[Music]
hello my name is such and soon I’ll be a
high school graduate sounds like a
typical event but for me graduates my
class means I’m achieving what two years
ago seemed impossible I’m in my third
year of recovery from a traumatic brain
injury in a process that has no
predictable endpoint I’ve missed half of
high school and take a gap year next
year dispute the recovery process
because I do not want to miss one minute
of college I took a couple of risks in
my recovery over this past year in the
fall my uncle’s wedding put me back in
my basement i slaved in the dark for
three weeks but for my school
semi-formal this past February I only
spent a week back in that basement yet
at my worst I spent seven to eight
months in the dark alone trying to heal
my brain today I’m a survivor I know the
risks I face when I spend time at loud
bright events like this one but I come
back quickly from setbacks as I heal Oh
in time the basement means darkness no
TV no cell phones no computer no books
no learning no social media no friends
total isolation I’m here to share my
story for direct-hit propelled me to the
field I was at my peak as an athlete my
sophomore year of high school second
year on varsity soccer and deep into my
club lacrosse season that picture was
taken two years ago then I became this I
get your focus what do you want to do
you want to say right on left armours
you want to do like short
alright ready three times say it
left left left arm remember don’t kill
yourself with your finger look at the
spot and think about it
but looks like right right
right round left okay now go slow too
slowly
right right right on okay take a break
at my worst I had a headache I felt like
a jackhammer against my skull for nearly
a year
my right leg dragged her swayed outwards
when I tried to walk I couldn’t hold a
glass of water in my right hand my neck
arms shoulders and legs shook
uncontrollably other tremors the ringing
in my ears was so much the noise a truck
makes backing up non-stop I stuttered so
badly there took me minutes to complete
a sentence if I walk down the hall the
whole hall would spin to the right of
the singing floor kept moving I was
caught in a tornado I had constant
nausea to drive in the car I had supped
towels on the windows to block up the
stimulation all my head pounded the
world spun and I tried not to vomit I
had trouble falling asleep you could
never stay asleep have you ever been in
a place where every aspect of your life
seems to be aligning then suddenly and
without warning everything changes for
me that was my injury more specifically
my traumatic brain injury so what does
that entail clinically it means I have
suffered an external physical force to
my head that disrupted the functioning
of my brain specifically it means that
on a crips crisp sunny day in September
2014 I was shocked by the soccer ball
during a direct kick just ten yards away
on the right side of my head right
between my eye in my ear the force of
the impact was so severe that my head
jolted back my neck twisted
involuntarily to the left and to my body
slammed
head first onto the turf field
metaphorically it means that was the
moment my life became segmented its
before and after suffering a traumatic
brain injury literally it means I need
to have these note cards help guide me
through this presentation like the 69%
of student athletes who neglect to
report possible concussion symptoms and
the growing breath of studies
highlighting the risk post athletes who
continue to play with head injuries when
I became severely injured I do not want
to accept what I knew was a significant
I was aware my brain and body we’re not
functioning correctly long before the
symptoms became visible to others but I
was scared scared I lose my position on
the team scared if I was honest I would
never play sports again scared that I
couldn’t understand what was going on in
school anymore scared because it’s good
that I had no idea who the person
everyone in my life was expecting me to
be because I couldn’t remember her
scared because life for everyone else
appeared to be normal but I had no idea
what was normal anymore to make matters
worse as a teenager the fact that it
seemed self-absorbed mask the memory
loss and processing gaps unlike a broken
bone an injury to the brain is easier to
cover up because the injury was unseen
that was until I began experiencing
physical symptoms tremors and stuttered
speech with the first visual signs of
the slow physical deterioration and
looking back the physical symptoms ended
up saving me because that’s my parents
knew this was more than just a
concussion eventually the fog eNOS got
so bad that I was no longer aware of how
different I felt I was at the point that
survival meant isolation free for life
outside my home free from a sense of
normalcy this is because at first the
doctors didn’t know how to diagnose my
injury and some believed I was
exaggerating my symptoms the thought was
it’s just going to take time it took ten
