in 1963 Stanley Milgram conducted what
is now known as the infamous Milgram
experiments in this experiment dr.
Milgram decided to test whether ordinary
people could be influenced into
committing atrocities against their
fellow man as was the case with Nazi
Germany as the story goes subjects were
put in charge of electrocution devices
that would send a jolt of electricity to
another individual hidden behind a
curtain a person pretending to be a part
of the experiment now every time the
person behind the curtain got a question
wrong the subject was instructed to
shock them and over the course of the
experiment the voltage was set to
increase to up to 450 volts each time
the subject was urged to continue the
experiment regardless of how they felt
even when they could hear the screams of
the other person on the other side now
lots of people are familiar with this
experiment and most refered to the
baseline result that shows that 65
percent of these subjects were willing
when instructed to press on and to send
an ever-increasing volts of electricity
to a complete stranger now
some hold the Milgram experiments up as
a shining example of the six of the evil
that 65% of the population is capable of
when properly influenced but that’s not
the end of the story in a recent podcast
interview Alex Houston professor of
psychology at Exeter University who
studied Milgram’s work expressed his
frustration with that popular version of
the story he notes that when there were
several variations using more than one
researcher to give instructions the
visibility of the supposed victim use of
particular wording during the
experiments that percentage went down
and what Milgram actually discovered is
that his subjects were willing to make
sacrifices they thought were necessary
even when they were uncomfortable if
they believed they were doing it as an
overall benefit to society and in this
case for the good of science so to that
conclusion professor Haus incites this
when we seek to serve the greater good
we must first ask ourselves what is
greater and what is good and this is the
point that I want to make today how do
we decide how do we connect with our
purpose to decide
the right thing my hope is that when
this is over you will can decide
consider how you connect with your
purpose so my background is in nonprofit
management in philanthropy and in the
nonprofit world were all about mission
mission this and mission that and what
mission based management teaches us is
that no matter what happens within the
organization you’re to use the mission
as a guide you make sure that you are to
make sure that you’re in alignment with
the principles and the purpose of that
organization it teaches us that an
organization’s mission is sacred it’s a
statement on how they perceive their
value and what action that the
organization is prepared to take to make
sure that objective is reached I also
work with students and professionals
where I teach purpose based management
or more accurately purpose directed
leadership and it goes like this when
you are pursuing a goal you must first
identify how this goal this task thus
objective aligns not only with your
values but who you are as a person and
the greatest and the highest expression
of that self articulate that vision
manifests its creation while developing
a means to move it out into the world
purpose vision plan execution and in my
experience what I’ve noticed is this
when there’s a problem when something’s
not working I find that it’s usually
because people have gotten stuck
somewhere in the process so we all know
that person whose all vision no plan no
execution or the constant list maker who
never makes it through to completion or
what about those folks who are caught
solidly in execution no vision no plan
just going unfortunately those tend to
be folks caught in survival mode either
figuratively order literally and then
there are those middle spaces so my
friend name states my friend Stacy is a
single mom and she works hard she’s
extremely dedicated to her friends and
her family she starts planning her kids
birthday parties months in advance and
they’re always these detailed and
intricate themes and she loves going on
Pinterest to find new recipes and party
decorations and she remembers doctor’s
appointments and soccer games and dance
classes and parent-teacher meetings but
Stacy hates her job
and she’s often exhausted and frustrated
at the end of the day but not sure how
to leave so every day she goes in and
she drives herself to work and she comes
home gives whatever leftover energy she
has her kids and then has nothing less
for herself she does this week after
week after week stacy is productive she
is both a planner and an executor and on
the face of it there’s nothing wrong
with this we constantly push for
individuals to be productive members of
society people like Stacy are constantly
busy they plan they execute they plan
they execute and they’re extremely
productive but they don’t feel they have
time to create a vision for themselves
for what they might actually want and
being stuck in the productivity mindset
means that we go round and round in the
same place and in many cases we can’t or
unwilling to step back and literally see
the forest from the trees and then you
get people like me heavily into
visioning heavily into executing and
this has made it possible for me to
develop programs and launch projects and
create platforms I’m clear about my
mission and on most days I will execute
most of the people around me I’m
effective I get things done I make
things happen now for the downside I’m
so good at being effective that I don’t
always stop and think if I’m being
efficient and for me the challenge is to
stop and to process before moving on to
execution I see the goal I see the
vision I act it also means that while I
might love you dearly there’s not a ton
