every day raise your hands okay put them
down how about for more than 30 minutes
a day okay more than an hour
good what about your grandparents do you
speak to them every day no okay so about
four months ago I went to visit my
grandparents 12,000 kilometers away in
Cuba it was the winter holidays and when
I came back I shared with people that
I’d spent the holiday with them telling
them how I’d help my grandmother would
work around the embassy the look on
their faces when I told them this was
like why did you spend two weeks helping
your grandmother with work around the
embassy when you could have been going
out with your friends every day since
I’d been to Cuba most of them also
probably wondered why I hadn’t spent
most of my time at the beach getting tan
and taking selfies that’s when it dawned
on me that very few people would go to
the ends of the world for their family
it caught me thinking about all the
different things that people had shared
with me in all the different countries
that I’d lived in you know they rarely
shared personal things with their
parents they barely knew their
grandparents let alone spoke to them on
a daily basis it’s actually very sad
that teenagers people my age our age
isolate themselves from their family to
a point where they don’t even see each
other every day and if they do they
don’t spend quality time together
unfortunately more often than not this
is a common situation that people find
themselves in my classmates feel that
they can’t confide in their parents and
would rather turn to anybody else but
them to look for a solution for their
problems I’ve seen the way in which they
act parents are rarely mentioned and
when they are it isn’t usually with the
greatest sense of pride very often this
lack of pride comes from the social
stigma that it’s not cool to spend time
with your parents your friends are all
you need this belief along with
increased use of social media by
teenagers around the world has led to
the loss of the direct connection
between parent and child very often when
someone suggests to a teenager
that they should share something with
their parents their first reaction is
always what no never please they don’t
understand they don’t get me god forbid
they find out interestingly enough while
I was doing the research for my TED talk
one of my teachers calls the question to
the class they asked do you think
parents are good teachers there was a
wide array of answers but the one that
struck me the most was that to them
friends were the best teachers they
could ever have one girl even said I’m
not that close with my parents I feel
that since I spent most of my time with
my friends are in the most from them and
they learned the most from me okay
great I’m sure all of us have a blast
with our friends both teenagers and
adults alike but for teenagers is it
really objective you know for you to
take advice from your own friends
your friend might have been through a
similar situation or you could have seen
enough someone instagrammed feet but did
they really make the right decision for
teenagers often listening to their
friends is the best idea you know the
best solution to the problem but
wouldn’t it be better to get advice from
an older person I know you think your
parents are old but it wasn’t so long
ago that they were experiencing the same
things that we are today although
listening to your friends might seem
like the most appealing option it might
lead you to making the wrong decision
some of my classmates during that
discussion went on to say that their
parents as nice as some of them maybe
couldn’t really understand what life was
like for us today because they live
during a different time for them their
friends and their older siblings
understood them better because they
actually lived in today’s world when I
ask them what the huge difference was
between when our parents were our age
and right now I got the answer I
probably tried it the most social media
most people my age have bought into the
social mentality that social media is
the fastest and most often the easiest
way to communicate and in some cases
that is true but it definitely stops
being the best way of communication when
you see a bunch of twelve-year-old kids
who are friends texting each other when
a it’s a sunny or maybe snowy day
outside in Kappa
and it’s the perfect time to take a walk
or they are sitting 10 centimeters away
from each other most literally like you
are right now but they still prefer to
use an app or some kind of chat function
to talk to each other rather sorry
rather than have a conversation
face-to-face this social idea that you
can’t live without your phones has let
the teenagers being pushed further into
the virtual world where they’re pushed
further into this virtual world the
studies show that actually teenagers are
more likely to spend the afternoon
locked away in their room playing a
video game or chatting with their
friends online rather than the them
going outside to play with their
siblings or simply watching TV with
their family according to data from the
Office of Adolescent Health in the
United States in February 2016 an
organization dedicated to improving the
health and healthy development of
adolescents teenagers use their phones
on a daily basis with 71 percent of them
using more than one platform of social
media the most popular ones being
Facebook Instagram and snapchat
although the Office of Adolescent Health
claims that this happens daily I beg to
differ
I’m pretty sure the average teenager
checks their phone every time it lights
up with a new message which is basically
like every three seconds further
research from the Pew Research Center a
fact act that informs a population about
the trends issues and other events that
are shaping our planet states that older
teenagers aged 15 to 17 are more than 60
sorry and the increased amount of time
that teenagers spent on their phones
online may leads to them becoming
comfortable often enough hiding behind a
screen which means that they don’t have
that much face-to-face interaction it’s
much easier to live as an ideal version
of yourself online rather than
constantly having to face criticism in
person I mean if you could wouldn’t you
make your life look like a party on
wheels on your snapchat or Instagram one
thing you should remember though is that
the people whose you with your hair
sticking up the wrong way
or saliva drooling down your chin when
your wake up name namely your parents
are the ones who know the real you you
might spend all of your time with your
friends online but at the end of the day
it’s your parents who remember the
little details like the name of your
first stuffed animal what your first
birthday was like or when you lost your
first tooth since teenagers spend more
and more time online with every year
that goes by after a certain age the
time that they spend with their parents
is significantly minimized when in fact
they should be striving to spend more
time with their parents it has been
statistically proven to have more
positive effect on your life according
to the population Reference Bureau an
organization that aims to inform the
population about population health and
the environment the more time a teenager
spends with their parents the more
likely they are to have less delinquent
behavior overall less substance abuse
and higher math test scores so in
reality although teenagers avoid
spending time with their parents they
should be striving to do so more often
there are many things that we we as
teenagers would like to do to score
better on our mats us but that shouldn’t
be the primary reason you spend time
with your parents spending time with
your parents however does not mean you
need to spend all of your time with them
if nothing else as students we have to
be at school for eight hours a day and
after all we are growing up however you
can start by doing something simple now
I would like you to turn to the person
next to you and brainstorm ideas
teenagers talk about things you would
enjoy doing with your parents parents
you can talk about things you would like
to do to strengthen the relationships
with your children if you’re an adult
but have not yet become a parent just
put yourself in that mindset for the
okay ten seconds as activists that
discussion was and it really does paid
me to interrupt you we have to finish
these TED talks today so what were we
able to come up with raise your hands
yes playing cards and other games is a
great idea to bond with your family
talking and having daily discussions
with your parents is also very important
yes that seems like a very fun idea I
mean who doesn’t love movies like I said
and all of us audience members probably
discuss building a relationship with
your parents comes from the small things
the small details you know the everyday
stuff
for instance when you’re sitting around
the dinner table make sure everyone’s
phone is off and away text them
beforehand if you have to remind them
that way you can discuss how everyone’s
days went and actually have a
face-to-face conversation another idea
might be spending time together over the
weekend that way both you and your
parents will have more free time you
could play a sport or sign up for an art
class it’s a win-win situation you get
to do something you love or learn on
your skill plus you get to spend time
with your parents I wanted to end by
telling you something that my parents
have always told me I know it’s cheesy
but it’s the one thing that reminds me
that no matter what I will never be
alone since I can remember my parents
have always said no matter what you do
no matter when you do it no matter how
bad it is even if you kill a person you
always come and tell us no matter what
you have done we will back you up 1,000%
and we’re the only ones that ever will
don’t get me wrong family and friends
they go hand in hand they complement
each other so next time you want to
share something go ahead share it with
your best friend that’s what they’re
there for
but consider sharing it with your
parents as well I mean you’ll get to
opinions on the subject and you might
find two new best friends thank you
[Applause] [Music]