do you recognize the brand they’re red
bags which nowadays are very hip but in
1962 not so much that was the only
choice for guys in 62 for women they
have those cat eye glasses a couple of
colors but that was it yeah and and I
hate to wear them I just I mean you see
my mother dressed me so I had an itch
shirt polyester pants hush puppies you
add the ray-bans that’s pretty much
head-to-toe birth control and a woman is
not going to get anywhere near you
dressed like that
so but I mean my I am terribly
nearsighted my entire family I thought
if we ever did ancestry.com it would
come back that we were all descended
from a tribe of people that lived on the
island of myopia which by the way was
conquered over and over because the
native fiberlite population never saw
the enemy coming my teacher Miss dark as
my mother would say in her infinite
wisdom decided the best thing to do was
desensitize the entire class to my
glasses so she hadn’t come to the front
room face away from the class put on my
glasses turned back to the class she
peers down she goes say you look
intelligent it’s the first joke I ever
told it wasn’t ad-lib I said yes that
would explain all the laughter she
excused itself to go to the teachers
lounge
coughing issue went years later I saw
her in the wind Dixie grocery store she
was Frank you have any idea why I went
to the teachers lounge I got I have no
idea she goes because that was the
funniest thing a child ever said to me I
was afraid if I laughed in your face
you’d just be crushed I would crush your
spirit so fourth grade when I was in
fourth grade 1962 thank God there was no
Ritalin
no because if there had been being the
class clown
they would have drugged me into a stupor
I would have been the entire day face
down on my desk
you know passed out I pulled my own
saliva like the Lord they didn’t have
they didn’t have that they didn’t have
this either by the way still be familiar
STEM science technology engineering
mathematics
yeah I mean I can do all these things
but if that had been the curriculum and
I was in school I
wished I was facedown on my desk passed
out of bullying I was like yeah cuz I’m
this kind of guy science technology
engineering math arts humanities that
that’s made that that I can do you guys
know I have a little dirty dirty little
secrets about stem do you know this they
test all of these 15 year olds in the
world once year on those four
competencies and then they compare test
scores country to country and the United
States everybody’s all upset we always
finish like 26 27 out of 37
industrialized nations so the Institute
of this stem curriculum well here’s a
dirty little secret the countries that
beat us year in and year out
don’t use the stem curriculum yeah you
know what they do to get higher test
scores this is crazy
they train their teachers better and
they pay them better the average
starting salary in those countries where
a teacher is the same as the average
starting salary for an engineer yeah and
they get better results go figure
so I but I’m an arts and humanities guy
so I’m a little bit prejudiced those the
secrets has to show me this is what we
have not yet not them we had Sussman
it was science English social studies
math arts humanities there’s a darn good
thing with arts because when I got to
high school I took three years of drama
no arts no drama took three years of
drama and that’s why I am a comedian
today that’s why I’m the mental health
comedian today not because I was good at
drama ironically because my teacher Miss
Paulette Dyson thought I was horrible at
drama well it’s her job to cast all the
productions and I auditioned for every
play for three years
no speaking parts yeah I’m by the spring
my I see you here I’m thinking I believe
there’s a pattern here so you know what
I did I thought to myself buddy stand-up
comedy I can write direct star and
produce my own little production every
night
I’ll show them so I did that’s me senior
talent show Broughton senior high school
Raleigh North Carolina first person ever
do stand-up on that stage at the talent
show now what I don’t know is why I’m
but as my mother would say be that as it
may I won
so ran home told my mama I’m gonna be a
stand-up comedian and my mother who
smoked three packs a day said no no son
you going to college first after college
and you graduate you can be a goat
herder for all I care
let me tell you something you gonna be a
goat herder with a degree which I went
to UNC Chapel Hill got a liberal arts
degree didn’t hurt me none married my
high school sweetheart big mistake
yeah well she’s a wonderful woman we
just had nothing in common but you know
what they say I’m sure you guys heard
this opposites attract yep she was
yeah she she want me to go in the
insurance business which I was just
thrilled to do but I did and it turned
out to be a good break because I went
into the business in Raleigh North
Carolina my all talk to him they
transferred me almost immediately a San
Diego California where they have a
comedy store to this day baby beginning
to the end of my my insurance career
because once I set foot on stage at the
Comedy Store I heard a voice in my head
say I’m home yeah and and and the I did
five minutes and rocked it my first time
well it was five minutes I’ve written
about moving from North Carolina to
California you know fish-out-of-water
kind of a thing culture shock my
favorite bit the one I closed with was
this I’ve never seen guacamole hell I
grew up in North Carolina I’ve never
even seen an avocado so I’m at a
cocktail party I pick up a chip I’m
headed for the Bowl I look down just in
time to see what appears to be a large
supply of green spackle
so I’m hovering and the hostess comes
over and goes up Oh Frank you’re from
North Carolina right oh I bet you’ve
never seen that
that’s guacamole it’s good I said yeah
but it was the first time somebody ate
it I just laughs never looked back
that was April of 1990 no April of 1983
by December 1984 I had one the funniest
person in San Diego contest The Improv
and I had ten weeks of comedy booked on
the road and let’s see yeah that’s me
when I won the contest
had ten weeks comedy booked on the road
and I said to my girlfriend now my wife
and yes she’s way too good-looking for
me I know that I said too windy I’m
going on the road be a stand-up Korea
professional you want come walk and
inexplicably she said yes so we gave him
a job put everything in storage we
couldn’t fit into my wait for it dodge
Colt and hit the road we hold the record
she and I for the longest non-stop
comedy club road trip ever
2629 nights in a row non-stop yeah
comedy clubs the Cotton Club Hotel the
hotel work with some amazing people rose
from jail in over 20 years extremely
nice guy I opened up for Kevin James yes
and Adam Sandler opened up for Adam
Sandler dude man that was a nightmare
well picture this ladies up on one night
only from certain alive Adam center but
before that a guy you don’t know telling
jokes you shocked get off the stage 30
minutes of that Ellen DeGeneres open for
her in San Diego Jeff Foxworthy Larry
the Cable Guy that’s funny I don’t care
who you are Seinfeld worked with him and
Charlie goodnight in Raleigh before he
was Jerry Seinfeld Jim Carrey he used to
do just impressions you guys know that
strictly impressions before doing
stand-up comedy and then of course
acting after that Jon Stewart also
worked with him Charlie good nights in
Raleigh Robin lamps I know I’m sad to
say I do believe I do believe he he
battled bipolar and that’s why he’s no
longer with
today reason that came off a row is when
we’re at a radio station in Raleigh
North Carolina in 1993 they wanted me
co-host a morning show on a rock station
so I took the job part of the job is
being a MC and hosted the Charlie good
night’s comedy club in Raleigh and there
were three comics who were starting
right then who have gone on to much
bigger and better things
midnight recognized this guy’s name is
Jon REEP he was a Hemi guy he was in
Rodney’s short-lived sitcom of it to
recognize her that’s relative surly from
Parks and Rec and she’s now in this new
show called good girls where she’s
co-starring she’s done very well and now
I I’m almost certain you recognize this
guy that can yeah I was in Raleigh he
was going to Duke Medical School in the
daytime hanging up comedy club at night
so yep so my job at the radio station
lasted April 93 in July 94 and I got
fired cuz there’s two kinds of people in
radio people have been fired people are
gonna be fun just the nature of the
beast and my plan had always been to go
back on the road do stand-up in clubs
where the problem was the club scene was
fading the good news was I am relatively
clean when it comes to comedy so I could
make the shift from the bar room to the
boardroom from club comedy to corporate
comedy the best news is I discovered the
corporate comedy plays a whole lot
better yeah you can make as much in one
night on a corporate gig when I started
in corporate then I can make in a week
at a comedy club well because the
meeting planners they’re not so
concerned that you are funny they just
wanna make sure you’re clean and don’t
offend anybody and they’re willing to
pay a lot of money for so by the time my
corporate comedy career came to an end
peaked right before the recession
foreshadowing I was making three times
what I’m making a week at a comedy club
doing corporate calendar next slide is I
also opened up for Jamie Dimon and
JPMorgan Chase but that’s another story
for another TED talk yeah a great guy
and a great sense of humor by the way so
corporate comedy was going really well
until the recession then the bottom
dropped down stock market the bottom
dropped out of the corporate comedy
market and my income failed 80%
overnight
my wife and I lost everything we worked
for for 25
years in a chapter 7 bankruptcy and I
was depressed and suicidal and I didn’t
tell you this but I inherited three
things from my mother I adhered the
sense of humor the cholesterol of the
average deep fat fryer and something
called generational depression and
suicide
you had my grandmother die by suicide my
great-aunt died by suicide and I came
very close in 2010 to take him on a life
well I you know I’ve been depressed off
and on all my life and and I’ve been
depressed some of the best times in my
life and always worried what’s gonna
happen if I’m depressed the worst time
in my life and I found out I had an itch
on the roof of my mouth I can only
scratch with the front side on my
nickel-plated 38 yeah spoiler alert
didn’t pull the trigger
yeah I’ve got a friend of mine here
named Glenn Freedman who came to see me
as another speaker when I said that he
heard me say that he goes how come he
didn’t pull the trigger
I said Glenn could you try to sound a
little less disappointed is it well I
have two mental illnesses my mom gave me
what’s called major depressive disorder
depression the other one’s called
chronic suicidality which means for me
the option of suicide is always on the
menu for problems large and small I’m
giving example last year my car broke
down
I had three thoughts unbidden get it
fixed my new and rocky just killed
myself
that is chronic suicidality and I’ll bet
you there’s somebody in this room right
now who just heard me say that who
thought they were the only person on the
on the planet who thought that way and
they probably come up to me after she’ll
go man that’s just me no there’s an
important is lots of us so good news is
of course I didn’t pull the trigger
best news was I at 52 years old I
finally realized I have a way to do you
know perform and make a difference
because every year the United States
44,000 people die by suicide now the
good news is you can do something about
that you can make a difference you can
save a life and you can do it by doing
something as simple as starting a
conversation on it make sure I got the
that’s Judy’s book yeah hang on yeah
this by the way Judy Carter’s book it’s
held a message of you turning your life
into a moneymaker
speaking career yeah it was Judy Judy’s
book that made me realize that my
depression major depressive disorder and
chronic suicidality was something that
people would want to hear about you know
message and stress is what people want
to hear about and then how you overcame
it so I have to thank Judy for that you
could do something about it you can make
a difference you can save a life and you
can do it by doing something as simple
as starting a conversation you can do it
in person you can do know the phone you
get it on Facebook and I’ll let my new
BFF Renee LeBeau I tell you about that
hey Frank I didn’t tell you that you
were the reason I decided to stick
around there you were putting a face to
what I was feeling
I no longer felt alone in unseen it was
your Facebook post on suicide I felt
hopeful for the first time in two years
you gave me the courage to stay and not
just survive but to dream again now that
I’ve watched your TED talk I know that
there are no accidents we were meant to
me and I am grateful that you not only
saved my life with your posts but you
are now my mentor I bet you didn’t know
you signed on for that you have my
never-ending respect for the work that
you are doing to bring awareness and
understanding to our disease by the way
you made me cry big love thank you I the
question always comes up how do you
start the conversation and I I do it
every week I earlier this week I spoke
at Kansas Wesleyan University on college
suicide prevention the reason is every
year in this country 24,000 college
students attempt suicide that stadium
holds 24,000 people to give you an idea
with 24,000 people
looks like 1,100 in their lives that’s
three a day every day again you can do
something about that you can save a life
you can make a difference and you can do
it by something as simple as starting a
conversation now the question always
comes up how do you start the
conversation well here’s the good news
I’ve discovered that the mere mention of
the words depression into
that out loud elicits the most amazing
responses for people some of whom I’ve
just met I do comedy on Chrome chips
this is the printed name and I was in
the lead oboe thing one morning couldn’t
find a place to sit look over this woman
and table for two empty chair I nod she
point I said so I sit down she looks up
she goes hey are you the comedian I said
hey did you enjoy the comedy show she
goes yes I did I said then I’m the
comedian she goes what would you have
said if I told you that hey to the show
I’m a plumber from Des Moines she goes
it screws tell me all you do I said no
I’m a public speaker i I just nail down
a tent talk she does I love the TED talk
what stop it I knew what was coming I
