so let’s talk about the everyday
first of all kids we have three and last
year at this time we had a one month old
baby as you can imagine or you know
yourself you’re on little to no sleep
we had also been out of practice it had
been six years since our last baby it’s
kind of like walking through sand you
know this heavy sand you’re so exhausted
I had also been struggling with nursing
and had gotten mastitis on top of it so
which if you don’t know is like having a
seriously bad case of the flu I also as
he said I’m a small business owner have
clients who have expectations because
it’s the real world so at this time last
year it was just going through the
motions of life my husband working me
trying to work getting the kids ready
doing things just as every parent can
ever imagine paying bills just going
through trying to survive and kind of
not doing a great job at it at that time
about three I want to say we had gone
the baby had had a couple of rough
nights of sleep and she we were in
probably about three hours of sleep
total between my husband and I we were
literally zombies I remember physically
feeling so exhausted that I could barely
even hold my baby and my husband got up
for work just like any other normal day
I don’t remember if he said goodbye or I
said I love you but I do remember
thinking about this often after what had
he left and I just went about my day as
usual later that day I had the baby
wrapped around me and I was trying to
get ready for dinner and I noticed he
came home from work early earlier than
usual and he said something happened at
work and I didn’t really pay attention
because life right and I just kind of
kept moving and he said something
serious happened at work and I said okay
and I could tell his tone was different
if felt intense so I stopped and I
looked at him and I could tell in his
eyes that something serious happened at
work and I said what happened
he said I went to take a drink of water
and and I was on Skyline Drive and a 20
ton truck ran away if I hadn’t taken
that drink of water and stepped aside I
wouldn’t be here right now I would be
dead my heart stopped I said what he
said literally I would be dead right now
if I hadn’t stepped aside to drink that
water
it saved my life I was like thinking of
all these things like we just had this
baby we have three kids we have a house
all the logical things that anybody
would think about and I said oh my god
I’m so glad you are okay I’m so sorry
that happened and he said I’m okay it
was really scary so later that night he
wanted to go to his cousin’s house they
wanted to watch a boxing match and I was
like yes go please because of the stress
that had happened that day I wanted him
to have a break and so I just went on
with our evening with our three kids
just like any other evening getting them
ready for bed and nursing the baby as
usual everyone was kind of winding down
for the evening
and it was about 10:00 p.m. or so and I
got a phone call you know that really
scary phone call kind of in the middle
of the night that you wish never happens
that’s the call I got I answered the
phone and it’s actually my husband’s
number so I say hey babe and I hear is
this Kim is this Brandon’s wife and I
was like yeah what’s going on stop
messing with me because it was my
husband’s number right any studies this
Kim his tone tense and deep is this
Brandon’s wife I said yeah is he okay
is he alive my heart dropped I already
felt sheer panic and he said your
husband Brandon had a grand mal seizure
I said what he said he fell and he had a
grand mal seizure I said is he okay and
he said I don’t know hold on I think
he’s coming to what I didn’t tell you is
that my older brother had also died of a
grand mal seizure
so that trauma compounded with what not
knowing what was happening with my
husband put me in sheer panic I said
tell me what is happening I’m here with
our three babies I don’t know what to do
he said he wants to come to you I said
okay I called my friends they jumped
into action literally showed up within
our house within minutes to care for the
kids
I took my husband to the ER I held his
hand he looks so different to me kind of
separate I held his hand and I was
playing all of those scenarios
especially as women that we do right
like this is it
the other shoe has finally dropped he
has a blood clot he has a brain aneurysm
he has a brain tumor because our minds
go to the worst-case scenario right
and that’s exactly where my mind went I
held his hand and I told him everything
was going to be okay but in my mind I
was actually planning his funeral I had
been down this road before and I was
terrified I was asked to go in the
waiting room well he had to go through a
battery of testings because if you see
him he’s this amazingly strong healthy
man and even the doctor was like this is
really odd but as I waited in the
waiting room all I could think about was
our life that we had just been living in
a cycle of press and repeat press and
repeat every single day getting up
caring for the kids paying the bills
going to work getting up paying for the
bill you know over and over and over and
I thought is this the life that we want
is this the life if he’s okay are we
gonna just continue or are we gonna
change because I really in that moment
felt like something had to change so in
