I think we assume that bravery has to be
some big grand act that we have to rush
in and we have to save someone’s life
that we have to be featured on CNN
bravery it’s not for the small people
it’s not for the average it’s not for
you or me but what if I told you that
bravery could be small that little
things we do each day can amount to
brilliant acts of bravery that maybe
just maybe it’s about being a little
vulnerable so today I chose to be brave
and I have a confession for you I’m a
college student and I suffer from mental
illness and that’s depression and
anxiety to be exact you see the problem
with these illnesses is that they’re not
physical we don’t always know what we’re
fighting with we can’t storm castles
with swords and shields we don’t feel
very brave sometimes we just think that
they’re a figment of our imagination we
feel crazy but I’m here today to tell
you that these illnesses are very real
and many people have suffered from them
and there are many stories and each and
every one is beautiful and painful in
some way and today I’m gonna tell you
mine so here it is growing up my parents
describe me as fearful and anxious I
know I would constantly look outside
check the weather make sure it wasn’t
going to rain or thunder or else I would
refuse to go outside I made it through
both middle school and high school I got
by I didn’t realize that there is this
illness living inside me then I got to
college and as things do they fell apart
now us college students were vulnerable
you know we leave home for the first
time we have to worry about making new
friends about our roommates about
feeding ourselves about exercise about
grades and it’s hard for us it’s hard to
feel brave things like depression and
anxiety well they start creeping in I
learned this my sophomore year of
college now I don’t know exactly how to
describe it it’s one of those things
that you generally don’t understand if
you haven’t felt it but gradually I felt
this wave of panic
of dread and just awfulness
wash over me I started avoiding things
this includes friends classes professors
assignments if I failed something I
wouldn’t want to get out of bed the next
day now later on I learned that this is
actually a poor coping mechanism for
anxiety my sophomore year I actually was
withdrawn from every single one of my
classes I stayed in bed most days I felt
miserable I felt like nothing mattered
and naturally this caused some tension
between me and my family you know it’s
hard to send someone away to college and
watch them fail especially you don’t
know exactly what’s wrong when you can’t
pinpoint their suffering so we thought
we cry thanks
well they hurt and all of this time I
did some writing because to be honest
with you that’s about all the bravery I
had I wrote about what it was like I
wrote poems and stories and I actually
want to read an excerpt of that for you
here it is it’s like feeling the weight
of the universe tie you to your bed in
the morning it’s missing class
unexplainably and having to come up with
excuses for missing class because I’m
depressed just doesn’t sound like enough
it’s throwing away your talents and
passions because everything feels
meaningless
it’s feeling inexplicably dull it’s when
everything you eat tastes like soap it’s
being afraid to commit to anything
because you don’t know if you’ll be able
to get out of bed that day and it’s
joyless day after day after day the
summer after my sophomore year I started
getting some help I went to a counselor
I started taking medicine I started
exercising being out in the Sun more but
if you know anything about mental
illness you know that there isn’t
exactly a cure I mean there are
treatments but sometimes they take weeks
sometimes they take months and sometimes
they take years so I went back for my
junior year of college with the sort of
false hope I figured if I just pushed on
everything would be okay and for a
little while it was I was doing every
single thing I was supposed to do I was
exercising I was eating I was taking my
medicine I was getting out of bed but I
was triggered again my mental illness it
came back this time it was because of a
pretty toxic and abusive relationship
when my illness came back I came back
with a vengeance
I stayed in bed most days I started
questioning why I was here everything I
had loved felt pointless I didn’t want
to do anything anymore I didn’t want to
be anything anymore
I just felt hopeless
that semester I failed two of my classes
and I was withdrawn from the other two
after that semester my parents mostly
and I knew that we needed to make some
changes this just wasn’t working so in a
step of bravery I left I transferred and
I’ve gotten a lot of help I’ve had a lot
of support and I’ve had a lot of people
staying beside me and today I can say
I’m okay
but here’s the thing statistics tells me
that I’m not the only one suffering in
fact one in four college students is
suffering from some sort of mental
illness that could be depression anxiety
OCD schizophrenia so do me a favor
picture one of those lecture halls kind
of like this but with just a hundred
seats in it now the professor asks 25 of
those students to stand up those 25
students are suffering those 25 students
are fighting an illness
but they can’t even touch now like I
said my story is my story I can’t speak
for everyone else but I did take some
time to hear what my fellow warriors had
to say I did some interviews I heard
about a girl who was too anxious to eat
food so she dropped down to 90 pounds I
heard about PTSD and intense crippling
depression from dating violence I heard
about panic attacks over being unable to
make others happy I even heard about
crippling depression that sent a girl
younger than me to the hospital I asked
all of these students single words or
phrases to describe how they were
feeling I noticed a common threat it’s
excruciating it’s
cating it’s constant it’s always there
