[Music]
each morning I look in the mirror and I
tell myself one thing to boost my
confidence don’t wait on your weight to
live the life you want
my name is CCO lisa i co-founded the
kirby con a plus-size fashion convention
during New York Fashion Week I’m also a
lifestyle influencer which basically
means I share my life with thousands of
people on the Internet growing up I
always wanted to be on stage dance
theater singing I loved it all it takes
confidence to go out on stage and
perform but luckily for me there was no
shortage of love and validation in my
family I like to think of confidence as
a big red balloon that can either soar
or deflate my parents had the challenge
of raising three daughters and making
sure that each of our confidence
balloons was sky-high and full they did
a great job baby Fifi had a soaring
confidence balloon until around
elementary school I was the only
Nigerian girl in my class but that
wasn’t a problem
I was significantly taller than the
other girls and instead of long straight
hair I had big kinky natural hair but
those things weren’t a problem either
the problem was my body according to the
national report on self-esteem 98% of
girls feel that there is an immense
pressure from external sources to look a
certain way in elementary school a
teacher pulled my mom aside to let her
know that while I was a good dancer I
would not be allowed in our school’s
elite dance group because I didn’t have
a dancer’s body for the first time my
confidence balloon lost a little bit of
air I went to a performing arts high
school with famous alumni like six times
Tony Award winner Audra McDonald my
junior year a teacher told me privately
that while I had a great audition for
the school musical he just couldn’t give
me the part I wanted why well he said
there would be that scene where you’d
have to admit that you made love in the
back of a car and it’s simply
unrealistic but someone of your size
would fit in the back of a car as I
listened to a teacher
that I respected tell me that my body
was the reason he was choosing to ignore
my talent my face got hot with
embarrassment I’ve not formed in the pit
of my stomach I thanked him for his
feedback and I rushed out of his
classroom just as tears began to fall
down my face I wanted to quit but
there’s an expression amongst us
Nigerians
Niger know they carry laughs which in my
family met if you have a goal you don’t
quit you keep working until you achieve
it my senior year my classmates voted me
most talented my teachers couldn’t see
past my body but my classmates could and
that gave me the tiny burst of air that
my confidence balloon needed to move
forward so after high school I moved to
New York City I graduated with a degree
in theater and I became a working actor
doing shows around the country then I
decided that I wanted to land a role on
Broadway and my weight became an issue
once again in final audition after final
audition I would have casting directors
say CeCe gosh we love your talent but
your wait did I die I’m sure I could get
smaller but I could never get skinny by
the end of an entire year of rejection
by casting directors my confidence
balloon with lying dead and lifeless on
the floor when I confided in the people
I loved most that I thought that I would
never have the career I wanted the
relationship I wanted the life I wanted
unless I was skinny their response was
to hug me and tell me that I was
beautiful but that did nothing to revive
my confidence my parents could revive my
confidence for me and neither could my
friends this time I’d have to do it
myself
so when faced with the challenge of
boosting my own confidence that I could
do what I loved onstage I just quit
I stopped auditioning I got a corporate
job to pay the bills
I developed an eating disorder I was
miserable and in an effort to stay
creative and feel less alone I got on
the internet and started sharing my
stories of what it was like to be an
awkward plus-sized girl in New York City
forbes.com says that confidence is the
outcome of the thoughts that we think
and the actions we take as my Instagram
and YouTube audience gained a following
I went through a process that overhauled
and rebuilt my self-confidence through
that process I learned four key steps to
building self-confidence I’d like to
share those with you today sound good
step 1 identify your perceived obstacle
step 2
imagine what your life would look like
if your obstacle disappeared step 3
address your perceived obstacle step 4
choose to live the life you imagined
today that was a lot taken right all
right let’s break it down step 1
identify identify your perceived
obstacle so for me I thought that my
confidence would greatly improved if I
lost a bunch of weight that may not be
the thing for you and that is okay in
order to identify what your perceived
obstacle I invite you to finish this
sentence my life would be perfect if so
what is it what is that thing that you
are using as an excuse to opt out of the
life that you really want now comes the
fun part
steps you imagine what your life would
look like if that obstacle disappeared
according to a Harvard psychology study
the brain actually can’t differentiate
between a real memory and an imagined
one this is why visualization is so
important I’ll give you an example while
you think about what your life would
look like if your obstacle was gone so I
used to fantasize about myself as a
skinny person I’ve never been skating in
my life but I was obsessed
with skinny Fifi and the life that she
would live in my head
skinny Fifi would travel the world
skinny season II would wear what she
wanted not what would cover her up the
most she would get up in the morning and
dress without shame
skinny Cece would do what I consider the
most valuable neural act I could think