that from that night for the coming
weeks he had had gone through lots and
lots of testing they couldn’t the
doctors couldn’t figure out what
happened they put him on heavy
anti-seizure medicine in life as we knew
it literally stopped there was no more
chaos because he was no longer allowed
to work he was no longer allowed to be
alone ever he had to shower with the
door open he was no longer allowed to
drive life literally just stopped I was
probably the most stressed out I have
ever been and I was like here I said we
have this pause it’s a forced pause so
we sat at the table in the first time in
many many years and I held his hand
and I looked at him and I said what
makes you happy I didn’t know how to
answer and neither did he
so we just talked I said I know this
sounds silly but believe it or not the
best part of my day is when we’re
cooking together whether it be breakfast
or dinner you and I in our small kitchen
just making something for our children
it brings me a lot of joy I love cooking
it feels like it’s my heart and he said
you know what’s funny that’s my favorite
and I was like could we make something
out of that and he said what and I said
what if we started a food business a
catering business he said I was crazy it
didn’t just come out of anywhere him and
I have been working and cooking together
for over 13 years and I’ve been wanting
to be a chef for as early as I can
remember but as any of you know that the
food business is a hard business so
anytime I talked about it everybody
always talked me out of it it’s too high
it’s too high risk food businesses risky
business is what everyone would say and
I said but for us we could create it the
way that we wanted we could create it
out of our love for each other and our
love for our food and our love for our
children we could use the ingredients
and resources from our own people from
our own communities and teach people
about food as well and we talked about
what that dream looked like and we
started to think that this could be a
reality so we started down the path
of creating something beautiful and one
of the first steps that we did was we
met with our friends and our family my
dad he’s here was our one of our biggest
advocates and it was nice because we had
the capacity to think about not just in
today but in this moment of why not he
couldn’t work my husband couldn’t work
anyways and he was considered a
liability so I’m like let’s do it let’s
take this calculated leap of faith and
create something out of this horrible
situation so we got our we got our
friends to talk to us about food and
what a food business would look like we
started dreaming and creating and we
started writing a plan and in that plan
we created the the steps that we wanted
to take in order to be successful and we
launched etiquette catering in February
1st of this last year and we’ve been
very successful since and it feels
amazing to take the leap of faith to say
I want to share my heart with the world
I want to share my food and create
something out of something that was so
hard and reality is we’ll probably never
know what happened that night it could
have been the trauma of him almost dying
it could have been us on so little sleep
just pure exhaustion the combination of
both but what I knew for sure was that
that was a blessing in disguise
that that was a moment in time where he
and I could see each other for the first
time in a long time that we could look
at each other and we could see each
other for who we are naked and
vulnerable because sometimes it’s
incredibly scary even with the person
that you are
most intimate with and that you love the
most to share your dream so in that
pause most people panic I know I did but
what I’m asking of you is if that pause
happens and trust me you can take one
much less dramatic than ours but when
that pause happens for you whether you
create it or something natural happens
that you relish in it that it gives you
a moment to reflect I’m a moment to
reflect on your life as a whole and to
think about what actually brings you joy
and if you don’t know the answer
talk to your friends help that let them
help you figure out what those answers
are I’ve been in small business
development for the last 13 years and
over that 13 years I can tell you from
the jump who I know will be successful
and who won’t in every single time it
has nothing to do with money every
single time it has to do with someone’s
passion for what they’re doing their
connection to say this is what I want
and failure is not an option that’s
something I definitely know and when we
went through this process I’ve thought
about it all the time because creating a
food business is hard work and anyone
who tells you different would be lying
it is challenging but I love it all I
love meeting with our farmers I love
meeting with our meat producers I love
creating our beautiful plating I find so
much love and joy in the
tails it has created a lightness in my
heart and in my love for my family and
every single day I wake up I look at my
husband and I look at our beautiful
three children and I’m just completely
filled with gratitude so if ever you’re
faced with mortality all I ask is that
when you look back at your life you live
a life that you’re proud of I can say
that for me won’t be low
[Applause] [Music]
first of all kids we have three and last
year at this time we had a one month old
baby as you can imagine or you know
yourself you’re on little to no sleep
we had also been out of practice it had
been six years since our last baby it’s
kind of like walking through sand you
know this heavy sand you’re so exhausted
I had also been struggling with nursing
and had gotten mastitis on top of it so
which if you don’t know is like having a
seriously bad case of the flu I also as
he said I’m a small business owner have
clients who have expectations because
it’s the real world so at this time last
year it was just going through the
motions of life my husband working me
trying to work getting the kids ready
doing things just as every parent can
ever imagine paying bills just going
through trying to survive and kind of
not doing a great job at it at that time
about three I want to say we had gone
the baby had had a couple of rough
nights of sleep and she we were in
probably about three hours of sleep
total between my husband and I we were
literally zombies I remember physically
feeling so exhausted that I could barely
even hold my baby and my husband got up
for work just like any other normal day
I don’t remember if he said goodbye or I
said I love you but I do remember
thinking about this often after what had
he left and I just went about my day as
usual later that day I had the baby
wrapped around me and I was trying to
get ready for dinner and I noticed he
came home from work early earlier than
usual and he said something happened at
work and I didn’t really pay attention
because life right and I just kind of
kept moving and he said something
serious happened at work and I said okay
and I could tell his tone was different
if felt intense so I stopped and I
looked at him and I could tell in his
eyes that something serious happened at
work and I said what happened
he said I went to take a drink of water
and and I was on Skyline Drive and a 20
ton truck ran away if I hadn’t taken
that drink of water and stepped aside I
wouldn’t be here right now I would be
dead my heart stopped I said what he
said literally I would be dead right now
if I hadn’t stepped aside to drink that
water
it saved my life I was like thinking of
all these things like we just had this
baby we have three kids we have a house
all the logical things that anybody
would think about and I said oh my god
I’m so glad you are okay I’m so sorry
that happened and he said I’m okay it
was really scary so later that night he
wanted to go to his cousin’s house they
wanted to watch a boxing match and I was
like yes go please because of the stress
that had happened that day I wanted him
to have a break and so I just went on
with our evening with our three kids
just like any other evening getting them
ready for bed and nursing the baby as
usual everyone was kind of winding down
for the evening
and it was about 10:00 p.m. or so and I
got a phone call you know that really
scary phone call kind of in the middle
of the night that you wish never happens
that’s the call I got I answered the
phone and it’s actually my husband’s
number so I say hey babe and I hear is
this Kim is this Brandon’s wife and I
was like yeah what’s going on stop
messing with me because it was my
husband’s number right any studies this
Kim his tone tense and deep is this
Brandon’s wife I said yeah is he okay
is he alive my heart dropped I already
felt sheer panic and he said your
husband Brandon had a grand mal seizure
I said what he said he fell and he had a
grand mal seizure I said is he okay and
he said I don’t know hold on I think
he’s coming to what I didn’t tell you is
that my older brother had also died of a
grand mal seizure
so that trauma compounded with what not
knowing what was happening with my
husband put me in sheer panic I said
tell me what is happening I’m here with
our three babies I don’t know what to do
he said he wants to come to you I said
okay I called my friends they jumped
into action literally showed up within
our house within minutes to care for the
kids
I took my husband to the ER I held his
hand he looks so different to me kind of
separate I held his hand and I was
playing all of those scenarios
especially as women that we do right
like this is it
the other shoe has finally dropped he
has a blood clot he has a brain aneurysm
he has a brain tumor because our minds
go to the worst-case scenario right
and that’s exactly where my mind went I
held his hand and I told him everything
was going to be okay but in my mind I
was actually planning his funeral I had
been down this road before and I was
terrified I was asked to go in the
waiting room well he had to go through a
battery of testings because if you see
him he’s this amazingly strong healthy
man and even the doctor was like this is
really odd but as I waited in the
waiting room all I could think about was
our life that we had just been living in
a cycle of press and repeat press and
repeat every single day getting up
caring for the kids paying the bills
going to work getting up paying for the
bill you know over and over and over and
I thought is this the life that we want
is this the life if he’s okay are we
gonna just continue or are we gonna
change because I really in that moment
felt like something had to change so in
that from that night for the coming
weeks he had had gone through lots and
lots of testing they couldn’t the
doctors couldn’t figure out what
happened they put him on heavy
anti-seizure medicine in life as we knew
it literally stopped there was no more
chaos because he was no longer allowed
to work he was no longer allowed to be
alone ever he had to shower with the
door open he was no longer allowed to
drive life literally just stopped I was
probably the most stressed out I have
ever been and I was like here I said we
have this pause it’s a forced pause so
we sat at the table in the first time in
many many years and I held his hand
and I looked at him and I said what
makes you happy I didn’t know how to
answer and neither did he
so we just talked I said I know this
sounds silly but believe it or not the
best part of my day is when we’re
cooking together whether it be breakfast
or dinner you and I in our small kitchen
just making something for our children
it brings me a lot of joy I love cooking
it feels like it’s my heart and he said
you know what’s funny that’s my favorite
and I was like could we make something
out of that and he said what and I said
what if we started a food business a
catering business he said I was crazy it
didn’t just come out of anywhere him and
I have been working and cooking together
for over 13 years and I’ve been wanting
to be a chef for as early as I can
remember but as any of you know that the
food business is a hard business so
anytime I talked about it everybody
always talked me out of it it’s too high
it’s too high risk food businesses risky
business is what everyone would say and
I said but for us we could create it the
way that we wanted we could create it
out of our love for each other and our
love for our food and our love for our
children we could use the ingredients
and resources from our own people from
our own communities and teach people
about food as well and we talked about
what that dream looked like and we
started to think that this could be a
reality so we started down the path
of creating something beautiful and one
of the first steps that we did was we
met with our friends and our family my
dad he’s here was our one of our biggest
advocates and it was nice because we had
the capacity to think about not just in
today but in this moment of why not he
couldn’t work my husband couldn’t work
anyways and he was considered a
liability so I’m like let’s do it let’s
take this calculated leap of faith and
create something out of this horrible
situation so we got our we got our
friends to talk to us about food and
what a food business would look like we
started dreaming and creating and we
started writing a plan and in that plan
we created the the steps that we wanted
to take in order to be successful and we
launched etiquette catering in February
1st of this last year and we’ve been
very successful since and it feels
amazing to take the leap of faith to say
I want to share my heart with the world
I want to share my food and create
something out of something that was so
hard and reality is we’ll probably never
know what happened that night it could
have been the trauma of him almost dying
it could have been us on so little sleep
just pure exhaustion the combination of
both but what I knew for sure was that
that was a blessing in disguise
that that was a moment in time where he
and I could see each other for the first
time in a long time that we could look
at each other and we could see each
other for who we are naked and
vulnerable because sometimes it’s
incredibly scary even with the person
that you are
most intimate with and that you love the
most to share your dream so in that
pause most people panic I know I did but
what I’m asking of you is if that pause
happens and trust me you can take one
much less dramatic than ours but when
that pause happens for you whether you
create it or something natural happens
that you relish in it that it gives you
a moment to reflect I’m a moment to
reflect on your life as a whole and to
think about what actually brings you joy
and if you don’t know the answer
talk to your friends help that let them
help you figure out what those answers
are I’ve been in small business
development for the last 13 years and
over that 13 years I can tell you from
the jump who I know will be successful
and who won’t in every single time it
has nothing to do with money every
single time it has to do with someone’s
passion for what they’re doing their
connection to say this is what I want
and failure is not an option that’s
something I definitely know and when we
went through this process I’ve thought
about it all the time because creating a
food business is hard work and anyone
who tells you different would be lying
it is challenging but I love it all I
love meeting with our farmers I love
meeting with our meat producers I love
creating our beautiful plating I find so
much love and joy in the
tails it has created a lightness in my
heart and in my love for my family and
every single day I wake up I look at my
husband and I look at our beautiful
three children and I’m just completely
filled with gratitude so if ever you’re
faced with mortality all I ask is that
when you look back at your life you live
a life that you’re proud of I can say
that for me won’t be low
[Applause] [Music]
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