Translator: Robert Clarke Reviewer: Cristina Bufi-Pöcksteiner
Life is really unpredictable.
It was summer 2015.
After feeling so courageous for having had my blood test done,
I discovered I had breast cancer.
Everything can change from one day to the next one,
but believe me when I say that whatever happens, no matter what,
you can always do something to enjoy your time,
and everything is temporary.
After the diagnosis,
I learned to let go of things, starting with my holiday.
Actually, after my first chemo, I ran away and spent some days in Florence.
I let go of many things, and I learned to be patient as well.
I didn’t even know what patience looked like.
Every single relationship has been proven, and also my memory has been proven.
You cannot imagine the number of pills you have to take every day.
Fortunately, my grandmother was there
ready to remind me to take my cortisone I was always forgetting about.
Even in the middle of that, I feel lucky,
because the treatment was long, but at the same time it wasn’t.
I had time to focus on myself, to get new boobs, as I always say,
and to go on not understanding what to do with my life.
At the moment, I have this notepad
on which I write every single idea about what to do when I grow up.
After my surgery, I started running,
and, at the moment, I’ve run three half-marathons.
Before the cancer, I wasn’t a runner at all,
but I’ve run in Rome, Amsterdam and New York.
I was so happy about it.
Who could have said that that person
could ever have done something like this?
Who could’ve said that something like this could happen to me?
Even though I was strong throughout all my treatment,
as soon as the treatment was over, I started feeling lost.
I didn’t know where I was going with my life,
and I was asking myself,
“What am I doing except from working in my pyjamas in my bedroom?”
Because I work freelance, and it’s really great,
but it has its pros and cons like everything.
I had many scary thoughts,
and then I decided to buy a flight for New York.
I had no plans,
except the first five days in a hostel
and my flight for coming back three months later.
So I was open for everything.
What would happen in between the hostel and the flight?
I’ll tell you.
Like, one week later, I arrived in the city,
I was part of an exhibition in a Brooklyn gallery
with my photographic project about breast cancer.
A couple of days later, I found myself in Mexico.
No idea why – don’t tell me.
I spent one week there.
After that, I was back in New York,
and I was walking around every single park
looking at the beautiful Manhattan skyline.
I felt small, but, at the same time,
I was part of the city where everything was happening.
There, I was [at the point of] selling my camera.
Then I sign up for a photography class for two months.
After a couple of months, it was almost the end of my trip,
I find myself in California,
and I did so many things.
I found myself on a bus, on a bike and then on a boat.
It’s been great, and who would have imagined
that something like this could happen to me in just three months?
Even with all of that,
there have also been times where I had a tough time.
I was facing the fact that I was there all alone
and I didn’t know where I was going the next day.
I was confused.
I’ve faced so many thoughts about life and death,
and I’ve found this article about how life can be hard,
especially for young people after cancer.
I try to feel normal,
and I wanted everything to be, not about cancer, but just about living.
For this reason, I started thinking that we’re always ready to say,
“Everything happens to me.”
It’s true – but not just for the bad things,
also with the good things.
We are free every day to do something we never thought about before,
or something we’ve always thought but we never did.
So it’s just enough to take care of other people,
to take care of what surrounds us,
to enjoy every moment, every city, every event.
I don’t know who among you doesn’t leave our great city, our great Milan,
and spends a couple of days away
and starts complaining as soon as it’s time to be back.
In that moment, we have to ask ourselves
how many people come from faraway places
to see how many wonderful things we can see in Milan, we can visit.
When I left Italy,
I started this photographic project.
It’s about all the people I met on my trip.
I decided to call it “Humans Along the Way”
because it collects all the stories of the people.
I began just like –
It began like just a challenge with myself
because I wasn’t sure about how to deal with my story,
I wasn’t sure if I should tell people I’d got cancer.
But my way of doing it was like,
“Hey, I’m Cristina, I got cancer. How about you?”
It was maybe not the best way.
Other times, I was hiding the problem completely.
Extreme ways are never the best.
The more I was taking these selfies with people,
the more I was curious about other stories,
the more I was learning
how to relate with people and with my story as well.
So I want to talk to you about some of them.
It’s been hard to choose just five of them, but …
I tried.
He is Pedro,
and he is one of the main examples I can speak about
for saying that life is really unpredictable.
I met him in Cancun, on my trip in Mexico,
in the hostel.
After a couple of days, I decided to go to Tulum,
and, while visiting, we bumped into each other.
I was like, “Oh my God, what are you doing here?”
We talked a little bit,
and then we went on in different directions.
After another three or four days,
it was my last day in Cancun, and I wasn’t sure about what to do,
I decided to go to Isla Mujeres.
It was really hard to get there.
I mean, the bus didn’t come,
I had problems buying the ticket for the ferry.
Once there, the guy told me,
“Hey, today everything is closed because there’s too much wind.”
I was like, “Oh my God, what am I doing here?”
So I decided to walk around.
I walk aimlessly from one beach to the other.
