I am a half-bred being a shattered spine
mixture between my father Lucifer
himself and my mother his very own
fallen angel my blood is a concoction of
his Morningstar redemption and her
hurtling regret my skin stretched like
his holiest hubris my eyes the
enchanting spark she won’t saw in him my
father wanted to play God and my mother
was just along for the ride though it
was a little more like frightening the
same she wanted to see the beauty of
Earth a little more clearly from where
she was sitting even though the heavens
had the best seat in the house earth was
nothing like she imagined more
tumbleweeds than garden southern sun
rays slit my mother’s skin and this was
hell enough for her but she like my
father was now more demon than angel
so she settled and decided to rename her
home
the depiction of lucifer is all a
figment of the imagination
my father was once an angel who just
wanted to be a savior were dressed in
his Sunday best suits tie Gator shoes
and all just to play ding-dong-ditch at
God’s door my father never had a chance
for downfall my mother was always there
to be his back spring he gave her fans
and wings just to paint a false picture
of freedom stuff the jewels down her
throat the best the silence and
Submission could buy in return my mother
tried to give my father a child that he
could be proud of
already the father of four failed demons
he wanted an angel to raise as his own
my brother was perfect for my father and
it was all that he wanted
when my brother was born dead
it became the coldest winter ever hell’s
flames froze along with my father’s
dreams I guess it’s true when they say
Satan’s spawn will never get the chance
to live when my mother birthed me pure
and healthy my father decided to give me
to God I was the repentance for his sins
I was too much of an angel to be raised
by demons my parents gave up their
mortal games wrote their apology letter
on my tongue force-fed scripture down my
throat stuck a halo in my mouth as
teething ring my father placed my mother
and I upon God’s doorstep and rung the
doorbell one last time left us as a
gifts in exchange for forgiveness but I
was always daddy’s little girl I could
never be too much like an angel
I used scriptures as a toothpick after
every meal of sins sometimes when I
looked towards my mother
I see the shadow my father has left
behind how she is so lost without
someone to follow and in these moments I
let job and Genesis slip between my
teeth like a second language I preached
the Lord’s gospel
just to see her smile regurgitate words
as the last supper and leave a 15% tip
of praise at God’s feet as a silent
thank you hi my name is Victoria Lee
Smith I am 16 years old and I currently
attend Lakeside High School I am a
junior who took upon the often insane
workload of not just four or five but
seven core based classes I hopefully one
day would like to attend Stanford
University upon a full-ride scholarship
and double major in biochemistry and
psychology to eventually become a
psychologist and medical scientists who
reach out whose research focuses on the
neurological treatment of eating
disorders I one day hope to be
financially stable and help people and
have a family
yeah that’s me I’m Victoria most of my
peers and the adults in this community
know me just as that the one smart black
girl in the back of class who’s kind of
quiet and kind of loud at the exact same
time so you don’t really know if you
like me come to think of it you don’t
really know me at all except for the
fact that I write a lot and that’s kind
of my fault so let me reintroduce myself
the real way hi I’m Victoria
but most people well my family and for
the remaining time that I graced the
stage I’d like to consider you all in
the audience my family as well
they called me vu ku vo o ke o lo I’m a
16 year old junior who attends assists
white dominant public high school when
I’m in this space I often feel lost and
alone and insecure and not always safe
I’m battling and recovering from more
than one mental illness and I’m a little
broken around the edges having come to
terms with severe physical and mental
trauma at the age of 13 and a little
more than six months later the passing
of my father I am one third poet
one third fairy and one third siren I
truly aspired to become an English
professor at an Ivy League who
emphasizes the powerful roots of healing
and social change within writing and
despite the fact that I’m giving a
highly professional TED talk upon a
highly professional platform and that I
should be an expert in my field I’m
still revealing my scars and healing oh
yeah
and like I said I’m a poet the poem that
I performed at the beginning of this
speech is actually called the book of
redemption it’s the family story of my
father my mother and I spun in the
extended metaphor and retelling of
Lucifer’s fall from heaven I choose to
take this piece to most of my
performances not because it is my best
piece but because it’s a piece of me and
I get to carry my father with me
wherever I go and just like that my
secrets not really a secret anymore see
I’ve come to see secrets as these ideas
of truth that we decide to share amongst
our most sacred and respected and the
only reason we as a society think that
way is because it reveals vulnerability
something that we fear most about
individualism especially as teams okay
so this wouldn’t be a family meeting
