my son Yusuf is almost 5 years old he’s
cheeky charming almost always smiling
and on a surface incredibly confident
but when he was two and a half maybe
three years old yeah I think it was the
development of a belief and he told it
to me as I was buckling him into his car
seat one day he said Papa I don’t want
to be Muslim anymore and those eight
little words broke my heart because as a
person of color as a religious and
ethnic minority as an immigrant and as a
psychologist I know just how critical a
strong identity is to happiness and good
psychological health but more
importantly how important it is to being
a confident productive member of society
but I played it safe I got in the car
started to drive and then I said to him
so Yusef how come you don’t want to be
Muslim anymore and he said this to me as
clear as day he said because paw patrol
only celebrates Christmas and he was
right as a young Canadian he didn’t see
himself reflected in the world around
him in the institutions that held power
and sway on the development of
socialization and identity he and others
like him are just not represented but
Yusef thinking wasn’t just influenced by
a single cartoon Yusuf’s thinking was
influenced because the lack of
representation is systemic and that
begins early in childhood from things
that seem as simple and innocent as toys
as cartoons and that begins with things
like Lego where you’ll notice the leader
of a set of Asian character
is a white boy all the way to
superheroes where you’ll notice the only
person of color here is the Hulk and
now there is progress because we have
the Black Panther who Youssef thinks is
Muslim and I’ve just not bothered to
correct that yet but even this
perpetuates the Orientalist belief that
a black man can only be a king can only
be a hero in Africa the lack of
representation continues on in our adult
even our CEOs and our prime ministers
are predominantly white men the white
standard is a real phenomenon ethnically
and culturally because as my son so
clearly pointed out even the holidays
that we choose to celebrate as a society
do not reflect the diversity of our
Western society we focus on Christian
centric Easter and Christmas no Rosh
Hashanah no Diwali no Chinese New Year
no either a Ramadan not even National
Aboriginal day is a statutory holiday
there is the focus instead on one
tradition in a country with many
traditions Marian Wright Edelman she
said you can’t be what you can’t see
she’s a child’s right advocate but
representation is critical to all ages
because representation changes the way
that we think and not just of the
minority but also the majority
representation is also critical to
influence two components of successful
communication and human interaction the
way we see ourselves and the way that we
see others now there are some people who
might say we live in a predominantly
white and euros
metric world so then our practices and
cultures should be white in Eurocentric
but the most recent census informs us
that almost one in three Canadians is a
visible minority or an indigenous person
another one and three do not belong to a
Christian heritage or practice Western
society is diverse in numbers and so our
culture and practice should be – so at
this point in time we might be feeling
quite uncomfortable hearing a lot of
these heavy truths and I would say it’s
probably because we’re unhappy with the
way things are I would argue that most
Canadians don’t see themselves as
racists most of us value
multiculturalism even the institutions
and the organizations that we belong to
well they claim to support these values
of multiculturalism so then why do they
not I would say it’s because we’re
complacent in the way that we think
about and the way that we practice
diversity and inclusion we feel we’ve
come far enough on resolving issues of
discrimination simply because we have
more diverse people in our society and
because we drink from the same water
fountain but that is not sufficient if
we want to live in a truly inclusive
world when we’re complacent in the way
that we think about diversity inclusion
this happens a recent poll found that
67% of Canadians feel that we should be
screening immigrants based on their
values for safety now that suggests that
the core values of people around the
world are different and they’re not but
it also suggests that a different way of
thinking is dangerous
zena phobic beliefs like this exist
because we misunderstand those that we
perceive to be different from us because
their stories aren’t told or represented
well now all of this is not just
dangerous for the human psyche it’s
costly to our economy
a lack of representation negatively
impacts learning a lack of
representation reduces productivity
tenfold a lack of representation
decreases communication between groups
of people and all of that undermines the
economy of our nation so it makes sense
then that we try to understand and
resolve the thoughts that are
responsible for not just ethnic cultural
and religious discrimination but for
discrimination against women against the
LGBTQ community against people with
disabilities mental or physical the
beliefs that are responsible for these
kinds of difficulties are what we call
unconscious bias they remain outside of
our realm of awareness but they clearly
impact the way that we interact with
each other and the way that we feel
about each other the good news is that
if we can be more mindful about how we
think about other people our beliefs
those biases then we can make more
conscious efforts at changing how we
might interact with people and that
changes how we feel about different
people now there’s one key bias that
explains why paw patrol only celebrates
Christmas and why our CEO and prime
ministers predominantly white men and
that’s the us versus them bias us is
local white and that’s familiar so it’s
comfortable and good then is colored
cultural and foreign and that’s not so
comfortable so it’s not good how do I
know that people see me as foreign
because of the one question I get asked
on a pretty regular basis where are you
from now this question is ripe with
implications but I answer it anyhow I
but it’s a follow-up question that shows
how stuck we can be in our bias oh but
where are you really from
why because Winnipeg is not believable
because the assumption is that I’m not
local and so people of color remain
perpetually foreign no amount of time
lived here no citizenship no taxes paid
no contribution to science or society
deems us more local than those who
appear white
now all this might come across as me
being overly sensitive so please let’s
clarify that I want you to think about
inclusion like it’s inviting a
vegetarian family member over for dinner
we say we love them we value their
choices and their beliefs and then we
only serve meat at the table heaps and
heaps of bacon sausage and short ribs
and then they can’t eat and are a little
bit perturbed and then we think she’s
how sensitive of them and entitled they
came over to our house well some people
might be thinking enough with the
complaining can we just look forward
truth and reconciliation are we living
in the past but complaining or at least
the ability to be heard is a part of the
solution I mean I get it I get it this
is really heavy awkward and guilt
provoking information it makes us all
incredibly anxious but as a psychologist
I’ve treated anxiety as a specialist for
the past 13 years so let me tell you a
little secret about anxiety okay the
more you avoid the worse it gets
see avoidance promotes this false belief
that we’re safe when we avoid that thing
that makes us anxious when in truth it
only makes us more anxious an
increasingly sensitive
working through the anxiety means wading
through the waters of discomfort and an
ultimately our body adjust to that cold
and uncomfortable temperature and then
we can finally start to swim so weight
into the waters of discomfort and stay
there for a little while move towards
the problem instead of away from it
generally avoid avoidance now when doing
this we begin to feel much more
comfortable and talking about these
issues of diversity and inclusion and
then something really amazing happens we
start to identify our bias for just that
bias and bias is a human thing we all
have it it doesn’t necessarily make us
bad people but it can reflect the lack
of information due to a lack of
information bias are talking about
discrimination can also do one pretty
amazing thing it creates space for those
who’ve been discriminated against for
those who’ve been marginalized it helps
them feel normalized and validated and
all of this helps us to think more
practically and problem-solve let me
give you an example so I was on my way
to DC for work I get onto a flight I
have a seat and I’m so looking forward
to this Star Trek movie so I open it up
and then this woman comes on the plane
and she’s on her cell phone talking very
loudly complaining about her employees
and I’ll admit it I had a bias against
this woman and as luck would have it she
came and set right next to me all I
wanted to do was finish watching Star
Trek but all I could think about was I
betcha she’s gonna ask me where I’m from
well a few minutes later she finishes
her phone call hangs up looks curiously
over at me and then taps me on the
shoulder I pull out my earbuds they
brace for impact and then she says
excuse me I said well I mean where are
you from Winnipeg no but where are you
really from and where are you really
from I said irritated now I was annoyed
and not just because Star Trek was
interrupted now later on in the flight
after we could feel the awkwardness and
the tension pulsating between us
she had the bravery to tap me on my
shoulder again but this time she said
I’m really sorry I realized I offended
you but I don’t understand why what I
asked was so offensive and I’m asking
because I don’t want to do it to
somebody else so would you please do me
the honor of explaining why and then my
apprehensiveness instantly dropped and
her anxiety left as a result of that and
her and I had a really amazing
discussion she had owned her error and
moved into the anxiety she transformed
her anxiety into curiosity and that gave
me space she acknowledged my experience
it was enough for me to put down Star
Trek and give her the time of day to
