[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
who would love to gain more energy and
who would love to gain more energy and perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows
perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows
perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows at least one thing you could do to move
at least one thing you could do to move
at least one thing you could do to move you toward that goal great so why don’t
you toward that goal great so why don’t
you toward that goal great so why don’t we do it this is the question that I
we do it this is the question that I
we do it this is the question that I have pursued over the last nine and a
have pursued over the last nine and a
have pursued over the last nine and a half years practicing as a holistic
half years practicing as a holistic
half years practicing as a holistic nutritionist and life coach I think we
nutritionist and life coach I think we
nutritionist and life coach I think we can all agree our health is valuable I
can all agree our health is valuable I
can all agree our health is valuable I mean it’s our health but how we treat it
mean it’s our health but how we treat it
mean it’s our health but how we treat it is kind of like taking out the trash
is kind of like taking out the trash
is kind of like taking out the trash first we ignore it then we push it down
first we ignore it then we push it down
first we ignore it then we push it down and then it gets unruly we know we
and then it gets unruly we know we
and then it gets unruly we know we should deal with it but we don’t and
should deal with it but we don’t and
should deal with it but we don’t and eventually we’re forced to the fact that
eventually we’re forced to the fact that
eventually we’re forced to the fact that we are similarly ignoring our health is
we are similarly ignoring our health is
we are similarly ignoring our health is becoming more and more obvious in 2012
becoming more and more obvious in 2012
becoming more and more obvious in 2012 2013 the CDC reported that 70 point
2013 the CDC reported that 70 point
2013 the CDC reported that 70 point seven percent of adults in the United
seven percent of adults in the United
seven percent of adults in the United States are obese or overweight and
States are obese or overweight and
States are obese or overweight and Canada is not far behind preventable
Canada is not far behind preventable
Canada is not far behind preventable diseases are our largest killers and
diseases are our largest killers and
diseases are our largest killers and ninety-one percent of women hate their
ninety-one percent of women hate their
ninety-one percent of women hate their bodies perhaps the most frightening
bodies perhaps the most frightening
bodies perhaps the most frightening statistic almost eighteen percent of
statistic almost eighteen percent of
statistic almost eighteen percent of children aged 6 to 11 are considered
children aged 6 to 11 are considered
children aged 6 to 11 are considered obese this is not okay when we feel good
obese this is not okay when we feel good
obese this is not okay when we feel good we live each day as the best version of
we live each day as the best version of
we live each day as the best version of ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a
ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a
ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a more patient parent we model better
more patient parent we model better
more patient parent we model better behavior and we’re a more present spouse
behavior and we’re a more present spouse
behavior and we’re a more present spouse co-worker and friend and these are just
co-worker and friend and these are just
co-worker and friend and these are just the connections we know of when you feel
the connections we know of when you feel
the connections we know of when you feel good you just might smile to a stranger
good you just might smile to a stranger
good you just might smile to a stranger on the street and you never know the
on the street and you never know the
on the street and you never know the impact that that can have this is the
impact that that can have this is the
impact that that can have this is the kind
kind
kind world that I want to live in humans are
world that I want to live in humans are
world that I want to live in humans are meant to evolve we are driven to better
meant to evolve we are driven to better
meant to evolve we are driven to better ourselves and growth is a fundamental
ourselves and growth is a fundamental
ourselves and growth is a fundamental setting that we were all born with
setting that we were all born with
setting that we were all born with without this pursuit of growth we feel
without this pursuit of growth we feel
without this pursuit of growth we feel listless complacent and depressed so
listless complacent and depressed so
listless complacent and depressed so let’s revisit my original question why
let’s revisit my original question why
let’s revisit my original question why don’t we do the things we know are good
don’t we do the things we know are good
don’t we do the things we know are good for us first we need to get a hard truth
for us first we need to get a hard truth
for us first we need to get a hard truth out of the way maybe just maybe you
out of the way maybe just maybe you
out of the way maybe just maybe you don’t actually want what you’re striving
don’t actually want what you’re striving
don’t actually want what you’re striving for can you relate to realizing that
for can you relate to realizing that
for can you relate to realizing that eating snack packs and carrot sticks
eating snack packs and carrot sticks
eating snack packs and carrot sticks three meals a day and saying no to going
three meals a day and saying no to going
three meals a day and saying no to going out to dinner with friends again just
out to dinner with friends again just
out to dinner with friends again just isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not
isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not
isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not a bad thing to come to this conclusion
a bad thing to come to this conclusion
a bad thing to come to this conclusion it’s a perfect practice and priorities
it’s a perfect practice and priorities
it’s a perfect practice and priorities and we are allowed to change our
and we are allowed to change our
and we are allowed to change our priorities at any time but what if we
priorities at any time but what if we
priorities at any time but what if we really do want to change what I’ve seen
really do want to change what I’ve seen
really do want to change what I’ve seen is that there has been a pattern in
is that there has been a pattern in
is that there has been a pattern in those people who have successfully and
those people who have successfully and
those people who have successfully and sustainably transform their health not
sustainably transform their health not
sustainably transform their health not only do they feel better but they have a
only do they feel better but they have a
only do they feel better but they have a better overall quality of life and they
better overall quality of life and they
better overall quality of life and they experience more joy and more happiness
experience more joy and more happiness
experience more joy and more happiness in their everyday I’ve seen that the
in their everyday I’ve seen that the
in their everyday I’ve seen that the singular key to long last health and
singular key to long last health and
singular key to long last health and happiness is connection and it’s
happiness is connection and it’s
happiness is connection and it’s connection Cheers over nearly a decade
connection Cheers over nearly a decade
connection Cheers over nearly a decade of seeing clients one-on-one and
of seeing clients one-on-one and
of seeing clients one-on-one and teaching workshops and retreats I found
teaching workshops and retreats I found
teaching workshops and retreats I found that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of
that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of
that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of health less and less instead we talk
health less and less instead we talk
health less and less instead we talk about resilience habits worthiness and
about resilience habits worthiness and
about resilience habits worthiness and relationships now yes of course you must
relationships now yes of course you must
relationships now yes of course you must ensure that you have the foundational
ensure that you have the foundational
ensure that you have the foundational knowledge and skills which by the way is
knowledge and skills which by the way is
knowledge and skills which by the way is not eating carrot sticks to lose weight
not eating carrot sticks to lose weight
not eating carrot sticks to lose weight but the mechanics are often far more
but the mechanics are often far more
but the mechanics are often far more simple than people assume all you really
simple than people assume all you really
simple than people assume all you really need is one small tool to meet daily one
need is one small tool to meet daily one
need is one small tool to meet daily one small action and that’s it
small action and that’s it
small action and that’s it so with even this why are we not six
so with even this why are we not six
so with even this why are we not six in order to more deeply understand
in order to more deeply understand
in order to more deeply understand connection let’s for a moment talk about
connection let’s for a moment talk about
connection let’s for a moment talk about disconnection have you ever sat in front
disconnection have you ever sat in front
disconnection have you ever sat in front of the TV to eat a meal and all of a
of the TV to eat a meal and all of a
of the TV to eat a meal and all of a sudden you realized you finished and you
sudden you realized you finished and you
sudden you realized you finished and you only remember taking the first two bites
only remember taking the first two bites
only remember taking the first two bites or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator
or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator
or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator and everyone has their phones out
and everyone has their phones out
and everyone has their phones out because waiting for 30 seconds was too
because waiting for 30 seconds was too
because waiting for 30 seconds was too long or like I have done you start
long or like I have done you start
long or like I have done you start scrolling on social media and all of a
scrolling on social media and all of a
scrolling on social media and all of a sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection
sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection
sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection is seated in our lives in these small
is seated in our lives in these small
is seated in our lives in these small moments disconnection can seem harmless
moments disconnection can seem harmless
moments disconnection can seem harmless in these instances but it is a sign of a
in these instances but it is a sign of a
in these instances but it is a sign of a deeper unwillingness to be present with
deeper unwillingness to be present with
deeper unwillingness to be present with ourselves and this can have graver
ourselves and this can have graver
ourselves and this can have graver consequences in my late teens and early
consequences in my late teens and early
consequences in my late teens and early 20s I manifested this disconnection as
20s I manifested this disconnection as
20s I manifested this disconnection as an eating disorder not listening to your
an eating disorder not listening to your
an eating disorder not listening to your body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty
body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty
body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty good sign that things are out of balance
good sign that things are out of balance
good sign that things are out of balance one day I overheard a classmate say oh
one day I overheard a classmate say oh
one day I overheard a classmate say oh I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for
I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for
I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for the day wait what you can just not eat
the day wait what you can just not eat
the day wait what you can just not eat because you’ve had enough in hindsight
because you’ve had enough in hindsight
because you’ve had enough in hindsight in hindsight this is one of the things
in hindsight this is one of the things
in hindsight this is one of the things that sparked my decision to restrict and
that sparked my decision to restrict and
that sparked my decision to restrict and in some ways doing so was effortless for
in some ways doing so was effortless for
in some ways doing so was effortless for me I just chose what was enough and that
me I just chose what was enough and that
me I just chose what was enough and that was it and to be clear I have a good
was it and to be clear I have a good
was it and to be clear I have a good relationship with my family and it was a
relationship with my family and it was a
relationship with my family and it was a happy time of my life but it was not a
happy time of my life but it was not a
happy time of my life but it was not a foundation for fulfillment or growth I
foundation for fulfillment or growth I
foundation for fulfillment or growth I was stuck in the same negative cycle day
was stuck in the same negative cycle day
was stuck in the same negative cycle day in and day out and I felt like a hamster
in and day out and I felt like a hamster
in and day out and I felt like a hamster on a wheel with no way off this all came
on a wheel with no way off this all came
on a wheel with no way off this all came to a head when I was healing and I was
to a head when I was healing and I was
to a head when I was healing and I was diagnosed as being allergic to food yep
diagnosed as being allergic to food yep
diagnosed as being allergic to food yep it is possible to be allergic to
it is possible to be allergic to
it is possible to be allergic to everything
everything
everything I couldn’t understand how something so
I couldn’t understand how something so
I couldn’t understand how something so drastic and debilitating happened until
drastic and debilitating happened until
drastic and debilitating happened until one day when I was sitting in a
one day when I was sitting in a
one day when I was sitting in a continuing education course we were
continuing education course we were
continuing education course we were talking about how to foster her self
talking about how to foster her self
talking about how to foster her self love and self connection in our clients
love and self connection in our clients