of planning going into buying you the
perfect gift my first my friends and
family know that I am notorious for
copying out with gift cards and for a
long time no matter what the occasion I
bought chips and salsa to the party
because I didn’t know what to bring I
hated cooking and I usually waited to
the last minute you know who else
operates like this we’re colleagues
workaholics will throw themselves into
their work to avoid having to deal with
any uncomfortable or personal feelings
now when I first shared this framework
with a friend of mine she acts well how
do I know where I am
simple think of every time that you set
out to do something that was really
important to you and through your own
efforts or lack of efforts you failed
repeatedly in the same way that’ll give
you some indication you know how we do
anything is how we do everything but on
the other hand think of the time when
this was not the case when you were on
fire when you were the best version of
yourself when you felt completely in
alignment with who you are and what you
wanted to do in this world you’re likely
operating from here you’re operating
from your purpose rather it be purpose
with a little P like completing class or
an hour a big assignment or purpose with
a big P like starting a movement or
creating something your life’s work you
are manifesting and moving that out into
the world and didn’t that feel great so
how did we get here where did the
disconnect happen we’re all looking for
connection we all want to feel loved and
validated and to know that we have value
and that we matter and I find that if
you find yourself operating from one of
these particular areas it’s likely where
you’ve experienced love or value and
acceptance from operating in this way
your environment validated you for being
a visionary a planner or an executor and
you learn to get really good at it in my
case as with many executors we learned
that our value and our ability to
execute and to be as our value to be
effective we aligned our ability to be
effective with our identity and when
that ability has taken away we feel our
identities are taken away our worth is
taken away so earlier this year I caught
a horrible respiratory infection that
made it almost impossible to breathe I
couldn’t work I could barely breathe I
could barely sleep
I was completely unable to maintain my
effectiveness and in the middle of a
transition when I was still trying to
prove myself at work and add a new job
instead of feeling compassion for myself
I all I could see was myself as
defective
I couldn’t produce I was broken I was
useless it was if my illness was cutting
off my supply of validation something I
felt I desperately needed and I knew
that something was wrong with this
picture
so one of my greatest heroes is my
sister Kelly she’s funny and just simply
amazing she would introduce me to all of
these really cool stuff in the world and
I’m pretty sure she introduced
me to my first TED talk so Kelly loved
to read and she could hold a serious
debate with any college professor any
political ideologies even though she
never made it past high school but my
sister lived in the intention zone she
had lots of great ideas lots of great
visions she was amazing at making these
articulate plans but then nothing about
a year ago Kelly died of kidney failure
and with that she took all of her
brilliance with her she never executed
on any of the grand plans that she had
and in having conversations with her I
knew that this was part of her fear
Kelly was afraid that if she ever truly
executed on any of these ideas it would
never live up to the perfect version of
it she had in her head she was already
known for being brilliant
she was already valued for her intellect
this is her identity and yet deep down
she was afraid of being judged afraid of
being seen as less than connecting to
our purpose means we stopped being
afraid to do what we know is their
highest expression of ourselves we
stopped worrying about losing that
external validation or that constant
worrying that keeps us in our corners
not living up to our potential as human
beings and running ourselves ragged till
there is absolutely nothing left to give
or till we’re willing to do anything it
takes to feel validated even if it could
includes causing harm to another person
for the greater good I used to think
that building a movement was about
getting individuals to sacrifice
themselves on behalf of the collective
to hold sacred above all else in the
mission but I was wrong that’s how we
get Animal Farm and our Elian tale where
the main characters are duped into
trading one dictator for another for the
greater good powerful movements aren’t
built by us grabbing some external light
but instead connecting to the light
within and bringing that into the
collective I’m part of a community
called starting block an organization
that works to find changemakers
throughout the world and connects them
to each other because they understand
this fact the world won’t be made better
by each of us committing blindly to a
cause or an organization without first
being able to question ourselves we
don’t need martyrs we need liberators
and we need liberated people
organization leaders of the free world
takes young black men on international
experiences to connect them with their
own possibilities because we know that
these experience will have a way of
exposing them to the world and to
themselves our work is about developing
liberated minds that will connect them
to their purpose articulate their vision
and push it out into the world as the
philosopher Howard Thurman once stated
don’t ask yourself what the world needs
ask yourself what makes you come alive
and go and do that because what the
world needs is people who have come
alive
how will you connect to your purpose
thank you [Applause]
is now known as the infamous Milgram
experiments in this experiment dr.