start talking and she admitted to me
that she wouldn’t have asked me where I
was from if I was white because she
would have assumed we were similar
because we looked the same and I said to
her asking me where I was from simply
because I wasn’t white it removed my
sense of connectedness to a place that I
call home now the way I look my
background is a part of who I am it’s
critically important to me but it can’t
be used to assume things about me or
thrust into any conversation as a dinner
party novelty my background and identity
just like all of yours is a part of who
I am not all of Who I am now this
conversation did something else it
changed my perception of her from
we talked we found out we had a lot more
in common we were more similar than than
different despite the fact that we might
not have looked the same I found out she
was a leader in her field and her
community that she was well-traveled and
well-educated and her thinking shifted
from us versus them to simply us what if
we all do what this woman did lean into
the anxiety of the discussions of
diversity and inclusion talk more about
how bias whether it’s intentional or not
might perpetuate institutionalized
racism now I would argue that we don’t
just need to do this as individuals but
leaders need to do this for the
communities the organizations and the
countries they lead because frankly
leaders set a trend they lead so let’s
get back to my son does two and a half
almost three year old realization that
his face and his culture were not
present in a country and a culture that
were his and so this is my challenge to
you all in specific this is my call to
will we use our privilege and the
ability to influence the way other
people think to create a new standard
that is not just a white standard for my
son and for everybody else like him so
if you’re his teacher
if you end up his employer if you’re his
mayor if you’re as Prime Minister if
you’re as president heck if you’re the
production company that puts on the
shows that he watches including paw
Patrol will you stop being complacent
will you wade into the waters of
discomfort and learn about the issues of
diversity and inclusion and the problems
that come with a lack of representation
well he and others like him be
represented in all aspects of their life
will he and others have space in a world
that is theirs
I hope these questions will help shift
our perspectives but ultimately our
practice because perspective is nothing
unless it’s acted upon and questions
well they can be worthless unless unless
we answer them thank you [Applause]
cheeky charming almost always smiling
and on a surface incredibly confident
but when he was two and a half maybe
three years old yeah I think it was the
development of a belief and he told it
to me as I was buckling him into his car
seat one day he said Papa I don’t want
to be Muslim anymore and those eight
little words broke my heart because as a
person of color as a religious and
ethnic minority as an immigrant and as a
psychologist I know just how critical a
strong identity is to happiness and good
psychological health but more
importantly how important it is to being
a confident productive member of society
but I played it safe I got in the car
started to drive and then I said to him
so Yusef how come you don’t want to be
Muslim anymore and he said this to me as
clear as day he said because paw patrol
only celebrates Christmas and he was
right as a young Canadian he didn’t see
himself reflected in the world around
him in the institutions that held power
and sway on the development of
socialization and identity he and others
like him are just not represented but
Yusef thinking wasn’t just influenced by
a single cartoon Yusuf’s thinking was
influenced because the lack of
representation is systemic and that
begins early in childhood from things
that seem as simple and innocent as toys
as cartoons and that begins with things
like Lego where you’ll notice the leader
of a set of Asian character
is a white boy all the way to
superheroes where you’ll notice the only
person of color here is the Hulk and
now there is progress because we have
the Black Panther who Youssef thinks is
Muslim and I’ve just not bothered to
correct that yet but even this
perpetuates the Orientalist belief that
a black man can only be a king can only
be a hero in Africa the lack of
representation continues on in our adult
even our CEOs and our prime ministers
are predominantly white men the white
standard is a real phenomenon ethnically
and culturally because as my son so
clearly pointed out even the holidays
that we choose to celebrate as a society
do not reflect the diversity of our
Western society we focus on Christian
centric Easter and Christmas no Rosh
Hashanah no Diwali no Chinese New Year
no either a Ramadan not even National
Aboriginal day is a statutory holiday
there is the focus instead on one
tradition in a country with many
traditions Marian Wright Edelman she
said you can’t be what you can’t see
she’s a child’s right advocate but
representation is critical to all ages
because representation changes the way
that we think and not just of the
minority but also the majority