I just lie down under some palms,
I fall asleep with my face covered,
and when I get up, Pedro is lying beside me.
I was like, “Are you kidding? What are you doing here again?”
It was great.
She’s Anita.
I met her in Cancun.
She’s a shiny human.
She is so happy telling you her story.
She had a tough time, but after that, she found love in Saïd.
This man just moved from France to the US and happened to live next door to her.
So they met, and her mother was always telling her:
“You will find a man you won’t be afraid to dance in the street with.”
And she’s so happy telling you that, no matter what,
you’ll find the love of your life and that man is Saïd.
She’s Natalie.
I love Natalie.
She’s from California.
Actually, I met her through Instagram,
because when I got cancer I was looking for someone
who was sharing, in a positive way, my same story.
This wonderful woman was amazing.
So I just texted her and I decided to connect with her.
Last October, I was in New York,
and she happened to be in New York as well.
So we met.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was in New York,
and I decided to book a flight for California
and I went visiting her.
It’s been great, because I had the opportunity to meet her,
her family and her friends.
I went with her around the city,
we did yoga together, and many things.
We found ourselves sitting on a boat,
speaking one to each other about
how important it is in life to reach out for other people,
and always be open.
If you think something nice,
just say it,
because you never know where it brings you.
And, she’s Fabiana.
Fabiana is lovely.
She’s from Italy, but she’s been living in the US for four years now.
It’s strange, because we met in New York,
but we have something like twenty friends in common in Italy.
I was surprised about it.
We have so many stories to share.
I think we can talk for hours and hours.
That’s another story that makes me think
that, whatever happens in life,
there are some people we are meant to meet,
and someday we will meet them.
He is Mark.
Mark is from Wicklow,
which is one of the best places in Ireland to me.
I met him in Cancun,
because when I arrived I was walking around, no sense,
with my backpack.
I didn’t know where to go, and he was walking in the same way.
So, I just decided to say “hi,” and we started talking.
After a couple of minutes, I don’t know how,
we were into a really, really personal conversation.
So it’s been a lot.
I can go on for hours with these stories.
I have more than one hundred stories, so I think I can stop here.
I want just to tell you that,
no matter what, be open to whatever life has to offer you.
As someone told me in California,
“Don’t fight the flow.”
Be curious for everything, with everyone,
because everyone has something to offer to you,
and you always have something to offer to other people.
I’m going to leave you with this quote of Sartre:
“I suppose it is out of laziness that the world is the same day after day.
Today it seemed to want to change.
And then anything, anything, could happen.”
Thank you.
(Applause)
Life is really unpredictable.
It was summer 2015.
After feeling so courageous for having had my blood test done,
I discovered I had breast cancer.
Everything can change from one day to the next one,
but believe me when I say that whatever happens, no matter what,
you can always do something to enjoy your time,
and everything is temporary.
After the diagnosis,
I learned to let go of things, starting with my holiday.
Actually, after my first chemo, I ran away and spent some days in Florence.
I let go of many things, and I learned to be patient as well.
I didn’t even know what patience looked like.
Every single relationship has been proven, and also my memory has been proven.
You cannot imagine the number of pills you have to take every day.
Fortunately, my grandmother was there
ready to remind me to take my cortisone I was always forgetting about.
Even in the middle of that, I feel lucky,
because the treatment was long, but at the same time it wasn’t.
I had time to focus on myself, to get new boobs, as I always say,
and to go on not understanding what to do with my life.
At the moment, I have this notepad
on which I write every single idea about what to do when I grow up.
After my surgery, I started running,
and, at the moment, I’ve run three half-marathons.
Before the cancer, I wasn’t a runner at all,
but I’ve run in Rome, Amsterdam and New York.
I was so happy about it.
Who could have said that that person
could ever have done something like this?
Who could’ve said that something like this could happen to me?
Even though I was strong throughout all my treatment,
as soon as the treatment was over, I started feeling lost.
I didn’t know where I was going with my life,
and I was asking myself,
“What am I doing except from working in my pyjamas in my bedroom?”
Because I work freelance, and it’s really great,
but it has its pros and cons like everything.
I had many scary thoughts,
and then I decided to buy a flight for New York.
I had no plans,
except the first five days in a hostel
and my flight for coming back three months later.
So I was open for everything.
What would happen in between the hostel and the flight?
I’ll tell you.
Like, one week later, I arrived in the city,
I was part of an exhibition in a Brooklyn gallery
with my photographic project about breast cancer.
A couple of days later, I found myself in Mexico.
No idea why – don’t tell me.
I spent one week there.
After that, I was back in New York,
and I was walking around every single park
looking at the beautiful Manhattan skyline.
I felt small, but, at the same time,
I was part of the city where everything was happening.
There, I was [at the point of] selling my camera.
Then I sign up for a photography class for two months.
After a couple of months, it was almost the end of my trip,
I find myself in California,
and I did so many things.
I found myself on a bus, on a bike and then on a boat.
It’s been great, and who would have imagined
that something like this could happen to me in just three months?