when these students stepped out in
bravery they felt like they weren’t
listening to when they tried to be brave
no one was there to hear but I want to
tell you all something very simple it’s
a little secret I have that has the
ability to change everything it doesn’t
have to be that way
see I’m not stupid I don’t think that we
can eradicate mental illness forever I
know it’s going to exist but each and
every one of you in this room has the
ability to stand beside those who are
fighting we have the ability to support
people to listen to them so parents
siblings friends educators everyone you
can be brave alongside us too
now I know this isn’t always easy
if you ever dealt with someone with
mental illness before you know it can be
frustrating you can’t just give them an
advil and say okay feel better you want
to shake them you want to ask them why
do you feel this way why can’t I see it
explain it to me I felt people I loved
run away from me
I even had a school administrator at my
former university look me in the eye and
tell me this institution it’s just not
meant for people like you may that never
be said to a single student ever again
we have to meet our students bravery
with acceptance with understanding we
have to walk alongside them educators I
know your goal is to teach your students
how to be productive members of society
you want them to be successful you want
them to get out there and change the
world how can we be successful if we’re
too
overwhelmed so what can we do well I
encourage anyone in this room who works
with mentally ill people and especially
professors start channeling an
environment where it’s okay to talk
about mental illness or we can all be
open about it I had one professor tell
me that while he was in grad school
he suffered from crippling depression
and in that instance I knew I could
trust him I knew I would be safe but
there’s also a flip side to that I
remember going to a professor one time
and telling him I just need an extra day
on an assignment I am too anxious I’m
shutting down I’m panicking and he
looked at me like I was crazy and to be
honest with you I felt crazy now I’m not
asking for this perfect understanding of
the human mind I’m not asking her
assignments without due dates that’s
impractical that’s silly
but I am asking you to meet us in the
middle to come and walk alongside us and
see what we can do together because I
promise it can be good now I know
there’s probably someone in this room
suffering from mental illness like me
and actually probably more than one
someone so I want to tell you something
it’s something that got me through a lot
it’s a very simple fact and I want you
to remember it I want you to write it
down I do not want you to forget this it
will not be this way forever so please
please keep going let yourself be loved
let your story be told and tell it to
every single person who will listen and
above all
keep being brief thank you [Applause]
some big grand act that we have to rush
in and we have to save someone’s life
that we have to be featured on CNN
bravery it’s not for the small people
it’s not for the average it’s not for
you or me but what if I told you that
bravery could be small that little
things we do each day can amount to
brilliant acts of bravery that maybe
just maybe it’s about being a little
vulnerable so today I chose to be brave
and I have a confession for you I’m a
college student and I suffer from mental
illness and that’s depression and
anxiety to be exact you see the problem
with these illnesses is that they’re not
physical we don’t always know what we’re
fighting with we can’t storm castles
with swords and shields we don’t feel
very brave sometimes we just think that
they’re a figment of our imagination we
feel crazy but I’m here today to tell
you that these illnesses are very real
and many people have suffered from them
and there are many stories and each and
every one is beautiful and painful in
some way and today I’m gonna tell you
mine so here it is growing up my parents
describe me as fearful and anxious I
know I would constantly look outside
check the weather make sure it wasn’t
going to rain or thunder or else I would
refuse to go outside I made it through
both middle school and high school I got
by I didn’t realize that there is this
illness living inside me then I got to
college and as things do they fell apart
now us college students were vulnerable
you know we leave home for the first
time we have to worry about making new
friends about our roommates about
feeding ourselves about exercise about
grades and it’s hard for us it’s hard to
feel brave things like depression and
anxiety well they start creeping in I
learned this my sophomore year of
college now I don’t know exactly how to
describe it it’s one of those things
that you generally don’t understand if
you haven’t felt it but gradually I felt
this wave of panic
of dread and just awfulness
wash over me I started avoiding things
this includes friends classes professors
assignments if I failed something I
wouldn’t want to get out of bed the next
day now later on I learned that this is
actually a poor coping mechanism for
anxiety my sophomore year I actually was
withdrawn from every single one of my
classes I stayed in bed most days I felt
miserable I felt like nothing mattered
and naturally this caused some tension
between me and my family you know it’s
hard to send someone away to college and
watch them fail especially you don’t
know exactly what’s wrong when you can’t
pinpoint their suffering so we thought
we cry thanks
well they hurt and all of this time I
did some writing because to be honest
with you that’s about all the bravery I
had I wrote about what it was like I
wrote poems and stories and I actually
want to read an excerpt of that for you
here it is it’s like feeling the weight
of the universe tie you to your bed in
the morning it’s missing class