representation is also critical to
influence two components of successful
communication and human interaction the
way we see ourselves and the way that we
see others now there are some people who
might say we live in a predominantly
white and euros
metric world so then our practices and
cultures should be white in Eurocentric
but the most recent census informs us
that almost one in three Canadians is a
visible minority or an indigenous person
another one and three do not belong to a
Christian heritage or practice Western
society is diverse in numbers and so our
culture and practice should be – so at
this point in time we might be feeling
quite uncomfortable hearing a lot of
these heavy truths and I would say it’s
probably because we’re unhappy with the
way things are I would argue that most
Canadians don’t see themselves as
racists most of us value
multiculturalism even the institutions
and the organizations that we belong to
well they claim to support these values
of multiculturalism so then why do they
not I would say it’s because we’re
complacent in the way that we think
about and the way that we practice
diversity and inclusion we feel we’ve
come far enough on resolving issues of
discrimination simply because we have
more diverse people in our society and
because we drink from the same water
fountain but that is not sufficient if
we want to live in a truly inclusive
world when we’re complacent in the way
that we think about diversity inclusion
this happens a recent poll found that
67% of Canadians feel that we should be
screening immigrants based on their
values for safety now that suggests that
the core values of people around the
world are different and they’re not but
it also suggests that a different way of
thinking is dangerous
zena phobic beliefs like this exist
because we misunderstand those that we
perceive to be different from us because
their stories aren’t told or represented
well now all of this is not just
dangerous for the human psyche it’s
costly to our economy
a lack of representation negatively
impacts learning a lack of
representation reduces productivity
tenfold a lack of representation
decreases communication between groups
of people and all of that undermines the
economy of our nation so it makes sense
then that we try to understand and
resolve the thoughts that are
responsible for not just ethnic cultural
and religious discrimination but for
discrimination against women against the
LGBTQ community against people with
disabilities mental or physical the
beliefs that are responsible for these
kinds of difficulties are what we call
unconscious bias they remain outside of
our realm of awareness but they clearly
impact the way that we interact with
each other and the way that we feel
about each other the good news is that
if we can be more mindful about how we
think about other people our beliefs
those biases then we can make more
conscious efforts at changing how we
might interact with people and that
changes how we feel about different
people now there’s one key bias that
explains why paw patrol only celebrates
Christmas and why our CEO and prime
ministers predominantly white men and
that’s the us versus them bias us is
local white and that’s familiar so it’s
comfortable and good then is colored
cultural and foreign and that’s not so
comfortable so it’s not good how do I
know that people see me as foreign
because of the one question I get asked
on a pretty regular basis where are you
from now this question is ripe with
implications but I answer it anyhow I
but it’s a follow-up question that shows
how stuck we can be in our bias oh but
where are you really from
why because Winnipeg is not believable
because the assumption is that I’m not
local and so people of color remain
perpetually foreign no amount of time
lived here no citizenship no taxes paid
no contribution to science or society
deems us more local than those who
appear white
now all this might come across as me
being overly sensitive so please let’s
clarify that I want you to think about
inclusion like it’s inviting a
vegetarian family member over for dinner
we say we love them we value their
choices and their beliefs and then we
only serve meat at the table heaps and
heaps of bacon sausage and short ribs
and then they can’t eat and are a little
bit perturbed and then we think she’s
how sensitive of them and entitled they
came over to our house well some people
might be thinking enough with the
complaining can we just look forward
truth and reconciliation are we living
in the past but complaining or at least
the ability to be heard is a part of the
solution I mean I get it I get it this
is really heavy awkward and guilt
provoking information it makes us all
incredibly anxious but as a psychologist
I’ve treated anxiety as a specialist for
the past 13 years so let me tell you a
little secret about anxiety okay the
more you avoid the worse it gets
see avoidance promotes this false belief
that we’re safe when we avoid that thing
that makes us anxious when in truth it
only makes us more anxious an
increasingly sensitive
working through the anxiety means wading
through the waters of discomfort and an