love and self connection in our clients and I had to put up my hand and ask but
and I had to put up my hand and ask but
and I had to put up my hand and ask but how
how
how we do that I was met with many blank
we do that I was met with many blank
we do that I was met with many blank stares and I realized in horror that I
stares and I realized in horror that I
stares and I realized in horror that I had no idea how to truly care for myself
had no idea how to truly care for myself
had no idea how to truly care for myself I was so disconnected that I didn’t know
I was so disconnected that I didn’t know
I was so disconnected that I didn’t know who I was or what I needed to feel good
who I was or what I needed to feel good
who I was or what I needed to feel good and this is where my true healing began
and this is where my true healing began
and this is where my true healing began on the flip side I have seen so many
on the flip side I have seen so many
on the flip side I have seen so many instances of people deciding to forge a
instances of people deciding to forge a
instances of people deciding to forge a deeper connection with themselves and
deeper connection with themselves and
deeper connection with themselves and they’ve lost weight and healed
they’ve lost weight and healed
they’ve lost weight and healed relationships and grasped on to joy
relationships and grasped on to joy
relationships and grasped on to joy between the cracks of desperation one of
between the cracks of desperation one of
between the cracks of desperation one of my clients will call her Sophie she came
my clients will call her Sophie she came
my clients will call her Sophie she came to me a few years ago with the goal of
to me a few years ago with the goal of
to me a few years ago with the goal of losing weight I think she wanted to lose
losing weight I think she wanted to lose
losing weight I think she wanted to lose 40 pounds over the first few sessions we
40 pounds over the first few sessions we
40 pounds over the first few sessions we started to talk about setting better
started to talk about setting better
started to talk about setting better boundaries and the relationships in her
boundaries and the relationships in her
boundaries and the relationships in her life and there was one in particular
life and there was one in particular
life and there was one in particular that was a huge source of stress for her
that was a huge source of stress for her
that was a huge source of stress for her the relationship with her brother was
the relationship with her brother was
the relationship with her brother was filled with codependent behavior and
filled with codependent behavior and
filled with codependent behavior and passive aggressive tendencies by the
passive aggressive tendencies by the
passive aggressive tendencies by the time that Sophie and I concluded our
time that Sophie and I concluded our
time that Sophie and I concluded our work together
work together
work together she had healed the relationship with her
she had healed the relationship with her
she had healed the relationship with her brother and they were now speaking and
brother and they were now speaking and
brother and they were now speaking and supporting each other in a way that they
supporting each other in a way that they
supporting each other in a way that they never had before
never had before
never had before oh yeah and she lost weight too you see
oh yeah and she lost weight too you see
oh yeah and she lost weight too you see magic happens when we actively create a
magic happens when we actively create a
magic happens when we actively create a deeper connection to what makes us tick
deeper connection to what makes us tick
deeper connection to what makes us tick what brings us joy and what we need to
what brings us joy and what we need to
what brings us joy and what we need to feel our best you know those people who
feel our best you know those people who
feel our best you know those people who are annoyingly self-assured like not in
are annoyingly self-assured like not in
are annoyingly self-assured like not in a cocky way but in a way that they
a cocky way but in a way that they
a cocky way but in a way that they really know what they want and they
really know what they want and they
really know what they want and they aren’t swayed by what others think
aren’t swayed by what others think
aren’t swayed by what others think that’s self confidence in a way that
that’s self confidence in a way that
that’s self confidence in a way that signals a deep connection so connection
signals a deep connection so connection
signals a deep connection so connection seems like a broad idea but the good
seems like a broad idea but the good
seems like a broad idea but the good news is is that it’s made up of a few
news is is that it’s made up of a few
news is is that it’s made up of a few simple components that are available to
simple components that are available to
simple components that are available to everyone
everyone
everyone I’d love to share with you my four keys
I’d love to share with you my four keys
I’d love to share with you my four keys to connection the first is awareness
to connection the first is awareness
to connection the first is awareness just like the cliche you need to know
just like the cliche you need to know
just like the cliche you need to know how will where you already or are in
how will where you already or are in
how will where you already or are in order to give yourself constructive
order to give yourself constructive
order to give yourself constructive feedback to grow while awareness is a
feedback to grow while awareness is a
feedback to grow while awareness is a crucial first step there are a few more
crucial first step there are a few more
crucial first step there are a few more things that are needed in order to get
things that are needed in order to get
things that are needed in order to get us into action to truly transform our
us into action to truly transform our
us into action to truly transform our lives
lives
lives the second is honesty who has been
the second is honesty who has been
the second is honesty who has been really really honest with themselves
really really honest with themselves
really really honest with themselves over the last couple of weeks months
over the last couple of weeks months
over the last couple of weeks months years you need to come to yourself and
years you need to come to yourself and
years you need to come to yourself and lay it all out yes it may be
lay it all out yes it may be
lay it all out yes it may be uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up
uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up
uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up and yes it may be hard to face but we
and yes it may be hard to face but we
and yes it may be hard to face but we must move through these emotions in
must move through these emotions in
must move through these emotions in order to move forward in our lives and
order to move forward in our lives and
order to move forward in our lives and this is where the third part of our
this is where the third part of our
this is where the third part of our recipe is key compassion you have to
recipe is key compassion you have to
recipe is key compassion you have to pour that on yourself like honey what
pour that on yourself like honey what
pour that on yourself like honey what compassion looks like is deciding to
compassion looks like is deciding to
compassion looks like is deciding to take an outsider view to your thoughts
