so everyone well I’m nervous but I’ll
get through this okay well you see we
have acknowledged debt women and the
yesteryears it does not haven’t had it
easy they fought so hard for us so that
women like you and me we can enjoy the
success of equality today in fact women
of the 21st century have indeed achieved
a lot from entering workforce moving
into professional arenas and breaking
into gender barriers of in most
industries but why there has feminism
met with so much negativity in so much
mixed emotions have feminism becomes so
radicalized that it has lost its true
essence the essence of empowering women
and men equally let’s break down the
word feminism is about advocacy of
women’s rights on ground of the Equality
of the sexes as I speak here you’re
exercising your rights being here as
well aren’t you but it was one word that
stands out for me equality let me give
you a case scenario I mean majority of
your students and you guys would have
worked in group projects so somehow
rather in your group dynamics there will
be this individual who would somehow
claim to be this leader and start
shooting one everyone’s ideas down like
no I don’t think your idea is good I
don’t think your suggestion was good
it’s my way you know and you you get it
done my way how many of you have
received it or how many of you are
guilty of giving that kind of treatment
to someone else you see my question
would be when was the last time you saw
someone as Yuriko when we exercise the
right to shoot someone down we have
actually lost the true of true
understanding of equality
and in fact when we shoot someone out we
stop ourselves from learning from one
you know I’m guilty of that too you know
I want to share a personal story with
you you see I’m married I have a
two-year-old daughter I’m a working mom
so there’s a lot on my plate so last
year from a family trip to Perth when we
came back out of the blue I told my
husband we sit here today there you know
I’m done I’m done with this and he was
like huh why are you talking about call
it quits
you know and then I told him that you
know I feel so overwhelmed like that’s
just I mean I essentially I’m running
the household chores I’m taking care of
everything and and I think I don’t
really need you to be here for me
because I don’t feel that you are being
here for me
and then my husband was very dejected I
could remember and he said this yes
I’m useless the moment he said that it
hurt me a lot because I never saw my
husband as someone who’s useless in fact
I’ve been married a man who is useless
you know he every day would make the
effort to ask me how’s your day and who
made the effort to make me laugh and see
I snore and and he does amazing cute
little silly things that would make me
laugh then why Sonny I thought he would
tell me he’s useless and then I realize
that because I was so overwhelmed with
all the responsibilities of being a mom
being a working it out
being a daughter-in-law being an
employer everything that I became so
resentful
and then the negative emotions came upon
me and I just felt like yeah I I don’t
need you I can I can very manage
everything by myself so I realized that
I was the enabler I realized that it was
me who make him feel useless he’s not
useless in fact he is very capable as it
is so what became a supposed desperate
call for I need your help
became I’m more superior than you and
therefore in his eyes he saw himself as
useless to me was it right you know I’m
glad it I up I I I came to my senses and
I told myself you know what we will work
this out let’s communicate more and
everything and then it really made me
realize that one thing my husband is not
a mind-reader
all men aren’t really in fact the man
would thank me later okay because first
of all ladies you pretty much are a bit
about not wanting to tell men what
you’re thinking about and you let them
second-guess you and then you get upset
because they don’t get you like really
are you you’re pretty much shooting
yourself in your shoes so my message
across today is women we need to learn
to especially tell people what we want
them to know and importantly to
acknowledge the men around us first of
all there are very simple creatures they
enjoy being boys and let them be don’t
ever tell them to man up they enjoy
being in the comfort of their zone like
my husband he loves to watch MotoGP he’s
crazy over bikes
he loves his Netflix just let him be I
say this men do want to give to us they
want to take care of us and they need
be heated and then ladies what’s
stopping you from being feminine when
has this idea of I need to adopt a
masculine persona in order to be
respected or I have to be tough or I
have to dress a certain way just so that
men can see me as their equal
I know I embrace my femininity that’s
because it’s in my DNA I’m a woman come
on I say to you I love cooking for my
