I grew up in a little farming town
Sycamore Illinois pumpkin capital of the
world I was in the middle of two girls
and had a younger brother so the oldest
was the Queen the youngest was the
princess my brother was the prince and
then there was me many of my growing up
years was spent trying to find my own
identity but even more than that I
wanted to be seen in third grade my mom
bought me a new Easter dress it was
yellow with ruffles a matching purse and
a hat and shoes it was so pretty and I
quickly put it on and I ran downstairs
to show my dad daddy look yeah c-plus
and he laughed and my mom laughed Oh
Ronald and I left and then I went to my
bedroom when I cried because that was
just a little girl who longed to be the
apple of her daddy’s eye I felt missed I
felt invisible I was searching for
something I wanted my dad to see me he
though was in his own little world of
home TV work in sketching waters with a
twist my invisibility continued even
when I got crowned homecoming queen my
senior year in high school
the next morning my picture was on the
front page of the local paper but the
only thing that my dad could see
what’s the homecoming king kissing me on
my cheek what the hell is that boy
kissing you for he didn’t say gosh honey
I’m so proud of you he didn’t say you
are so beautiful
he didn’t say you sure look happy
Jeannie and I know I’m not alone in
these longings I believe the human
spirit thrives for human connection that
is real and I think there’s something
inside of us that dies without it gentle
words of affirmation feed our soul and
when we don’t connect we don’t connect
with my desire to be seen I became a
person who sees other people in 1995
my youngest went to first grade and I
went to graduate school and I became a
therapist and as a therapist i sat with
hundreds and hundreds of people on my
couch and time and time again they would
tell me of their desire to be seen that
they were desperate desperate for human
connection that they wanted to be known
and to be cared about to be told that
they mattered to be listened to to be
understood and I understood these
connections and these longings to be
one of our greatest human needs because
we all know we need water and food and
shelter to survive babies need human
touch but I’m here to tell you that
what’s even more important
is this connecting with one another it’s
like when grandma dies six months after
grandpa it’s not about her health it’s
about their loss of connection I’m gonna
tell you a story that changed my life it
was 2009 and my youngest daughter just
finished packing her suitcase to go to
South Africa for six weeks for college
missions trip and after she went to bed
I quickly grabbed her little teddy bear
I wrote her some love notes I grabbed
this little pewter heart I snuck into
her her room i unzipped her suitcase and
I hid those treasures inside this was my
baby going halfway around the world
alone and by herself
I hid these momentous of home in her
suitcase hoping that it would help her
to feel connected to us and to know she
was loved well three weeks later in the
middle of the night the phone rings and
it’s Melissa and she’s crying
hysterically that small little pewter
heart that I had hid in her suitcase she
had lost it and it was gone and after
our phone call I realized that through
that little heart she did feel connected
she knew that we were holding her she
knew we were praying for and she knew
she was loved well about an hour later
she called back fortunately she called
back and her friend Ivor had gone back
to the restaurant because he knew how
much that heart meant to her he crawled
around on the floor and he found it and
three weeks after that my oldest
daughter Kelsey and I were going to
South Africa to see Melissa at the last
minute I threw a bag of hearts into my
suitcase and halfway across the Pacific
Ocean
I had a nice
yeah a couple days later the three of us
were in this small cramped smelly
airplane headed for a safari and there
was this pretty flight attendant who was
serving warm diet cokes a little bag of
potato chips and she was exuding joy
like I’ve never seen I found one of
those little pewter hearts I gave it to
her and her eyes immediately filled with
tears and then there was this couple who
missed their flight home and couldn’t
see their kids and Melissa gave the mom
a heart and she burst into tears and the
dad had tears as well and then Kelsey
gave a heart to a server at a restaurant
and the next day we went back and this
server came running up to us saying oh
my gosh
I’m gonna carry this heart always and
I’m gonna never forget you so while
these little hearts the rest of our trip
we continued to spread them when we gave
them to people who look like they were
struggling we gave them to people that
we caught doing something kind we gave
them to people who look like they needed
some love and this this is what the
heart looked like it’s not perfectly
shaped it’s not shiny it has a few dents
in it just like all of ours but it
became a symbol a totem a small yet
powerful moments of human connection a
moment to be seen a moment to feel loved
I didn’t always get it for my dad but
together with my daughters we were going
to make sure that people did so we were
on the flight home and my little bag was
empty and we said we’ve got to continue
to share hearts
when we get home our hearts were so full
of love from seeing people from
connecting with people from hearing
strangers stories we knew we had to
continue to share them and it’s now
become our family mission fast forward
to today and there’s over 30,000 of
these little hearts that have been
spread around the world by me by Melissa
by Kelsey and hundreds of others that we
call heart spreaders and we’ve realized
together that when we see other people
that we get seen well in the hustle of
the everyday I want to tell you that you
have the power to change a person’s life
whether it’s someone you know or whether
it’s a stranger I’ve had the opportunity
to witness so many people receiving
these hearts and people just melt
I place it in the palm of their hand I
look them in the eye and I say this is
for you it’s a reminder that you’re
loved or this is for you you’re awesome
or this is for you and you know what
things are gonna be okay okay I want to
challenge you all here tonight every one
of you sitting here that’s starting now
and going forward that you would really
see one another and find your own
version of a heart maybe it’s a hug
maybe it’s a guys with a cigar I don’t
know maybe it’s a little part written on
a note but every day let’s spread some
love every day let’s intentionally
and you matter and you are so loved in
this little heart right here this one’s
for you dad I know you loved me and I
love you too thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]
Sycamore Illinois pumpkin capital of the
world I was in the middle of two girls
and had a younger brother so the oldest
was the Queen the youngest was the
princess my brother was the prince and
then there was me many of my growing up
years was spent trying to find my own
identity but even more than that I
wanted to be seen in third grade my mom
bought me a new Easter dress it was
yellow with ruffles a matching purse and
a hat and shoes it was so pretty and I
quickly put it on and I ran downstairs
to show my dad daddy look yeah c-plus
and he laughed and my mom laughed Oh
Ronald and I left and then I went to my
bedroom when I cried because that was
just a little girl who longed to be the
apple of her daddy’s eye I felt missed I
felt invisible I was searching for
something I wanted my dad to see me he
though was in his own little world of
home TV work in sketching waters with a
twist my invisibility continued even
when I got crowned homecoming queen my
senior year in high school
the next morning my picture was on the
front page of the local paper but the
only thing that my dad could see
what’s the homecoming king kissing me on
my cheek what the hell is that boy
kissing you for he didn’t say gosh honey
I’m so proud of you he didn’t say you
are so beautiful
he didn’t say you sure look happy
Jeannie and I know I’m not alone in
these longings I believe the human
spirit thrives for human connection that
is real and I think there’s something
inside of us that dies without it gentle
words of affirmation feed our soul and
when we don’t connect we don’t connect
with my desire to be seen I became a
person who sees other people in 1995
my youngest went to first grade and I
went to graduate school and I became a
therapist and as a therapist i sat with
hundreds and hundreds of people on my
couch and time and time again they would
tell me of their desire to be seen that
they were desperate desperate for human
connection that they wanted to be known
and to be cared about to be told that
they mattered to be listened to to be
understood and I understood these
connections and these longings to be
one of our greatest human needs because
we all know we need water and food and
shelter to survive babies need human
touch but I’m here to tell you that
what’s even more important
is this connecting with one another it’s
like when grandma dies six months after
grandpa it’s not about her health it’s
about their loss of connection I’m gonna
tell you a story that changed my life it
was 2009 and my youngest daughter just
finished packing her suitcase to go to
South Africa for six weeks for college
missions trip and after she went to bed
I quickly grabbed her little teddy bear
I wrote her some love notes I grabbed
this little pewter heart I snuck into
her her room i unzipped her suitcase and
I hid those treasures inside this was my
baby going halfway around the world
alone and by herself
I hid these momentous of home in her
suitcase hoping that it would help her
to feel connected to us and to know she
was loved well three weeks later in the
middle of the night the phone rings and
it’s Melissa and she’s crying
hysterically that small little pewter
heart that I had hid in her suitcase she
had lost it and it was gone and after
our phone call I realized that through
that little heart she did feel connected
she knew that we were holding her she
knew we were praying for and she knew
she was loved well about an hour later
she called back fortunately she called
back and her friend Ivor had gone back
to the restaurant because he knew how
much that heart meant to her he crawled
around on the floor and he found it and
three weeks after that my oldest
daughter Kelsey and I were going to
South Africa to see Melissa at the last
minute I threw a bag of hearts into my
suitcase and halfway across the Pacific
Ocean
I had a nice
yeah a couple days later the three of us
were in this small cramped smelly
airplane headed for a safari and there
was this pretty flight attendant who was
serving warm diet cokes a little bag of
potato chips and she was exuding joy
like I’ve never seen I found one of
those little pewter hearts I gave it to
her and her eyes immediately filled with
tears and then there was this couple who
missed their flight home and couldn’t
see their kids and Melissa gave the mom
a heart and she burst into tears and the
dad had tears as well and then Kelsey
gave a heart to a server at a restaurant
and the next day we went back and this
server came running up to us saying oh
my gosh
I’m gonna carry this heart always and
I’m gonna never forget you so while
these little hearts the rest of our trip
we continued to spread them when we gave
them to people who look like they were
struggling we gave them to people that
we caught doing something kind we gave
them to people who look like they needed
some love and this this is what the
heart looked like it’s not perfectly
shaped it’s not shiny it has a few dents
in it just like all of ours but it
became a symbol a totem a small yet
powerful moments of human connection a
moment to be seen a moment to feel loved
I didn’t always get it for my dad but
together with my daughters we were going
to make sure that people did so we were
on the flight home and my little bag was
empty and we said we’ve got to continue
to share hearts
when we get home our hearts were so full
of love from seeing people from
connecting with people from hearing
strangers stories we knew we had to
continue to share them and it’s now
become our family mission fast forward
to today and there’s over 30,000 of
these little hearts that have been
spread around the world by me by Melissa
by Kelsey and hundreds of others that we
call heart spreaders and we’ve realized
together that when we see other people
that we get seen well in the hustle of
the everyday I want to tell you that you
have the power to change a person’s life
whether it’s someone you know or whether
it’s a stranger I’ve had the opportunity
to witness so many people receiving
these hearts and people just melt
I place it in the palm of their hand I
look them in the eye and I say this is
for you it’s a reminder that you’re
loved or this is for you you’re awesome
or this is for you and you know what
things are gonna be okay okay I want to
challenge you all here tonight every one
of you sitting here that’s starting now
and going forward that you would really
see one another and find your own
version of a heart maybe it’s a hug
maybe it’s a guys with a cigar I don’t
know maybe it’s a little part written on
a note but every day let’s spread some
love every day let’s intentionally
and you matter and you are so loved in
this little heart right here this one’s
for you dad I know you loved me and I
love you too thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]
Please follow and like us: