[Applause]
living with mental illness means that I
have good days and bad days just like
everyone else but on top of that I have
good weeks and good months and then I
have bad weeks and bad months and the
bad weeks and months make the good ones
seem not so good and in January of 2017
I hit one of those bad points like I
usually do in the winter months but this
one was different
this was one of the lowest points I had
hit yet I felt alone and I felt useless
and I didn’t see the point in waking up
the next morning and then I met a boy I
met a boy who took away the numbness and
made me feel something who made me feel
needed and appreciated and gave me a
reason to wake up the next morning
throughout the relationship I knew that
it wasn’t perfect but he was a safe
choice he was going to college with a
plan for his future he came from a good
family and my mom liked him but most of
all he had saved me from one of the
worst times in my life and because of
that I was scared of what would happen
if I was alone again and then out of
nowhere I was alone again I was alone
for what seemed like a ridiculous reason
and that night I cried I screamed and I
cried and I felt relieved and I didn’t
know what to do so I wrote songs I wrote
songs because that’s what I do when I
don’t know what to do I wrote songs
because I only cried that one night and
I was going to make this something good
this story and these songs are not to
make you feel bad for me or for yourself
but they are meant to make you feel
something whatever it is that you feel
take it with you and act on it these are
the songs that I wrote not only for me
this first song naturally is the first
song that I wrote of the pair it’s kind
of the first phase of how I was feeling
I didn’t know where to go from where I
[Music]
when he left at first I felt broken like
a part of me was missing I didn’t know
what I could say and I was scared of
what would come the next day because he
left did something he swore he would
never – he promised me always said
nothing would change but now I’m stuck
out in the sea is sailing alone and
there was no one I can call to save me
oh and I can call to save me and now I
need someone to throw me a lifeline
someone to be there so when I can call
when it is dark and I am scared and I am
and I know that I will survive this and
I know that at the end of this tunnel
lies alight and I am brave and I am
strong and I am ready for this change
and it gets hard sometimes and I can’t
help but think I won’t get through the
but then the sunrise is and I get out of
bed I put on a smile and shake the
after he left I grew stronger than ever
before I became a new person about her
version of me knowing that without him I
could be happy I’m okay that he left I’m
learning to love myself I’m happier now
than I ever was with him it’s been
lifted off my shoulders I can finally
breathe even though the world was
crashing down on the night that he left
me and now I need someone to answer the
phone line someone to take my call
someone to stop me on nights I think I
need him and remind me of the good times
and I know that I will survive
this and I know that at the end of this
tunnel eyes alight and I am brave and I
am strong and I am ready for this change
in it gets hard sometimes and I can’t
help but think I won’t get through the
night
[Music]
he didn’t deserve me not for a second he
told me he loved me
but now I’ve learned my lesson
not stress boys with a picture-perfect
smile natural eye that they’ll be here
for a while because you can’t always
count on love to last forever and he
left me but it was for the better
[Music]
and then the Sun sets and I get in I
don’t text him goodnight
forget all the pretty things he said
because in the morning I will have a new
day and yes it was fine but no I don’t
need him it’s time for me to go my own
this second song is naturally the second
phase of how I was feeling of realizing
the things that I was too afraid to
admit to myself in the relationship but
there in the mirror stands a blond hair
blue eyes contrasting her heart an empty
shell he says he loves her he treats her
he says forever and her secrets he’ll
never tell but he is always late for
every day and she’s left waiting she
sits alone things to herself why so
heartbreaking he broke her down and wore
her thin and she can’t escape the state
she’s in she’s left their undoing will
anyone ever stay she doesn’t know what
went wrong
they worked for so long now she’s
wondering will it be okay because
it was so sudden though we had it and
they were not only lovers he was her
best friend she still wants to write him
tell him about her day but everything is
different now it shouldn’t be this way
he started declining all her calls and
things once she was ignored he said
nothing was wrong so now she blames
herself he broke her down and wore her
thin and she can’t escape the state
she’s in she’s left there wondering
anyone ever stay
she doesn’t know what went wrong they
were together for so long now she’s
wondering will it be okay because
nothing seems to change it’s not your
fault dear it didn’t all that he had it
took you for granted you shouldn’t be
the one side so go new adventures make
new friends I know you think your life
is over this is not the end
I should know I’ve been there too this
one’s for me and all of you stand in me
I lost myself and his love don’t know
who I am and he’s not he took everything
I’ll never be the same
he broke me down and warned me thin and
I couldn’t escape the state I was in I
was a philandering on anyone ever say I
still don’t know what went wrong your
words there for so long but I’m done
wondering if I’ll be okay because
everything will change
[Music] thank you
living with mental illness means that I