said to her depression and suicide and
started to count down in my head three
two one she says you know I tried to
kill myself twice we just met yeah she
was first time in college not that
serious second time far more serious I
graduated college I graduated medical
school I had the knowledge had the
equipment she said I had the IV started
in my ankle had the suicide cocktail in
one hand the syringe and the other
getting read and loaded up phone rings
do I pick it up she picks it up her 13
year old son
she’s I don’t know if he had a
premonition I heard something in my
voice but he said mom don’t do anything
so she did she did not give up on the
idea of suicide she decided not to do it
that day but she was worried that he
would realize he spoke to her right
before she did would always feel guilty
wasn’t there something he could have
said or done to stop her from suicide
well the good news is because eight out
of ten people are ambivalent who are
kind of linked suicide there are things
you can say there are things you can do
we’ll cover those it’s called mental
health first aid you go to mental health
first aid dialogue there classes all
over the place it’s like 20 bucks
eight-hour classes throw in pizza and
you learn about depression and suicide
you know not only for self harm so forth
and so on but let me give your first
lesson today because people ask me how
do you know if somebody’s depressed okay
here’s some signs eat so much candy
sleep too much can’t sleep has
difficulty getting up in the morning to
get to a morning class or to work
rallies in the afternoon less their
personal hygiene go then the question
comes up what do you say let’s talk
about you
don’t say to somebody you believe is
depressed pull yourself up by your
bootstraps turn that frown upside down
everybody gets depressed now and then
have you tried fish oil honest to God I
heard that here’s what you do say if you
believe they’re depressed I am here for
you and me and I know that you are not
lazy crazier self-absorbed I know that
depression is a mental illness here’s
the good news with time and treatment
things will get better I will take the
time and mean it I’ll help you get the
treatment and mean it and here’s the
tough one this is the one everybody
stumbles over myself included you need
to ask them how are you having thoughts
of suicide there’s a school of thought
you should never mention the S word
suicide in front of somebody who’s
depressed and as a comedian I love the
reasoning it might give them the idea
suicide what a great idea why didn’t I
think of that trust me
it’s crossed their mind let’s talk about
suicide how do you know somebody is –
assignment well they talk a great deal
about death or dying they googled death
or dying it appears there’s a theme in
their artwork or their writing they give
away their prized possessions because
they want to make sure when they’re gone
those possessions go to the people they
want them to go to they’re collecting
the means to die by suicide whether it’s
buying a gun or stockpiling medications
and here’s a counterintuitive one and
this is really dangerous they’re
depressed depressed depressed in an off
son for no apparent reason happy
probably have chosen time place method
they know the pain they’re in is finite
and that by the way with suicide this is
the issue people say to me I can’t
believe he or she wanted to die chances
are they did not want to die I did not
want to die I just wanted to end the
pain so what do you say to somebody who
is you believe it’s suicide but you
don’t say you’re just looking for
attention you’re being melodramatic
nobody you talked about it never does it
here’s what you do say do you have a
plan if they have a plan what is your
plan if they’re depressing suicidal and
having thoughts of suicide have a plan
that is detailed do not leave them alone
if you have to go try to find somebody
to take your place your job is a mental
health first responder is to get them on
the phone with the Suicide Prevention
lifeline or texting text to word hi H I
have seven four one seven four one if
they will not pick up the phone and call
the suicide prevention
line or lifeline you pick up the phone
call the Suicide Prevention lifeline the
volunteer will do their best to talk the
phone into the hand of the person who is
in crisis now the question comes up when
do you call the cops if there are
dangerous to themself immediate danger
to themselves or others you have to call
the police again two out of ten people
who are having thoughts of suicide are
bound to determine we can’t save
everybody they’re going to die the good
news is eight out of 10 people who are
contemplating suicide you can do
something about that you can make a
difference you can save a life and you
can do it by doing something as simple
that’s what we’re doing right here and
that’s starting a conversation thank you
very much [Applause]