of
skinny Fifi would put a full body photo
on her dating profile app now it’s your
turn what does your life look like
without your perceived obstacle are you
sitting in a big corner office after a
promotion
are you boarding the plane to your dream
vacation while you think about that
let’s move on to step 3 address your
perceived obstacle now I am a firm
believer in hiring therapists and
coaches when it’s time to level up so it
was my turn to level up I hired my first
ever therapist and I immersed myself
into the world of online and body
positivity I decided in order to address
my perceived obstacle I needed to remove
skinny as a goal altogether now before
you say that I’m promoting obesity I
need you to hear me out for just a
second I was a 10-pound baby so maybe
just maybe I came into this world as a
big girl and it just is what it is yes
we live in a world that values the scale
over the soul that values used over
wellness that values looking good over
feeling good but in a world like that I
chose to go against the grain I chose to
stand up for myself and embrace health
as a practice not a pant size I decided
that healthy living of the daily
practice was my goal and consistency was
my measure of success how will you
address your perceived obstacle will you
research scholarships while you figure
out how to get into your dream school
will you reach out to a therapist about
past traumas that are bothering you I’m
gonna be really candid here except that
we can take a long time to figure out so
while we work on step three we’re gonna
get started on step 4
same time step for choose to live the
life you imagine today which are
probably thinking of fifi how can I live
the life I imagined when I still have my
obstacle right I can’t do that it’s not
true you don’t have to wait on your
perceived obstacle just like I didn’t
have to wait on my weight remember my
skinny CCE
imaginations imaginary life what did
skinny Fifi do skinny CD traveled the
world Here I am traveling the world I’m
not skinny skinny assisi wore what she
wanted Here I am wearing what I want and
I’m not skinny skinny Cece put a full
body photo on her dating profile at here
iam full body photo
d-hop not skinny how will you choose to
live the life you want right now nothing
likes me up more than when I see people
shouting me out on Instagram and sharing
their stories of self-confidence as you
embark on your journey of
self-confidence I’d like to remind you
of one thing I started my journey
because of my desire to stand on stage
and do what I want
so I identified my perceived obstacle I
imagine what my life would look like if
that obstacle disappeared I made a plan
to address my perceived obstacle and
then I chose to start living the life I
imagined right away and guess what Here
I am standing before you doing what I
love on stage thank you [Applause]
each morning I look in the mirror and I
tell myself one thing to boost my
confidence don’t wait on your weight to
live the life you want
my name is CCO lisa i co-founded the
kirby con a plus-size fashion convention
during New York Fashion Week I’m also a
lifestyle influencer which basically
means I share my life with thousands of
people on the Internet growing up I
always wanted to be on stage dance
theater singing I loved it all it takes
confidence to go out on stage and
perform but luckily for me there was no
shortage of love and validation in my
family I like to think of confidence as
a big red balloon that can either soar
or deflate my parents had the challenge
of raising three daughters and making
sure that each of our confidence
balloons was sky-high and full they did
a great job baby Fifi had a soaring
confidence balloon until around
elementary school I was the only
Nigerian girl in my class but that
wasn’t a problem
I was significantly taller than the
other girls and instead of long straight
hair I had big kinky natural hair but
those things weren’t a problem either
the problem was my body according to the
national report on self-esteem 98% of
girls feel that there is an immense
pressure from external sources to look a
certain way in elementary school a
teacher pulled my mom aside to let her
know that while I was a good dancer I
would not be allowed in our school’s
elite dance group because I didn’t have
a dancer’s body for the first time my
confidence balloon lost a little bit of
air I went to a performing arts high
school with famous alumni like six times
Tony Award winner Audra McDonald my
junior year a teacher told me privately
that while I had a great audition for
the school musical he just couldn’t give
me the part I wanted why well he said
there would be that scene where you’d
have to admit that you made love in the
back of a car and it’s simply
unrealistic but someone of your size
would fit in the back of a car as I
listened to a teacher
that I respected tell me that my body
was the reason he was choosing to ignore
my talent my face got hot with
embarrassment I’ve not formed in the pit
of my stomach I thanked him for his
feedback and I rushed out of his
classroom just as tears began to fall
down my face I wanted to quit but
there’s an expression amongst us
Nigerians
Niger know they carry laughs which in my
family met if you have a goal you don’t
quit you keep working until you achieve
it my senior year my classmates voted me
most talented my teachers couldn’t see
past my body but my classmates could and
that gave me the tiny burst of air that
my confidence balloon needed to move
forward so after high school I moved to
New York City I graduated with a degree
in theater and I became a working actor
doing shows around the country then I
decided that I wanted to land a role on
Broadway and my weight became an issue
once again in final audition after final