unexplainably and having to come up with
excuses for missing class because I’m
depressed just doesn’t sound like enough
it’s throwing away your talents and
passions because everything feels
meaningless
it’s feeling inexplicably dull it’s when
everything you eat tastes like soap it’s
being afraid to commit to anything
because you don’t know if you’ll be able
to get out of bed that day and it’s
joyless day after day after day the
summer after my sophomore year I started
getting some help I went to a counselor
I started taking medicine I started
exercising being out in the Sun more but
if you know anything about mental
illness you know that there isn’t
exactly a cure I mean there are
treatments but sometimes they take weeks
sometimes they take months and sometimes
they take years so I went back for my
junior year of college with the sort of
false hope I figured if I just pushed on
everything would be okay and for a
little while it was I was doing every
single thing I was supposed to do I was
exercising I was eating I was taking my
medicine I was getting out of bed but I
was triggered again my mental illness it
came back this time it was because of a
pretty toxic and abusive relationship
when my illness came back I came back
with a vengeance
I stayed in bed most days I started
questioning why I was here everything I
had loved felt pointless I didn’t want
to do anything anymore I didn’t want to
be anything anymore
I just felt hopeless
that semester I failed two of my classes
and I was withdrawn from the other two
after that semester my parents mostly
and I knew that we needed to make some
changes this just wasn’t working so in a
step of bravery I left I transferred and
I’ve gotten a lot of help I’ve had a lot
of support and I’ve had a lot of people
staying beside me and today I can say
I’m okay
but here’s the thing statistics tells me
that I’m not the only one suffering in
fact one in four college students is
suffering from some sort of mental
illness that could be depression anxiety
OCD schizophrenia so do me a favor
picture one of those lecture halls kind
of like this but with just a hundred
seats in it now the professor asks 25 of
those students to stand up those 25
students are suffering those 25 students
are fighting an illness
but they can’t even touch now like I
said my story is my story I can’t speak
for everyone else but I did take some
time to hear what my fellow warriors had
to say I did some interviews I heard
about a girl who was too anxious to eat
food so she dropped down to 90 pounds I
heard about PTSD and intense crippling
depression from dating violence I heard
about panic attacks over being unable to
make others happy I even heard about
crippling depression that sent a girl
younger than me to the hospital I asked
all of these students single words or
phrases to describe how they were
feeling I noticed a common threat it’s
excruciating it’s
cating it’s constant it’s always there
when these students stepped out in
bravery they felt like they weren’t
listening to when they tried to be brave
no one was there to hear but I want to
tell you all something very simple it’s
a little secret I have that has the
ability to change everything it doesn’t
have to be that way
see I’m not stupid I don’t think that we
can eradicate mental illness forever I
know it’s going to exist but each and
every one of you in this room has the
ability to stand beside those who are
fighting we have the ability to support
people to listen to them so parents
siblings friends educators everyone you
can be brave alongside us too
now I know this isn’t always easy
if you ever dealt with someone with
mental illness before you know it can be
frustrating you can’t just give them an
advil and say okay feel better you want
to shake them you want to ask them why
do you feel this way why can’t I see it
explain it to me I felt people I loved
run away from me
I even had a school administrator at my
former university look me in the eye and
tell me this institution it’s just not
meant for people like you may that never
be said to a single student ever again
we have to meet our students bravery
with acceptance with understanding we
have to walk alongside them educators I
know your goal is to teach your students
how to be productive members of society
you want them to be successful you want
them to get out there and change the
world how can we be successful if we’re
too
overwhelmed so what can we do well I
encourage anyone in this room who works
with mentally ill people and especially
professors start channeling an
environment where it’s okay to talk
about mental illness or we can all be
open about it I had one professor tell
me that while he was in grad school
he suffered from crippling depression
and in that instance I knew I could
trust him I knew I would be safe but
there’s also a flip side to that I
remember going to a professor one time
and telling him I just need an extra day
on an assignment I am too anxious I’m
shutting down I’m panicking and he
looked at me like I was crazy and to be
honest with you I felt crazy now I’m not
asking for this perfect understanding of
the human mind I’m not asking her
assignments without due dates that’s
impractical that’s silly
but I am asking you to meet us in the
middle to come and walk alongside us and
see what we can do together because I
promise it can be good now I know
there’s probably someone in this room
suffering from mental illness like me
and actually probably more than one
someone so I want to tell you something
it’s something that got me through a lot
it’s a very simple fact and I want you
to remember it I want you to write it
down I do not want you to forget this it
will not be this way forever so please
please keep going let yourself be loved
let your story be told and tell it to
every single person who will listen and
above all
keep being brief thank you [Applause]
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