[Music]
I’m standing on stage today of my
hometown my hometown has the fourth
highest percentage of its population
diagnosed with depression in the country
more people are affected by depression
than any other disease in the world I
myself am no exception to this I’ve been
dealing with depression and mental
illness since I was a child
half of those diagnosed with depression
also suffer from anxiety and paying a
type disorder and that is where I
started for me the story my Mentalist is
not a linear one has been unevenly
spread out through my life with
different different situations depending
on what my life situation was at that
moment when I was just a child
it was the painful grueling paying
attacks I would describe the physical
symptoms of a pain tag as being a heart
attack the flu and breathing through a
straw simultaneously all while you’re
convinced a grizzly bear is king ready
to eat you when in reality you’re just
nervous about going to a party in high
school it was the constant overthinking
and anxious worrying I struggled going
out to eat being with friends and long
car rides and college I was on the track
team and we drive two or three hours for
meets and I’d have to have a bag of
things clenched in my hand advil
pepto-bismol water bottle just in case I
had an anxiety tag anxiety attacks can
become so severe that a person doesn’t
know what’s going on it might be
convinced that they’re having a heart
attack or a stroke and wound up in the
hospital only for the doctor to find
nothing wrong with them in college I was
on the track team I loved College I
loved where I was at in college I was
getting great grades teammates I could
call family a girlfriend
and by junior year I had one conference
championships in heptathlon their high
expectations to go nationals my senior
year in break school record the senior
year everything changed I was blindsided
by depression at first sank in my skin
and doing things like hang out with
friends Sally seemed pointless
maybe I realized I just don’t relate to
them anymore but then depression reached
my bones I couldn’t get a bed I couldn’t
reach for glass water
I couldn’t feed myself how I could even
change my clothes till finally infection
age from heart and every moral and
passion I ever had suddenly came faking
this this is when the unthinkable
happens when I struggle to get the track
practice when I skipped classes when
like so many others I drank my pain away
when I finally had no choice but to quit
the track team when just two semesters
from graduating I thought wasn’t have to
drop out of college I was scared to lose
my life I remember sitting in class
Wayne taking exam the sign if I should
around the door checked myself in the
hospital piece my brain was stolen from
me I was sure of it with the incredible
support my family and friends I survived
I survived and I didn’t end up like the
other 800,000 people who take their own
lives from depression every single year
800,000 people take their own lives from
depression every single year that’s
population my hometown any times over I
was lucky enough to still graduate on
time but I missed out on my senior year
of track in my dream of going to
Nationals and breaking school record
something I can never get back so people
ask me do I regret my depression that
regret everything that happened
absolutely not those dark lonely times I
will mold me the person I am today I
don’t think I’d have half courage I do
now without mental illness mental
illness has taught me to appreciate the
simple things in life
I smell have a hot cup of coffee
laughing sterically with friends put my
phone down having dinner with my family
reading a book that makes you feel
something if I didn’t have these issues
maybe
if I didn’t have these issues maybe I
would have missed these things if I had
been comfortable maybe I wouldn’t be as
passionate and driven in life as I am
right now
if anxiety and depression didn’t allow
me to feel everything and nothing
all at once maybe I wouldn’t have as
much empathy for others as I do now as a
culture we have blurred the lines
between what is someone’s character and
what is the disease and as a result
we’ve created stigmas that are
preventing people from getting help they
need from a lethal yet highly curable
illness the World Health Organization
named depression the number 1:it disease
worldwide one number-one disability
worldwide yet we have to lie to our
bosses lie to our teachers lied our
significant others because we’re afraid
that they’ll think we can never
contribute a society ever again I lied
to so many people I may have so many
excuses because I was embarrassed and
ashamed most often when I gained the
courage to tell people what’s going on
they would say life isn’t that bad man
you’re stressful time in your life or
just be happy those are probably three
most frustrating things I’d ever heard
because deep down I know my life is
wonderful I know how great it is but I
still feel this way you don’t tell a
person with cancer you’ll walk it off
you’re having a bad day so why are we
doing with depression well the disease
since modern time can you think of that
ignorance is caused to become such a
phantom that can fly under the radar
caused so much damage without properly
being diagnosed and seen for what it is
to be the root of so much addiction and
destruction if I could give one piece of
advice someone who’s trying to help
someone through depression has never
gone through on their own it would be
this
don’t try to understand it that’s not
the point don’t avoid the conversation
gives you something profound to say the
greatest thing you can do is just show