audition I would have casting directors
say CeCe gosh we love your talent but
your wait did I die I’m sure I could get
smaller but I could never get skinny by
the end of an entire year of rejection
by casting directors my confidence
balloon with lying dead and lifeless on
the floor when I confided in the people
I loved most that I thought that I would
never have the career I wanted the
relationship I wanted the life I wanted
unless I was skinny their response was
to hug me and tell me that I was
beautiful but that did nothing to revive
my confidence my parents could revive my
confidence for me and neither could my
friends this time I’d have to do it
myself
so when faced with the challenge of
boosting my own confidence that I could
do what I loved onstage I just quit
I stopped auditioning I got a corporate
job to pay the bills
I developed an eating disorder I was
miserable and in an effort to stay
creative and feel less alone I got on
the internet and started sharing my
stories of what it was like to be an
awkward plus-sized girl in New York City
forbes.com says that confidence is the
outcome of the thoughts that we think
and the actions we take as my Instagram
and YouTube audience gained a following
I went through a process that overhauled
and rebuilt my self-confidence through
that process I learned four key steps to
building self-confidence I’d like to
share those with you today sound good
step 1 identify your perceived obstacle
step 2
imagine what your life would look like
if your obstacle disappeared step 3
address your perceived obstacle step 4
choose to live the life you imagined
today that was a lot taken right all
right let’s break it down step 1
identify identify your perceived
obstacle so for me I thought that my
confidence would greatly improved if I
lost a bunch of weight that may not be
the thing for you and that is okay in
order to identify what your perceived
obstacle I invite you to finish this
sentence my life would be perfect if so
what is it what is that thing that you
are using as an excuse to opt out of the
life that you really want now comes the
fun part
steps you imagine what your life would
look like if that obstacle disappeared
according to a Harvard psychology study
the brain actually can’t differentiate
between a real memory and an imagined
one this is why visualization is so
important I’ll give you an example while
you think about what your life would
look like if your obstacle was gone so I
used to fantasize about myself as a
skinny person I’ve never been skating in
my life but I was obsessed
with skinny Fifi and the life that she
would live in my head
skinny Fifi would travel the world
skinny season II would wear what she
wanted not what would cover her up the
most she would get up in the morning and
dress without shame
skinny Cece would do what I consider the
most valuable neural act I could think
of
skinny Fifi would put a full body photo
on her dating profile app now it’s your
turn what does your life look like
without your perceived obstacle are you
sitting in a big corner office after a
promotion
are you boarding the plane to your dream
vacation while you think about that
let’s move on to step 3 address your
perceived obstacle now I am a firm
believer in hiring therapists and
coaches when it’s time to level up so it
was my turn to level up I hired my first
ever therapist and I immersed myself
into the world of online and body
positivity I decided in order to address
my perceived obstacle I needed to remove
skinny as a goal altogether now before
you say that I’m promoting obesity I
need you to hear me out for just a
second I was a 10-pound baby so maybe
just maybe I came into this world as a
big girl and it just is what it is yes
we live in a world that values the scale
over the soul that values used over
wellness that values looking good over
feeling good but in a world like that I
chose to go against the grain I chose to
stand up for myself and embrace health
as a practice not a pant size I decided
that healthy living of the daily
practice was my goal and consistency was
my measure of success how will you
address your perceived obstacle will you
research scholarships while you figure
out how to get into your dream school
will you reach out to a therapist about
past traumas that are bothering you I’m
gonna be really candid here except that
we can take a long time to figure out so
while we work on step three we’re gonna
get started on step 4
same time step for choose to live the
life you imagine today which are
probably thinking of fifi how can I live
the life I imagined when I still have my
obstacle right I can’t do that it’s not
true you don’t have to wait on your
perceived obstacle just like I didn’t
have to wait on my weight remember my
skinny CCE
imaginations imaginary life what did
skinny Fifi do skinny CD traveled the
world Here I am traveling the world I’m
not skinny skinny assisi wore what she
wanted Here I am wearing what I want and
I’m not skinny skinny Cece put a full
body photo on her dating profile at here
iam full body photo
d-hop not skinny how will you choose to
live the life you want right now nothing
likes me up more than when I see people
shouting me out on Instagram and sharing
their stories of self-confidence as you
embark on your journey of
self-confidence I’d like to remind you
of one thing I started my journey
because of my desire to stand on stage
and do what I want
so I identified my perceived obstacle I
imagine what my life would look like if
that obstacle disappeared I made a plan
to address my perceived obstacle and
then I chose to start living the life I
imagined right away and guess what Here
I am standing before you doing what I
love on stage thank you [Applause]
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