I would never go back I looked into a
cell at a woman’s name who I do not know
but a face I could never forget she
looked at me the day before she was
gonna be transferred to death row at a
penitentiary up north and she whispered
I want my life to matter now before you
think I shanked someone with the Shiv
and served hard time in a pen let me pop
this suburban bubble real quick I was 26
years old bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
and a friend of mine who worked for Los
Angeles Correctional Facility invited me
into prison to share with a group of
women I had just graduated graduate
school and I felt like it was a
wonderful opportunity to be able to give
back to my own community
had I known then that there will be a
million eleven million people in the
jail system in this great country this
year alone I’ve might have been
discouraged I might have even been
dissuaded at the statistic that every
three out of four inmates will go back
and be re-incarcerated I might even been
depressed over the statistic that there
are more prisons and jails in there are
colleges and universities but not to be
outdone I was excited to give back and
take a look at the sea of faces that
stood before me but the reason why I
said yes is in thinking about this is
these women we’re living a life that I
could have even easily led according to
statistics I could have been repeating
the generational cycle of those that
have gone before me living on the
concrete streets of Los Angeles these
women I thought were very different from
me but were they I’m a first generation
American I can’t I was raised in the
hood I was a recipient of donated
clothes and food I was academically
illiterate I couldn’t read write or
spell at the age of 12 and I was obese
growing up
according to statistics I could have
been repeating the generational cycles
again and again and again
I prepared a talk and I was excited to
be able to walk into this room to a sea
of completely uninterested faces some
with tattoos on their necks creeping up
to their face telling me and my momma
where we could go and I was excited that
was it that was funny friends that was
not scary okay
I loved it to decieve disinterested
faces and I had prepared a talk on
succeeding and overcoming a surprisingly
the message was received very well and
hearts were open but I think that the
walls began to dissipate when I gave
them a particular assignment we all kind
of got cozy and got to know each other
and I gave him the piece of paper and I
gave them a pencil and I said the
assignment is to write down the one
thing that you want in this moment of
your life surprisingly the predominant I
got two predominant responses the first
one was freedom which shouldn’t be a
surprise right I mean who wouldn’t want
to get out of jail but how they express
and articulated freedom is different
than you and I might think women went
around the room and said I want to be
free of addiction I want to be free to
dream again I want to be free to be with
my children I want to be free to live
the life that I thought maybe once I
could I saw the broken humanity in their
chicken-scratch writings on index cards
with prison approved dole golf pencils I
was excited and I felt like we had a
moment I was packing up my stuff to
leave when a prison guard had made his
way over to me during the presentation I
saw a woman who was watching our
gathering behind a cell it was a
plexiglass wall huge Plexiglas wall and
there was small holes that she is able
to communicate to the guards or in this
case listening to our presentation
I caught hers and the guard had informed
me that this woman was being taken to
death row at a penitentiary up north the
very next day
but she had requested to speak with me
before I could even process what he said
he assured me over to her and they
introduced myself in hushed tones she
looked through the plexiglass and
whispered into a cutout circles for
communication and she said I want to
tell you what I want I want purpose I
want my life to matter the guard had
whisked me away because bed checks were
about to start he had taken me to an
electronically bolted door that opened
up into a long cavernous windowless
hallway with fluorescent lighting that
rung up above and I walked in silence to
a bulletproof window where I received my
keys my wallet and my phone I walked in
silence to my car and I sat there
completely gobsmacked at the simplistic
yet profound understanding that these
women had freedom and purpose it’s what
we all want that day was so emotional
and if I’m honest with you it was scary
they told me I couldn’t wear high heels
because a shoe could fly off and someone
could shank me with it hand to heaven
that really happened and so I got into
my car and I drove away and I said I
will never go back to prison
fast forward a few years later I find
myself working for a global anti human
trafficking organization called a21 so
Global office with 13 offices in 12
different countries and I had the unique
honor and privilege of being the global
communications officer while some people
like Liam Neeson like to bust down
brothel doors and rescue women out of
sex slavery they’re referred to as
freedom fighters I wear high heels and
fake eyelashes and believe in the power
of words I was gonna be a freedom writer
right I was gonna sit safe and sane and
secure at a desk here in California that
was until I received an email from a
co-worker a co-worker was in a field
office and Thessaloniki Greece and she
explained to me that she believed that
there was a woman who had been
trafficked a VOT a victim of trafficking
but unfortunately no one can communicate
with her
she only spoke Spanish she went on to
communicate to me that my coworker
informed the lawyer and the jail that I
was flying into town to do a global
training and I would gladly be the
translator to which I said hold up
homegirl
listen I’m latina and yes I am Brown but
the Spanish I learned was watching soap
operas called novellas with my Puerto
Rican grandmother okay
to speak about the illegal ramifications
of entry into the European Union without
proper documentation are you kidding me
to which I replied back I I can’t do
this so what she replied back you are
our only option to which I replied back
well then I’m your best option I hopped
on the plane that day and I was already
scheduled to be there to do a global
training but when I landed in
Thessaloniki I was picked up by our
lawyer and taken over to a jail I was
met outside by a guard standing
completely straight i me up and down as
I walked towards him he stood behind a
chain-link fence complete with barbed
wire at the top and he speaks to me in
broken English she says are you the
translator to which I say si yo soy
complete with the thumb and everything
because nothing says professional like a
thumbs up guys I was so nervous I was
trying to remember all the Spanish
phrases I possibly could in order to
exercise some foreign language muscle
memory I’ll never forget the scene of
entering into this jail and being
escorted to the second floor of the
detention center as I walked up I still
remember it was mint colored walls and
mint colored stairs but as I ascended to
the second level I entered in a haze of
thick cigarette smoke there was prison
guards smoking talking back and forth to
each other as they kept their eye on a
row after row after row of cells one
guard came over to me and escorted me to
a particular cell and in this particular
cell concrete floors concrete walls
concrete ceilings and thick steel
impenetrable bars
keeping the free from the unfree I
stared at these women there was 13 14 15
women laying sandwich like sardines
laying in a state of comatose on a dirty
mat covering themselves with a burlap
blanket I remember thinking to myself
what is going on I don’t know what had a
greater assault on my senses the fact
that it smelled like urine and fecal
matter from the cell next door or the
fact that these women lay listless and
lifeless watching a 12 inch television
monitor screen positioned outside of
their cell of reruns of Dancing with the
Stars
I remember thinking what is going on a
guard motion to a girl she had caramel
color skin like mine and deep chocolate
brown eyes like mine she stood to her
feet and she came forward and the moment
that I said hola maimie bianca nosotros
get em o sell you that her eyes widened
and she bursts out a you the man are you
the mid-water father help me help me
please in that moment I was taken back
to the phrase and the wording of that
death row inmate years before it was
their call and cry for freedom and
ultimately for our pain to have a
purpose but this is what I do know that
this cry of help me isn’t simply for the
incarcerated for there others in our
society in our community in our schools
in our streets that are crying out they
have built imprisonments around
themselves strongholds holding them down
whether that’s debt fear affirmation
addiction drugs alcohol porn we are
building and we are incarcerating our
soul and without even realizing it our
soul cries out from deep within a you
the man are you the man porfavor so the
question that I asked today and the idea
that I proffer is will you speak freedom
over the incarcerated when we speak life
when we speak to the shred of good
within
it awakens something deep within our
soul when we look at someone and say you
have potential you have purpose you are
not done something changes this is the
story of my friend Daphne
I met Daphne at a prison in Lubbock
Texas and her view and us talking
changed my understanding of when freedom
begins this is Daphne and this is Daphne
story of freedom when I first started
coming to jail I was questioning what’s
going on with my life
all I wanted to do at that time was get
out of jail I was mad at my life I was
mad at God I didn’t understand how this
was it like after everything this was it
when you’re incarcerated you don’t think
that anybody cares or anybody is there
or anybody is gonna just love you where
you’re at you think that you’re judged
and you’re beneath and you’re dirty and
you’re not good enough and you’re
rejecting you know you think all these
things and you could just tell from the
look in someone’s eyes that when they
love you and that I’m enough and I’m
beautiful and you’re redeemable when I
came in here into jail I didn’t love
myself and nice ladies that came to
volunteer and teach classes were sweet
enough to love on me until I figured out
that I was loved freedom begins the
moment we believe that we can be set
free if you are free and if you are
walking in purpose will you give keys to
those who are begging for help whether
you believe they deserve it or not one
of my favorite authors says we have been
set free to live a free life but how not
all of us are gonna be called in to anti
trafficking measures not all of us are
gonna bust into prisons but all of us
have the power and potential to speak
life over someone the question is not
whether you are the most articulate
whether you’re the most educated whether
you’re the tallest whether you are the
skinniest whether you most affluent
mothers popular whether you’re most
pretty the question is whether or not
you are the most willing the most
willing to go to the debase of society
the most willing to go to the dredges
the most willing to go to the overlooked
and the under-resourced and tell them
they are worth it tell them that they
have potential tell them and believe it
that if they are not dead then they are
not done this was spoken over Daphne and
it changed her life what I believe is
that when we speak to people in our life
every single day our words have power to
set them free when I looked at that
woman as she
in herself for the very last night she
told me she wanted her life to matter
and I promised her that it would because
it did as it’s been said when you know
the truth it’s the truth that will set
you free thank you