Even with all of that,
there have also been times where I had a tough time.
I was facing the fact that I was there all alone
and I didn’t know where I was going the next day.
I was confused.
I’ve faced so many thoughts about life and death,
and I’ve found this article about how life can be hard,
especially for young people after cancer.
I try to feel normal,
and I wanted everything to be, not about cancer, but just about living.
For this reason, I started thinking that we’re always ready to say,
“Everything happens to me.”
It’s true – but not just for the bad things,
also with the good things.
We are free every day to do something we never thought about before,
or something we’ve always thought but we never did.
So it’s just enough to take care of other people,
to take care of what surrounds us,
to enjoy every moment, every city, every event.
I don’t know who among you doesn’t leave our great city, our great Milan,
and spends a couple of days away
and starts complaining as soon as it’s time to be back.
In that moment, we have to ask ourselves
how many people come from faraway places
to see how many wonderful things we can see in Milan, we can visit.
When I left Italy,
I started this photographic project.
It’s about all the people I met on my trip.
I decided to call it “Humans Along the Way”
because it collects all the stories of the people.
I began just like –
It began like just a challenge with myself
because I wasn’t sure about how to deal with my story,
I wasn’t sure if I should tell people I’d got cancer.
But my way of doing it was like,
“Hey, I’m Cristina, I got cancer. How about you?”
It was maybe not the best way.
Other times, I was hiding the problem completely.
Extreme ways are never the best.
The more I was taking these selfies with people,
the more I was curious about other stories,
the more I was learning
how to relate with people and with my story as well.
So I want to talk to you about some of them.
It’s been hard to choose just five of them, but …
I tried.
He is Pedro,
and he is one of the main examples I can speak about
for saying that life is really unpredictable.
I met him in Cancun, on my trip in Mexico,
in the hostel.
After a couple of days, I decided to go to Tulum,
and, while visiting, we bumped into each other.
I was like, “Oh my God, what are you doing here?”
We talked a little bit,
and then we went on in different directions.
After another three or four days,
it was my last day in Cancun, and I wasn’t sure about what to do,
I decided to go to Isla Mujeres.
It was really hard to get there.
I mean, the bus didn’t come,
I had problems buying the ticket for the ferry.
Once there, the guy told me,
“Hey, today everything is closed because there’s too much wind.”
I was like, “Oh my God, what am I doing here?”
So I decided to walk around.
I walk aimlessly from one beach to the other.
I just lie down under some palms,
I fall asleep with my face covered,
and when I get up, Pedro is lying beside me.
I was like, “Are you kidding? What are you doing here again?”
It was great.
She’s Anita.
I met her in Cancun.
She’s a shiny human.
She is so happy telling you her story.
She had a tough time, but after that, she found love in Saïd.
This man just moved from France to the US and happened to live next door to her.
So they met, and her mother was always telling her:
“You will find a man you won’t be afraid to dance in the street with.”
And she’s so happy telling you that, no matter what,
you’ll find the love of your life and that man is Saïd.
She’s Natalie.
I love Natalie.
She’s from California.
Actually, I met her through Instagram,
because when I got cancer I was looking for someone
who was sharing, in a positive way, my same story.
This wonderful woman was amazing.
So I just texted her and I decided to connect with her.
Last October, I was in New York,
and she happened to be in New York as well.
So we met.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was in New York,
and I decided to book a flight for California
and I went visiting her.
It’s been great, because I had the opportunity to meet her,
her family and her friends.
I went with her around the city,
we did yoga together, and many things.
We found ourselves sitting on a boat,
speaking one to each other about
how important it is in life to reach out for other people,
and always be open.
If you think something nice,
just say it,
because you never know where it brings you.
And, she’s Fabiana.
Fabiana is lovely.
She’s from Italy, but she’s been living in the US for four years now.
It’s strange, because we met in New York,
but we have something like twenty friends in common in Italy.
I was surprised about it.
We have so many stories to share.
I think we can talk for hours and hours.
That’s another story that makes me think
that, whatever happens in life,
there are some people we are meant to meet,
and someday we will meet them.
He is Mark.
Mark is from Wicklow,
which is one of the best places in Ireland to me.
I met him in Cancun,
because when I arrived I was walking around, no sense,
with my backpack.
I didn’t know where to go, and he was walking in the same way.
So, I just decided to say “hi,” and we started talking.
After a couple of minutes, I don’t know how,
we were into a really, really personal conversation.
So it’s been a lot.
I can go on for hours with these stories.
I have more than one hundred stories, so I think I can stop here.
I want just to tell you that,
no matter what, be open to whatever life has to offer you.
As someone told me in California,
“Don’t fight the flow.”
Be curious for everything, with everyone,
because everyone has something to offer to you,
and you always have something to offer to other people.
I’m going to leave you with this quote of Sartre:
“I suppose it is out of laziness that the world is the same day after day.
Today it seemed to want to change.
And then anything, anything, could happen.”
Thank you.
(Applause)
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