Milgram decided to test whether ordinary
people could be influenced into
committing atrocities against their
fellow man as was the case with Nazi
Germany as the story goes subjects were
put in charge of electrocution devices
that would send a jolt of electricity to
another individual hidden behind a
curtain a person pretending to be a part
of the experiment now every time the
person behind the curtain got a question
wrong the subject was instructed to
shock them and over the course of the
experiment the voltage was set to
increase to up to 450 volts each time
the subject was urged to continue the
experiment regardless of how they felt
even when they could hear the screams of
the other person on the other side now
lots of people are familiar with this
experiment and most refered to the
baseline result that shows that 65
percent of these subjects were willing
when instructed to press on and to send
an ever-increasing volts of electricity
to a complete stranger now
some hold the Milgram experiments up as
a shining example of the six of the evil
that 65% of the population is capable of
when properly influenced but that’s not
the end of the story in a recent podcast
interview Alex Houston professor of
psychology at Exeter University who
studied Milgram’s work expressed his
frustration with that popular version of
the story he notes that when there were
several variations using more than one
researcher to give instructions the
visibility of the supposed victim use of
particular wording during the
experiments that percentage went down
and what Milgram actually discovered is
that his subjects were willing to make
sacrifices they thought were necessary
even when they were uncomfortable if
they believed they were doing it as an
overall benefit to society and in this
case for the good of science so to that
conclusion professor Haus incites this
when we seek to serve the greater good
we must first ask ourselves what is
greater and what is good and this is the
point that I want to make today how do
we decide how do we connect with our
purpose to decide
the right thing my hope is that when
this is over you will can decide
consider how you connect with your
purpose so my background is in nonprofit
management in philanthropy and in the
nonprofit world were all about mission
mission this and mission that and what
mission based management teaches us is
that no matter what happens within the
organization you’re to use the mission
as a guide you make sure that you are to
make sure that you’re in alignment with
the principles and the purpose of that
organization it teaches us that an
organization’s mission is sacred it’s a
statement on how they perceive their
value and what action that the
organization is prepared to take to make
sure that objective is reached I also
work with students and professionals
where I teach purpose based management
or more accurately purpose directed
leadership and it goes like this when
you are pursuing a goal you must first
identify how this goal this task thus
objective aligns not only with your
values but who you are as a person and
the greatest and the highest expression
of that self articulate that vision
manifests its creation while developing
a means to move it out into the world
purpose vision plan execution and in my
experience what I’ve noticed is this
when there’s a problem when something’s
not working I find that it’s usually
because people have gotten stuck
somewhere in the process so we all know
that person whose all vision no plan no
execution or the constant list maker who
never makes it through to completion or
what about those folks who are caught
solidly in execution no vision no plan
just going unfortunately those tend to
be folks caught in survival mode either
figuratively order literally and then
there are those middle spaces so my
friend name states my friend Stacy is a
single mom and she works hard she’s
extremely dedicated to her friends and
her family she starts planning her kids
birthday parties months in advance and
they’re always these detailed and
intricate themes and she loves going on
Pinterest to find new recipes and party
decorations and she remembers doctor’s
appointments and soccer games and dance
classes and parent-teacher meetings but
Stacy hates her job
and she’s often exhausted and frustrated
at the end of the day but not sure how
to leave so every day she goes in and
she drives herself to work and she comes
home gives whatever leftover energy she
has her kids and then has nothing less
for herself she does this week after
week after week stacy is productive she
is both a planner and an executor and on
the face of it there’s nothing wrong
with this we constantly push for
individuals to be productive members of
society people like Stacy are constantly
busy they plan they execute they plan
they execute and they’re extremely
productive but they don’t feel they have
time to create a vision for themselves
for what they might actually want and
being stuck in the productivity mindset
means that we go round and round in the
same place and in many cases we can’t or
unwilling to step back and literally see
the forest from the trees and then you
get people like me heavily into
visioning heavily into executing and
this has made it possible for me to
develop programs and launch projects and
create platforms I’m clear about my
mission and on most days I will execute
most of the people around me I’m
effective I get things done I make
things happen now for the downside I’m
so good at being effective that I don’t
always stop and think if I’m being
efficient and for me the challenge is to
stop and to process before moving on to
execution I see the goal I see the
vision I act it also means that while I
might love you dearly there’s not a ton
of planning going into buying you the
perfect gift my first my friends and
