I guess um we respected a TED platform
and everybody else came out today and
bought ticket I have not prepared a talk
I’ve just come here to speak to you
about something that I genuinely believe
is important I don’t think I can do that
if I’ve prepared the talk so I didn’t I
didn’t and I want to use this time to
kind of just discuss or show you exactly
what it means to be this collar this
high this build and what that means to
navigate in the world and how you find
yourself in certain corners and boxes
now I had a conversation with I got on a
train I just like this every day I
haven’t just thought for you guys by the
way even so I got on the train looking
quite spiffy if I do say so myself and
to to what noise got on the train off to
me and he sat opposite me
and I was listening to my headphones and
one of the guys got my attention and
kind of just said to me hey I think he
looked really good I think of styles
amazing and I was like thank you
appreciate a little bit later down into
the conversation we started talking
about how he just bought a house in
Birmingham how he just married his wife
and she’s from London he’s originally
from New Zealand and all these other
different things
and then the conversation somehow I made
it onto race now I didn’t provoke the
conversation to be that way but I guess
he felt like as a white male it’s
important to discuss that with black
people and don’t ask me why but just
consider if that is your narrative that
is what you have to talk about 99% at
the time or you can expect that to come
up in conversation 99% at a time you
have a conversation with somebody who
doesn’t look like you because a
conversation with somebody who does look
like you
you’re even gonna provoke it and it’s
gonna be a conversation you have
mutually or it’s come that way so we had
this conversation and towards the middle
of the conversation I now can’t even see
you as a genuine person I see you as
somebody who’s profiled me and that’s
unfortunate
that’s that’s saddened me inside and I
can imagine a lot of people like me
throw the same way now there aren’t many
people like me in the audience as I look
around and that is another thing that I
have to kind of navigate and deal with
as a person knowing that the
representation of people like me not
necessarily on platforms like this
because they accept and understand
everyone in different shapes forms creed
sizes but generally in life that is a
representation of life to me it is hard
and it is difficult and it’s not always
your fault nature versus nurture and
understanding of what that means and how
even those two things are not everything
is a choice sometimes you feel forced
into your choices and feelings are not
things that you can control so generally
speaking and specifically speaking it’s
difficult it’s not easy why were you not
talking to me and I we had the
conversation and I kind of explained to
him why were you not talking to me about
how much you love your wife how big your
loft is because he likes to convert
lofts how big your loft is how beautiful
your daughter is how what you want to do
when she starts to walk how like what
how natural area is where you live in
the house that you bought in Birmingham
which I congratulated him about
obviously so he kind of looked back at
me with just awe and said you know what
I genuinely thought I was doing the
right thing and I apologized I said it’s
not for you to say sorry is for you to
walk with this energy that I’ve given
you and understand that the next time
you see somebody that looks like me how
much of a corner you back them into when
you start conversations like that
thinking you’re doing the right thing
I’ve buried some of my friends I’ve had
people in my life that didn’t have an
opportunity to live this I’ve been to
Cobb Scouts made friends there
and less than 10 years later I had to
hear that they’ve died because of all
the energy that’s been transferred onto
certain people in my life and that I
grew up with that has ended and their
communities and their friends that has
ended up becoming and transferring and
manipulating itself into aggression and
all of the profiles that a young black
male like myself might have on him so
I’m gonna tell you a story and this
story isn’t about me it’s an
amalgamation of all the things that have
repeatedly been viewed by myself as an
objective person in a situation from
where I’ve grown up to how something
like nature versus nurture can be really
really balanced against what a lot of
people perceive to be your choices it
goes like this and it’s called led to a
dealer and it’s on the careers my EP if
you wanted to check that out from day
one he was young proper innocent little
you with his airmax and an unhealthy
love from his peers to go in school
coming home getting changed in his room
not shower then he straight back out to
go kick a ball or running around it ends
with the rest of his little crew would
not I’m better do them play money up on
the wall or even not bound ginger when
his neighbor’s law that was one game
that he surely had a favor for but his
friends would always dare him to do what
he never wanted them for fear of not
remaining accepting he wasn’t honest
with himself and started getting caught
up in that cyclonic mad peer pressure
spiral very few ever stop it
growing up he started leaving home late
most days stop calling and texting to
say he’s coming home safe get him back
awakened his mum smelling a skunk or
just a no way it was some of my friends
when she asked coldly but she knew she
couldn’t say another word the whole day
she already found them baggies he tried
to hide in his old games with a picture
that he drew she couldn’t bring us off
the throw away with a corner torn off in
a strip that he used for Roach Papes
it’s mad when you lie to the people you
love for hopes sake but crazy when you
look at yourself and lie to your own
face it’s mad when you lie to the people
you love for hopes sake but crazy when
you look at yourself and lie to your own
face passive-aggression started getting
a better now disagree much turned to
argument somehow ending in growls real
loud no
listens but everyone wants to shout and
eventually was already them getting
kicked out his house no job and he got
thrown out and you need for poor
attendance and aggression in his
counseling sessions they put him out
that we genuinely feels like he’s got
starting to prove because his dad knew
but kept the doors locked when he came
around had his own agenda last time they
saw each other he don’t remember
periodic hourly visits but he won’t no
offenders true you paid her ultimate
sacrifice when you have a child but when
it’s selling children and dream work on
the local tender so he called it girl we
linked last month because she lives on
her own and was sprung off their loss
you knew it wouldn’t last long but
emotions were high money was low and in
regards to resort she was the last one
so he stayed and started dealing to keep
up with the apartment they got close she
ended up getting pregnant he was the
father I saw before she knew he went the
dad but couldn’t bear that confessing
what she’d done their relationship it
would tear that because she long fell in
love but she knew that he wouldn’t hear
that she got drunk at one party he
happened to not me there’re vomiting in
the toilet with someone holding their
hair back then either one-night stand
with our childhood crush bareback now
he’s dealing to support a household he
never built with a woman too scared to
admit that she wasn’t real there’s a lot
of brothers shot and it’s wrong and it’s
evil still but a deal isn’t born from
the door so consider this a letter to
that mail that’s posted up on the
block’s
by the shops dealing with all them grams
chilling back by the flats perceived to
be in a gang just doing it for his kid I
released the one a baby mom lost and got
and believing that he’s the dad if you
hit a big stop by conceiving another
plan it’s not short shot move is deeper
than all of that it’s not nonstop blue
is steeper than all of that it’s never
short time but you needed your Spiller
firm you’re doing more than any
nine-to-five could ever pay you but your
aims have gotten buried beneath for all
and it’s mad because your boys got a
land in your meetings all overlap he
doesn’t like the fact that you’re eating
what you could have you never thought
your gob stealing away your plan but
that’s what happens when those green
eyed demons invading camps cause
someone’s gonna crack and show their
true colors because it’s golden to the
greens got a brother see and read then
it’s white lights deaf and people who
dressed in black or blue gloves silver
cuffs and police all up in your flat
like a 20 for backup mums
nothing to account for and when they ask
you what you’re doing now you never
sound sure because JSA is the only
legitimate pu bag so you revert and
start running them packages in
them scams you buy an app offer the hood
that goes deep so your family don’t know
it she won a street and that you
snitched on you don’t clock him on a
beef before you know you’re going ot for
a little cash more regular now you’re
being treated when you bring it back
because you realize that you’re up and
you’re secretly feeling gassed had a
taste and I you’re hungry and really
it’s kind of sad cuz you never wanted
this but isn’t all we see in a bag no
one said it would be easy your feelings
of all intact by now your son don’t know
you your mom don’t phone you and there’s
no one that you feel like you can run or
go to because no one understands what
you’ve done or go through it’s a vicious
little cycle that’s breeding another
batch the system broke down in a tree
and a brother bad it goes round two
you’re under the ground or in a van with
your wallet your belt on your keys all
up in a bag a now you’re locked up in a
cage and they’re feeding you from the
my brother they’re feeding you from the
hand well when that lion pops in your
peas are all in a stack it’s hard to
escape there’s a reason it’s called a
trap thank you
[Music] [Applause]