without a family go around first so my
fellow teens in the room think of your
deepest darkest most personal truth
three-two-one okay now look towards the
person to your left and then look
towards the person to your right
eenie meenie miney moe okay look towards
the person to your right and tell them
your truth 3 2 1 now I’m willing to bet
that most of you did not actually tell
the truth and most of you didn’t even do
this exercise at all why not it’s not
because you physically couldn’t or
necessarily shouldn’t or you’re sworn to
some oath of secrecy with some unknown
deity no it’s probably because you felt
uncomfortable or unsafe especially
because this
it’s high school where everybody tells
everybody everything where kids will
never begin to understand adults and
adults will definitely never begin to
understand kids high school is not meant
to be a safe space where you can be
yourself right and yeah a year and a
half ago I would completely 100% agree
with you or not your thoughts no space
is meant to be safe but lo and behold
three months later after writing page
after page and bottled up feelings and
thoughts and sometimes unpopular
opinions I stood upon the Kennedy Center
stage which ones held legends of the
performing arts such as Cicely Tyson and
yo-yo ma Paul McCartney Duke Ellington
Tony Bennett the list goes on and on
yeah me fuku oh five foot one and a half
inches of me stood upon a stage and
spoke my truth into a mic in front of
thousands of who I now consider family
and everyone listened including the
adults now as I deem this space a safe
space for not just me but every other
teen in the room
adults this talk is not for you to judge
nor critically analyze this talk is for
you to listen and when I say listen I
mean actually listen now let’s talk
about some ways in which you don’t
sometimes listen and this is this is
revealed through the adult unconscious
belief of these teenage archetypes which
fall into two main categories the first
is the angsty teen in which adults
perceive that teens are mad at the world
and have all these things they need to
grow but continue to have these
relentless issues with everyone else as
if the world is all their own and these
issues that they fight for are worthless
to the value of their growth and
evolution the second is the manic teen
or what I like to call the Manic Pixie
dream team yeah like the term Manic
Pixie dream girl coined by film critic
Nathan Robin but I don’t necessarily
believe this term is gender biased and
this is where adults see teens is these
molds and models for other teens to base
themselves
like that one popular kid in class that
everybody follows around or that ever
relentless annoying question of if this
person jumped off a bridge would you do
it too and the and the problem with
these archetypes is not that they
themselves aren’t accurate but the way
that people perceive and comprehend them
aren’t accurate yes
teens are mad at the world and yes
sometimes we do blindly follow other
teens around who know even who know just
as little or even less than we do but us
teens hate to admit it but we’re kind of
lost here the terms of finding one’s
self and frankly figuring it out are
things that are seen that can be
something that can be eliminated from
the growing up equation and not
something that we can work through and
this is where the communication between
teens and adults break at the seams and
teens feel like they have no voice and
this is where spoken where it comes in
now I know most people especially teens
feel like poetry is this thing where you
have to be a first year graduate student
with the focus and grammatical errors to
understand right no surprisingly we all
have something in common with Ernest and
Hemingway and Dickinson and Shakespeare
and frost and Baldwin and Hurston and
Hughes we all have names just like them
and we all have the exact same abilities
that they had when taking the
opportunity to write we all have
opinions and thoughts and feelings that
we feel needs to be heard that haven’t
been heard before
poetry is literally about any and
everything it can be a piece that
everyone can empathize with or the most
ambiguous piece ever written and what
matters is that it’s all your own poetry
is a piece of you your piece is your own
piece your own soapbox to stand upon now
I know this sounds like a lot but what
how you start off with it first is
making a safe space like the makeshift
one I’ve made here and a safe space is
where teens can come in and freely
express themselves knowing that what
they say and do here stays here and this
involves creating rules and
boundaries for that space including the
Vegas rule what’s said and done here
stays here
the don’t yell my young if I like it
love something and if you don’t that
doesn’t mean that you have to demean and
invalidate it just because you don’t the
ouch oops our own version of I’m hurt
and I’m sorry
and honesty these rules and boundaries
are not here to restrict any of the
voices in the room including the adults
these rules are here to create a
foundation for open dialogue between
teens and adults open open honest
dialogue and this dialogue can be about
anything from how their day went to how
they feel the current economic policies
could affect their growth in place in
this country’s future and as this
discussion continues this evolves into
