[Music]
lorilee Redskin I’m a communication
consultant and I’m really happy to be
here today and I’m going to talk about
body language but before I do that allow
me to make a little confession I’m
holding a key in my hand and this very
key keeps a well-hidden secret
unfortunately I’m not allowed to share
the secret with you nor can I give you
the key not here not now to be more
precise not yet allow me to tell you a
little story before divulging the secret
of the key when I was 14 years old I
intended to spend a year abroad my dream
was to see the other end of the world
experiencing developing country and
living there and one year later I was
accepted to an exchange program at the
age of 16 I found myself sitting on an
airplane flying to Brazil because I did
not know one word of Portuguese I had an
uncomfortable feeling crept on me
although I have been brought up
believing that speaking English
reasonably well would be enough to find
my way around I could not escape that
awkward feeling luckily a Brazilian
native noticed my feeling tense and he
tried to cheer me up and told me one of
the most important words
obrigado meaning thank you as the plane
touched down in Sao Paulo I had to
acknowledge that what at first had been
a vague feeling was not a real source of
discomfort yes the locals I encountered
in daily life they knew hardly any
English and I obviously did not speak
Portuguese yet I had to communicate with
them so I had to decide what could I do
had back to the route approach and I
decided to use body language and that
was the time I gradually realized that
both my hands and feet could be more
helpful than any spoken language
carefully observing people’s behavior
using trial and error I picked up
Portuguese like a child another language
like a child for observing well in the
early stages of our development we as
human beings normally learn a certain
language by connecting nonverbal cues to
words when we get older we just learn a
language by just learning the words so
just like you do it when I say for
example now or when I say see you
totally understand me when I speak
forward to be is right okay well that’s
the point but you internalize the
language and you just do it like a child
by observing what I do and it’s funny we
were told German we were taught English
in French and Spanish unfortunate I had
no Portuguese at school but why don’t we
learn to communicate properly with our
body
why is then a subject for the most
universal language in the world body
language and why do we know so little
about nonverbal cues today I want to do
my bit and I want to demonstrate how
body language can help you to improve
your way to communicate and to
understand each other this will be
conducive to understanding maybe your
clients your friends and your families
their intentions and actions and
behaviors better we cannot not
communicate I see someone not smiling at
me I like that do that well this is one
of my favorite quotations of Paul that
Slovak he tried to emphasize the fact
with they we communicate all the time
imagine you’re sitting for example in a
room okay and you probably hopefully
enjoying a comfortable seat it’s not if
you do that
well imagine you’re listening to a TED
talk I know how I’m sorry but just do it
okay well listening seems to be a pretty
and active business right but the
opposite is true we communicate for our
facial expressions we communicate
through our gestures and our body
movements the way I entered the room
tell you what kind of person I am and
the chair you’ve chosen tell me what
person you are and the person we smile
at tell other persons what kind of
persons we are so our action seemed
almost unimportant for the signals we
sent and the sickness thing we transmit
through our body they are perceived and
processed by our fellows do we enter the
room hurriedly do we hesitate by looking
for free chair do we smile now these
stimuli ordinarily actions as I greatly
influence the first impression at this
very moment you’re not only had a first
impression but you’re judging a person
you barely know and you have just met in
fact you’re judging me the speaker in
front of you you are likely to arrived
at an opinion at the moment I entered
this state and judging is definitely
necessary it’s necessary to survive
because we have to decide is the person
entering the room friendly is she
dominant or is there any oppressiveness
emanating from that person and it only
takes you 30 to 60 milliseconds to do
that isn’t that amazing
we basically answer free questions
friend or foe trustworthy or treaters
attractive or unattractive I see some
guys smiling thank you for those so
because of us answering these questions
we have an intrusion before we cherish a
specific feeling about a certain person
these questions however they cannot be
answered without actively perceiving
each other so see you someone from the
corner of your
for example look around around you just
look at some people you barely know or
have maths before
well this results normally and a feeling
of indifference why because that person
doesn’t affect our lives so we say okay
we categorized that person in just as
indifferent we don’t ask that three
questions trustworthiness attractiveness
and hostility these free phenomena are
underlining on our judgments they are
the basis for our daily judgments so one
of your thing and my trustworthy I’m a
kind of person would like to be friends
or am i a potential rival let us now
look at specific functions by the
language performed in communication
nonverbal cues for example and can often
or are often at odds before people
actually saf for example you ask me how
are you and I say well rolling with my
eyes so normally you would say maybe
she’s not perfectly honest with you
right in this phenomenon is called
contradiction let us take another
example imagine you go out on a
restaurant with your date and you chat
with them and the person studying in
front of you your date says interesting
yawning ostentatiously
and here’s another example so it’s
likely that you think maybe that person
is pretty tired or again.what entirely
honest with you right so those of you
who might know Carol item and all those
who lie to me that is how he catches
Liars by looking at unconscious senses
between what people actually say and
what their body says so most of the time
our body is even faster than a your
brain for example you have been asked if
you’re hungry first you shake your head
then you say no and in other words that
is the process of nonverbal
Q’s reiterating verbal signals when
nonverbal signals are key at the same
time as we as for spoken words they are
meant to illustrate saying hi or bye
you would probably wave your hand at
someone this woman can do that perfectly
or instead of actually saying hi or bye
you might accordingly just wave your
hand at someone we usually do that when
it’s not necessary or when it’s not
possible to talk to other people
this phenomenon is called substitution
and it is not merely possible to replace
words but it’s also possible to control
a situation with nonverbal cues just
remember that situation that awkward
situation when Donald Trump refused to
take Angela McCants hand what a frosty
start for meeting and what a great
example for showing how nonverbal cues
can work so as professionals we daily
try to control our nonverbal signals and
this phenomenon we just saw is called
regulation so to sum them up the main
functions of nonverbal communications
are contradiction repetition
illustration substitution and regulation
the fact that number of the cues allow
us to form a purse impression or an
opinion with a milliseconds is both
important and risky at the same time why
because while reacting with the
milliseconds is evolutionary speaking
vital for survival it can also well skew
our judgement judgments moreover our
daily part of our life
for demonstration sake I would now ask
you to close your eyes for a moment
imagine it is Friday and you are on your
way to an appointment probably using the
Metro suddenly your pointment has been
cancelled giving you the opportunity to
observe your environment a youngish man
wearing jeans shirt and a baseball
cap standing at the entrance of the
underground platform it’s almost eight
o’clock in the morning when he starts to
play a violin that something interesting
happens every time it had walks by he
wants to listen to the music though
being dragged along by his parent in the
next 43 minutes
1097 people pass by the majority of them
are people like you and me only seven
staff and listen the man earns fruity
2.70 ten that day they taught me rice no
that is the man and here’s what you
don’t know the violinist playing there
is Joshua Bell one of the finest
classical musicians in the world playing
on most of the difficult music ever
written on one of the most vile herbal
violin ever produced da da di Bao see
yet flute concert halls were merely
pretty good seats at the end of the hall
went for $100 in 2007 when Washington
Post conducted an experiment
starring Joshua Bell to understand the
interplay between contexts perception
and priorities the result is that all
children had the time and they had great
interests to have a look at that person
at that stranger they didn’t know him
they didn’t know that he was famous and
a world-class musician but they had the
time to listen properly and all the
other people most of them they had no
time to stop perceiving him not even 30
to 60 milliseconds so that is why or why
is pets today we live in a incredibly
fast moving world we are connected
through a communication writing whatsapp
messages through out messages or emails
right and the content writing sending
receiving and forwarding messages at
rifice our ability to communicate
properly again
and this is a real challenge because
proper face to face communication needs
to see each other and for replacing
nonverbal cues by emoticons well it’s
bound to be unsuccessful because in that
way we do not transmit emotions in the
way we do when we see each other my
personal experience as a communication
consultant has taught me one thing if
you have ever a disconcerting gut
feeling take it serious if you have ever
well if you think there’s a mutual
misunderstanding between you and your
interlocutor take the time take him to
sort it out in a face-to-face
conversation
you can either communicate
quantitatively or qualitatively
therefore create a setting where both of
you can see each other and connect again
this increases the probability of
understanding your counterpart to cut a
long story short taking the time to
listen properly as an investment worth
making it could have been in case that
you could see in Joshua Bell normally
you don’t get a second chance at first
but you are able to give someone a
second chance which means taking curious
and listen properly and in the end it is
your decision to do that they’ll make
the mistake to think you just got a
message don’t miss ambiguities toltmanns
ants can have different meanings it’s
not always about being uncomfortable I’m
seeing you it can be a sign of
comfortable honestl that’s fine so
instead what you can do is do ask to
meet with people again and face to face
communication and this is how really
believe that it can work because even
face-to-face communication is not
panacea and it’s not probably the key to
everything it can be a key to connect
again that’s what communication is about
thank you
[Applause]
lorilee Redskin I’m a communication
consultant and I’m really happy to be
here today and I’m going to talk about
body language but before I do that allow
me to make a little confession I’m
holding a key in my hand and this very
key keeps a well-hidden secret
unfortunately I’m not allowed to share
the secret with you nor can I give you
the key not here not now to be more
precise not yet allow me to tell you a
little story before divulging the secret
of the key when I was 14 years old I
intended to spend a year abroad my dream
was to see the other end of the world
experiencing developing country and
living there and one year later I was
accepted to an exchange program at the
age of 16 I found myself sitting on an
airplane flying to Brazil because I did
not know one word of Portuguese I had an
uncomfortable feeling crept on me
although I have been brought up
believing that speaking English
reasonably well would be enough to find
my way around I could not escape that
awkward feeling luckily a Brazilian
native noticed my feeling tense and he
tried to cheer me up and told me one of
the most important words
obrigado meaning thank you as the plane
touched down in Sao Paulo I had to
acknowledge that what at first had been
a vague feeling was not a real source of
discomfort yes the locals I encountered
in daily life they knew hardly any
English and I obviously did not speak
Portuguese yet I had to communicate with
them so I had to decide what could I do
had back to the route approach and I
decided to use body language and that
was the time I gradually realized that
both my hands and feet could be more
helpful than any spoken language
carefully observing people’s behavior
using trial and error I picked up
Portuguese like a child another language
like a child for observing well in the
early stages of our development we as
human beings normally learn a certain
language by connecting nonverbal cues to
words when we get older we just learn a
language by just learning the words so
just like you do it when I say for
example now or when I say see you
totally understand me when I speak
forward to be is right okay well that’s
the point but you internalize the
language and you just do it like a child
by observing what I do and it’s funny we
were told German we were taught English
in French and Spanish unfortunate I had
no Portuguese at school but why don’t we
learn to communicate properly with our
body
why is then a subject for the most
universal language in the world body
language and why do we know so little
about nonverbal cues today I want to do
my bit and I want to demonstrate how
body language can help you to improve
your way to communicate and to
understand each other this will be
conducive to understanding maybe your
clients your friends and your families
their intentions and actions and
behaviors better we cannot not
communicate I see someone not smiling at
me I like that do that well this is one
of my favorite quotations of Paul that
Slovak he tried to emphasize the fact
with they we communicate all the time
imagine you’re sitting for example in a
room okay and you probably hopefully
enjoying a comfortable seat it’s not if
you do that
well imagine you’re listening to a TED
talk I know how I’m sorry but just do it
okay well listening seems to be a pretty
and active business right but the
opposite is true we communicate for our
facial expressions we communicate
through our gestures and our body
movements the way I entered the room
tell you what kind of person I am and
the chair you’ve chosen tell me what
person you are and the person we smile
at tell other persons what kind of
persons we are so our action seemed
almost unimportant for the signals we
sent and the sickness thing we transmit
through our body they are perceived and
processed by our fellows do we enter the
room hurriedly do we hesitate by looking
for free chair do we smile now these
stimuli ordinarily actions as I greatly
influence the first impression at this
very moment you’re not only had a first
impression but you’re judging a person
you barely know and you have just met in
fact you’re judging me the speaker in
front of you you are likely to arrived
at an opinion at the moment I entered
this state and judging is definitely
necessary it’s necessary to survive
because we have to decide is the person
entering the room friendly is she
dominant or is there any oppressiveness
emanating from that person and it only
takes you 30 to 60 milliseconds to do
that isn’t that amazing
we basically answer free questions
friend or foe trustworthy or treaters
attractive or unattractive I see some
guys smiling thank you for those so
because of us answering these questions
we have an intrusion before we cherish a
specific feeling about a certain person
these questions however they cannot be
answered without actively perceiving
each other so see you someone from the
corner of your
for example look around around you just
look at some people you barely know or
have maths before
well this results normally and a feeling
of indifference why because that person
doesn’t affect our lives so we say okay
we categorized that person in just as
indifferent we don’t ask that three
questions trustworthiness attractiveness
and hostility these free phenomena are
underlining on our judgments they are
the basis for our daily judgments so one
of your thing and my trustworthy I’m a
kind of person would like to be friends
or am i a potential rival let us now
look at specific functions by the
language performed in communication
nonverbal cues for example and can often
or are often at odds before people
actually saf for example you ask me how
are you and I say well rolling with my
eyes so normally you would say maybe
she’s not perfectly honest with you
right in this phenomenon is called
contradiction let us take another
example imagine you go out on a
restaurant with your date and you chat
with them and the person studying in
front of you your date says interesting
yawning ostentatiously
and here’s another example so it’s
likely that you think maybe that person
is pretty tired or again.what entirely
honest with you right so those of you
who might know Carol item and all those
who lie to me that is how he catches
Liars by looking at unconscious senses
between what people actually say and
what their body says so most of the time
our body is even faster than a your
brain for example you have been asked if
you’re hungry first you shake your head
then you say no and in other words that
is the process of nonverbal
Q’s reiterating verbal signals when
nonverbal signals are key at the same
time as we as for spoken words they are
meant to illustrate saying hi or bye
you would probably wave your hand at
someone this woman can do that perfectly
or instead of actually saying hi or bye
you might accordingly just wave your
hand at someone we usually do that when
it’s not necessary or when it’s not
possible to talk to other people
this phenomenon is called substitution
and it is not merely possible to replace
words but it’s also possible to control
a situation with nonverbal cues just
remember that situation that awkward
situation when Donald Trump refused to
take Angela McCants hand what a frosty
start for meeting and what a great
example for showing how nonverbal cues
can work so as professionals we daily
try to control our nonverbal signals and
this phenomenon we just saw is called
regulation so to sum them up the main
functions of nonverbal communications
are contradiction repetition
illustration substitution and regulation
the fact that number of the cues allow
us to form a purse impression or an
opinion with a milliseconds is both
important and risky at the same time why
because while reacting with the
milliseconds is evolutionary speaking
vital for survival it can also well skew
our judgement judgments moreover our
daily part of our life
for demonstration sake I would now ask
you to close your eyes for a moment
imagine it is Friday and you are on your
way to an appointment probably using the
Metro suddenly your pointment has been
cancelled giving you the opportunity to
observe your environment a youngish man
wearing jeans shirt and a baseball
cap standing at the entrance of the
underground platform it’s almost eight
o’clock in the morning when he starts to
play a violin that something interesting
happens every time it had walks by he
wants to listen to the music though
being dragged along by his parent in the
next 43 minutes
1097 people pass by the majority of them
are people like you and me only seven
staff and listen the man earns fruity
2.70 ten that day they taught me rice no
that is the man and here’s what you
don’t know the violinist playing there
is Joshua Bell one of the finest
classical musicians in the world playing
on most of the difficult music ever
written on one of the most vile herbal
violin ever produced da da di Bao see
yet flute concert halls were merely
pretty good seats at the end of the hall
went for $100 in 2007 when Washington
Post conducted an experiment
starring Joshua Bell to understand the
interplay between contexts perception
and priorities the result is that all
children had the time and they had great
interests to have a look at that person
at that stranger they didn’t know him
they didn’t know that he was famous and
a world-class musician but they had the
time to listen properly and all the
other people most of them they had no
time to stop perceiving him not even 30
to 60 milliseconds so that is why or why
is pets today we live in a incredibly
fast moving world we are connected
through a communication writing whatsapp
messages through out messages or emails
right and the content writing sending
receiving and forwarding messages at
rifice our ability to communicate
properly again
and this is a real challenge because
proper face to face communication needs
to see each other and for replacing
nonverbal cues by emoticons well it’s
bound to be unsuccessful because in that
way we do not transmit emotions in the
way we do when we see each other my
personal experience as a communication
consultant has taught me one thing if
you have ever a disconcerting gut
feeling take it serious if you have ever
well if you think there’s a mutual
misunderstanding between you and your
interlocutor take the time take him to
sort it out in a face-to-face
conversation
you can either communicate
quantitatively or qualitatively
therefore create a setting where both of
you can see each other and connect again
this increases the probability of
understanding your counterpart to cut a
long story short taking the time to
listen properly as an investment worth
making it could have been in case that
you could see in Joshua Bell normally
you don’t get a second chance at first
but you are able to give someone a
second chance which means taking curious
and listen properly and in the end it is
your decision to do that they’ll make
the mistake to think you just got a
message don’t miss ambiguities toltmanns
ants can have different meanings it’s
not always about being uncomfortable I’m
seeing you it can be a sign of
comfortable honestl that’s fine so
instead what you can do is do ask to
meet with people again and face to face
communication and this is how really
believe that it can work because even
face-to-face communication is not
panacea and it’s not probably the key to
everything it can be a key to connect
again that’s what communication is about
thank you
[Applause]
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