and everybody else came out today and
bought ticket I have not prepared a talk
I’ve just come here to speak to you
about something that I genuinely believe
is important I don’t think I can do that
if I’ve prepared the talk so I didn’t I
didn’t and I want to use this time to
kind of just discuss or show you exactly
what it means to be this collar this
high this build and what that means to
navigate in the world and how you find
yourself in certain corners and boxes
now I had a conversation with I got on a
train I just like this every day I
haven’t just thought for you guys by the
way even so I got on the train looking
quite spiffy if I do say so myself and
to to what noise got on the train off to
me and he sat opposite me
and I was listening to my headphones and
one of the guys got my attention and
kind of just said to me hey I think he
looked really good I think of styles
amazing and I was like thank you
appreciate a little bit later down into
the conversation we started talking
about how he just bought a house in
Birmingham how he just married his wife
and she’s from London he’s originally
from New Zealand and all these other
different things
and then the conversation somehow I made
it onto race now I didn’t provoke the
conversation to be that way but I guess
he felt like as a white male it’s
important to discuss that with black
people and don’t ask me why but just
consider if that is your narrative that
is what you have to talk about 99% at
the time or you can expect that to come
up in conversation 99% at a time you
have a conversation with somebody who
doesn’t look like you because a
conversation with somebody who does look
like you
you’re even gonna provoke it and it’s
gonna be a conversation you have
mutually or it’s come that way so we had
this conversation and towards the middle
of the conversation I now can’t even see
you as a genuine person I see you as
somebody who’s profiled me and that’s
unfortunate
that’s that’s saddened me inside and I
can imagine a lot of people like me
throw the same way now there aren’t many
people like me in the audience as I look
around and that is another thing that I
have to kind of navigate and deal with
as a person knowing that the
representation of people like me not
necessarily on platforms like this
because they accept and understand
everyone in different shapes forms creed
sizes but generally in life that is a
representation of life to me it is hard
and it is difficult and it’s not always
your fault nature versus nurture and
understanding of what that means and how
even those two things are not everything
is a choice sometimes you feel forced
into your choices and feelings are not
things that you can control so generally
speaking and specifically speaking it’s
difficult it’s not easy why were you not
talking to me and I we had the
conversation and I kind of explained to
him why were you not talking to me about
how much you love your wife how big your
loft is because he likes to convert
lofts how big your loft is how beautiful
your daughter is how what you want to do
when she starts to walk how like what
how natural area is where you live in
the house that you bought in Birmingham
which I congratulated him about
obviously so he kind of looked back at
me with just awe and said you know what
I genuinely thought I was doing the
right thing and I apologized I said it’s
not for you to say sorry is for you to
walk with this energy that I’ve given
you and understand that the next time
you see somebody that looks like me how
much of a corner you back them into when
you start conversations like that
thinking you’re doing the right thing
I’ve buried some of my friends I’ve had
people in my life that didn’t have an
opportunity to live this I’ve been to
Cobb Scouts made friends there
and less than 10 years later I had to
hear that they’ve died because of all
the energy that’s been transferred onto
certain people in my life and that I
grew up with that has ended and their
communities and their friends that has
ended up becoming and transferring and
manipulating itself into aggression and
all of the profiles that a young black
male like myself might have on him so
I’m gonna tell you a story and this
story isn’t about me it’s an
amalgamation of all the things that have
repeatedly been viewed by myself as an
objective person in a situation from
where I’ve grown up to how something
like nature versus nurture can be really
really balanced against what a lot of
people perceive to be your choices it
goes like this and it’s called led to a
dealer and it’s on the careers my EP if
you wanted to check that out from day
one he was young proper innocent little
you with his airmax and an unhealthy
love from his peers to go in school
coming home getting changed in his room
not shower then he straight back out to
go kick a ball or running around it ends
with the rest of his little crew would
not I’m better do them play money up on
the wall or even not bound ginger when
his neighbor’s law that was one game
that he surely had a favor for but his
