it was around Christmas 1998 my husband
and I had driven to Belgium to see my
parents for lunch and we were sitting at
a table in the dining room
and in the best Belgian tradition there
were fresh pastries and rolls but I
couldn’t eat a bite I was so nervous you
see my husband and I had news we were
there to share something that would turn
around our lives upside down I was
pregnant and I was there to tell my
parents look this is me at a time and we
sat there at the table with pastries and
rolls and I told them and then it got
very quiet my dad stood up and said I’m
going outside for a bit
and he left and my mother’s first
reaction was how will you manage and she
didn’t ask my husband that question she
didn’t ask how will the two of you
manage now she only asked me how will
you manage and at the time I had a
demanding job I was working full-time
and she knew I had no plans to change
that I was ambitious and I wanted to
continue with my career my parents had
taught me that too they raised my
sisters and me with the idea that it was
very important that we go to university
and that we would find our own way in
life and that we would not be dependent
on others until we met that perfect
someone and then of course we would get
married and then things suddenly looked
very different mixing a career with
raising children no no if you work
full-time
you can’t possibly raise a child too if
you have a baby you can work two days a
week maybe three tops and my parents
wanted the best for me no doubt about
that
they wanted what was best for me and for
my baby but they just couldn’t imagine
having a career and raising a child at
the same time think about it my dad was
always working my mom was always at home
and when I was a child when I came home
from school she was always there
waiting for me with a cup of tea and a
cookie and it was wonderful of course
but it also shaped the idea of what was
normal and you all might be thinking
that was back then must have been a long
time ago but I had that Christmas lunch
with my parents in 1998 and that’s
actually not so long ago and this is now
and it’s true a lot has changed since
two-thirds of women are now active on
the labor market men get time of work to
take care of their newborns and women
are spending more times outside the
house working but even more has not
changed the media and advertising
industry keep showing us the classic
image of the husband as the breadwinner
and wife as the homemaker and if an
expert is called on to give an opinion
on radio or television chances are it
will be a man this is actually the case
88% of the time women are only cold on
the 12% of the remaining cases one in
four of the man depicted in newspaper
photos are shown in a work situation
only one in 14 women are and you might
expect adult television watchers and
newspaper readers to be somewhat
resistant to this kind of stereotyping
but children are sensitive to it and
that’s a serious issue
take advertising aimed at children like
this from a holiday toy catalog not one
from 1998 but run from 2018 this is what
our children are seeing today typical
role models and the catalogues are full
of them and in the images our kids see
every day girls still play with dolls
and boys do experiments girls are caring
and boys are adventurous girls spend
time in the kitchen while boys take on
tough jobs and this has a lasting effect
on how children view the division of
labor between men and women and once an
image like that gets embedded in a young
mind it becomes almost impossible to
change it when a child grows up so let’s
talk about free will as you probably
know I’m a politician I’m a member of
d66 a social Liberal Party and I believe
in Liberty I believe in the power of
free will and I believe that individuals
are responsible for their own choices
so why am I so bothered with this kind
of step gender stereotypes leave the
kids alone you might think let them
develop in their own way they can make
their own choices when they grow up
right and if women want to take time to
look after their children Who am I to
criticize that and if women don’t want
to work 60 hours a week why should we
expect them to break through the glass
ultimately women must decide for
themselves how they want to live their
lives a social liberal like I should not
want to interfere with how people live
their lives and this is indeed what you
all would Inc and this would be the case
if there really was free choice based on
complete information and full
transparency but that’s however is not
the case gender stereotyping has a
profound influence on people’s lives
quietly and without even being aware of
it it chokes off free will unconsciously
and unintentionally it shapes our
behavior and it seeps through in
newspaper photos and advertisements and
after a while we really start to believe
that only man can be experts and that
all women like to be in the kitchen like
to clean while their husbands pursue
their careers and then you can tell
yourself that it’s free choice to spend
three afternoons a week driving your
kids to tennis lessons but after a while
it doesn’t seem so free anymore when you
find yourself stuck in a small part-time
job when you find you no longer
developing personally and professionally
or if you find that you actually want to
leave your husband but you don’t dare to
because you’re dependent on his income
what once started as an apparently free
so guess what
I didn’t quit my job my daughter went to
childcare both during and after school
despite my parents warnings and they
still weren’t comfortable with the
situation a demanding job and caring for
a child something had to give
you’re going to be so busy you will
forget to pick up your daughter at
daycare they warned me and they kept
asking her do you like it at daycare
really and when she said yes they asked
her are you sure my daughter is now 19
and she’s getting ready for university
and she didn’t and she doesn’t seem to
have suffered very much and okay
okay I did forget to pick her up once
and I still see her standing there all
alone her coat already on soaking in
front of the daycare and it made me feel
so awful but it happened just once in
all those years and on the other hand
she had a mother who felt good about
herself because she could develop
herself because she could work because
she could set a good example and all
because she could make her own conscious
choices so I speak from experience when
I call upon you to claim that same right
the right to a conscious free choice
free from prejudice about how things
should be
just because everyone else does things
in a certain way and free from the
stereotypical images that continue to
confront us from the husband as the
breadwinner and the wife as the
homemaker of the boy in blue and a girl
in pink
I wanted free choice for my daughter and
I’m sure everybody else here in the room
wants the same for their children and
it’s up to us to give it to them so the
next time you are presented with a
decision please ask yourself is it based
on free choice or is it based on
stereotyping on what your parents told
you or on what the newspapers and
advertisements made you believe and if
you have children try to avoid the same
trap try not to see them only as a boy
or a girl but see them and treat them as
individuals but our own personalities
and characteristics so that day two can
really have a free choice thank you so much
and I had driven to Belgium to see my
parents for lunch and we were sitting at
a table in the dining room
and in the best Belgian tradition there
were fresh pastries and rolls but I
couldn’t eat a bite I was so nervous you
see my husband and I had news we were
there to share something that would turn
around our lives upside down I was
pregnant and I was there to tell my
parents look this is me at a time and we
sat there at the table with pastries and
rolls and I told them and then it got
very quiet my dad stood up and said I’m
going outside for a bit
and he left and my mother’s first
reaction was how will you manage and she
didn’t ask my husband that question she
didn’t ask how will the two of you
manage now she only asked me how will
you manage and at the time I had a
demanding job I was working full-time
and she knew I had no plans to change
that I was ambitious and I wanted to
continue with my career my parents had
taught me that too they raised my
sisters and me with the idea that it was
very important that we go to university
and that we would find our own way in
life and that we would not be dependent
on others until we met that perfect
someone and then of course we would get
married and then things suddenly looked
very different mixing a career with
raising children no no if you work
full-time
you can’t possibly raise a child too if
you have a baby you can work two days a
week maybe three tops and my parents
wanted the best for me no doubt about
that
they wanted what was best for me and for
my baby but they just couldn’t imagine
having a career and raising a child at
the same time think about it my dad was
always working my mom was always at home
and when I was a child when I came home
from school she was always there
waiting for me with a cup of tea and a
cookie and it was wonderful of course
but it also shaped the idea of what was
normal and you all might be thinking
that was back then must have been a long
time ago but I had that Christmas lunch
with my parents in 1998 and that’s
actually not so long ago and this is now
and it’s true a lot has changed since
two-thirds of women are now active on
the labor market men get time of work to
take care of their newborns and women
are spending more times outside the
house working but even more has not
changed the media and advertising
industry keep showing us the classic
image of the husband as the breadwinner
and wife as the homemaker and if an
expert is called on to give an opinion
on radio or television chances are it
will be a man this is actually the case
88% of the time women are only cold on
the 12% of the remaining cases one in
four of the man depicted in newspaper
photos are shown in a work situation
only one in 14 women are and you might
expect adult television watchers and
newspaper readers to be somewhat
resistant to this kind of stereotyping
but children are sensitive to it and
that’s a serious issue
take advertising aimed at children like
this from a holiday toy catalog not one
from 1998 but run from 2018 this is what
our children are seeing today typical
role models and the catalogues are full
of them and in the images our kids see
every day girls still play with dolls
and boys do experiments girls are caring
and boys are adventurous girls spend
time in the kitchen while boys take on
tough jobs and this has a lasting effect
on how children view the division of
labor between men and women and once an
image like that gets embedded in a young
mind it becomes almost impossible to
change it when a child grows up so let’s
talk about free will as you probably
know I’m a politician I’m a member of
d66 a social Liberal Party and I believe
in Liberty I believe in the power of
free will and I believe that individuals
are responsible for their own choices
so why am I so bothered with this kind
of step gender stereotypes leave the
kids alone you might think let them
develop in their own way they can make
their own choices when they grow up
right and if women want to take time to
look after their children Who am I to
criticize that and if women don’t want
to work 60 hours a week why should we
expect them to break through the glass
ultimately women must decide for
themselves how they want to live their
lives a social liberal like I should not
want to interfere with how people live
their lives and this is indeed what you
all would Inc and this would be the case
if there really was free choice based on
complete information and full
transparency but that’s however is not
the case gender stereotyping has a
profound influence on people’s lives
quietly and without even being aware of
it it chokes off free will unconsciously
and unintentionally it shapes our
behavior and it seeps through in
newspaper photos and advertisements and
after a while we really start to believe
that only man can be experts and that
all women like to be in the kitchen like
to clean while their husbands pursue
their careers and then you can tell
yourself that it’s free choice to spend
three afternoons a week driving your
kids to tennis lessons but after a while
it doesn’t seem so free anymore when you
find yourself stuck in a small part-time
job when you find you no longer
developing personally and professionally
or if you find that you actually want to
leave your husband but you don’t dare to
because you’re dependent on his income
what once started as an apparently free
so guess what
I didn’t quit my job my daughter went to
childcare both during and after school
despite my parents warnings and they
still weren’t comfortable with the
situation a demanding job and caring for
a child something had to give
you’re going to be so busy you will
forget to pick up your daughter at
daycare they warned me and they kept
asking her do you like it at daycare
really and when she said yes they asked
her are you sure my daughter is now 19
and she’s getting ready for university
and she didn’t and she doesn’t seem to
have suffered very much and okay
okay I did forget to pick her up once
and I still see her standing there all
alone her coat already on soaking in
front of the daycare and it made me feel
so awful but it happened just once in
all those years and on the other hand
she had a mother who felt good about
herself because she could develop
herself because she could work because
she could set a good example and all
because she could make her own conscious
choices so I speak from experience when
I call upon you to claim that same right
the right to a conscious free choice
free from prejudice about how things
should be
just because everyone else does things
in a certain way and free from the
stereotypical images that continue to
confront us from the husband as the
breadwinner and the wife as the
homemaker of the boy in blue and a girl
in pink
I wanted free choice for my daughter and
I’m sure everybody else here in the room
wants the same for their children and
it’s up to us to give it to them so the
next time you are presented with a
decision please ask yourself is it based
on free choice or is it based on
stereotyping on what your parents told
you or on what the newspapers and
advertisements made you believe and if
you have children try to avoid the same
trap try not to see them only as a boy
or a girl but see them and treat them as
individuals but our own personalities
and characteristics so that day two can
really have a free choice thank you so much
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