ultimately our body adjust to that cold
and uncomfortable temperature and then
we can finally start to swim so weight
into the waters of discomfort and stay
there for a little while move towards
the problem instead of away from it
generally avoid avoidance now when doing
this we begin to feel much more
comfortable and talking about these
issues of diversity and inclusion and
then something really amazing happens we
start to identify our bias for just that
bias and bias is a human thing we all
have it it doesn’t necessarily make us
bad people but it can reflect the lack
of information due to a lack of
information bias are talking about
discrimination can also do one pretty
amazing thing it creates space for those
who’ve been discriminated against for
those who’ve been marginalized it helps
them feel normalized and validated and
all of this helps us to think more
practically and problem-solve let me
give you an example so I was on my way
to DC for work I get onto a flight I
have a seat and I’m so looking forward
to this Star Trek movie so I open it up
and then this woman comes on the plane
and she’s on her cell phone talking very
loudly complaining about her employees
and I’ll admit it I had a bias against
this woman and as luck would have it she
came and set right next to me all I
wanted to do was finish watching Star
Trek but all I could think about was I
betcha she’s gonna ask me where I’m from
well a few minutes later she finishes
her phone call hangs up looks curiously
over at me and then taps me on the
shoulder I pull out my earbuds they
brace for impact and then she says
excuse me I said well I mean where are
you from Winnipeg no but where are you
really from and where are you really
from I said irritated now I was annoyed
and not just because Star Trek was
interrupted now later on in the flight
after we could feel the awkwardness and
the tension pulsating between us
she had the bravery to tap me on my
shoulder again but this time she said
I’m really sorry I realized I offended
you but I don’t understand why what I
asked was so offensive and I’m asking
because I don’t want to do it to
somebody else so would you please do me
the honor of explaining why and then my
apprehensiveness instantly dropped and
her anxiety left as a result of that and
her and I had a really amazing
discussion she had owned her error and
moved into the anxiety she transformed
her anxiety into curiosity and that gave
me space she acknowledged my experience
it was enough for me to put down Star
Trek and give her the time of day to
start talking and she admitted to me
that she wouldn’t have asked me where I
was from if I was white because she
would have assumed we were similar
because we looked the same and I said to
her asking me where I was from simply
because I wasn’t white it removed my
sense of connectedness to a place that I
call home now the way I look my
background is a part of who I am it’s
critically important to me but it can’t
be used to assume things about me or
thrust into any conversation as a dinner
party novelty my background and identity
just like all of yours is a part of who
I am not all of Who I am now this
conversation did something else it
changed my perception of her from
we talked we found out we had a lot more
in common we were more similar than than
different despite the fact that we might
not have looked the same I found out she
was a leader in her field and her
community that she was well-traveled and
well-educated and her thinking shifted
from us versus them to simply us what if
we all do what this woman did lean into
the anxiety of the discussions of
diversity and inclusion talk more about
how bias whether it’s intentional or not
might perpetuate institutionalized
racism now I would argue that we don’t
just need to do this as individuals but
leaders need to do this for the
communities the organizations and the
countries they lead because frankly
leaders set a trend they lead so let’s
get back to my son does two and a half
almost three year old realization that
his face and his culture were not
present in a country and a culture that
were his and so this is my challenge to
you all in specific this is my call to
will we use our privilege and the
ability to influence the way other
people think to create a new standard
that is not just a white standard for my
son and for everybody else like him so
if you’re his teacher
if you end up his employer if you’re his
mayor if you’re as Prime Minister if
you’re as president heck if you’re the
production company that puts on the
shows that he watches including paw
Patrol will you stop being complacent
will you wade into the waters of
discomfort and learn about the issues of
diversity and inclusion and the problems
that come with a lack of representation
well he and others like him be
represented in all aspects of their life
will he and others have space in a world
that is theirs
I hope these questions will help shift
our perspectives but ultimately our
practice because perspective is nothing
unless it’s acted upon and questions
well they can be worthless unless unless
we answer them thank you [Applause]
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