treat your coworkers with respect meet
deadlines too explicit understandings
that every employee knows and is
expected to follow their in the HR
manual but there are other powerful
unspoken understandings that employees
follow even though they aren’t in an HR
manual here are two examples
don’t be vulnerable I recently spoke to
a group of managers at a leadership
development conference and our topic
that morning was being present during
the discussion a man raised his hand and
he shared with the group how he had lost
his daughter to breast cancer he was
choked up with tears when he told us he
would give anything to turn back the
clock and be more present in her life he
hadn’t been present not until she got
sick over and over again he apologized
to that group I’m sorry for being so
emotional
he looked embarrassed and ashamed the
second unspoken understanding if you’re
hurting don’t let it show it’s tradition
in our office for mothers to bring their
new babies in for everyone to do and all
over them one afternoon a woman who had
been out on maternity leave brought her
baby and to meet everyone I told her how
beautiful her baby was I even held her
and then when she left I rushed into my
office I shut the door and I started to
sob I ache inside when I see a baby I’ve
had two miscarriages and I feel flooded
with grief when I see them we all
understand that if we have to cry we
should go outside or into a bathroom
stall or behind a shut and locked door
to pull ourselves together and so I’ve
learned to deal with my pain privately
so that I don’t make other people feel
uncomfortable these are just some of the
unspoken under
standings we work by they imply that
it’s fine to come to work as an employee
but it’s shameful and it’s awkward to
come to work as a human being I believe
we pay a huge price for creating work
environments that don’t allow for
humanity we take the humanity out of
business
we need more humanity and business not
less and so tonight I will make the case
for bringing humans back to work are we
connected to each other well you would
think so after all we instantly connect
24 hours a day seven days a week and so
you might be surprised to learn we’re
actually disconnected from each other
and the evidence is everywhere for
example today it’s acceptable to tell
someone off in an email if you want to
end a relationship no need to have a
conversation when you can send a text
message work weeks are filled with
working lunches and now more than ever
people are working alone and in virtual
environments these behaviors are
symptoms of disconnection which can lead
to some serious health problems
according to the research 5 Steve Cole
he found that the lack of social
connection can be more detrimental to
our overall health than obesity smoking
or high blood pressure
Matthew Lieberman in his book social why
our brains are wired to connect says
that the importance of social connection
is so big that when we feel rejection or
other social pain it registers in our
brains as physical pain but the benefits
of social connection there’s so many of
them it’s widely believed that it
strengthens our immune system and keeps
us healthier and that social connection
is the key to productive relationships
and successful work environments I find
this research so compelling that at our
company we’ve begun architecting a
program called the whole life Academy
the purpose of this program is to reduce
our healthcare spending but our
intention is to do that in a very unique
way to develop more whole and more
connected employees over the next year
it’s our intention for example to roll
out tools or education or resources to
help employees understand more about
their health and well-being to be more
connected to their friends and families
to love more deeply and we believe our
efforts will be worth it now for a
moment please picture yourself at work
do you work alone in a virtual
environment do you work in a real office
with real people if you work alone in a
virtual environment you might need to
use your imagination here since you’re
only co-workers potentially Alexa now
consider these questions are we are are
you connected enough to the people
around you to know when they need a
little help are you connected enough to
the people around you to ask for a
little help when you need it and third
are you cultivating work environments
that allow for strong connection don’t
worry we’re gonna take a look at its
each of these questions the first are
you connected enough to the people
around you to know when they need a
little help so here’s a situation that
came up for me one one one morning a
woman who works on my team was rushing
back and forth in front of my office to
the restroom now I know from personal
experience how miserable this sort of
thing can be when it happens at work and
so I made the decision at first to
ignore it so I wouldn’t embarrass her
after a fifth or sixth trip by I decided
I had two choices one I could get the
heck out of the way
when she went barreling by or two I
could say something and so I decided to
say something now I’m not a doctor or
trained in anything related to digestive
issues but what I do know is that stress
can wreak havoc on your body and so I
asked her are you feeling stressed or
overwhelmed today and she emphatically
nodded yes so I brought her in an office
I closed the door I turned off the
lights and I let her through a series of
