Joseph Campbell once said the privilege
of a lifetime is being who you are and
truly what an honor it is to be you to
have this life to experience the miracle
of it all through your eyes every
struggle every triumph every tear every
belly laugh everything you have
encountered has led you to the seat
you’re sitting in right now the late
mythologist lecturer believed that
within us our living stories many yet to
be told
I have always been fascinated with
perception the idea that two people can
look at the same thing and see
completely different things has sent me
on a lifelong journey to unearth some
possibilities I often think about how
this happens in our everyday lives
how is it that people can come away with
such a distinct difference in
interpretation
we see this in unrequited love in
memories shared among siblings and even
and things as simple as color the dress
the infamous dress that is it blue and
black or gold and white dress full-on
debates crash the internet and people
all over the world chimed in to
passionately defend their perception
each side thought the other was
absolutely nuts
when it was revealed later that the
dress was indeed blue and black and it
was the lighting mixed with the inter
workings of the human eye and brain the
camps were still divided people were
still unrelenting and tied to their
perceptions as a facilitator and a
professor I have had the honor of
working with thousands of people who
work with young people and they do it
because they genuinely love what they do
it’s difficult and complex work and my
role has been to help them to embrace
their particular style and way of
being and also to build connections with
others one way I do this is by asking
them a single question what is your
legacy and legacy I don’t mean in the
traditional sense it’s not in something
that they will physically leave behind
it’s an idea of sorts it’s in what they
see what do they see as most important
for young people to have a successful
life it’s a proverb of sorts an idea
passed down as a treasure and the
answers are all different they’re
colored by experiences the answer
depends on whose eyes to give you an
idea of the responses they generally
fall into certain categories for some
they believe knowledge is most important
in life for others it’s the ability to
have humor and to embrace life’s
absurdities for others it’s the courage
to persevere despite constant struggle
and for others it’s the ability and to
have compassion that compassion is
actually life’s greatest tool now all of
these are important as they create a
bigger picture it’s just a slight
difference in vantage point through
dialogue and as we explored the hopes
and fears behind each perspective the
motivations became clearer and they
realize not only did they have more in
common than they thought but by being
open and inclusive it made the work that
much richer so how do you take on
another’s point of view without being
mindful we often get this wrong we have
assumptions of others motivations and
behaviors and we fill in the blanks just
like the dress which can lead us into
false judgements research shows that
were not great at this all the time we
construct our own perceptions based on a
variety of factors including our past
experiences
empathy is typically referred to as the
ability to walk in another shoes we hear
it all the time I disagree I think it’s
the ability to see what others do behind
their eyes it’s in your eyes think of
your everyday experiences driving is
always a popular one right you’re in a
rush to work for the third time this
week and out of nowhere someone comes
and cuts you off and you miss the light
you have a rush of anger and you mumble
obscenities under your breath you try
and get yourself together as you
continue on your way you notice that the
same car that cut you off way back here
is now on the side of the road they have
a flat tire now your perception of the
driver may have shifted to one of
concern or maybe even a little sympathy
or maybe you just thought it with karma
what if you knew more about the
motivations or intentions of the driver
what if somehow later you found out that
they were actually rushing to biess with
someone who was going to take their last
breath or they were dealing with an
unruly toddler with special needs in the
backseat we sometimes have an empathy
bullied we unknowingly seek out and
support our own agendas even in the best
of intentions it’s human we secretly
superimpose our own ideas of how the
world works and we are rubbed the wrong
way when someone doesn’t do what we
would do and how we would do it and this
happens everywhere it happens in the
office it happens in our relationships
it happens in our families think of that
well-meaning family member that every
time you see them they remind you that
that project you’re working so hard on
is never going to make you any money and
what are you going to get married are
you tired of being alone it’s not that
the advice is ill intended necessarily
it’s just that it’s their perception of
what happiness looks like what if we had
action intelligence the ability and the
willingness to acknowledge when our
perceptions may need shifting to make
that shift the work of Carl Jung and
later Carol Pearson identified patterns
of behavior that show up in the movies
that we watch and the novels that we
read but also in our everyday lives and
the supporting characters we encounter
every day these are called archetypes
archetypes are distinct set of
motivations and hopes and fears and
they’re characterized in a way that it
gives us some insight into what it means
to be human
archetypes gives us a platform to
explore what others might be seeing even
if it sounds foreign to us
for example the sage archetype is
motivated by seeking knowledge and the
truth the jester archetype is motivated
by bringing levity into the now and
brings joy in our lives the warrior
archetype is motivated by perseverance
and conquering goals and the lover
archetype is motivated by bringing
passion and beauty into our lives it
sounds familiar
being human means that we have the
potential for all of them within us that
even though we take different journeys
to get there and can look it can look
very multifaceted that’s okay a shift in
perception then becomes an opportunity
for growth a moment to reflect the gift
of a genuine connection or an invitation
to play what I’ve learned from my
students is that we have to embrace our
own perceptions and share them with
others so that we can embrace theirs by
telling our stories what’s behind our
eyes we build bridges of empathy and by
you celebrating who you are and
genuinely connecting to the people that
are around you and the strangers you
will have yet to meet you are also
building those bridges so I’ll ask you
what is your legacy
it’s not in the wealth that you’ll
require it’s not in anything physical
that you’ll leave behind it’s in your
eyes thank you
[Applause]
you
