[Applause]
somewhere someone’s dream is coming true
is it your dream what is your dream life
look like have you even thought about it
how do you write your success story
Christmas Eve 2008 I said on the floor
of my bedroom
legs straight propped up against the bed
a bottle of Jack Daniels into one hand
and a loaded 9-millimeter in the other I
decided that day that night that I would
take my life what I thought about myself
what I thought others thought about me
was I wasn’t valuable
I wasn’t useful what I felt inside was
that I just floundered through life with
no purpose with no passion why am I even
here
what I believed about myself was that I
was indeed useless so I decided to end
it one of the hardest decisions that I
ever had to make
so what is your success story look like
I’m not a success story I’m up here but
I’m not a success story I battle every
day I battle negative thoughts I battle
obstacles just like you we overcome
adversity together but I’m not a success
story I battle in order to be successful
I I had to hack into my brain I I didn’t
know exactly how to do that until later
on when somebody thought that I was
worth saving someone saw something in me
that I didn’t see someone believed in me
when I didn’t believe in myself
well my talk is going to be about is
about how you
can hack into your brain and rewire it
rewire your brain structure in order to
be successful it starts with what’s in
our brains now you might remember Marge
and Homer Simpson from the popular TV
show The Simpsons but sighs see some of
you right now we’re pointing at your
spouse – don’t point I know that looks
like your spouse’s brain sometimes with
no point repressed rage and Marge’s
brain and sex on the brain with homer
and Marge’s brain she’s got the
supermarket mapped out but in homers
brain he’s he’s got don’t and sleep and
donuts you must first fix what’s going
on inside you before you can fix what’s
going on around you you must first know
what’s in our brains and why you think
feel and believe the things about the
world that you do where does it all come
from well let’s check out how you go
grocery shopping who buys things on cost
a couple of you who buys things on cost
about familiarity I mean look at the
branding mothers choose jiff what a
great slogan mothers choose jiff what
about kicks kids tested mothers approved
who would want to buy that cereal look
at the way that you buy the fads no GMO
msg gluten-free
I know people who will never go to a
fast-food restaurant they make that
choice so how do you go grocery shopping
have you ever thought about that
my family we definitely buy things on
cost but we definitely have that one
brand that we’re always going to go to
we always have that familiarity that
jiff my grandmother made Jeff peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches so if we
know what shapes our decisions culture
familiarity with our brand’s past
experiences similar situations that put
us in how we make these decisions well
let’s try a demonstration
let’s try a demonstration where whether
it be positive or negative ignoring
thoughts can be unproductive they can be
counterproductive let’s do this
everybody say oh I want you to look at
the white bear the cute and cuddly
beautiful looking bear it’s got his paws
wrapped around the baby bear we
sometimes see the Bears of the zoo on
Discovery Channel magazines we see polar
bears everywhere so what I want you to
do for the next minute is I want you to
close your eyes and we’re not gonna
think about the white bear so everybody
right now close your eyes and I don’t
want you to think about the white bear
don’t think about any polar bears not
even the cute cuddly ones that you just
saw up here no polar bears don’t think
about the polar bears whatever you do do
not think about the polar bears I’m not
sure if I said that don’t think about
the polar bears not even polar bears at
the zoo I forgot to mention that not
even polar bears at the zoo oh when the
Christmas Bears that usually come around
this time of year don’t think about the
Christmas Bears the coca-cola Bears or
the Santa Claus Bears whatever you do
don’t think about a polar bear oh and
don’t think about polar bears I forgot
to mention that don’t think about polar
bears cute cuddly with their black nose
and beady eyes don’t think about white
polar bears or baby polar bears don’t
think about those either
okay now open your eyes were you
successful or not thinking about a polar
bear well why I said now I can think
about the polar bears why did you think
about the polar bears see we do that
ourselves we we agonize over a breakup a
bad career move somebody did something
wrong to us so we we think about these
thoughts constantly and they become
consuming to us but how do we get those
thoughts out of our head you see Tony
Rahm has famously said we’re folk
goes your energy will flow what that
means is that where you apply your
attention your energy will follow you
subconsciously apply energy to not
thinking about those thoughts and what
ends up happening you think about those
thoughts and you agonize over those
thoughts well what does all this mean it
starts with the acceptance acceptance
you know we can’t remove the pain that
we inevitably will feel in life we can’t
remove the loss the grief the hardships
we inevitably are going to go through
those things in life but what we can do
is we can accept those thoughts that we
have whether it be positive or negative
what it’s saying is that we’re positive
energy goes you will see the positives
if you focus on the negatives then
that’s what you will see you will see
negatives who recently bought a car in
the past six months
I bet you see that thing everywhere but
you never saw it before you bought it
but you see it now because you’re
choosing to focus on that I see that car
I own that car so now I see it
everywhere it’s the same thing in every
situation every negative thing that we
come through we’re gonna focus on it and
we’ll only see negatives now if you
apply energy towards that positives you
will inevitably see the positive this is
acceptance is not about blocking out
those negative adversities that are
that’s going to come to us
acceptance is about making meaning of
those adversities it’s about making
meaning out of every situation I want
you to think into every situation that
you go through what’s most important
right now what is most important right
now about this situation every bad thing
that happens you what’s most important
right now
you see acceptance allows us to have
those expectations of that moment and
then we make meaning of that and we grow
so let’s look at the London cab driver
research this by far is the most
fascinating research that I have I have
ever seen
Elinor McGuire and Catherine Woollett
from the neuroimaging College of London
followed seventy-nine cab drivers three
brutal three to four year process to
become a cab driver it takes three to
four years to memorize all of the London
streets because of their intricacies and
how they intersect each other it takes
three to four years and even then the
final test which is called the knowledge
examination of London twelve times it
takes the passed that tests and in this
study
half of those 79 cab drivers didn’t pass
so they follow 79 cab drivers through a
three to four year process and he took
MRIs of their brains and what they found
from the 31 other controls the big
alarming factor was that they rewired
their brain structure they found a way
through rigorous training that they
could actually restructure their brains
nerve cells in the hippocampus the
hippocampus area of your brain is
located on the cerebral cortex and is
responsible for short and long term
memory and what they found was that you
can actually with a rigorous everyday
habit restructure your brain which begs
the question what habits do you need a
break what habits in your life do you
need a break do you need to scale back
some social media maybe not watch the
news so much or do you need to read
everyday you can actually rewire your
brains structure your neuroplasticity
with a rigorous
they have it so maybe we have a habit of
grabbity gratitude maybe adopt a
mindfulness habit so let’s put it all
together how do we rewire our brains
knowing what we think feel and believe
about ourselves and what we think feel
and believe about the world how are we
going to rewire our brains adopt a habit
every day you’re one step closer like I
said I’m not a success story it took me
three years to get on this stage every
day finding events every day dreaming of
this moment so today my dream has come
true that I made it to the TEDx stage
and for the past three years I’ve a
ganache Dover this moment and everyday I
was one step closer to a yes and I was
one step closer to achieving my dream so
I want to thank you for sharing my dream
with me thank you
[Applause]
you
somewhere someone’s dream is coming true
is it your dream what is your dream life
look like have you even thought about it
how do you write your success story
Christmas Eve 2008 I said on the floor
of my bedroom
legs straight propped up against the bed
a bottle of Jack Daniels into one hand
and a loaded 9-millimeter in the other I
decided that day that night that I would
take my life what I thought about myself
what I thought others thought about me
was I wasn’t valuable
I wasn’t useful what I felt inside was
that I just floundered through life with
no purpose with no passion why am I even
here
what I believed about myself was that I
was indeed useless so I decided to end
it one of the hardest decisions that I
ever had to make
so what is your success story look like
I’m not a success story I’m up here but
I’m not a success story I battle every
day I battle negative thoughts I battle
obstacles just like you we overcome
adversity together but I’m not a success
story I battle in order to be successful
I I had to hack into my brain I I didn’t
know exactly how to do that until later
on when somebody thought that I was
worth saving someone saw something in me
that I didn’t see someone believed in me
when I didn’t believe in myself
well my talk is going to be about is
about how you
can hack into your brain and rewire it
rewire your brain structure in order to
be successful it starts with what’s in
our brains now you might remember Marge
and Homer Simpson from the popular TV
show The Simpsons but sighs see some of
you right now we’re pointing at your
spouse – don’t point I know that looks
like your spouse’s brain sometimes with
no point repressed rage and Marge’s
brain and sex on the brain with homer
and Marge’s brain she’s got the
supermarket mapped out but in homers
brain he’s he’s got don’t and sleep and
donuts you must first fix what’s going
on inside you before you can fix what’s
going on around you you must first know
what’s in our brains and why you think
feel and believe the things about the
world that you do where does it all come
from well let’s check out how you go
grocery shopping who buys things on cost
a couple of you who buys things on cost
about familiarity I mean look at the
branding mothers choose jiff what a
great slogan mothers choose jiff what
about kicks kids tested mothers approved
who would want to buy that cereal look
at the way that you buy the fads no GMO
msg gluten-free
I know people who will never go to a
fast-food restaurant they make that
choice so how do you go grocery shopping
have you ever thought about that
my family we definitely buy things on
cost but we definitely have that one
brand that we’re always going to go to
we always have that familiarity that
jiff my grandmother made Jeff peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches so if we
know what shapes our decisions culture
familiarity with our brand’s past
experiences similar situations that put
us in how we make these decisions well
let’s try a demonstration
let’s try a demonstration where whether
it be positive or negative ignoring
thoughts can be unproductive they can be
counterproductive let’s do this
everybody say oh I want you to look at
the white bear the cute and cuddly
beautiful looking bear it’s got his paws
wrapped around the baby bear we
sometimes see the Bears of the zoo on
Discovery Channel magazines we see polar
bears everywhere so what I want you to
do for the next minute is I want you to
close your eyes and we’re not gonna
think about the white bear so everybody
right now close your eyes and I don’t
want you to think about the white bear
don’t think about any polar bears not
even the cute cuddly ones that you just
saw up here no polar bears don’t think
about the polar bears whatever you do do
not think about the polar bears I’m not
sure if I said that don’t think about
the polar bears not even polar bears at
the zoo I forgot to mention that not
even polar bears at the zoo oh when the
Christmas Bears that usually come around
this time of year don’t think about the
Christmas Bears the coca-cola Bears or
the Santa Claus Bears whatever you do
don’t think about a polar bear oh and
don’t think about polar bears I forgot
to mention that don’t think about polar
bears cute cuddly with their black nose
and beady eyes don’t think about white
polar bears or baby polar bears don’t
think about those either
okay now open your eyes were you
successful or not thinking about a polar
bear well why I said now I can think
about the polar bears why did you think
about the polar bears see we do that
ourselves we we agonize over a breakup a
bad career move somebody did something
wrong to us so we we think about these
thoughts constantly and they become
consuming to us but how do we get those
thoughts out of our head you see Tony
Rahm has famously said we’re folk
goes your energy will flow what that
means is that where you apply your
attention your energy will follow you
subconsciously apply energy to not
thinking about those thoughts and what
ends up happening you think about those
thoughts and you agonize over those
thoughts well what does all this mean it
starts with the acceptance acceptance
you know we can’t remove the pain that
we inevitably will feel in life we can’t
remove the loss the grief the hardships
we inevitably are going to go through
those things in life but what we can do
is we can accept those thoughts that we
have whether it be positive or negative
what it’s saying is that we’re positive
energy goes you will see the positives
if you focus on the negatives then
that’s what you will see you will see
negatives who recently bought a car in
the past six months
I bet you see that thing everywhere but
you never saw it before you bought it
but you see it now because you’re
choosing to focus on that I see that car
I own that car so now I see it
everywhere it’s the same thing in every
situation every negative thing that we
come through we’re gonna focus on it and
we’ll only see negatives now if you
apply energy towards that positives you
will inevitably see the positive this is
acceptance is not about blocking out
those negative adversities that are
that’s going to come to us
acceptance is about making meaning of
those adversities it’s about making
meaning out of every situation I want
you to think into every situation that
you go through what’s most important
right now what is most important right
now about this situation every bad thing
that happens you what’s most important
right now
you see acceptance allows us to have
those expectations of that moment and
then we make meaning of that and we grow
so let’s look at the London cab driver
research this by far is the most
fascinating research that I have I have
ever seen
Elinor McGuire and Catherine Woollett
from the neuroimaging College of London
followed seventy-nine cab drivers three
brutal three to four year process to
become a cab driver it takes three to
four years to memorize all of the London
streets because of their intricacies and
how they intersect each other it takes
three to four years and even then the
final test which is called the knowledge
examination of London twelve times it
takes the passed that tests and in this
study
half of those 79 cab drivers didn’t pass
so they follow 79 cab drivers through a
three to four year process and he took
MRIs of their brains and what they found
from the 31 other controls the big
alarming factor was that they rewired
their brain structure they found a way
through rigorous training that they
could actually restructure their brains
nerve cells in the hippocampus the
hippocampus area of your brain is
located on the cerebral cortex and is
responsible for short and long term
memory and what they found was that you
can actually with a rigorous everyday
habit restructure your brain which begs
the question what habits do you need a
break what habits in your life do you
need a break do you need to scale back
some social media maybe not watch the
news so much or do you need to read
everyday you can actually rewire your
brains structure your neuroplasticity
with a rigorous
they have it so maybe we have a habit of
grabbity gratitude maybe adopt a
mindfulness habit so let’s put it all
together how do we rewire our brains
knowing what we think feel and believe
about ourselves and what we think feel
and believe about the world how are we
going to rewire our brains adopt a habit
every day you’re one step closer like I
said I’m not a success story it took me
three years to get on this stage every
day finding events every day dreaming of
this moment so today my dream has come
true that I made it to the TEDx stage
and for the past three years I’ve a
ganache Dover this moment and everyday I
was one step closer to a yes and I was
one step closer to achieving my dream so
I want to thank you for sharing my dream
with me thank you
[Applause]
you
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