breathing exercises I put my hands on
her shoulders I breathed with her to
calming down it only took a few minutes
out of my day to be present with her an
hour later she reported feeling great
her stomach had settled down now can you
imagine doing that for someone you work
with
if you can’t why not is it because you
don’t have the time or you don’t know
how to help or is it because you know
that touching at work is not accept not
okay as the head of HR you think I’d be
the first person to tell you that
touching at work is a no-no listen the
truth is it’s easy to rationalize why
it’s okay to ignore a co-worker in
distress because connecting takes
conscious effort that brings us to the
second question are you connected enough
to the people around you to ask for help
when you need it about a year ago a man
who works for our company told a group
of us that his his son had been addicted
to drugs through tears he was choked up
he told us how he couldn’t believe it
happened in front of his eyes how scared
he was and then he went on to share his
concern that there were young people in
our work family who were similarly
addicted he said if you see these signs
call me I’ll help you we have to help
these people fast forward to a few
months ago a family member of mine who
had been showing signs of drug abuse
admitted to being addicted do you
who I called late on a Friday night and
tears that guy who told the story he
told me was okay to be scared he gave me
some good advice he let me cry I will
never forget the compassion that he
showed me and there are other people in
my work family who have done the same
and you can bet that their willingness
to connect has made me more loyal to my
job that brings us to the third question
are you cultivating work environments
that allow for strong connections I
believe we have to shift our mindsets if
we’re going to bring connection into the
workplace work and life balance it’s no
longer a thing it’s all just life and we
have to live it and encourage our
co-workers to do the same earlier this
spring a man who works on my team asked
me if he could leave for a few hours the
next day to go to his son’s pre-school
graduation so I asked him well what time
is the graduation and he said 10:30 in
the morning so I just suggested why
don’t you go to the graduation and come
to work afterward and he looked at me
like I was sort of insane to suggest
that he not come to work for one hour
before the ceremony how do we bring
humans back to work well it starts by
being the kinds of leaders who tell a
guy like that to take his kid out for a
special breakfast instead of rushing to
an office that’s humanity in business
it’s a simple shift in our thinking that
empowers people to feel whole and feel
connected regardless of whether it’s
before during or after business hours
you bring humanity in business when you
ask people how they’re doing and you
actually listen to what they say start
asking your colleagues questions that
invite them to tell you about their
lives outside of work
the more you’re listening the more
people are going to tell you and what
you learn will help you coach them to
better and better work outcomes
maybe you find out that a woman loves
photography and so she takes pictures at
your next work event you save money and
she gets recognition maybe you find out
that a man lost his father to heart
disease and so he creates the company’s
team for the next American Heart
Association’s 5k in the process of
building connections you leverage skills
you didn’t know existed you improve your
brand and employee loyalty you increase
employees engagement and you drive
results early in 2016 I started a yoga
teacher training program during the
first weekend of a sixth weekend program
we were in a yoga session that required
us to take some time for a long quiet
meditation during which we were told to
give ourselves loving-kindness well I
quickly learned I did not know how to be
quiet or connected I also learned that I
did not know how to be kind or
compassionate to myself and so I started
on the path to becoming a new kind of
person during the journey I met with a
gal on my work team who had been working
with me for a few years
normal weekly meeting and she made a
comment about how much more approachable
and kinder I was than I used to be and
so I said why don’t you tell me a little
bit more about what you mean and she
said well you are always so busy running
from here to there on the phone and
meetings being all important that you
were actually never really all that nice
that conversation told me I was on the
right path I needed to bring my work and
my life together compassion and kindness
toward myself and others letting go of
ego embracing vulnerability softening
allowing ourselves to feel
these aren’t just things that belong on
a yoga mat they belong everywhere all
the time regardless of what time of day
it is or where you work or where you
come from or what kind of work you do
they are the key to being human and
they’re what makes us whole and so I
continue on my journey to bring humans
back to work every day I try to ask
myself what did i do today to help
someone else live a more connected a
more full life and so I’m gonna leave
you with these two questions tomorrow
morning when you get up and you go to
your job how are you going to connect
with someone how are you going to help
bring humans back to work thank you
[Applause]
