over five months walking along the river
searching for my brother’s body he had
committed suicide by joining this period
of time as you can imagine was really
traumatic and it was actually it’s
actually really surreal he looked back
and annoyed with hindsight because I
came from busy career in London in human
rights advocacy and then suddenly came
home to Derry and had nothing to do all
day every day except you search along
the river for his body and it took us
five months but we did find him he was
washed up on a beach and on the goal but
because the life was very simple for
those five months I used to get up every
morning I would get the well he’s on I
would have the raincoat on and I just be
walking that was all I was doing and it
gave me a lot of time to think and
reflect so during this period of
reflection I really began to think a lot
about the lives of my brother and myself
we’d grown up in exactly the same family
but we’d had completely and utterly
different paths in life and I started
thinking a lot about our childhood it
would have been a very tough childhood
we would have witnessed a lot of
domestic violence and even one of my
first memories was a particularly
serious incidents in Patrick’s Day and
I’ve never been able to enjoy some
patrick’s day ever since there would
have been a lot of moving around every
few months we’ve been moving house
theatres childhood and we would have
been quite socially excluded as well and
my brother’s case and he would have been
worse very withdrawn but in my case and
I was really lucky I got on to go to a
grammar school I got one of those I
passed it the national exam to go and
study at a grammar school but no one
known as the parents wanted their kids
to be friends with me because I was from
a really rough background and in terms
of daily life it would have been things
like the elctricity being cut off you
know fended for food things like that so
at the outset looking at looking at both
our lives at that age our lives would
have been quite predestined I suppose
you know what in terms of our upbringing
you you probably could have predicted a
path but then we had very different
paths after that and he he would have
left school at 16 he was
really really bright kid really really
Sparky and bright but he would have just
because of the circumstances low
confidence no I don’t ever believe not
him he would have left school with no
qualifications and then he would have
been unemployed for five years and until
he died whereas I was able to get
educated go off study law training law
so we had really different paths and
thinking about it during this period I
wondered what was the key difference
between myself and him and as I saw it
that the key variable was the fact that
it has time of his death he felt he had
no choices in life was I felt I had lots
and lots and lots of choices and then I
thought why why did he have choice why
did I have choices and he didn’t have
choices and what I what I realized the
analyst it was because of self belief
and even though the circumstances that I
grew up in
we’re very difficult I always knew in my
head I always had a belief that my life
was gonna be completely different I knew
that that was going to drive me forward
education was going to be the way that I
was going to change my path in life so I
suppose what I first realized that I had
this self belief I was 14 years old and
I was in school as I said I was very
socially excluded I wasn’t what kind of
a kid I would have been the typical nerd
always stuck in a corner with my head in
a book and and what I realized was I was
terrible at sports like absolutely
appalling you know I wouldn’t I would
have been miles and miles behind
everyone else or the athletic people and
I decided I was gonna try and get good
at sports one sport I was gonna pick a
sport and I was gonna get on the school
team so I thought I’ll go for a nice
solid or his fourth so I don’t have to
worry about other people throw-in the
ball to me like a netballer ga because
that’s completely out of my hands
whether I can get good at that or not so
I thought I’d go for a nice hard sport
I’ll go for cross-country running if I
was really bad at that so I decided I’m
gonna start training I’m gonna get on
the school team there were six spots on
the team and I was gonna get one of
those spots some way so I started
training and at the start and for a very
long time I was still really terrible so
like the skill that I was at it was on a
big bag hell so at lunchtime we’d all
run the team under the people other
people like himself trying to get on the
team would
tradin and you began off the hill and i
would be miles and miles and miles
behind everyone else and I was actually
sometimes hope when they don’t for lapis
look as if I was just the same and it
was you know it was it was really bad I
remember I used to get to the top of the
hill and hide behind a bush so I could
catch my breath before I started again
because a lot of people will be sitting
outside having their lunch in the grass
and they could see you so you were
really and everyone could see you see
you and see how bad you were in my case
and they even actually gave me an award
and at the end of the year when they
have the awards and everyone was getting
all these great awards and you know the
athletic teams they gave me one for
gutsiness because I was so terrible but
I stuck at it and you know they couldn’t
believe that I was still stuck at it and
I used to go I remember I used to go out
training around the estate where I lived
it’s half 6:00 in the morning
if I wanted to get some extra training
and I was actually petrified so I
thought I’m gonna be attacked because
it’s pitch black and I’m running around
in the dark for us it was great it was
darks nero could see how bad it was but
eventually you know i I was still I
wasn’t great that I was getting a wee
bit better but I remember then one day
the coach came to me and she said look
what is the team has been injured we’ve
got a spot on the team do you want to be
in the team I said Wow
yes course I would have read in a team
of course so I got on the team and I was
all delighted with myself
and eventually I got better and better
and but what I realized through that
experience was it was actually that
belief that self belief which drove me
forward and which which enabled me to
get better and not actually translated
under all the other areas of my life
then I was a straight-a student and
ended off getting top marks in in the
country in the National exams I’m gonna
have to be law and then went off to
Brussels to work and then London but it
was actually that self belief which
which I realized that made it made a
difference and in my life that my
brother didn’t have so following on from
that when my brother died I founded an
organization do you work with young
people who don’t have as many choices in
life to try and work with Md instill and
them self belief so that they would have
more choices in life so we work with
young people from backgrounds where
there’s zero employment
the family with their 0 history of
education attainment some of them irfan
in the care system some of them there
might be addiction in the family or
other issues but that’s the old people
that we work with and it does work and
I’ve got so many hundreds of stories
that I could tell about Hawaii and stone
self-belief and these young people has
enabled them to access education and
choices and other opportunities but I’m
just going to tell maybe a few today so
one of the young people that I work with
at the start I used to go run the skills
asking for recommendations from the
principals of young people who benefit
from the program it’s a highly intensive
three-year program and I remember in one
of the schools she said no one’s
interested in the program at all except
this one guy but you but you don’t want
him you know he’s with new hope for him
he’s you don’t want him and when I
actually got over my shock this is what
she was saying and I thought this is
exactly the kind of guy that we need to
work with and so we started working with
them over a two or three year period
really intensively and I’m not really
pleased to say that he’s actually in
college at the moment he study in
psychology he was the first in his
family to do as lead and sir and he’s
also he found his fondest voice and he’s
really he’s really interested in the
area of mental health as a result of his
own experiences and he’s now in mental
health out because he was only on the TV
nationally last week he does a lot of
speaking at national conferences he’s
always in the media and the radio and
the newspapers and it’s it’s really
ironic that the guy that the principal
had no hope for is actually bringing
hope to other young people in Ireland
another example of a gear and she when
she first came with us
she had no confidence in herself and she
had lost both her parents when she was
really young 3 or 4 they both died from
drug addictions and her in her 13
brothers and sisters were all spread out
through the care system and had no
contact with each other so when she
first came to work with us she had no
aspirations and some of her older
siblings were actually living in the
streets of Dublin homeless so she really
thought like what can I do with my life
and and the hardest thing with her was
actually identifying what her
aspirations were and but she realized
that what she was really passionate
about was the tourism industry so I’m
really pleased to say no she’s at
to pursue further education and in
tourism management since she’s following
her dream but as I said the hardest
thing for her was actually identifying
what that dream was I know their guy and
when he started working with us and he
didn’t really know what he wanted to do
either both his parents were on social
welfare he was thinking maybe I’ll leave
school and work in a factory or a shop
or whatever but we could see straight
away he was really really sharp and we
started kind of pursuing out with them
and he realized he was really passionate
about the politics and law and
governance and we really encourage that
in him and I really pleased to say he’s
actually nine Trinity College doing law
and politics which is one of the hardest
courses to get nd in the country and
that was through pursuing a feat a
qualification first of all you know
there is these paths it doesn’t it
hasn’t always linear and by doing a few
other courses first he was able to get
into this course which is amazing and
he’s also a really strong interest in
encouraging other young people to access
education against the odds he comes from
an area where there’s a lot of gang
activity and violence and there’s only
16 percent of young people in his area
which are able to access further and
higher education in 2016 so that’s
something he’s really passionate about
he’s he does a lot of programs at the
moment he’s involved in Trinities with
our access programs he’s all about
encouraging other young people and to be
able to access you know these kind of
opportunities and then finally just one
more Garrett I like to talk about and
she when she first joined the program
she would have been very very withdrawn
she would have been very quiet her hair
doing and there was a lot of stuff going
on in her family background you know you
know as a result of kennefa impacted on
her confidence and but what we find was
that she was an incredible leader in the
program and all the other young people
would have really looked up to her and
so she would have again not really what
I thought she was going to stay on her
principal actually told me to take her
because they were going to chuck her out
of school if we didn’t take her in our
program and so she said she wasn’t
really think she never thought of
herself in an educational mindset she
just thought that’s not for me and but
we encouraged her she was – you then
became the first in her whole family
do the Junior sir she was the first no
family did he leave insert I know she’s
actually pursuing further education and
in youth work but the thing that really
the really sticks out for me about this
this young person was when she was like
waiting on her leaving set results last
year she did an interview on national
radio and the presenter said you know
how do you think you’ve done you got it
pass your exams and she said I don’t
know I don’t really think so but you
know what it actually doesn’t matter he
said I’m gonna be somebody anyway
regardless of whether I pass the exam
this year she said I know that I’m gonna
be successful no matter what I do she
did pass their exams which is brilliant
but it was that it was that mentality
that she know had she had a complete
self belief in herself that she would
get there no matter what and so that’s
the idea that I wanted to share with you
today that if we can encourage our young
people to have belief in their cells
they can go on and access other
opportunities that might be education
but it’s also about ensuring that they
can be happy and successful in whatever
whatever they do and by opening up these
roots to them they can make choices in
life which a lot of these young people
don’t have thank you
you [Music]