months before is able to find the doctor
could identified the complexity of my
injury and begin proper treatment
because a brain injury is unseen is
difficult for those who knew me before
to piece together what has happened in
many ways I saw the fear of reality in
their eyes that life is both precious
and unpredictable and that scared them
today I still have days my brain is
foggy and in super slow motion I know
that is my brain telling me I’ve
overused it and it needs a break but
frankly I get frustrated because it
seems to always happen at the worst time
recovering for my injury required me to
focus solely on the needs of my brain
and body and now that the fizz
cool aspects of recovery are resolving
I’m attempting to deal with the
emotional and social aspects of recovery
for a long time I struggled with
understanding why did this happen to me
wondering if everything happens for a
reason then what was the reason behind
this but I realized there was never
going to be a reason that sufficed
overcoming my circumstances required me
to look outside of myself as well I’m
reminded that facing adversity is human
it is one way we are more in common than
we are different I am now able to
process how my injury affected my family
and friends in comprehend that the
change in my life caused a shift in
there as well
I learned a number lessons over the last
two years being vulnerable enough to ask
for help
requires strength the ability to forgive
those who mistreated me requires
understanding their ignorance and the
time required to heal is rooted in
patience my physical rehabilitation is
almost complete and I am adapting to
life as a brain injury survivor this
requires new terminology such as post
traumatic brain injury syndrome but most
importantly the aftermath requires me to
understand the seasons of change autumn
is the season of that catastrophic fall
and represents the time of year that
ended my normal is the time immediately
after the adversity when life appears to
be falling down like the leaves
releasing from the oak trees in New
England it is the moment fear attempts
to take control the fear I experienced
after the injury stemmed from the
unknown I don’t know what was happening
to me but I knew I was never going to be
the athlete student friend sister or
daughter that I used to be and I could
only hope that others would accept the
post-injury version of me
winter represents the period of
inadequacy the recognition of persuasive
limitations utter darkness blind doctors
I sure go through months of
unenlightened care that included doctors
who cannot pinpoint my diagnosis when I
wasn’t struggling with blind doctors I
was sunk in my basement
a literal period of isolation because
recovery required protecting my brain
from any type of simulation
the isolation lack of answers left me
frustrated and confused I had a choice
succumb to the challenges or overcome by
embracing the challenges as an
opportunity to grow spring represents a
time of growth after what feels like a
step backward during winter this period
feels like two steps forward it’s the
point Hope enters and begins to balance
out the challenges this was the semester
I rented school full-time as a junior I
was so excited finally getting life back
on track however it was a lot harder
than I thought it would be
it was certainly slow moving growth
determined to progress I do not live on
how difficult this transition was for me
seeing and hearing my friends live their
lives made me frustrated and experienced
a new type of isolation this is where I
learned the tough lesson overcoming
adversity is a marathon not a sprint I
realized you cannot rush the blooming
process of growth summer represents
light in a period of enlightenment after
the growing pains of spring it was
summer when I finally found a care team
who could diagnose the complexities of
my brain injury and who developed a
personalized rehabilitation plan this
season was when I could see and feel the
results of my hard work paying off to
speak without stuttering walk unassisted
into sleep through the night the summer
of 2016
brought the ability to enjoy pleasure
reading attend more social events with
friends and the realization after
everything I’d been through that was
entering my senior year of my class as I
prepared for graduation in life after
high school
I hope that this traumatic injury is the
most significant hardship by face for a
very long time but I know I will
continue to face challenges relate to
the injury as well as new challenges
take the adversity in stride like the
seasons of change no matter the
adversity seasons of change cycle is a
reminder of the ebbs and flow in life
some days they bring all four seasons in
a 24-hour period but other times the
seasons will last for years no matter
the issue or length of time diversity is
present everyone encounters fall in
winter and yet
the opportunities of spring and summer
always follow
thank you
you
hello my name is such and soon I’ll be a