husband I love doing house chores to be
honest and I get really emotional every
time I watch anything emotional and just
earlier in the sharings I was actually
cheering when I heard better speaking I
love being a mom I love doing girly
things with my daughter and being
feminine has nothing to do with is not
bad business for feminism in fact do you
know that being feminine is a woman’s
strongest suit showing that you care
showing extending your generosity
extending words of encouragement it
lifts people it’s very empowering there
was one occasion when I was actually
visiting my aunt’s place she lives in a
condo so of course we’re driving up and
that was this security guard the weather
was very very hot and I remember him you
know doing his work smiling at us and
say have a nice day
my immediate thought was hey I have a
cold butter of drink I want to offer it
to him because he needs it sure you
might think this in ROAS me extending a
neck of kindness but beyond there I saw
him as a human who is doing his job and
I saw him he needed me to show that
there
to humanity left in us he needed to be
careful I could and unquote Jack Ma
women have so much potential in them
more than they realized
simply because they are detail-oriented
and caring so really women what’s
stopping you to care what’s stopping you
to embrace your feminine side you know
in the recent polls of billion bees
emma watson the a vogue magazine cover
wearing a white crochet top do you guys
remember it and then very soon she was
song with haters dismissing her good
work for this advocacy and criticizing
her like how she’s embracing you know
she’s being topless and nudity and stuff
like that and i quote unquote her it is
always it just always reveals to me how
many misconceptions and what a
misunderstanding there is about feminism
feminism is about giving women choices
feminism is not a stick with which to
beat other women down it’s about freedom
it’s about liberation is about equality
i don’t know what my tits have to do
with it it’s very confusing to my female
friends let’s stop this girl to go hate
if you really want men to respect you
you should start to respect yourself and
your own gender feminism is not supposed
to be fight spiteful and i can relate to
this I’ll share another story with you I
came from a girl school from Condon
school you see l h where r i was 12 i
reached puberty earlier i had this girl
he’s on me and you know I was given
nicknames nicknames such as mrs. big
boobs
miss chesty oh hey that’s Titanic there
I’m thinking it was awful and this
lasted with me when I was coming to I
was 17 looking back as I recall and I
would you know catch up with my old
friends they were so often say oh you
know we were kids we didn’t know what we
were doing it’s meant to be a joke but
you see feminism never intended to hurt
anyone it should not back when I was a
little girl my grandma would tell me
stories about how she first arrives to
Singapore when she married my
grandfather back in China she shared
stories on how life was so hard and she
was very fortunate to have women to
support her like um in terms of
adjusting her I mean you know me being
friends with her being there for her and
and it’s at a very young age I knew of
this term Swann sisters in Chinese it’s
called here by Jimmy essentially what it
means is they’re not related by blood
this woman’s shares a very strong bond
together and it’s such a big deal that
there will be a traditional ceremony
held where they would offer incense to
the ancestors where their hair
have been cut and binded together as an
act of bonding for life you know and
even to today
my grandma would tell me stories about
how this sister would actually helped
her in terms of taking care of my mom my
arm when she had to run an errand or
that when money wasn’t enough you know
she would helped a
here to ensure that food is on the table
for the children and things like that
and even to today calls off how are you
doing
and how’s your great-grandchild coming
along despite them not being able to
hear very well over the phone you know
such tight bonds really warms my heart
today because I don’t see such strong
sisterhood amongst us anymore since when
have we become so caught up in this idea
this notion that we need to compete with
each other like in this constant cat
race I call that we are criticizing our
own gender you know I once read about an
article on The Daily tired telegraphed
you see I’m a mom a working mom and this
article stood up for me because it title
it should be illegal to be a
stay-at-home mom with school-aged kids
it’s written by a columnist Cyril la
McQueen and according to her allowing
women to stay at home and raise their
kids is bad for the economy it is
worsened by what she calls double
standards regarding welfare benefits in
favor of stay-at-home moms resulting for
