the participants to assess the
intelligence of smiling versus non
smiling individuals on pictures and
indeed in both Poland and our way
smiling individuals were perceived as
less intelligence but only slightly in
Germany on the other hand and that may
be surprising to some of you smiling
individuals were the ones who are
perceived as more intelligent and the
difference was quite significant the
difference was also significant in Iran
but the results were the other way
around were reversed and what this study
tells us is one smiling can influence
how we perceive other people’s
intelligence all the people we meet a
rather serious personal characteristic
and an important part of the first
impression we make and to well people in
different cultures may use smile
differently smile in different
situations different contexts so for
example when you’re travelling sometimes
they may surprise you with a smile all
the times not smile back and what do we
think or feel about people who don’t
smile back right especially when we’re
the ones who’s making an effort to be
friendly and smile to them in the first
place
and it gets even more tricky with humour
and one thing about humour and
intercultural interactions is that
there’s usually somebody who
doesn’t speak their native language when
I moved to Norway I really applied
myself to learning the region and I’m a
very disciplined and quick learner
so soon I was fluent enough to
communicate almost exclusively in
Norwegian with my colleagues at work
with clients on the phone I could even
write long elaborate emails and run
workshops in Norwegian I could even
argue with clerks and public
institutions like the work agency in
Norwegian
but despite all that and at the same
time humor was often a problem my
colleagues were teasing each other and
cracking one joke after another but the
exchange was just too difficult to
follow
too many words with double meaning to
process references to politicians
celebrities and events I didn’t know
about strange jokes about Danes and
Swedes that I liked the background to
understand and to find funny to be
perfectly honest at the time and all
that at a very high tempo speed much
faster than the regular serious
communication and often times missing
just one word meant missing out on fun
and if understanding human was difficult
being able to participate actively in
humor join in like the doc was even
harder more challenging and I really
struggled with expressing the funny side
of my personality in the beginning and
because I found humor to be more
demanding more challenging than the
regular serious communication oftentimes
I just withdrew chose not to participate
and I don’t know whether my colleagues
perceived me because of that more is a
stranger a foreigner in those moments
but the paradox
here you see was that I perceived myself
more as an outsider during the moments
when the team was probably bonding the
most when they were having fun the
perception shaping power of humor was a
double-edged sword in one hand it can
make strangers appear less strange and
more familiar on the other lack or
failed humor can emphasize the
differences and yes you will have more
fun with some people than with others
perfectly natural and very likely you
will find it easier to share humor with
people who speak the same language
learned from the same books at school
watch the same TV shows growing up have
the same cultural background but the
point I’m making is this in
cross-cultural interactions there is a
failure with humor can sometimes be
higher so when it happens don’t draw too
far-fetched conclusions about yourself
or the others rather try to learn from
failures although it may be a little
difficult to learn from failed humor
especially your own failed humor in one
study a staggering 70% of participants
reported that they usually blamed others
for their own failed humour what it
means is that most of us when we tell a
joke and the other person doesn’t laugh
we go and blame that person maybe I
assume that he or she doesn’t have a
good sense of humor right but it’s not
natural to learn from failed humor
because it’s not natural to think
consciously about humor at all we take
it for granted something or somebody
there is or isn’t funny humor successful
or otherwise does not make us stop
fact we’re not interested or maybe we’re
also a little afraid that thinking about
humor will kill the fun as it was
famously expressed by an American writer
EB White analyzing humor is a little bit
like dissecting a frog
few people are interested and the
patient dies in the end now I disagree
obviously and I think that reflecting
about how we use humor and how it shapes
our perceptions won’t kill all the fun
rather it may yet turn more strangers
from different cultures into France
thank you [Applause]
Please follow and like us: