[Music]
[Applause]
my name is Michael Conroy and I’ve got
too much power before I explore that
idea I’d like to ask a question like to
go out on a limb and say if you don’t
mind could you raise your hands if you
believe love is important to every
single human being okay thanks
one more bit and it’s not a Mexican wife
can you raise your hands if you think
friendship is important to every single
human being okay I agree I agree with
that kind of response which I think was
pretty unanimous fine let’s park that
let’s keep that Here I am I’m
middle-aged I’m middle-class I’m
able-bodied and I’m white a white man
and when I used to look in the mirror I
just see me but now when I look in the
mirror I see the reality that all of
those things actually give me some
cultural status cultural credit you
could say something I can spend which
equate to power and it’s a power that I
haven’t built for myself it’s one I
inherited I didn’t need to do anything
at all to get it it was just there and I
was born and it’s a power that insulates
me against lots of things it insulates
me against racism it insulates me
against sexism it’s a power that allows
me and people who look like me to
dominate commerce politics culture
journalism all kinds of things for
centuries
and that’s an unwarranted power and it’s
a distortion the interesting thing
though I mean it doesn’t make us
invincible you know we still get ill you
get depressed I suffer from depression
we grieve we have accidents bad things
happen and when people say to people
like me you know middle-class white men
that we are somehow kind of responsible
for certain things we say yeah but look
at my life it’s not perfect I’m not
happy now but we have to look at it was
all together and realize what we’ve got
that perhaps we don’t deserve and we
just need to be honest about it I’m just
gonna have a bit of a an adventure Yeah
right okay
speak truth to power is a great saying
what I really like about this is it
separates the notions of truth and power
because they’re not the same thing and
it asks us to speak to people who may
not want us to speak to them like the
guy in the picture with these fingers in
his ears they have a vested interest in
people being quiet and accepting the
status quo now that might be in their
interest it’s not in the majority
interest okay I figured it out now
now while those benefits and things that
I’ve talked about this that the cultural
credit and the status exists but don’t
make us invincible what they do is they
tend to push us towards the front of
things first in line the most likely to
the the most probable to receive certain
things it’s like having a kind of
phenomenal global pass you know for the
theme-park where you just go straight
through to the front I kind of
queue-jumping ticket so speak truth to
power now the tricky thing with this is
power could be external it could be a
media mogul it could be the Prime
Minister it could be a mayor it could be
a gang boss it could be a sibling it
could be anybody in your network who
exerts power over you but also what we
have to think about is power that we
have ourselves and we have to be aware
of the power we have and how sometimes
that can ripple out badly to people in
our sphere it was that with a few
examples but first off can I say that I
would say in this room there are a
couple of hundred cultural detectives
people who figure things out question
askers researchers and change makers
would you agree with that yeah wee bit
conviction would you agree that you fit
one of those categories brilliant now
then who’s heard of that phrase yeah
okay boys will be boys brilliant
brilliant
I’m pleased I’m already there that’s
great it’s an excuse genius power and
excuses are often found very very
closely together we need to be aware of
that bear that he might boys will be
boys that spans lives from – grapes in
the playground to adolescent
misdemeanors – perhaps sometimes much
more serious things
as adults it’s a kind of mindset and
it’s a ready-made excuse that lives out
there in culture and can be called upon
in hours of need and it can all be part
of a world of excuses and that’s
something is it really in our interest
long-term I would say that boys will be
boys limits our humanity by limiting my
accountability and that the greater the
accountability we have the more fully we
can be human I don’t want to live in a
society that excuses my behavior or my
son’s or my nephew’s because we are boys
or men and with dad I think I’ve just
probably let the cat out of the bag with
that I’ve got a boy in a girl and I’ve
got five nephews sometimes and it’s not
easy it’s a tough job it’s not glamorous
it’s not fun it is fun sorry edit that
no it is fun it’s always fun it’s
definitely not glamorous so yeah
but sometimes we get a lot of credit we
get a lot of praise as men for doing the
basics just for being there just with
cooking the odd meal just for sweeping
up now and then is that ring about with
anybody I don’t know if anybody yeah
okay I’m not opening any cans of worms
in I’ve been given praise for doing
stuff that I would consider they
absolute basics and that isn’t okay
right okay dads cannot babysit for their
own kids in fact
I’ve never been told to smile by
strangers in public I’ve never had
comments made to me about my legs or my
hair or my hips my backside or anything
never and I’m nearly 50 what happens
here a great group holla back have a
look at them hecho Double L a B ACK
holla back they did research with 17,000
women in 22 countries 50% of whom had
been fondled or groped before the age of
17 I believe staggering now that’s about
all those men dominating space and
feeling entitled to dominate space it’s
a really public space if we dominate it
that’s an interesting question I’m
asking loads of questions and I’m giving
no answers
I just think take all other questions
reality is pretty stark at times if
somebody asks me for a day and I say no
I would not expect in my wildest dreams
to be kind of a subjective violence or
harassment as a result of that but that
unfortunately is not the case for some
women quite a few women and we need to