their own self validation through these
things called free rights and they’re
exactly what they sound like kids use
points taken from these discussions and
write them into their own thoughts of
streams in consciousness now there’s no
judgment so everyone speaks positively
about one’s piece and validates them but
there’s no push or shove to share now I
know this seems like a lot to dive
headfirst into but you don’t have to be
your professional healer to know how to
create these spaces but if you’re still
a little nervous about it there are
plenty of spaces especially across this
country where you can go in and
experience firsthand the open
communication between teens and adults
these include spaces such as you speaks
residing in the Bay Area
DCU slam of course from Washington DC
urban word NYC residing in the ever
beautiful New York City and my home and
safe space Vox teen communications in
Atlanta where it works where I can go in
grab a snack receive some love and get
to writing about my thoughts and
feelings now at this point in my talk I
can feel every adult staring I mean the
craziest way possible saying hi I know
sharing feelings and communicating is
great and all but how do I give
I know sharing feelings and
communicating is great and all but what
about the grades and we have these
sayings in the poetry community and they
go like it’s not about the points it’s
about the poem
and listen to the poet and this means
that I know that there’s that one kid
that’s always that always doesn’t want
to do the assignment or doesn’t really
try but if you can see that kids are
honestly trying to communicate with you
and share their feelings there’s no
reason to grade their work on misspelled
words or grammatical errors and that
brings me to my last point empathy is
not required for compassion or
comprehension and teens and adults for
both of you just because you haven’t
gone through a similar situation doesn’t
mean that you can’t come to terms with
having comprehend comprehension and
compassion for somebody teens not all
adults are unwilling to listen or help
you work things out but you have to be
open to the idea of being open and
adults just because you think you can’t
empathize with teens you can just think
you were once a teen too with all the
power and fights and ideas and opinions
and confusion that this little time on
earth could buy you and don’t you wish
that there was someone there to listen
don’t you wish that someone was there to
map out and work through your journey
mistakes and all we don’t necessarily
wish to ask for much we just want to
know if you can hear us and if you can
are you listening and thank you for
being here and listening today
[Applause]
mixture between my father Lucifer
himself and my mother his very own
fallen angel my blood is a concoction of
his Morningstar redemption and her
hurtling regret my skin stretched like
his holiest hubris my eyes the
enchanting spark she won’t saw in him my
father wanted to play God and my mother
was just along for the ride though it
was a little more like frightening the
same she wanted to see the beauty of
Earth a little more clearly from where
she was sitting even though the heavens
had the best seat in the house earth was
nothing like she imagined more
tumbleweeds than garden southern sun
rays slit my mother’s skin and this was
hell enough for her but she like my
father was now more demon than angel
so she settled and decided to rename her
home
the depiction of lucifer is all a
figment of the imagination
my father was once an angel who just
wanted to be a savior were dressed in
his Sunday best suits tie Gator shoes
and all just to play ding-dong-ditch at
God’s door my father never had a chance
for downfall my mother was always there
to be his back spring he gave her fans
and wings just to paint a false picture
of freedom stuff the jewels down her
throat the best the silence and
Submission could buy in return my mother
tried to give my father a child that he
could be proud of
already the father of four failed demons
he wanted an angel to raise as his own
my brother was perfect for my father and
it was all that he wanted
when my brother was born dead
it became the coldest winter ever hell’s
flames froze along with my father’s
dreams I guess it’s true when they say
Satan’s spawn will never get the chance
to live when my mother birthed me pure
and healthy my father decided to give me
to God I was the repentance for his sins
I was too much of an angel to be raised
by demons my parents gave up their
mortal games wrote their apology letter
on my tongue force-fed scripture down my
throat stuck a halo in my mouth as
teething ring my father placed my mother
and I upon God’s doorstep and rung the
doorbell one last time left us as a
gifts in exchange for forgiveness but I
was always daddy’s little girl I could
never be too much like an angel
I used scriptures as a toothpick after
every meal of sins sometimes when I
looked towards my mother
I see the shadow my father has left
behind how she is so lost without
someone to follow and in these moments I
let job and Genesis slip between my
teeth like a second language I preached
the Lord’s gospel
just to see her smile regurgitate words
as the last supper and leave a 15% tip
of praise at God’s feet as a silent
thank you hi my name is Victoria Lee
Smith I am 16 years old and I currently
attend Lakeside High School I am a
junior who took upon the often insane
workload of not just four or five but
seven core based classes I hopefully one
day would like to attend Stanford
University upon a full-ride scholarship
and double major in biochemistry and
psychology to eventually become a
psychologist and medical scientists who
reach out whose research focuses on the
neurological treatment of eating
disorders I one day hope to be
financially stable and help people and
have a family
yeah that’s me I’m Victoria most of my
peers and the adults in this community
know me just as that the one smart black
girl in the back of class who’s kind of
quiet and kind of loud at the exact same
time so you don’t really know if you
like me come to think of it you don’t
really know me at all except for the
fact that I write a lot and that’s kind
of my fault so let me reintroduce myself
the real way hi I’m Victoria
but most people well my family and for
the remaining time that I graced the
stage I’d like to consider you all in
the audience my family as well
they called me vu ku vo o ke o lo I’m a
16 year old junior who attends assists
white dominant public high school when
I’m in this space I often feel lost and
alone and insecure and not always safe
I’m battling and recovering from more
than one mental illness and I’m a little
broken around the edges having come to
terms with severe physical and mental
trauma at the age of 13 and a little
more than six months later the passing
of my father I am one third poet
one third fairy and one third siren I
truly aspired to become an English
professor at an Ivy League who
emphasizes the powerful roots of healing
and social change within writing and
despite the fact that I’m giving a
highly professional TED talk upon a
highly professional platform and that I
should be an expert in my field I’m
still revealing my scars and healing oh
yeah
and like I said I’m a poet the poem that
I performed at the beginning of this
speech is actually called the book of
redemption it’s the family story of my
father my mother and I spun in the
extended metaphor and retelling of
Lucifer’s fall from heaven I choose to
take this piece to most of my
performances not because it is my best
piece but because it’s a piece of me and
I get to carry my father with me
wherever I go and just like that my
secrets not really a secret anymore see
I’ve come to see secrets as these ideas
of truth that we decide to share amongst
our most sacred and respected and the
only reason we as a society think that
way is because it reveals vulnerability
something that we fear most about
individualism especially as teams okay
so this wouldn’t be a family meeting
without a family go around first so my
fellow teens in the room think of your
deepest darkest most personal truth
three-two-one okay now look towards the
person to your left and then look
towards the person to your right
eenie meenie miney moe okay look towards
the person to your right and tell them
your truth 3 2 1 now I’m willing to bet
that most of you did not actually tell
the truth and most of you didn’t even do
this exercise at all why not it’s not
because you physically couldn’t or
necessarily shouldn’t or you’re sworn to
some oath of secrecy with some unknown
deity no it’s probably because you felt
uncomfortable or unsafe especially
because this
it’s high school where everybody tells
everybody everything where kids will
never begin to understand adults and
adults will definitely never begin to
understand kids high school is not meant
to be a safe space where you can be
yourself right and yeah a year and a
half ago I would completely 100% agree
with you or not your thoughts no space
is meant to be safe but lo and behold
three months later after writing page
after page and bottled up feelings and
thoughts and sometimes unpopular
opinions I stood upon the Kennedy Center
stage which ones held legends of the
performing arts such as Cicely Tyson and
yo-yo ma Paul McCartney Duke Ellington
Tony Bennett the list goes on and on
yeah me fuku oh five foot one and a half
inches of me stood upon a stage and
spoke my truth into a mic in front of
thousands of who I now consider family
and everyone listened including the
adults now as I deem this space a safe
space for not just me but every other
teen in the room
adults this talk is not for you to judge
nor critically analyze this talk is for
you to listen and when I say listen I
mean actually listen now let’s talk
about some ways in which you don’t
sometimes listen and this is this is
revealed through the adult unconscious
belief of these teenage archetypes which
fall into two main categories the first
is the angsty teen in which adults
perceive that teens are mad at the world
and have all these things they need to
grow but continue to have these
relentless issues with everyone else as
if the world is all their own and these
issues that they fight for are worthless
to the value of their growth and
evolution the second is the manic teen
or what I like to call the Manic Pixie
dream team yeah like the term Manic
Pixie dream girl coined by film critic
Nathan Robin but I don’t necessarily
believe this term is gender biased and
this is where adults see teens is these
molds and models for other teens to base
themselves
like that one popular kid in class that
everybody follows around or that ever
relentless annoying question of if this