take an outsider view to your thoughts
take an outsider view to your thoughts and your actions and respond objectively
and your actions and respond objectively
and your actions and respond objectively and with feelings of love and acceptance
and with feelings of love and acceptance
and with feelings of love and acceptance now I don’t expect this to be easy or to
now I don’t expect this to be easy or to
now I don’t expect this to be easy or to even feel natural at first but self
even feel natural at first but self
even feel natural at first but self compassion is a practice that must be
compassion is a practice that must be
compassion is a practice that must be cultivated and for self trust you need
cultivated and for self trust you need
cultivated and for self trust you need to know that when you say you’ll do
to know that when you say you’ll do
to know that when you say you’ll do something you will self trust is like a
something you will self trust is like a
something you will self trust is like a muscle and it must be built slowly over
muscle and it must be built slowly over
muscle and it must be built slowly over time you can’t expect to pick up a 50
time you can’t expect to pick up a 50
time you can’t expect to pick up a 50 pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a
pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a
pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a year course when previously you could
year course when previously you could
year course when previously you could only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay
only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay
only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay and acceptable to start really small
and acceptable to start really small
and acceptable to start really small here and in fact it’s what I recommend
here and in fact it’s what I recommend
here and in fact it’s what I recommend promise yourself not to hit the snooze
promise yourself not to hit the snooze
promise yourself not to hit the snooze button eat a veggie rich lunch every day
button eat a veggie rich lunch every day
button eat a veggie rich lunch every day or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner
or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner
or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner with these foundational habits you can
with these foundational habits you can
with these foundational habits you can create anything you want the last
create anything you want the last
create anything you want the last crucial piece is to make a committed
crucial piece is to make a committed
crucial piece is to make a committed decision to pursue your growth a
decision to pursue your growth a
decision to pursue your growth a committed decision will move mountains
committed decision will move mountains
committed decision will move mountains with far less effort than you could
with far less effort than you could
with far less effort than you could imagine and now I would love to share
imagine and now I would love to share
imagine and now I would love to share with you two practical tools that you
with you two practical tools that you
with you two practical tools that you can use in order to help foster that
can use in order to help foster that
can use in order to help foster that self connection and also move you
self connection and also move you
self connection and also move you forward in your life the first is my
forward in your life the first is my
forward in your life the first is my two-minute rule two minutes of deep
two-minute rule two minutes of deep
two-minute rule two minutes of deep breathing or something that brings you
breathing or something that brings you
breathing or something that brings you joy every day you know that feeling when
joy every day you know that feeling when
joy every day you know that feeling when you’re sitting on a beach and you’re
you’re sitting on a beach and you’re
you’re sitting on a beach and you’re relaxed and you can feel the sand in
relaxed and you can feel the sand in
relaxed and you can feel the sand in your toes and
your toes and
your toes and Sun on your face that kind of deep
Sun on your face that kind of deep
Sun on your face that kind of deep relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s
relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s
relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your
snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your
snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your kids or watching the sunset drop into
kids or watching the sunset drop into
kids or watching the sunset drop into that feeling for two minutes a day no
that feeling for two minutes a day no
that feeling for two minutes a day no matter what the second is to create a
matter what the second is to create a
matter what the second is to create a non-negotiable keystone habit from your
non-negotiable keystone habit from your
non-negotiable keystone habit from your newfound connection you can set an
newfound connection you can set an
newfound connection you can set an intention and then break that down until
intention and then break that down until
intention and then break that down until you find a singular action that will
you find a singular action that will
you find a singular action that will move you toward that goal now there are
move you toward that goal now there are
move you toward that goal now there are two requirements to this one one it must
two requirements to this one one it must
two requirements to this one one it must take you less than ten minutes and two
take you less than ten minutes and two
take you less than ten minutes and two you must do it every day common examples
you must do it every day common examples
you must do it every day common examples of this are organizing tidying moving
of this are organizing tidying moving
of this are organizing tidying moving your body or journaling and now with
your body or journaling and now with
your body or journaling and now with this one don’t take yourself too
this one don’t take yourself too
this one don’t take yourself too seriously treat it like a self
seriously treat it like a self
seriously treat it like a self experiment or just like in real science
experiment or just like in real science
experiment or just like in real science you just may fail more than you succeed
you just may fail more than you succeed
you just may fail more than you succeed expect it learn from it course correct
expect it learn from it course correct
expect it learn from it course correct and never stop taking action I trust
and never stop taking action I trust
and never stop taking action I trust that this will stay with you in some
that this will stay with you in some
that this will stay with you in some small or big way and as Marianne
small or big way and as Marianne
small or big way and as Marianne Williamson so famously says our deepest
Williamson so famously says our deepest
Williamson so famously says our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our
fear is not that we are inadequate our
fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful
deepest fear is that we are powerful
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure and what I say is don’t
beyond measure and what I say is don’t
beyond measure and what I say is don’t be afraid of the powerful person that
be afraid of the powerful person that
be afraid of the powerful person that you are meant to evolve into thank you
you are meant to evolve into thank you
you are meant to evolve into thank you [Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
who would love to gain more energy and
who would love to gain more energy and perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows
perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows
perhaps lose a few pounds and who knows at least one thing you could do to move
at least one thing you could do to move
at least one thing you could do to move you toward that goal great so why don’t
you toward that goal great so why don’t
you toward that goal great so why don’t we do it this is the question that I
we do it this is the question that I
we do it this is the question that I have pursued over the last nine and a
have pursued over the last nine and a
have pursued over the last nine and a half years practicing as a holistic
half years practicing as a holistic
half years practicing as a holistic nutritionist and life coach I think we
nutritionist and life coach I think we
nutritionist and life coach I think we can all agree our health is valuable I
can all agree our health is valuable I
can all agree our health is valuable I mean it’s our health but how we treat it
mean it’s our health but how we treat it
mean it’s our health but how we treat it is kind of like taking out the trash
is kind of like taking out the trash
is kind of like taking out the trash first we ignore it then we push it down
first we ignore it then we push it down
first we ignore it then we push it down and then it gets unruly we know we
and then it gets unruly we know we
and then it gets unruly we know we should deal with it but we don’t and
should deal with it but we don’t and
should deal with it but we don’t and eventually we’re forced to the fact that
eventually we’re forced to the fact that
eventually we’re forced to the fact that we are similarly ignoring our health is
we are similarly ignoring our health is
we are similarly ignoring our health is becoming more and more obvious in 2012
becoming more and more obvious in 2012
becoming more and more obvious in 2012 2013 the CDC reported that 70 point
2013 the CDC reported that 70 point
2013 the CDC reported that 70 point seven percent of adults in the United
seven percent of adults in the United
seven percent of adults in the United States are obese or overweight and
States are obese or overweight and
States are obese or overweight and Canada is not far behind preventable
Canada is not far behind preventable
Canada is not far behind preventable diseases are our largest killers and
diseases are our largest killers and
diseases are our largest killers and ninety-one percent of women hate their
ninety-one percent of women hate their
ninety-one percent of women hate their bodies perhaps the most frightening
bodies perhaps the most frightening
bodies perhaps the most frightening statistic almost eighteen percent of
statistic almost eighteen percent of
statistic almost eighteen percent of children aged 6 to 11 are considered
children aged 6 to 11 are considered
children aged 6 to 11 are considered obese this is not okay when we feel good
obese this is not okay when we feel good
obese this is not okay when we feel good we live each day as the best version of
we live each day as the best version of
we live each day as the best version of ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a
ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a
ourselves who wouldn’t want that for a more patient parent we model better
more patient parent we model better
more patient parent we model better behavior and we’re a more present spouse
behavior and we’re a more present spouse
behavior and we’re a more present spouse co-worker and friend and these are just
co-worker and friend and these are just
co-worker and friend and these are just the connections we know of when you feel
the connections we know of when you feel
the connections we know of when you feel good you just might smile to a stranger
good you just might smile to a stranger
good you just might smile to a stranger on the street and you never know the
on the street and you never know the
on the street and you never know the impact that that can have this is the
impact that that can have this is the
impact that that can have this is the kind
kind
kind world that I want to live in humans are
world that I want to live in humans are
world that I want to live in humans are meant to evolve we are driven to better
meant to evolve we are driven to better
meant to evolve we are driven to better ourselves and growth is a fundamental
ourselves and growth is a fundamental
ourselves and growth is a fundamental setting that we were all born with
setting that we were all born with
setting that we were all born with without this pursuit of growth we feel
without this pursuit of growth we feel
without this pursuit of growth we feel listless complacent and depressed so
listless complacent and depressed so
listless complacent and depressed so let’s revisit my original question why
let’s revisit my original question why
let’s revisit my original question why don’t we do the things we know are good
don’t we do the things we know are good
don’t we do the things we know are good for us first we need to get a hard truth
for us first we need to get a hard truth
for us first we need to get a hard truth out of the way maybe just maybe you
out of the way maybe just maybe you
out of the way maybe just maybe you don’t actually want what you’re striving
don’t actually want what you’re striving
don’t actually want what you’re striving for can you relate to realizing that
for can you relate to realizing that
for can you relate to realizing that eating snack packs and carrot sticks
eating snack packs and carrot sticks
eating snack packs and carrot sticks three meals a day and saying no to going
three meals a day and saying no to going
three meals a day and saying no to going out to dinner with friends again just
out to dinner with friends again just
out to dinner with friends again just isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not
isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not
isn’t worth the last 10 pounds it’s not a bad thing to come to this conclusion
a bad thing to come to this conclusion
a bad thing to come to this conclusion it’s a perfect practice and priorities
it’s a perfect practice and priorities
it’s a perfect practice and priorities and we are allowed to change our
and we are allowed to change our
and we are allowed to change our priorities at any time but what if we
priorities at any time but what if we
priorities at any time but what if we really do want to change what I’ve seen
really do want to change what I’ve seen
really do want to change what I’ve seen is that there has been a pattern in
is that there has been a pattern in
is that there has been a pattern in those people who have successfully and
those people who have successfully and
those people who have successfully and sustainably transform their health not
sustainably transform their health not
sustainably transform their health not only do they feel better but they have a
only do they feel better but they have a
only do they feel better but they have a better overall quality of life and they
better overall quality of life and they
better overall quality of life and they experience more joy and more happiness
experience more joy and more happiness
experience more joy and more happiness in their everyday I’ve seen that the
in their everyday I’ve seen that the
in their everyday I’ve seen that the singular key to long last health and
singular key to long last health and
singular key to long last health and happiness is connection and it’s
happiness is connection and it’s
happiness is connection and it’s connection Cheers over nearly a decade
connection Cheers over nearly a decade
connection Cheers over nearly a decade of seeing clients one-on-one and
of seeing clients one-on-one and
of seeing clients one-on-one and teaching workshops and retreats I found
teaching workshops and retreats I found
teaching workshops and retreats I found that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of
that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of
that I’ve taught the how-to mechanics of health less and less instead we talk
health less and less instead we talk
health less and less instead we talk about resilience habits worthiness and
about resilience habits worthiness and
about resilience habits worthiness and relationships now yes of course you must
relationships now yes of course you must
relationships now yes of course you must ensure that you have the foundational
ensure that you have the foundational
ensure that you have the foundational knowledge and skills which by the way is
knowledge and skills which by the way is
knowledge and skills which by the way is not eating carrot sticks to lose weight
not eating carrot sticks to lose weight
not eating carrot sticks to lose weight but the mechanics are often far more
but the mechanics are often far more
but the mechanics are often far more simple than people assume all you really
simple than people assume all you really
simple than people assume all you really need is one small tool to meet daily one
need is one small tool to meet daily one
need is one small tool to meet daily one small action and that’s it
small action and that’s it
small action and that’s it so with even this why are we not six
so with even this why are we not six
so with even this why are we not six in order to more deeply understand
in order to more deeply understand
in order to more deeply understand connection let’s for a moment talk about
connection let’s for a moment talk about
connection let’s for a moment talk about disconnection have you ever sat in front
disconnection have you ever sat in front
disconnection have you ever sat in front of the TV to eat a meal and all of a
of the TV to eat a meal and all of a
of the TV to eat a meal and all of a sudden you realized you finished and you
sudden you realized you finished and you
sudden you realized you finished and you only remember taking the first two bites
only remember taking the first two bites
only remember taking the first two bites or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator
or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator
or perhaps you’re waiting at an elevator and everyone has their phones out
and everyone has their phones out
and everyone has their phones out because waiting for 30 seconds was too
because waiting for 30 seconds was too
because waiting for 30 seconds was too long or like I have done you start
long or like I have done you start
long or like I have done you start scrolling on social media and all of a
scrolling on social media and all of a
scrolling on social media and all of a sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection
sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection
sudden 30 minutes goes by disconnection is seated in our lives in these small
is seated in our lives in these small
is seated in our lives in these small moments disconnection can seem harmless
moments disconnection can seem harmless
moments disconnection can seem harmless in these instances but it is a sign of a
in these instances but it is a sign of a
in these instances but it is a sign of a deeper unwillingness to be present with
deeper unwillingness to be present with
deeper unwillingness to be present with ourselves and this can have graver
ourselves and this can have graver
ourselves and this can have graver consequences in my late teens and early
consequences in my late teens and early
consequences in my late teens and early 20s I manifested this disconnection as
20s I manifested this disconnection as
20s I manifested this disconnection as an eating disorder not listening to your
an eating disorder not listening to your
an eating disorder not listening to your body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty
body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty
body’s basic hunger cues is a pretty good sign that things are out of balance
good sign that things are out of balance
good sign that things are out of balance one day I overheard a classmate say oh
one day I overheard a classmate say oh
one day I overheard a classmate say oh I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for
I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for
I’m not eating I’ve had my calories for the day wait what you can just not eat
the day wait what you can just not eat
the day wait what you can just not eat because you’ve had enough in hindsight
because you’ve had enough in hindsight
because you’ve had enough in hindsight in hindsight this is one of the things
in hindsight this is one of the things
in hindsight this is one of the things that sparked my decision to restrict and
that sparked my decision to restrict and
that sparked my decision to restrict and in some ways doing so was effortless for
in some ways doing so was effortless for
in some ways doing so was effortless for me I just chose what was enough and that
me I just chose what was enough and that
me I just chose what was enough and that was it and to be clear I have a good
was it and to be clear I have a good
was it and to be clear I have a good relationship with my family and it was a
relationship with my family and it was a
relationship with my family and it was a happy time of my life but it was not a
happy time of my life but it was not a
happy time of my life but it was not a foundation for fulfillment or growth I
foundation for fulfillment or growth I
foundation for fulfillment or growth I was stuck in the same negative cycle day
was stuck in the same negative cycle day
was stuck in the same negative cycle day in and day out and I felt like a hamster
in and day out and I felt like a hamster
in and day out and I felt like a hamster on a wheel with no way off this all came
on a wheel with no way off this all came
on a wheel with no way off this all came to a head when I was healing and I was
to a head when I was healing and I was
to a head when I was healing and I was diagnosed as being allergic to food yep
diagnosed as being allergic to food yep
diagnosed as being allergic to food yep it is possible to be allergic to
it is possible to be allergic to
it is possible to be allergic to everything
everything
everything I couldn’t understand how something so
I couldn’t understand how something so
I couldn’t understand how something so drastic and debilitating happened until
drastic and debilitating happened until
drastic and debilitating happened until one day when I was sitting in a
one day when I was sitting in a
one day when I was sitting in a continuing education course we were
continuing education course we were
continuing education course we were talking about how to foster her self
talking about how to foster her self
talking about how to foster her self love and self connection in our clients
love and self connection in our clients
love and self connection in our clients and I had to put up my hand and ask but
and I had to put up my hand and ask but
and I had to put up my hand and ask but how
how
how we do that I was met with many blank
we do that I was met with many blank
we do that I was met with many blank stares and I realized in horror that I
stares and I realized in horror that I
stares and I realized in horror that I had no idea how to truly care for myself
had no idea how to truly care for myself
had no idea how to truly care for myself I was so disconnected that I didn’t know
I was so disconnected that I didn’t know
I was so disconnected that I didn’t know who I was or what I needed to feel good
who I was or what I needed to feel good
who I was or what I needed to feel good and this is where my true healing began
and this is where my true healing began
and this is where my true healing began on the flip side I have seen so many
on the flip side I have seen so many
on the flip side I have seen so many instances of people deciding to forge a
instances of people deciding to forge a
instances of people deciding to forge a deeper connection with themselves and
deeper connection with themselves and
deeper connection with themselves and they’ve lost weight and healed
they’ve lost weight and healed
they’ve lost weight and healed relationships and grasped on to joy
relationships and grasped on to joy
relationships and grasped on to joy between the cracks of desperation one of
between the cracks of desperation one of
between the cracks of desperation one of my clients will call her Sophie she came
my clients will call her Sophie she came
my clients will call her Sophie she came to me a few years ago with the goal of
to me a few years ago with the goal of
to me a few years ago with the goal of losing weight I think she wanted to lose
losing weight I think she wanted to lose
losing weight I think she wanted to lose 40 pounds over the first few sessions we
40 pounds over the first few sessions we
40 pounds over the first few sessions we started to talk about setting better
started to talk about setting better
started to talk about setting better boundaries and the relationships in her
boundaries and the relationships in her
boundaries and the relationships in her life and there was one in particular
life and there was one in particular
life and there was one in particular that was a huge source of stress for her
that was a huge source of stress for her
that was a huge source of stress for her the relationship with her brother was
the relationship with her brother was
the relationship with her brother was filled with codependent behavior and
filled with codependent behavior and
filled with codependent behavior and passive aggressive tendencies by the
passive aggressive tendencies by the
passive aggressive tendencies by the time that Sophie and I concluded our
time that Sophie and I concluded our
time that Sophie and I concluded our work together
work together
work together she had healed the relationship with her
she had healed the relationship with her
she had healed the relationship with her brother and they were now speaking and
brother and they were now speaking and
brother and they were now speaking and supporting each other in a way that they
supporting each other in a way that they
supporting each other in a way that they never had before
never had before
never had before oh yeah and she lost weight too you see
oh yeah and she lost weight too you see
oh yeah and she lost weight too you see magic happens when we actively create a
magic happens when we actively create a
magic happens when we actively create a deeper connection to what makes us tick
deeper connection to what makes us tick
deeper connection to what makes us tick what brings us joy and what we need to
what brings us joy and what we need to
what brings us joy and what we need to feel our best you know those people who
feel our best you know those people who
feel our best you know those people who are annoyingly self-assured like not in
are annoyingly self-assured like not in
are annoyingly self-assured like not in a cocky way but in a way that they
a cocky way but in a way that they
a cocky way but in a way that they really know what they want and they
really know what they want and they
really know what they want and they aren’t swayed by what others think
aren’t swayed by what others think
aren’t swayed by what others think that’s self confidence in a way that
that’s self confidence in a way that
that’s self confidence in a way that signals a deep connection so connection
signals a deep connection so connection
signals a deep connection so connection seems like a broad idea but the good
seems like a broad idea but the good
seems like a broad idea but the good news is is that it’s made up of a few
news is is that it’s made up of a few
news is is that it’s made up of a few simple components that are available to
simple components that are available to
simple components that are available to everyone
everyone
everyone I’d love to share with you my four keys
I’d love to share with you my four keys
I’d love to share with you my four keys to connection the first is awareness
to connection the first is awareness
to connection the first is awareness just like the cliche you need to know
just like the cliche you need to know
just like the cliche you need to know how will where you already or are in
how will where you already or are in
how will where you already or are in order to give yourself constructive
order to give yourself constructive
order to give yourself constructive feedback to grow while awareness is a
feedback to grow while awareness is a
feedback to grow while awareness is a crucial first step there are a few more
crucial first step there are a few more
crucial first step there are a few more things that are needed in order to get
things that are needed in order to get
things that are needed in order to get us into action to truly transform our
us into action to truly transform our
us into action to truly transform our lives
lives
lives the second is honesty who has been
the second is honesty who has been
the second is honesty who has been really really honest with themselves
really really honest with themselves
really really honest with themselves over the last couple of weeks months
over the last couple of weeks months
over the last couple of weeks months years you need to come to yourself and
years you need to come to yourself and
years you need to come to yourself and lay it all out yes it may be
lay it all out yes it may be
lay it all out yes it may be uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up
uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up
uncomfortable yes it can bring stuff up and yes it may be hard to face but we
and yes it may be hard to face but we
and yes it may be hard to face but we must move through these emotions in
must move through these emotions in
must move through these emotions in order to move forward in our lives and
order to move forward in our lives and
order to move forward in our lives and this is where the third part of our
this is where the third part of our
this is where the third part of our recipe is key compassion you have to
recipe is key compassion you have to
recipe is key compassion you have to pour that on yourself like honey what
pour that on yourself like honey what
pour that on yourself like honey what compassion looks like is deciding to
compassion looks like is deciding to
compassion looks like is deciding to take an outsider view to your thoughts
take an outsider view to your thoughts
take an outsider view to your thoughts and your actions and respond objectively
and your actions and respond objectively
and your actions and respond objectively and with feelings of love and acceptance
and with feelings of love and acceptance
and with feelings of love and acceptance now I don’t expect this to be easy or to
now I don’t expect this to be easy or to
now I don’t expect this to be easy or to even feel natural at first but self
even feel natural at first but self
even feel natural at first but self compassion is a practice that must be
compassion is a practice that must be
compassion is a practice that must be cultivated and for self trust you need
cultivated and for self trust you need
cultivated and for self trust you need to know that when you say you’ll do
to know that when you say you’ll do
to know that when you say you’ll do something you will self trust is like a
something you will self trust is like a
something you will self trust is like a muscle and it must be built slowly over
muscle and it must be built slowly over
muscle and it must be built slowly over time you can’t expect to pick up a 50
time you can’t expect to pick up a 50
time you can’t expect to pick up a 50 pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a
pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a
pound dumbbell perhaps committing to a year course when previously you could
year course when previously you could
year course when previously you could only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay
only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay
only handle 10 pounds it’s totally okay and acceptable to start really small
and acceptable to start really small
and acceptable to start really small here and in fact it’s what I recommend
here and in fact it’s what I recommend
here and in fact it’s what I recommend promise yourself not to hit the snooze
promise yourself not to hit the snooze
promise yourself not to hit the snooze button eat a veggie rich lunch every day
button eat a veggie rich lunch every day
button eat a veggie rich lunch every day or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner
or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner
or go for a 10-minute walk after dinner with these foundational habits you can
with these foundational habits you can
with these foundational habits you can create anything you want the last
create anything you want the last
create anything you want the last crucial piece is to make a committed
crucial piece is to make a committed
crucial piece is to make a committed decision to pursue your growth a
decision to pursue your growth a
decision to pursue your growth a committed decision will move mountains
committed decision will move mountains
committed decision will move mountains with far less effort than you could
with far less effort than you could
with far less effort than you could imagine and now I would love to share
imagine and now I would love to share
imagine and now I would love to share with you two practical tools that you
with you two practical tools that you
with you two practical tools that you can use in order to help foster that
can use in order to help foster that
can use in order to help foster that self connection and also move you
self connection and also move you
self connection and also move you forward in your life the first is my
forward in your life the first is my
forward in your life the first is my two-minute rule two minutes of deep
two-minute rule two minutes of deep
two-minute rule two minutes of deep breathing or something that brings you
breathing or something that brings you
breathing or something that brings you joy every day you know that feeling when
joy every day you know that feeling when
joy every day you know that feeling when you’re sitting on a beach and you’re
you’re sitting on a beach and you’re
you’re sitting on a beach and you’re relaxed and you can feel the sand in
relaxed and you can feel the sand in
relaxed and you can feel the sand in your toes and
your toes and
your toes and Sun on your face that kind of deep
Sun on your face that kind of deep
Sun on your face that kind of deep relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s
relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s
relaxation and peace maybe for you it’s snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your
snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your
snuggling in bed sharing a hug with your kids or watching the sunset drop into
kids or watching the sunset drop into
kids or watching the sunset drop into that feeling for two minutes a day no
that feeling for two minutes a day no
that feeling for two minutes a day no matter what the second is to create a
matter what the second is to create a
matter what the second is to create a non-negotiable keystone habit from your
non-negotiable keystone habit from your
non-negotiable keystone habit from your newfound connection you can set an
newfound connection you can set an
newfound connection you can set an intention and then break that down until
intention and then break that down until
intention and then break that down until you find a singular action that will
you find a singular action that will
you find a singular action that will move you toward that goal now there are
move you toward that goal now there are
move you toward that goal now there are two requirements to this one one it must
two requirements to this one one it must
two requirements to this one one it must take you less than ten minutes and two
take you less than ten minutes and two
take you less than ten minutes and two you must do it every day common examples
you must do it every day common examples
you must do it every day common examples of this are organizing tidying moving
of this are organizing tidying moving
of this are organizing tidying moving your body or journaling and now with
your body or journaling and now with
your body or journaling and now with this one don’t take yourself too
this one don’t take yourself too
this one don’t take yourself too seriously treat it like a self
seriously treat it like a self
seriously treat it like a self experiment or just like in real science
experiment or just like in real science
experiment or just like in real science you just may fail more than you succeed
you just may fail more than you succeed
you just may fail more than you succeed expect it learn from it course correct
expect it learn from it course correct
expect it learn from it course correct and never stop taking action I trust
and never stop taking action I trust
and never stop taking action I trust that this will stay with you in some
that this will stay with you in some
that this will stay with you in some small or big way and as Marianne
small or big way and as Marianne
small or big way and as Marianne Williamson so famously says our deepest
Williamson so famously says our deepest
Williamson so famously says our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our
fear is not that we are inadequate our
fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful
deepest fear is that we are powerful
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure and what I say is don’t
beyond measure and what I say is don’t
beyond measure and what I say is don’t be afraid of the powerful person that
be afraid of the powerful person that
be afraid of the powerful person that you are meant to evolve into thank you
you are meant to evolve into thank you
you are meant to evolve into thank you [Applause]
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