friends would always dare him to do what
he never wanted them for fear of not
remaining accepting he wasn’t honest
with himself and started getting caught
up in that cyclonic mad peer pressure
spiral very few ever stop it
growing up he started leaving home late
most days stop calling and texting to
say he’s coming home safe get him back
awakened his mum smelling a skunk or
just a no way it was some of my friends
when she asked coldly but she knew she
couldn’t say another word the whole day
she already found them baggies he tried
to hide in his old games with a picture
that he drew she couldn’t bring us off
the throw away with a corner torn off in
a strip that he used for Roach Papes
it’s mad when you lie to the people you
love for hopes sake but crazy when you
look at yourself and lie to your own
face it’s mad when you lie to the people
you love for hopes sake but crazy when
you look at yourself and lie to your own
face passive-aggression started getting
a better now disagree much turned to
argument somehow ending in growls real
loud no
listens but everyone wants to shout and
eventually was already them getting
kicked out his house no job and he got
thrown out and you need for poor
attendance and aggression in his
counseling sessions they put him out
that we genuinely feels like he’s got
starting to prove because his dad knew
but kept the doors locked when he came
around had his own agenda last time they
saw each other he don’t remember
periodic hourly visits but he won’t no
offenders true you paid her ultimate
sacrifice when you have a child but when
it’s selling children and dream work on
the local tender so he called it girl we
linked last month because she lives on
her own and was sprung off their loss
you knew it wouldn’t last long but
emotions were high money was low and in
regards to resort she was the last one
so he stayed and started dealing to keep
up with the apartment they got close she
ended up getting pregnant he was the
father I saw before she knew he went the
dad but couldn’t bear that confessing
what she’d done their relationship it
would tear that because she long fell in
love but she knew that he wouldn’t hear
that she got drunk at one party he
happened to not me there’re vomiting in
the toilet with someone holding their
hair back then either one-night stand
with our childhood crush bareback now
he’s dealing to support a household he
never built with a woman too scared to
admit that she wasn’t real there’s a lot
of brothers shot and it’s wrong and it’s
evil still but a deal isn’t born from
the door so consider this a letter to
that mail that’s posted up on the
block’s
by the shops dealing with all them grams
chilling back by the flats perceived to
be in a gang just doing it for his kid I
released the one a baby mom lost and got
and believing that he’s the dad if you
hit a big stop by conceiving another
plan it’s not short shot move is deeper
than all of that it’s not nonstop blue
is steeper than all of that it’s never
short time but you needed your Spiller
firm you’re doing more than any
nine-to-five could ever pay you but your
aims have gotten buried beneath for all
and it’s mad because your boys got a
land in your meetings all overlap he
doesn’t like the fact that you’re eating
what you could have you never thought
your gob stealing away your plan but
that’s what happens when those green
eyed demons invading camps cause
someone’s gonna crack and show their
true colors because it’s golden to the
greens got a brother see and read then
it’s white lights deaf and people who
dressed in black or blue gloves silver
cuffs and police all up in your flat
like a 20 for backup mums
nothing to account for and when they ask
you what you’re doing now you never
sound sure because JSA is the only
legitimate pu bag so you revert and
start running them packages in
them scams you buy an app offer the hood
that goes deep so your family don’t know
it she won a street and that you
snitched on you don’t clock him on a
beef before you know you’re going ot for
a little cash more regular now you’re
being treated when you bring it back
because you realize that you’re up and
you’re secretly feeling gassed had a
taste and I you’re hungry and really
it’s kind of sad cuz you never wanted
this but isn’t all we see in a bag no
one said it would be easy your feelings
of all intact by now your son don’t know
you your mom don’t phone you and there’s
no one that you feel like you can run or
go to because no one understands what
you’ve done or go through it’s a vicious
little cycle that’s breeding another
batch the system broke down in a tree
and a brother bad it goes round two
you’re under the ground or in a van with
your wallet your belt on your keys all
up in a bag a now you’re locked up in a
cage and they’re feeding you from the
my brother they’re feeding you from the
hand well when that lion pops in your
peas are all in a stack it’s hard to
escape there’s a reason it’s called a
trap thank you
[Music] [Applause]
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