up the people who helped me helped me
through the hardest time were there to
remind me that I wasn’t alone in this
that my brain was lying to me
neide people who loved me they were
there to ride out the storm
we will save lives from depression when
the conversation of it is casual enough
to have her on the dinner table
personally my largest state might
overcome was medication I put it off for
so long I believe what everyone said
that was a shot in the dark that I had
so many side effects so the doctor just
wants your money that it wasn’t natural
finally I just didn’t cared
I had a weigh the pros and cons could
the medications possibly be more
damaging to my body than what I was
doing to myself without it
I couldn’t imagine so or his medication
going to be like putting on a set of
glasses and seeing the clearest I’d ever
seen in my life only then realizing how
bad my vision was prior if a diabetic
told you they weren’t taking the insulin
you’d be baffled goes the same for a
very depressive it’s no different I can
honestly say that says taking medication
I feel like I have my life back this is
the part of me that was stolen was
returned I can start to work on
relationships again and work on my
dreams again before I was just convinced
that I was a pessimistic person with
constant racing jumping thoughts and
that’s just the way it was and it’s just
simply not true but please do not
misinterpret this as being a magic
bullet it is not the way we treat mental
illness still is a very long way to go
but this is a step in the right
direction I like to say the best balance
for helping people with depression is
therapy medication meditation fitness
and diet I like to say that medications
like water wings that helps
keep your head afloat so you can stay
consistent with your wellness plan and
follow through I have one last piece of
advice for anyone who’s going through
Mentos you can have the best therapy in
the world the best medication and the
best support system but if you don’t
want to help yourself
I’m telling you right now you will never
get better I had to fight to get better
I don’t want him on anything in life
I put aside jobs and relationships in my
dreams the perfect girlfriend the
perfect dream job wasn’t going to fix me
I had to fix me I had to trust myself if
I put my health first the rest would
come on its own not the other way around
there was a workout we had in college
track called the 200 challenge it’s not
over a certain timer set it’s over we
neither can’t make the pace or you give
up well I ran that workout I was last at
fleet left
I ran 19 laps inside literally
hyperventilating class before my coach
asked me how the hell are in for so long
I said I’ve been here before
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
you
I’m standing on stage today of my
hometown my hometown has the fourth
highest percentage of its population
diagnosed with depression in the country
more people are affected by depression
than any other disease in the world I
myself am no exception to this I’ve been
dealing with depression and mental
illness since I was a child
half of those diagnosed with depression
also suffer from anxiety and paying a
type disorder and that is where I
started for me the story my Mentalist is
not a linear one has been unevenly
spread out through my life with
different different situations depending
on what my life situation was at that
moment when I was just a child
it was the painful grueling paying
attacks I would describe the physical
symptoms of a pain tag as being a heart
attack the flu and breathing through a
straw simultaneously all while you’re
convinced a grizzly bear is king ready
to eat you when in reality you’re just
nervous about going to a party in high
school it was the constant overthinking
and anxious worrying I struggled going
out to eat being with friends and long
car rides and college I was on the track
team and we drive two or three hours for
meets and I’d have to have a bag of
things clenched in my hand advil
pepto-bismol water bottle just in case I
had an anxiety tag anxiety attacks can
become so severe that a person doesn’t
know what’s going on it might be
convinced that they’re having a heart
attack or a stroke and wound up in the
hospital only for the doctor to find
nothing wrong with them in college I was
on the track team I loved College I
loved where I was at in college I was
getting great grades teammates I could
call family a girlfriend
and by junior year I had one conference
championships in heptathlon their high
expectations to go nationals my senior
year in break school record the senior
year everything changed I was blindsided
by depression at first sank in my skin
and doing things like hang out with
friends Sally seemed pointless
maybe I realized I just don’t relate to
them anymore but then depression reached
my bones I couldn’t get a bed I couldn’t
reach for glass water
I couldn’t feed myself how I could even
change my clothes till finally infection
age from heart and every moral and
passion I ever had suddenly came faking
this this is when the unthinkable
happens when I struggle to get the track
practice when I skipped classes when
like so many others I drank my pain away
when I finally had no choice but to quit
the track team when just two semesters
from graduating I thought wasn’t have to
drop out of college I was scared to lose
my life I remember sitting in class
Wayne taking exam the sign if I should
around the door checked myself in the
hospital piece my brain was stolen from
me I was sure of it with the incredible
support my family and friends I survived