ask ourselves why that is what is that
sense of entitlement and where does it
come from
okay part of this hugely complex parcel
is double standards and hypocrisy he’s a
player
Chisa the language is entirely different
and there are many many many more ways
to describe
sexually active and sexually autonomous
women and there are four men and they
tend to be denigrating
whereas for men they tend to be praised
we need to look at that because that is
broken
a few pictures of power before I swiftly
move on this is what power looks like
generally speaking on the global level I
was meeting for women’s rights inside
your OB birthday cards I think I’ll be
one more minute birthday cards okay as a
daddy tensor or an auntie or uncle or
whatever you represent you buy lots of
birthday cards for your kids and for
their friends now I did some research
but he had done t-shirts and hoodies and
all kinds of stuff I did some research
I’ll click through it I don’t want to
rush in tile if I won’t be more than a
minute that I don’t want to be like for
the others if you go out check out
birthday cards check out the messages on
them because hidden in there these all
kinds of wrong I would say very simply I
checked out one major UK retailer and I
looked in the cards for him section
there were zero cards zero which
mentioned friendship which we all agreed
was vital for human happiness zero nil
in the cards for her section they were
multiple special friend friends like you
were rare and few I love you thank you
for being my friend
all kinds of stuff so we’ve got a taboo
on male friendship openly expressed and
we have an overemphasis on women’s
emotional labour it’s almost its
permission but it’s almost an
instruction you do the emotional work
don’t use those words near me now the
word love the most important word in the
world probably I think on a par with
oxygen and water apart from the
ghastliness of that but that’s real
that’s on sale
those things are on sale it real
I’ll finish on this one I did some more
research on clothing messages for boys
and girls aged I think it was 18 months
to 12 years the boys were captains
champions winners and adventurers and
they did stuff and they found stuff and
they won stuff and the girls tion and
sparkled and smiled lots of the girls
meowed like kittens it seems that they
were kitten people who wanted a pony and
who loved their friends there were none
this is one major retail of clothing
there were no messages at all about
emotion of the boys they don’t exist
check it out please find exceptions
that’s great that’s a sign of hope the
problem is that hidden in plain sight in
our daily life in our shops and our
supermarkets online is an incredible
amount of work to categorize boys to
believe that it’s okay to be one way and
similarly to instruct girls how to
perform and it’s often for the pleasure
of boys visually that doesn’t seem to
work I don’t think that’s in anybody’s
interests so I just like to leave you
with those thoughts and thank you very
much for being for being here
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
my name is Michael Conroy and I’ve got
too much power before I explore that
idea I’d like to ask a question like to
go out on a limb and say if you don’t
mind could you raise your hands if you
believe love is important to every
single human being okay thanks
one more bit and it’s not a Mexican wife
can you raise your hands if you think
friendship is important to every single
human being okay I agree I agree with
that kind of response which I think was
pretty unanimous fine let’s park that
let’s keep that Here I am I’m
middle-aged I’m middle-class I’m
able-bodied and I’m white a white man
and when I used to look in the mirror I
just see me but now when I look in the
mirror I see the reality that all of
those things actually give me some
cultural status cultural credit you
could say something I can spend which
equate to power and it’s a power that I
haven’t built for myself it’s one I
inherited I didn’t need to do anything
at all to get it it was just there and I
was born and it’s a power that insulates
me against lots of things it insulates
me against racism it insulates me
against sexism it’s a power that allows
me and people who look like me to
dominate commerce politics culture
journalism all kinds of things for
centuries
and that’s an unwarranted power and it’s
a distortion the interesting thing
though I mean it doesn’t make us
invincible you know we still get ill you
get depressed I suffer from depression
we grieve we have accidents bad things
happen and when people say to people
like me you know middle-class white men
that we are somehow kind of responsible
for certain things we say yeah but look
at my life it’s not perfect I’m not
happy now but we have to look at it was
all together and realize what we’ve got
that perhaps we don’t deserve and we
just need to be honest about it I’m just
gonna have a bit of a an adventure Yeah
right okay
speak truth to power is a great saying
what I really like about this is it
separates the notions of truth and power
because they’re not the same thing and
it asks us to speak to people who may
not want us to speak to them like the
guy in the picture with these fingers in
his ears they have a vested interest in
people being quiet and accepting the
status quo now that might be in their
interest it’s not in the majority
interest okay I figured it out now
now while those benefits and things that
I’ve talked about this that the cultural
credit and the status exists but don’t
make us invincible what they do is they
tend to push us towards the front of
things first in line the most likely to
the the most probable to receive certain
things it’s like having a kind of
phenomenal global pass you know for the
theme-park where you just go straight
through to the front I kind of
queue-jumping ticket so speak truth to
power now the tricky thing with this is
power could be external it could be a
media mogul it could be the Prime
Minister it could be a mayor it could be
a gang boss it could be a sibling it
could be anybody in your network who
exerts power over you but also what we
have to think about is power that we
have ourselves and we have to be aware
of the power we have and how sometimes
that can ripple out badly to people in
our sphere it was that with a few
examples but first off can I say that I
would say in this room there are a
couple of hundred cultural detectives
people who figure things out question
askers researchers and change makers
would you agree with that yeah wee bit
conviction would you agree that you fit
one of those categories brilliant now
then who’s heard of that phrase yeah
okay boys will be boys brilliant
brilliant
I’m pleased I’m already there that’s
great it’s an excuse genius power and
excuses are often found very very
closely together we need to be aware of
that bear that he might boys will be
boys that spans lives from – grapes in
the playground to adolescent
misdemeanors – perhaps sometimes much
more serious things
as adults it’s a kind of mindset and
it’s a ready-made excuse that lives out
there in culture and can be called upon
in hours of need and it can all be part
of a world of excuses and that’s
something is it really in our interest
long-term I would say that boys will be
boys limits our humanity by limiting my
accountability and that the greater the
accountability we have the more fully we
can be human I don’t want to live in a
society that excuses my behavior or my
son’s or my nephew’s because we are boys
or men and with dad I think I’ve just
probably let the cat out of the bag with
that I’ve got a boy in a girl and I’ve
got five nephews sometimes and it’s not
easy it’s a tough job it’s not glamorous
it’s not fun it is fun sorry edit that
no it is fun it’s always fun it’s
definitely not glamorous so yeah
but sometimes we get a lot of credit we
get a lot of praise as men for doing the
basics just for being there just with
cooking the odd meal just for sweeping
up now and then is that ring about with
anybody I don’t know if anybody yeah
okay I’m not opening any cans of worms
in I’ve been given praise for doing
stuff that I would consider they
absolute basics and that isn’t okay
right okay dads cannot babysit for their
own kids in fact
I’ve never been told to smile by
strangers in public I’ve never had
comments made to me about my legs or my
hair or my hips my backside or anything
never and I’m nearly 50 what happens
here a great group holla back have a
look at them hecho Double L a B ACK
holla back they did research with 17,000
women in 22 countries 50% of whom had
been fondled or groped before the age of
17 I believe staggering now that’s about
all those men dominating space and
feeling entitled to dominate space it’s
a really public space if we dominate it
that’s an interesting question I’m
asking loads of questions and I’m giving
no answers
I just think take all other questions
reality is pretty stark at times if
somebody asks me for a day and I say no
I would not expect in my wildest dreams
to be kind of a subjective violence or
harassment as a result of that but that
unfortunately is not the case for some
women quite a few women and we need to
ask ourselves why that is what is that
sense of entitlement and where does it
come from
okay part of this hugely complex parcel
is double standards and hypocrisy he’s a
player
Chisa the language is entirely different
and there are many many many more ways
to describe
sexually active and sexually autonomous
women and there are four men and they
tend to be denigrating
whereas for men they tend to be praised
we need to look at that because that is
broken
a few pictures of power before I swiftly
move on this is what power looks like
generally speaking on the global level I
was meeting for women’s rights inside
your OB birthday cards I think I’ll be
one more minute birthday cards okay as a
daddy tensor or an auntie or uncle or
whatever you represent you buy lots of
birthday cards for your kids and for
their friends now I did some research
but he had done t-shirts and hoodies and
all kinds of stuff I did some research
I’ll click through it I don’t want to
rush in tile if I won’t be more than a
minute that I don’t want to be like for
the others if you go out check out
birthday cards check out the messages on
them because hidden in there these all
kinds of wrong I would say very simply I
checked out one major UK retailer and I
looked in the cards for him section
there were zero cards zero which
mentioned friendship which we all agreed
was vital for human happiness zero nil
in the cards for her section they were
multiple special friend friends like you
were rare and few I love you thank you
for being my friend
all kinds of stuff so we’ve got a taboo
on male friendship openly expressed and
we have an overemphasis on women’s
emotional labour it’s almost its
permission but it’s almost an
instruction you do the emotional work
don’t use those words near me now the
word love the most important word in the
world probably I think on a par with
oxygen and water apart from the
ghastliness of that but that’s real
that’s on sale
those things are on sale it real
I’ll finish on this one I did some more
research on clothing messages for boys
and girls aged I think it was 18 months
to 12 years the boys were captains
champions winners and adventurers and
they did stuff and they found stuff and
they won stuff and the girls tion and
sparkled and smiled lots of the girls
meowed like kittens it seems that they
were kitten people who wanted a pony and
who loved their friends there were none
this is one major retail of clothing
there were no messages at all about
emotion of the boys they don’t exist
check it out please find exceptions
that’s great that’s a sign of hope the
problem is that hidden in plain sight in
our daily life in our shops and our
supermarkets online is an incredible
amount of work to categorize boys to
believe that it’s okay to be one way and
similarly to instruct girls how to
perform and it’s often for the pleasure
of boys visually that doesn’t seem to
work I don’t think that’s in anybody’s
interests so I just like to leave you
with those thoughts and thank you very
much for being for being here
[Applause]
[Music]
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