high school graduate sounds like a
typical event but for me graduates my
class means I’m achieving what two years
ago seemed impossible I’m in my third
year of recovery from a traumatic brain
injury in a process that has no
predictable endpoint I’ve missed half of
high school and take a gap year next
year dispute the recovery process
because I do not want to miss one minute
of college I took a couple of risks in
my recovery over this past year in the
fall my uncle’s wedding put me back in
my basement i slaved in the dark for
three weeks but for my school
semi-formal this past February I only
spent a week back in that basement yet
at my worst I spent seven to eight
months in the dark alone trying to heal
my brain today I’m a survivor I know the
risks I face when I spend time at loud
bright events like this one but I come
back quickly from setbacks as I heal Oh
in time the basement means darkness no
TV no cell phones no computer no books
no learning no social media no friends
total isolation I’m here to share my
story for direct-hit propelled me to the
field I was at my peak as an athlete my
sophomore year of high school second
year on varsity soccer and deep into my
club lacrosse season that picture was
taken two years ago then I became this I
get your focus what do you want to do
you want to say right on left armours
you want to do like short
alright ready three times say it
left left left arm remember don’t kill
yourself with your finger look at the
spot and think about it
but looks like right right
right round left okay now go slow too
slowly
right right right on okay take a break
at my worst I had a headache I felt like
a jackhammer against my skull for nearly
a year
my right leg dragged her swayed outwards
when I tried to walk I couldn’t hold a
glass of water in my right hand my neck
arms shoulders and legs shook
uncontrollably other tremors the ringing
in my ears was so much the noise a truck
makes backing up non-stop I stuttered so
badly there took me minutes to complete
a sentence if I walk down the hall the
whole hall would spin to the right of
the singing floor kept moving I was
caught in a tornado I had constant
nausea to drive in the car I had supped
towels on the windows to block up the
stimulation all my head pounded the
world spun and I tried not to vomit I
had trouble falling asleep you could
never stay asleep have you ever been in
a place where every aspect of your life
seems to be aligning then suddenly and
without warning everything changes for
me that was my injury more specifically
my traumatic brain injury so what does
that entail clinically it means I have
suffered an external physical force to
my head that disrupted the functioning
of my brain specifically it means that
on a crips crisp sunny day in September
2014 I was shocked by the soccer ball
during a direct kick just ten yards away
on the right side of my head right
between my eye in my ear the force of
the impact was so severe that my head
jolted back my neck twisted
involuntarily to the left and to my body
slammed
head first onto the turf field
metaphorically it means that was the
moment my life became segmented its
before and after suffering a traumatic
brain injury literally it means I need
to have these note cards help guide me
through this presentation like the 69%
of student athletes who neglect to
report possible concussion symptoms and
the growing breath of studies
highlighting the risk post athletes who
continue to play with head injuries when
I became severely injured I do not want
to accept what I knew was a significant
I was aware my brain and body we’re not
functioning correctly long before the
symptoms became visible to others but I
was scared scared I lose my position on
the team scared if I was honest I would
never play sports again scared that I
couldn’t understand what was going on in
school anymore scared because it’s good
that I had no idea who the person
everyone in my life was expecting me to
be because I couldn’t remember her
scared because life for everyone else
appeared to be normal but I had no idea
what was normal anymore to make matters
worse as a teenager the fact that it
seemed self-absorbed mask the memory
loss and processing gaps unlike a broken
bone an injury to the brain is easier to
cover up because the injury was unseen
that was until I began experiencing
physical symptoms tremors and stuttered
speech with the first visual signs of
the slow physical deterioration and
looking back the physical symptoms ended
up saving me because that’s my parents
knew this was more than just a
concussion eventually the fog eNOS got
so bad that I was no longer aware of how
different I felt I was at the point that
survival meant isolation free for life
outside my home free from a sense of
normalcy this is because at first the
doctors didn’t know how to diagnose my
injury and some believed I was
exaggerating my symptoms the thought was
it’s just going to take time it took ten
months before is able to find the doctor
could identified the complexity of my
injury and begin proper treatment
because a brain injury is unseen is
difficult for those who knew me before
to piece together what has happened in
many ways I saw the fear of reality in
their eyes that life is both precious
and unpredictable and that scared them
today I still have days my brain is
foggy and in super slow motion I know
that is my brain telling me I’ve
overused it and it needs a break but
frankly I get frustrated because it
seems to always happen at the worst time
recovering for my injury required me to
focus solely on the needs of my brain
and body and now that the fizz
cool aspects of recovery are resolving
I’m attempting to deal with the
emotional and social aspects of recovery
for a long time I struggled with
understanding why did this happen to me
wondering if everything happens for a
reason then what was the reason behind
this but I realized there was never
going to be a reason that sufficed
overcoming my circumstances required me
to look outside of myself as well I’m
reminded that facing adversity is human
it is one way we are more in common than
we are different I am now able to
process how my injury affected my family
and friends in comprehend that the
change in my life caused a shift in
there as well
I learned a number lessons over the last
two years being vulnerable enough to ask
for help
requires strength the ability to forgive
those who mistreated me requires
understanding their ignorance and the
time required to heal is rooted in
patience my physical rehabilitation is
almost complete and I am adapting to
life as a brain injury survivor this
requires new terminology such as post
traumatic brain injury syndrome but most
importantly the aftermath requires me to
understand the seasons of change autumn
is the season of that catastrophic fall
and represents the time of year that
ended my normal is the time immediately
after the adversity when life appears to
be falling down like the leaves
releasing from the oak trees in New
England it is the moment fear attempts
to take control the fear I experienced
after the injury stemmed from the
unknown I don’t know what was happening
to me but I knew I was never going to be
the athlete student friend sister or
daughter that I used to be and I could
only hope that others would accept the
post-injury version of me
winter represents the period of
inadequacy the recognition of persuasive
limitations utter darkness blind doctors
I sure go through months of
unenlightened care that included doctors
who cannot pinpoint my diagnosis when I
wasn’t struggling with blind doctors I
was sunk in my basement
a literal period of isolation because
recovery required protecting my brain
from any type of simulation
the isolation lack of answers left me
frustrated and confused I had a choice
succumb to the challenges or overcome by
embracing the challenges as an
opportunity to grow spring represents a
time of growth after what feels like a
step backward during winter this period
feels like two steps forward it’s the
point Hope enters and begins to balance
out the challenges this was the semester
I rented school full-time as a junior I
was so excited finally getting life back
on track however it was a lot harder
than I thought it would be
it was certainly slow moving growth
determined to progress I do not live on
how difficult this transition was for me
seeing and hearing my friends live their
lives made me frustrated and experienced
a new type of isolation this is where I
learned the tough lesson overcoming
adversity is a marathon not a sprint I
realized you cannot rush the blooming
process of growth summer represents
light in a period of enlightenment after
the growing pains of spring it was
summer when I finally found a care team
who could diagnose the complexities of
my brain injury and who developed a
personalized rehabilitation plan this
season was when I could see and feel the
results of my hard work paying off to
speak without stuttering walk unassisted
into sleep through the night the summer
of 2016
brought the ability to enjoy pleasure
reading attend more social events with
friends and the realization after
everything I’d been through that was
entering my senior year of my class as I
prepared for graduation in life after
high school
I hope that this traumatic injury is the
most significant hardship by face for a
very long time but I know I will
continue to face challenges relate to
the injury as well as new challenges
take the adversity in stride like the
seasons of change no matter the
adversity seasons of change cycle is a
reminder of the ebbs and flow in life
some days they bring all four seasons in
a 24-hour period but other times the
seasons will last for years no matter
the issue or length of time diversity is
present everyone encounters fall in
winter and yet
the opportunities of spring and summer
always follow
thank you
you
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