have good days and bad days just like
everyone else but on top of that I have
good weeks and good months and then I
have bad weeks and bad months and the
bad weeks and months make the good ones
seem not so good and in January of 2017
I hit one of those bad points like I
usually do in the winter months but this
one was different
this was one of the lowest points I had
hit yet I felt alone and I felt useless
and I didn’t see the point in waking up
the next morning and then I met a boy I
met a boy who took away the numbness and
made me feel something who made me feel
needed and appreciated and gave me a
reason to wake up the next morning
throughout the relationship I knew that
it wasn’t perfect but he was a safe
choice he was going to college with a
plan for his future he came from a good
family and my mom liked him but most of
all he had saved me from one of the
worst times in my life and because of
that I was scared of what would happen
if I was alone again and then out of
nowhere I was alone again I was alone
for what seemed like a ridiculous reason
and that night I cried I screamed and I
cried and I felt relieved and I didn’t
know what to do so I wrote songs I wrote
songs because that’s what I do when I
don’t know what to do I wrote songs
because I only cried that one night and
I was going to make this something good
this story and these songs are not to
make you feel bad for me or for yourself
but they are meant to make you feel
something whatever it is that you feel
take it with you and act on it these are
the songs that I wrote not only for me
this first song naturally is the first
song that I wrote of the pair it’s kind
of the first phase of how I was feeling
I didn’t know where to go from where I
[Music]
when he left at first I felt broken like
a part of me was missing I didn’t know
what I could say and I was scared of
what would come the next day because he
left did something he swore he would
never – he promised me always said
nothing would change but now I’m stuck
out in the sea is sailing alone and
there was no one I can call to save me
oh and I can call to save me and now I
need someone to throw me a lifeline
someone to be there so when I can call
when it is dark and I am scared and I am
and I know that I will survive this and
I know that at the end of this tunnel
lies alight and I am brave and I am
strong and I am ready for this change
and it gets hard sometimes and I can’t
help but think I won’t get through the
but then the sunrise is and I get out of
bed I put on a smile and shake the
after he left I grew stronger than ever
before I became a new person about her
version of me knowing that without him I
could be happy I’m okay that he left I’m
learning to love myself I’m happier now
than I ever was with him it’s been
lifted off my shoulders I can finally
breathe even though the world was
crashing down on the night that he left
me and now I need someone to answer the
phone line someone to take my call
someone to stop me on nights I think I
need him and remind me of the good times
and I know that I will survive
this and I know that at the end of this
tunnel eyes alight and I am brave and I
am strong and I am ready for this change
in it gets hard sometimes and I can’t
help but think I won’t get through the
night
[Music]
he didn’t deserve me not for a second he
told me he loved me
but now I’ve learned my lesson
not stress boys with a picture-perfect
smile natural eye that they’ll be here
for a while because you can’t always
count on love to last forever and he
left me but it was for the better
[Music]
and then the Sun sets and I get in I
don’t text him goodnight
forget all the pretty things he said
because in the morning I will have a new
day and yes it was fine but no I don’t
need him it’s time for me to go my own
this second song is naturally the second
phase of how I was feeling of realizing
the things that I was too afraid to
admit to myself in the relationship but
there in the mirror stands a blond hair
blue eyes contrasting her heart an empty
shell he says he loves her he treats her
he says forever and her secrets he’ll
never tell but he is always late for
every day and she’s left waiting she
sits alone things to herself why so
heartbreaking he broke her down and wore
her thin and she can’t escape the state
she’s in she’s left their undoing will
anyone ever stay she doesn’t know what
went wrong
they worked for so long now she’s
wondering will it be okay because
it was so sudden though we had it and
they were not only lovers he was her
best friend she still wants to write him
tell him about her day but everything is
different now it shouldn’t be this way
he started declining all her calls and
things once she was ignored he said
nothing was wrong so now she blames
herself he broke her down and wore her
thin and she can’t escape the state
she’s in she’s left there wondering
anyone ever stay
she doesn’t know what went wrong they
were together for so long now she’s
wondering will it be okay because
nothing seems to change it’s not your
fault dear it didn’t all that he had it
took you for granted you shouldn’t be
the one side so go new adventures make
new friends I know you think your life
is over this is not the end
I should know I’ve been there too this
one’s for me and all of you stand in me
I lost myself and his love don’t know
who I am and he’s not he took everything
I’ll never be the same
he broke me down and warned me thin and
I couldn’t escape the state I was in I
was a philandering on anyone ever say I
still don’t know what went wrong your
words there for so long but I’m done
wondering if I’ll be okay because
everything will change
[Music] thank you
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