I survived and I didn’t end up like the
other 800,000 people who take their own
lives from depression every single year
800,000 people take their own lives from
depression every single year that’s
population my hometown any times over I
was lucky enough to still graduate on
time but I missed out on my senior year
of track in my dream of going to
Nationals and breaking school record
something I can never get back so people
ask me do I regret my depression that
regret everything that happened
absolutely not those dark lonely times I
will mold me the person I am today I
don’t think I’d have half courage I do
now without mental illness mental
illness has taught me to appreciate the
simple things in life
I smell have a hot cup of coffee
laughing sterically with friends put my
phone down having dinner with my family
reading a book that makes you feel
something if I didn’t have these issues
maybe
if I didn’t have these issues maybe I
would have missed these things if I had
been comfortable maybe I wouldn’t be as
passionate and driven in life as I am
right now
if anxiety and depression didn’t allow
me to feel everything and nothing
all at once maybe I wouldn’t have as
much empathy for others as I do now as a
culture we have blurred the lines
between what is someone’s character and
what is the disease and as a result
we’ve created stigmas that are
preventing people from getting help they
need from a lethal yet highly curable
illness the World Health Organization
named depression the number 1:it disease
worldwide one number-one disability
worldwide yet we have to lie to our
bosses lie to our teachers lied our
significant others because we’re afraid
that they’ll think we can never
contribute a society ever again I lied
to so many people I may have so many
excuses because I was embarrassed and
ashamed most often when I gained the
courage to tell people what’s going on
they would say life isn’t that bad man
you’re stressful time in your life or
just be happy those are probably three
most frustrating things I’d ever heard
because deep down I know my life is
wonderful I know how great it is but I
still feel this way you don’t tell a
person with cancer you’ll walk it off
you’re having a bad day so why are we
doing with depression well the disease
since modern time can you think of that
ignorance is caused to become such a
phantom that can fly under the radar
caused so much damage without properly
being diagnosed and seen for what it is
to be the root of so much addiction and
destruction if I could give one piece of
advice someone who’s trying to help
someone through depression has never
gone through on their own it would be
this
don’t try to understand it that’s not
the point don’t avoid the conversation
gives you something profound to say the
greatest thing you can do is just show
up the people who helped me helped me
through the hardest time were there to
remind me that I wasn’t alone in this
that my brain was lying to me
neide people who loved me they were
there to ride out the storm
we will save lives from depression when
the conversation of it is casual enough
to have her on the dinner table
personally my largest state might
overcome was medication I put it off for
so long I believe what everyone said
that was a shot in the dark that I had
so many side effects so the doctor just
wants your money that it wasn’t natural
finally I just didn’t cared
I had a weigh the pros and cons could
the medications possibly be more
damaging to my body than what I was
doing to myself without it
I couldn’t imagine so or his medication
going to be like putting on a set of
glasses and seeing the clearest I’d ever
seen in my life only then realizing how
bad my vision was prior if a diabetic
told you they weren’t taking the insulin
you’d be baffled goes the same for a
very depressive it’s no different I can
honestly say that says taking medication
I feel like I have my life back this is
the part of me that was stolen was
returned I can start to work on
relationships again and work on my
dreams again before I was just convinced
that I was a pessimistic person with
constant racing jumping thoughts and
that’s just the way it was and it’s just
simply not true but please do not
misinterpret this as being a magic
bullet it is not the way we treat mental
illness still is a very long way to go
but this is a step in the right
direction I like to say the best balance
for helping people with depression is
therapy medication meditation fitness
and diet I like to say that medications
like water wings that helps
keep your head afloat so you can stay
consistent with your wellness plan and
follow through I have one last piece of
advice for anyone who’s going through
Mentos you can have the best therapy in
the world the best medication and the
best support system but if you don’t
want to help yourself
I’m telling you right now you will never
get better I had to fight to get better
I don’t want him on anything in life
I put aside jobs and relationships in my
dreams the perfect girlfriend the
perfect dream job wasn’t going to fix me
I had to fix me I had to trust myself if
I put my health first the rest would
come on its own not the other way around
there was a workout we had in college
track called the 200 challenge it’s not
over a certain timer set it’s over we
neither can’t make the pace or you give
up well I ran that workout I was last at
fleet left
I ran 19 laps inside literally
hyperventilating class before my coach
asked me how the hell are in for so long
I said I’ve been here before
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
you
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