family know that I am notorious for
copying out with gift cards and for a
long time no matter what the occasion I
bought chips and salsa to the party
because I didn’t know what to bring I
hated cooking and I usually waited to
the last minute you know who else
operates like this we’re colleagues
workaholics will throw themselves into
their work to avoid having to deal with
any uncomfortable or personal feelings
now when I first shared this framework
with a friend of mine she acts well how
do I know where I am
simple think of every time that you set
out to do something that was really
important to you and through your own
efforts or lack of efforts you failed
repeatedly in the same way that’ll give
you some indication you know how we do
anything is how we do everything but on
the other hand think of the time when
this was not the case when you were on
fire when you were the best version of
yourself when you felt completely in
alignment with who you are and what you
wanted to do in this world you’re likely
operating from here you’re operating
from your purpose rather it be purpose
with a little P like completing class or
an hour a big assignment or purpose with
a big P like starting a movement or
creating something your life’s work you
are manifesting and moving that out into
the world and didn’t that feel great so
how did we get here where did the
disconnect happen we’re all looking for
connection we all want to feel loved and
validated and to know that we have value
and that we matter and I find that if
you find yourself operating from one of
these particular areas it’s likely where
you’ve experienced love or value and
acceptance from operating in this way
your environment validated you for being
a visionary a planner or an executor and
you learn to get really good at it in my
case as with many executors we learned
that our value and our ability to
execute and to be as our value to be
effective we aligned our ability to be
effective with our identity and when
that ability has taken away we feel our
identities are taken away our worth is
taken away so earlier this year I caught
a horrible respiratory infection that
made it almost impossible to breathe I
couldn’t work I could barely breathe I
could barely sleep
I was completely unable to maintain my
effectiveness and in the middle of a
transition when I was still trying to
prove myself at work and add a new job
instead of feeling compassion for myself
I all I could see was myself as
defective
I couldn’t produce I was broken I was
useless it was if my illness was cutting
off my supply of validation something I
felt I desperately needed and I knew
that something was wrong with this
picture
so one of my greatest heroes is my
sister Kelly she’s funny and just simply
amazing she would introduce me to all of
these really cool stuff in the world and
I’m pretty sure she introduced
me to my first TED talk so Kelly loved
to read and she could hold a serious
debate with any college professor any
political ideologies even though she
never made it past high school but my
sister lived in the intention zone she
had lots of great ideas lots of great
visions she was amazing at making these
articulate plans but then nothing about
a year ago Kelly died of kidney failure
and with that she took all of her
brilliance with her she never executed
on any of the grand plans that she had
and in having conversations with her I
knew that this was part of her fear
Kelly was afraid that if she ever truly
executed on any of these ideas it would
never live up to the perfect version of
it she had in her head she was already
known for being brilliant
she was already valued for her intellect
this is her identity and yet deep down
she was afraid of being judged afraid of
being seen as less than connecting to
our purpose means we stopped being
afraid to do what we know is their
highest expression of ourselves we
stopped worrying about losing that
external validation or that constant
worrying that keeps us in our corners
not living up to our potential as human
beings and running ourselves ragged till
there is absolutely nothing left to give
or till we’re willing to do anything it
takes to feel validated even if it could
includes causing harm to another person
for the greater good I used to think
that building a movement was about
getting individuals to sacrifice
themselves on behalf of the collective
to hold sacred above all else in the
mission but I was wrong that’s how we
get Animal Farm and our Elian tale where
the main characters are duped into
trading one dictator for another for the
greater good powerful movements aren’t
built by us grabbing some external light
but instead connecting to the light
within and bringing that into the
collective I’m part of a community
called starting block an organization
that works to find changemakers
throughout the world and connects them
to each other because they understand
this fact the world won’t be made better
by each of us committing blindly to a
cause or an organization without first
being able to question ourselves we
don’t need martyrs we need liberators
and we need liberated people
organization leaders of the free world
takes young black men on international
experiences to connect them with their
own possibilities because we know that
these experience will have a way of
exposing them to the world and to
themselves our work is about developing
liberated minds that will connect them
to their purpose articulate their vision
and push it out into the world as the
philosopher Howard Thurman once stated
don’t ask yourself what the world needs
ask yourself what makes you come alive
and go and do that because what the
world needs is people who have come
alive
how will you connect to your purpose
thank you [Applause]
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