deadlines too explicit understandings
that every employee knows and is
expected to follow their in the HR
manual but there are other powerful
unspoken understandings that employees
follow even though they aren’t in an HR
manual here are two examples
don’t be vulnerable I recently spoke to
a group of managers at a leadership
development conference and our topic
that morning was being present during
the discussion a man raised his hand and
he shared with the group how he had lost
his daughter to breast cancer he was
choked up with tears when he told us he
would give anything to turn back the
clock and be more present in her life he
hadn’t been present not until she got
sick over and over again he apologized
to that group I’m sorry for being so
emotional
he looked embarrassed and ashamed the
second unspoken understanding if you’re
hurting don’t let it show it’s tradition
in our office for mothers to bring their
new babies in for everyone to do and all
over them one afternoon a woman who had
been out on maternity leave brought her
baby and to meet everyone I told her how
beautiful her baby was I even held her
and then when she left I rushed into my
office I shut the door and I started to
sob I ache inside when I see a baby I’ve
had two miscarriages and I feel flooded
with grief when I see them we all
understand that if we have to cry we
should go outside or into a bathroom
stall or behind a shut and locked door
to pull ourselves together and so I’ve
learned to deal with my pain privately
so that I don’t make other people feel
uncomfortable these are just some of the
unspoken under
standings we work by they imply that
it’s fine to come to work as an employee
but it’s shameful and it’s awkward to
come to work as a human being I believe
we pay a huge price for creating work
environments that don’t allow for
humanity we take the humanity out of
business
we need more humanity and business not
less and so tonight I will make the case
for bringing humans back to work are we
connected to each other well you would
think so after all we instantly connect
24 hours a day seven days a week and so
you might be surprised to learn we’re
actually disconnected from each other
and the evidence is everywhere for
example today it’s acceptable to tell
someone off in an email if you want to
end a relationship no need to have a
conversation when you can send a text
message work weeks are filled with
working lunches and now more than ever
people are working alone and in virtual
environments these behaviors are
symptoms of disconnection which can lead
to some serious health problems
according to the research 5 Steve Cole
he found that the lack of social
connection can be more detrimental to
our overall health than obesity smoking
or high blood pressure
Matthew Lieberman in his book social why
our brains are wired to connect says
that the importance of social connection
is so big that when we feel rejection or
other social pain it registers in our
brains as physical pain but the benefits
of social connection there’s so many of
them it’s widely believed that it
strengthens our immune system and keeps
us healthier and that social connection
is the key to productive relationships
and successful work environments I find
this research so compelling that at our
company we’ve begun architecting a
program called the whole life Academy
the purpose of this program is to reduce
our healthcare spending but our
intention is to do that in a very unique
way to develop more whole and more
connected employees over the next year
it’s our intention for example to roll
out tools or education or resources to
help employees understand more about
their health and well-being to be more
connected to their friends and families
to love more deeply and we believe our
efforts will be worth it now for a
moment please picture yourself at work
do you work alone in a virtual
environment do you work in a real office
with real people if you work alone in a
virtual environment you might need to
use your imagination here since you’re
only co-workers potentially Alexa now
consider these questions are we are are
you connected enough to the people
around you to know when they need a
little help are you connected enough to
the people around you to ask for a
little help when you need it and third
are you cultivating work environments
that allow for strong connection don’t
worry we’re gonna take a look at its
each of these questions the first are
you connected enough to the people
around you to know when they need a
little help so here’s a situation that
came up for me one one one morning a
woman who works on my team was rushing
back and forth in front of my office to
the restroom now I know from personal
experience how miserable this sort of
thing can be when it happens at work and
so I made the decision at first to
ignore it so I wouldn’t embarrass her
after a fifth or sixth trip by I decided
I had two choices one I could get the
heck out of the way
when she went barreling by or two I
could say something and so I decided to
say something now I’m not a doctor or
trained in anything related to digestive
issues but what I do know is that stress
can wreak havoc on your body and so I
asked her are you feeling stressed or
overwhelmed today and she emphatically
nodded yes so I brought her in an office
I closed the door I turned off the
lights and I let her through a series of
breathing exercises I put my hands on