the unfair tax concessions and right by
one income household mothers are mothers
being able to stay at home is not doing
anyone any favors not children not
fathers not bosses certainly not women
of course this article was met with a
lot of backlash and as we should watch
earlier about this stay home parent we
know that a stay-at-home mom is not an
easy task in fact is though it’s
probably one of the toughest job in the
you see the idea of me of being a
stay-at-home mom has crossed my mind but
I’ll tell you now I don’t have that
conviction in me to be a stay-at-home
mom
simply because I feel one my personal
life I still want my social life as what
that the father said earlier on it
really accepts you you know emotionally
you have no time for yourself you have
no time for anything else and you just
are constantly so tired but I I think at
the end of the day I choose to work
because it keeps me sane and so that
with this thin mind of mine I can then
continue to care for my family and for
the people around me it’s a choice it’s
a choice I choose to go to work it’s not
because I think that I want to prove to
my bosses that I can clock the same
amount of hours as I used to before or I
think I need to contribute to the
economy it’s not about that it’s about
taking care of myself first but I see
this also to my stay-at-home friends I
mean stay at home for my friends who and
women out there was their home mom’s
continue to do the good work that you do
because the what you put at home the
effort and the time and the energy is
never to be mocked at or to be
criticized about you see my friends end
of the day it’s the choices we choose to
make in closing I share this I mean I I
know what feminism is for and I know
what Simon ISM is not for what is not
for is being misconstrued in many ways
but I like to think that there’s
something bigger beyond this word
equality should not just be
of the same sexes offer of equality of
men and women it should go beyond that
it should go beyond race language
religion and I think I don’t want to
live my life putting a label on myself
calling myself a feminist because it
restricts me it restricts me because you
know there are more important causes out
there that’s beyond what I would want to
support I underneath you’re saying that
because I live I breathe I met her I
make everyday matters to me and I want
to make a people around me
metals thank you [Applause]
get through this okay well you see we
have acknowledged debt women and the
yesteryears it does not haven’t had it
easy they fought so hard for us so that
women like you and me we can enjoy the
success of equality today in fact women
of the 21st century have indeed achieved
a lot from entering workforce moving
into professional arenas and breaking
into gender barriers of in most
industries but why there has feminism
met with so much negativity in so much
mixed emotions have feminism becomes so
radicalized that it has lost its true
essence the essence of empowering women
and men equally let’s break down the
word feminism is about advocacy of
women’s rights on ground of the Equality
of the sexes as I speak here you’re
exercising your rights being here as
well aren’t you but it was one word that
stands out for me equality let me give
you a case scenario I mean majority of
your students and you guys would have
worked in group projects so somehow
rather in your group dynamics there will
be this individual who would somehow
claim to be this leader and start
shooting one everyone’s ideas down like
no I don’t think your idea is good I
don’t think your suggestion was good
it’s my way you know and you you get it
done my way how many of you have
received it or how many of you are
guilty of giving that kind of treatment
to someone else you see my question
would be when was the last time you saw
someone as Yuriko when we exercise the
right to shoot someone down we have
actually lost the true of true
understanding of equality
and in fact when we shoot someone out we
stop ourselves from learning from one
you know I’m guilty of that too you know
I want to share a personal story with
you you see I’m married I have a
two-year-old daughter I’m a working mom
so there’s a lot on my plate so last
year from a family trip to Perth when we
came back out of the blue I told my
husband we sit here today there you know
I’m done I’m done with this and he was
like huh why are you talking about call
it quits
you know and then I told him that you
know I feel so overwhelmed like that’s
just I mean I essentially I’m running
the household chores I’m taking care of
everything and and I think I don’t
really need you to be here for me
because I don’t feel that you are being
here for me
and then my husband was very dejected I
could remember and he said this yes
I’m useless the moment he said that it
hurt me a lot because I never saw my
husband as someone who’s useless in fact
I’ve been married a man who is useless
you know he every day would make the
effort to ask me how’s your day and who
made the effort to make me laugh and see
I snore and and he does amazing cute
little silly things that would make me
laugh then why Sonny I thought he would
tell me he’s useless and then I realize
that because I was so overwhelmed with
all the responsibilities of being a mom
being a working it out
being a daughter-in-law being an
employer everything that I became so
resentful
and then the negative emotions came upon
me and I just felt like yeah I I don’t
need you I can I can very manage
everything by myself so I realized that
I was the enabler I realized that it was
me who make him feel useless he’s not
useless in fact he is very capable as it
is so what became a supposed desperate
call for I need your help
became I’m more superior than you and
therefore in his eyes he saw himself as
useless to me was it right you know I’m
glad it I up I I I came to my senses and
I told myself you know what we will work
this out let’s communicate more and
everything and then it really made me
realize that one thing my husband is not
a mind-reader
all men aren’t really in fact the man
would thank me later okay because first
of all ladies you pretty much are a bit
about not wanting to tell men what
you’re thinking about and you let them
second-guess you and then you get upset
because they don’t get you like really
are you you’re pretty much shooting
yourself in your shoes so my message
across today is women we need to learn
to especially tell people what we want
them to know and importantly to
acknowledge the men around us first of
all there are very simple creatures they
enjoy being boys and let them be don’t
ever tell them to man up they enjoy
being in the comfort of their zone like
my husband he loves to watch MotoGP he’s
crazy over bikes
he loves his Netflix just let him be I
say this men do want to give to us they
want to take care of us and they need
be heated and then ladies what’s
stopping you from being feminine when
has this idea of I need to adopt a
masculine persona in order to be
respected or I have to be tough or I
have to dress a certain way just so that
men can see me as their equal
I know I embrace my femininity that’s
because it’s in my DNA I’m a woman come
on I say to you I love cooking for my
husband I love doing house chores to be
honest and I get really emotional every
time I watch anything emotional and just
earlier in the sharings I was actually
cheering when I heard better speaking I
love being a mom I love doing girly
things with my daughter and being
feminine has nothing to do with is not
bad business for feminism in fact do you
know that being feminine is a woman’s
strongest suit showing that you care
showing extending your generosity
extending words of encouragement it
lifts people it’s very empowering there
was one occasion when I was actually
visiting my aunt’s place she lives in a
condo so of course we’re driving up and
that was this security guard the weather
was very very hot and I remember him you
know doing his work smiling at us and
say have a nice day
my immediate thought was hey I have a
cold butter of drink I want to offer it
to him because he needs it sure you
might think this in ROAS me extending a
neck of kindness but beyond there I saw
him as a human who is doing his job and
I saw him he needed me to show that
there
to humanity left in us he needed to be
careful I could and unquote Jack Ma
women have so much potential in them
more than they realized
simply because they are detail-oriented
and caring so really women what’s
stopping you to care what’s stopping you
to embrace your feminine side you know
in the recent polls of billion bees
emma watson the a vogue magazine cover
wearing a white crochet top do you guys
remember it and then very soon she was
song with haters dismissing her good
work for this advocacy and criticizing
her like how she’s embracing you know
she’s being topless and nudity and stuff
like that and i quote unquote her it is
always it just always reveals to me how
many misconceptions and what a
misunderstanding there is about feminism
feminism is about giving women choices
feminism is not a stick with which to
beat other women down it’s about freedom
it’s about liberation is about equality
i don’t know what my tits have to do
with it it’s very confusing to my female
friends let’s stop this girl to go hate
if you really want men to respect you
you should start to respect yourself and
your own gender feminism is not supposed
to be fight spiteful and i can relate to
this I’ll share another story with you I
came from a girl school from Condon
school you see l h where r i was 12 i
reached puberty earlier i had this girl
he’s on me and you know I was given
nicknames nicknames such as mrs. big
boobs
miss chesty oh hey that’s Titanic there
I’m thinking it was awful and this
lasted with me when I was coming to I
was 17 looking back as I recall and I
would you know catch up with my old
friends they were so often say oh you
know we were kids we didn’t know what we
were doing it’s meant to be a joke but
you see feminism never intended to hurt
anyone it should not back when I was a
little girl my grandma would tell me
stories about how she first arrives to
Singapore when she married my
grandfather back in China she shared
stories on how life was so hard and she
was very fortunate to have women to
support her like um in terms of
adjusting her I mean you know me being
friends with her being there for her and
and it’s at a very young age I knew of
this term Swann sisters in Chinese it’s
called here by Jimmy essentially what it
means is they’re not related by blood
this woman’s shares a very strong bond
together and it’s such a big deal that
there will be a traditional ceremony
held where they would offer incense to
the ancestors where their hair
have been cut and binded together as an
act of bonding for life you know and
even to today
my grandma would tell me stories about
how this sister would actually helped
her in terms of taking care of my mom my
arm when she had to run an errand or
that when money wasn’t enough you know
she would helped a
here to ensure that food is on the table
for the children and things like that
and even to today calls off how are you
doing
and how’s your great-grandchild coming
along despite them not being able to
hear very well over the phone you know
such tight bonds really warms my heart
today because I don’t see such strong
sisterhood amongst us anymore since when
have we become so caught up in this idea
this notion that we need to compete with
each other like in this constant cat
race I call that we are criticizing our
own gender you know I once read about an
article on The Daily tired telegraphed
you see I’m a mom a working mom and this
article stood up for me because it title
it should be illegal to be a
stay-at-home mom with school-aged kids
it’s written by a columnist Cyril la
McQueen and according to her allowing
women to stay at home and raise their
kids is bad for the economy it is
worsened by what she calls double
standards regarding welfare benefits in
favor of stay-at-home moms resulting for
the unfair tax concessions and right by
one income household mothers are mothers
being able to stay at home is not doing
anyone any favors not children not
fathers not bosses certainly not women
of course this article was met with a
lot of backlash and as we should watch
earlier about this stay home parent we
know that a stay-at-home mom is not an
easy task in fact is though it’s
probably one of the toughest job in the
you see the idea of me of being a
stay-at-home mom has crossed my mind but
I’ll tell you now I don’t have that
conviction in me to be a stay-at-home
mom
simply because I feel one my personal
life I still want my social life as what
that the father said earlier on it
really accepts you you know emotionally
you have no time for yourself you have
no time for anything else and you just
are constantly so tired but I I think at
the end of the day I choose to work
because it keeps me sane and so that
with this thin mind of mine I can then
continue to care for my family and for
the people around me it’s a choice it’s
a choice I choose to go to work it’s not
because I think that I want to prove to
my bosses that I can clock the same
amount of hours as I used to before or I
think I need to contribute to the
economy it’s not about that it’s about
taking care of myself first but I see
this also to my stay-at-home friends I
mean stay at home for my friends who and
women out there was their home mom’s
continue to do the good work that you do
because the what you put at home the
effort and the time and the energy is
never to be mocked at or to be
criticized about you see my friends end
of the day it’s the choices we choose to
make in closing I share this I mean I I
know what feminism is for and I know
what Simon ISM is not for what is not
for is being misconstrued in many ways
but I like to think that there’s
something bigger beyond this word
equality should not just be
of the same sexes offer of equality of
men and women it should go beyond that
it should go beyond race language
religion and I think I don’t want to
live my life putting a label on myself
calling myself a feminist because it
restricts me it restricts me because you
know there are more important causes out
there that’s beyond what I would want to
support I underneath you’re saying that
because I live I breathe I met her I
make everyday matters to me and I want
to make a people around me
metals thank you [Applause]
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