person jumped off a bridge would you do
it too and the and the problem with
these archetypes is not that they
themselves aren’t accurate but the way
that people perceive and comprehend them
aren’t accurate yes
teens are mad at the world and yes
sometimes we do blindly follow other
teens around who know even who know just
as little or even less than we do but us
teens hate to admit it but we’re kind of
lost here the terms of finding one’s
self and frankly figuring it out are
things that are seen that can be
something that can be eliminated from
the growing up equation and not
something that we can work through and
this is where the communication between
teens and adults break at the seams and
teens feel like they have no voice and
this is where spoken where it comes in
now I know most people especially teens
feel like poetry is this thing where you
have to be a first year graduate student
with the focus and grammatical errors to
understand right no surprisingly we all
have something in common with Ernest and
Hemingway and Dickinson and Shakespeare
and frost and Baldwin and Hurston and
Hughes we all have names just like them
and we all have the exact same abilities
that they had when taking the
opportunity to write we all have
opinions and thoughts and feelings that
we feel needs to be heard that haven’t
been heard before
poetry is literally about any and
everything it can be a piece that
everyone can empathize with or the most
ambiguous piece ever written and what
matters is that it’s all your own poetry
is a piece of you your piece is your own
piece your own soapbox to stand upon now
I know this sounds like a lot but what
how you start off with it first is
making a safe space like the makeshift
one I’ve made here and a safe space is
where teens can come in and freely
express themselves knowing that what
they say and do here stays here and this
involves creating rules and
boundaries for that space including the
Vegas rule what’s said and done here
stays here
the don’t yell my young if I like it
love something and if you don’t that
doesn’t mean that you have to demean and
invalidate it just because you don’t the
ouch oops our own version of I’m hurt
and I’m sorry
and honesty these rules and boundaries
are not here to restrict any of the
voices in the room including the adults
these rules are here to create a
foundation for open dialogue between
teens and adults open open honest
dialogue and this dialogue can be about
anything from how their day went to how
they feel the current economic policies
could affect their growth in place in
this country’s future and as this
discussion continues this evolves into
their own self validation through these
things called free rights and they’re
exactly what they sound like kids use
points taken from these discussions and
write them into their own thoughts of
streams in consciousness now there’s no
judgment so everyone speaks positively
about one’s piece and validates them but
there’s no push or shove to share now I
know this seems like a lot to dive
headfirst into but you don’t have to be
your professional healer to know how to
create these spaces but if you’re still
a little nervous about it there are
plenty of spaces especially across this
country where you can go in and
experience firsthand the open
communication between teens and adults
these include spaces such as you speaks
residing in the Bay Area
DCU slam of course from Washington DC
urban word NYC residing in the ever
beautiful New York City and my home and
safe space Vox teen communications in
Atlanta where it works where I can go in
grab a snack receive some love and get
to writing about my thoughts and
feelings now at this point in my talk I
can feel every adult staring I mean the
craziest way possible saying hi I know
sharing feelings and communicating is
great and all but how do I give
I know sharing feelings and
communicating is great and all but what
about the grades and we have these
sayings in the poetry community and they
go like it’s not about the points it’s
about the poem
and listen to the poet and this means
that I know that there’s that one kid
that’s always that always doesn’t want
to do the assignment or doesn’t really
try but if you can see that kids are
honestly trying to communicate with you
and share their feelings there’s no
reason to grade their work on misspelled
words or grammatical errors and that
brings me to my last point empathy is
not required for compassion or
comprehension and teens and adults for
both of you just because you haven’t
gone through a similar situation doesn’t
mean that you can’t come to terms with
having comprehend comprehension and
compassion for somebody teens not all
adults are unwilling to listen or help
you work things out but you have to be
open to the idea of being open and
adults just because you think you can’t
empathize with teens you can just think
you were once a teen too with all the
power and fights and ideas and opinions
and confusion that this little time on
earth could buy you and don’t you wish
that there was someone there to listen
don’t you wish that someone was there to
map out and work through your journey
mistakes and all we don’t necessarily
wish to ask for much we just want to
know if you can hear us and if you can
are you listening and thank you for
being here and listening today
[Applause]
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