friend when do you see yourself being
happy in life to which the other person
responded maybe at the end of this week
or maybe once I get into my universities
then I’ll be successful then I’ll be
happy we hear it all the time especially
in the Silicon Valley and it’s
unfortunate but imagine instead hearing
I’m excited for tomorrow because it’s a
new day or I I’m happy with where I am
in my life right here and right now
does it seem out of reach I don’t think
so
now a lot of people might already be
thinking I have too much going on at
home too much going on at school I can’t
be happy right now but it just so turns
out that only 10% of one’s total
happiness is dependent on your
circumstances the other 90% comes from
the way you interpret the world going on
around you and that’s what I’m here to
talk to you about today now I’m from the
Netherlands that’s where it is on a map
in case you didn’t know and the Dutch
people are known as one of the happiest
people in the world why is this now like
our long legs and cycling prowess part
of it is just ingrained in our DNA but
the other part comes from our relaxed
mindset in the way we view the world
have any of you guys been to the
Netherlands can’t really see but maybe
not there’s not a lot going on there
don’t worry about it but if you have
you’ve seen bikes and you’ve seen a lot
of them that over there is a a bike
parking garage my grandma she’s 85 years
old and she still bikes to get her
groceries exercise has great benefits
for you obviously physically but also
mentally when you exercise your brain
realizes it as a fight-or-flight moment
and it releases a protein that acts as a
reparative element to your memory
neurons this essentially acts as a reset
switch that’s why we feel so refreshed
and at ease after we exercise and of
course we have those pain blocking
endorphins that make us feel so good and
positive a lot of people are like I just
still have time I don’t like exercising
but the thing is you do have time it
just so turns out that those mental
benefits come within just the first 20
minutes of exercise 20 minutes is all it
takes you don’t have to become a
superstar athlete or a
thing and I think that’s why the Dutch
have mastered it so well because you can
see people just bike to work in their
full suits or with kids on the on the
bike that over there is my little cousin
and me on the bike so just take 20
minutes try maybe biking to school for
once or take your dog on a walk every
day just get outside and see the effect
that it can have on you now quick little
history lesson the Netherlands literally
translates to Low Countries that’s
because half of about half of the
country is below sea level now typically
life under the sea is aquatic but we
haven’t grown fins yet and that’s
because hundreds of years ago farmers
all had to work together in order to
keep the land from flooding every farmer
had to do their part to maintain their
dike that’s what a dike is it keeps the
water from flooding it to the country
everyone had to work together because if
one person didn’t do their part the land
of flood and this is still incredibly
prevalent today this is a staple this
sense of community is a staple of Dutch
culture today there’s this something
called salmon leafing in Dutch which
translates to living together or
community every day after school all the
little kids run to the playground and
play soccer at the park my grandmother
is too busy to call us over here because
she has so many things going on she has
so many friends so I can’t express the
importance of social interaction enough
so positive psychologist Martin salesmen
studies positive psychology and he’s
worked with thousands of patients across
his lifetime and he said the one thing
common among every happy patient he’s
worked with is that they’re all
incredibly social and when we feel at
risk of being isolated the pain centers
in our brain are actually activated
because from an evolutionary standpoint
we need people to survive so get out
there talk to people you maybe wouldn’t
talk to and when you do don’t just
engage in small talk try to engage in a
meaningful conversation the Dutch are
notorious for being blunt and honest
when people ask hey how are you instead
of just responding I’m good and leaving
it at that it’s much more common for
someone to say I’m feeling fabulous
today and this is why or I’m having a
pretty crappy day and
here’s why which then leads to a deeper
conversation a study at the University
of Washington and st. Louis found that
those who participate in deeper more
meaningful conversations are happier
than those who don’t but the study
concluded that any sort of conversation
no matter how trivial was related to
higher sense of happiness and well-being
in the participants so like I said get
out there try to engage in conversation
with people you might not usually do
prioritize your social life find a time
in the week just to be with your friends
and hang out with people tell your
parents or your family about your day
really talk to them about your day
practice this idea of samma leafing now
despite the strong sense of samuel i
think there’s actually a very little
sense of competition or keeping up with
the Joneses in the Netherlands there’s
the saying that goes do marlak or hone
Delta so heck who knew which is a
mouthful but it essentially translates
to just be normal
or just do you that’s crazy enough in
Holland there’s no desire or need to be
the biggest the fastest the smartest the
most successful when in Holland you just
do you which is easier said than done
but there’s a lot of really interesting
research out there that proves why this
mindset is so beneficial when you do
what you love not what your parents love
not what your friends want to see not
what might earn you the most money down
the line but what you are good at and
what you love you experience something
in psychology that’s known as flow flow
is a mental state of operation in which
you’re fully immersed and focused at the
subject at hand it’s different than
pleasure because when you experience
pleasure you know what’s happening but
with flow you’re totally lost in the
moment if you do what it takes to have
it all and look like you’re the best you
might experience pleasure temporary
pleasure but you won’t experience that
sustained happiness and life
satisfaction that you do when you
experience flow
Matthew Killingsworth designed a study
where he studied 15,000 people and
something he found something very clear
those who are thinking about other
things other than the task at hand are
significantly less happy than those who
are present and focused and toad
involved in what they’re doing that’s
why it’s so important to find something
to do that you love the more your mind
wanders the less happy you are even if
your mind is wandering off to some more
pleasant place why do you think
mindfulness is such a hot topic these
days in positive psychology it’s because
you focus your mind you quiet your mind
and you’re not thinking about anything
else
so those cheesy Facebook posts that your
mom shares on Facebook about living in
the moment may sound cliche but there’s
a lot of truth to them so try different
things out while you’re still young
taken into interesting elective maybe
like culinary or aerospace engineering
or photography try not to focus on being
the biggest or the best but focus on
being you and see what it does for you
because a lot of people think that once
you’re successful then you’ll be happy
but actually it’s the other way around
once your brain is positive as opposed
to negative neutral or stressed you are
actually a lot more successful than the
other way around
another thing that strikes me about the
Dutch people is that we’re very chill
you could say or emotionally regulated
I’ve been trying something recently
called the 21-day challenge that Marcin
said that psychologist Sean anchor
recommended every night before bed I
take about five minutes to write down
three things I’m grateful for and one
positive experience doing this for just
21 days trains your brain to scam the
world for the positive as opposed to the
negative now it’s March which means I
along with maybe some of you are hearing
back from a lot of universities and I
didn’t get into some of my top choice
schools which I thought initially when
made me really upset but it just
happened so that when I got my rejection
letter I looked at it I said alright
their loss and I moved on and I think
it’s because my brain has been trained
to realize that there is so much more to
be positive and thankful for in this
world so try it try to weet rewire your
brain try this 21 day challenge ten
through to write down at the end of the
day three things that you’re grateful
for and one positive experience rewire
your brain to be more emotionally
regulated and positive I was at camp
diversity last week and I realized I was
shocked when I real
some of the happiest people there were
the same people with the most adverse
backgrounds so for those of you who are
thinking no this isn’t for me it can it
can be this is something that’s possible
for everyone so to address those two
people that I overheard the other week
don’t look into the future to find
happiness
tomorrow’s happiness starts today
because the future it’s not some place
some place that we’re going it’s
something that we have the power to
create and I’m hoping with a little bit
of Dutch influence that place will be a
happy one thank you [Applause]