of a lifetime is being who you are and
truly what an honor it is to be you to
have this life to experience the miracle
of it all through your eyes every
struggle every triumph every tear every
belly laugh everything you have
encountered has led you to the seat
you’re sitting in right now the late
mythologist lecturer believed that
within us our living stories many yet to
be told
I have always been fascinated with
perception the idea that two people can
look at the same thing and see
completely different things has sent me
on a lifelong journey to unearth some
possibilities I often think about how
this happens in our everyday lives
how is it that people can come away with
such a distinct difference in
interpretation
we see this in unrequited love in
memories shared among siblings and even
and things as simple as color the dress
the infamous dress that is it blue and
black or gold and white dress full-on
debates crash the internet and people
all over the world chimed in to
passionately defend their perception
each side thought the other was
absolutely nuts
when it was revealed later that the
dress was indeed blue and black and it
was the lighting mixed with the inter
workings of the human eye and brain the
camps were still divided people were
still unrelenting and tied to their
perceptions as a facilitator and a
professor I have had the honor of
working with thousands of people who
work with young people and they do it
because they genuinely love what they do
it’s difficult and complex work and my
role has been to help them to embrace
their particular style and way of
being and also to build connections with
others one way I do this is by asking
them a single question what is your
legacy and legacy I don’t mean in the
traditional sense it’s not in something
that they will physically leave behind
it’s an idea of sorts it’s in what they
see what do they see as most important
for young people to have a successful
life it’s a proverb of sorts an idea
passed down as a treasure and the
answers are all different they’re
colored by experiences the answer
depends on whose eyes to give you an
idea of the responses they generally
fall into certain categories for some
they believe knowledge is most important
in life for others it’s the ability to
have humor and to embrace life’s
absurdities for others it’s the courage
to persevere despite constant struggle
and for others it’s the ability and to
have compassion that compassion is
actually life’s greatest tool now all of
these are important as they create a
bigger picture it’s just a slight
difference in vantage point through
dialogue and as we explored the hopes
and fears behind each perspective the
motivations became clearer and they
realize not only did they have more in
common than they thought but by being
open and inclusive it made the work that
much richer so how do you take on
another’s point of view without being
mindful we often get this wrong we have
assumptions of others motivations and
behaviors and we fill in the blanks just
like the dress which can lead us into
false judgements research shows that
were not great at this all the time we
construct our own perceptions based on a
variety of factors including our past
experiences
empathy is typically referred to as the
ability to walk in another shoes we hear
it all the time I disagree I think it’s
the ability to see what others do behind
their eyes it’s in your eyes think of
your everyday experiences driving is
always a popular one right you’re in a
rush to work for the third time this
week and out of nowhere someone comes
and cuts you off and you miss the light
you have a rush of anger and you mumble
obscenities under your breath you try
and get yourself together as you
continue on your way you notice that the
same car that cut you off way back here
is now on the side of the road they have
a flat tire now your perception of the
driver may have shifted to one of
concern or maybe even a little sympathy
or maybe you just thought it with karma
what if you knew more about the
motivations or intentions of the driver
what if somehow later you found out that
they were actually rushing to biess with
someone who was going to take their last
breath or they were dealing with an
unruly toddler with special needs in the
backseat we sometimes have an empathy
bullied we unknowingly seek out and
support our own agendas even in the best
of intentions it’s human we secretly
superimpose our own ideas of how the
world works and we are rubbed the wrong
way when someone doesn’t do what we
would do and how we would do it and this
happens everywhere it happens in the
office it happens in our relationships
it happens in our families think of that
well-meaning family member that every
time you see them they remind you that
that project you’re working so hard on
is never going to make you any money and
what are you going to get married are
you tired of being alone it’s not that
the advice is ill intended necessarily
it’s just that it’s their perception of
what happiness looks like what if we had
action intelligence the ability and the
willingness to acknowledge when our
perceptions may need shifting to make
that shift the work of Carl Jung and
later Carol Pearson identified patterns
of behavior that show up in the movies
that we watch and the novels that we
read but also in our everyday lives and
the supporting characters we encounter
every day these are called archetypes
archetypes are distinct set of
motivations and hopes and fears and
they’re characterized in a way that it
gives us some insight into what it means
to be human
archetypes gives us a platform to
explore what others might be seeing even
if it sounds foreign to us
for example the sage archetype is
motivated by seeking knowledge and the
truth the jester archetype is motivated
by bringing levity into the now and
brings joy in our lives the warrior
archetype is motivated by perseverance
and conquering goals and the lover
archetype is motivated by bringing
passion and beauty into our lives it
sounds familiar
being human means that we have the
potential for all of them within us that
even though we take different journeys
to get there and can look it can look
very multifaceted that’s okay a shift in
perception then becomes an opportunity
for growth a moment to reflect the gift
of a genuine connection or an invitation
to play what I’ve learned from my
students is that we have to embrace our
own perceptions and share them with
others so that we can embrace theirs by
telling our stories what’s behind our
eyes we build bridges of empathy and by
you celebrating who you are and
genuinely connecting to the people that
are around you and the strangers you
will have yet to meet you are also
building those bridges so I’ll ask you
what is your legacy
it’s not in the wealth that you’ll
require it’s not in anything physical
that you’ll leave behind it’s in your
eyes thank you
[Applause]
you
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