her shoulders I breathed with her to
calming down it only took a few minutes
out of my day to be present with her an
hour later she reported feeling great
her stomach had settled down now can you
imagine doing that for someone you work
with
if you can’t why not is it because you
don’t have the time or you don’t know
how to help or is it because you know
that touching at work is not accept not
okay as the head of HR you think I’d be
the first person to tell you that
touching at work is a no-no listen the
truth is it’s easy to rationalize why
it’s okay to ignore a co-worker in
distress because connecting takes
conscious effort that brings us to the
second question are you connected enough
to the people around you to ask for help
when you need it about a year ago a man
who works for our company told a group
of us that his his son had been addicted
to drugs through tears he was choked up
he told us how he couldn’t believe it
happened in front of his eyes how scared
he was and then he went on to share his
concern that there were young people in
our work family who were similarly
addicted he said if you see these signs
call me I’ll help you we have to help
these people fast forward to a few
months ago a family member of mine who
had been showing signs of drug abuse
admitted to being addicted do you
who I called late on a Friday night and
tears that guy who told the story he
told me was okay to be scared he gave me
some good advice he let me cry I will
never forget the compassion that he
showed me and there are other people in
my work family who have done the same
and you can bet that their willingness
to connect has made me more loyal to my
job that brings us to the third question
are you cultivating work environments
that allow for strong connections I
believe we have to shift our mindsets if
we’re going to bring connection into the
workplace work and life balance it’s no
longer a thing it’s all just life and we
have to live it and encourage our
co-workers to do the same earlier this
spring a man who works on my team asked
me if he could leave for a few hours the
next day to go to his son’s pre-school
graduation so I asked him well what time
is the graduation and he said 10:30 in
the morning so I just suggested why
don’t you go to the graduation and come
to work afterward and he looked at me
like I was sort of insane to suggest
that he not come to work for one hour
before the ceremony how do we bring
humans back to work well it starts by
being the kinds of leaders who tell a
guy like that to take his kid out for a
special breakfast instead of rushing to
an office that’s humanity in business
it’s a simple shift in our thinking that
empowers people to feel whole and feel
connected regardless of whether it’s
before during or after business hours
you bring humanity in business when you
ask people how they’re doing and you
actually listen to what they say start
asking your colleagues questions that
invite them to tell you about their
lives outside of work
the more you’re listening the more
people are going to tell you and what
you learn will help you coach them to
better and better work outcomes
maybe you find out that a woman loves
photography and so she takes pictures at
your next work event you save money and
she gets recognition maybe you find out
that a man lost his father to heart
disease and so he creates the company’s
team for the next American Heart
Association’s 5k in the process of
building connections you leverage skills
you didn’t know existed you improve your
brand and employee loyalty you increase
employees engagement and you drive
results early in 2016 I started a yoga
teacher training program during the
first weekend of a sixth weekend program
we were in a yoga session that required
us to take some time for a long quiet
meditation during which we were told to
give ourselves loving-kindness well I
quickly learned I did not know how to be
quiet or connected I also learned that I
did not know how to be kind or
compassionate to myself and so I started
on the path to becoming a new kind of
person during the journey I met with a
gal on my work team who had been working
with me for a few years
normal weekly meeting and she made a
comment about how much more approachable
and kinder I was than I used to be and
so I said why don’t you tell me a little
bit more about what you mean and she
said well you are always so busy running
from here to there on the phone and
meetings being all important that you
were actually never really all that nice
that conversation told me I was on the
right path I needed to bring my work and
my life together compassion and kindness
toward myself and others letting go of
ego embracing vulnerability softening
allowing ourselves to feel
these aren’t just things that belong on
a yoga mat they belong everywhere all
the time regardless of what time of day
it is or where you work or where you
come from or what kind of work you do
they are the key to being human and
they’re what makes us whole and so I
continue on my journey to bring humans
back to work every day I try to ask
myself what did i do today to help
someone else live a more connected a
more full life and so I’m gonna leave
you with these two questions tomorrow
morning when you get up and you go to
your job how are you going to connect
with someone how are you going to help
bring humans back to work thank you
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: