when I was a child I had many ambitions
I wanted to be a doctor a lawyer an
engineer I even wanted to be an air
stewardess but as I grew older as it
happens to most people in their teenage
years these ambitions slowly faded and
when the time actually came for me to
decide on my career pathway my parents
suggested medicine I did see it coming
seeing that my father is a doctor
himself but to be honest I was not
really up for it because I saw the long
hours my dad worked and how he used to
disappear from church service and family
gatherings to go to the hospital
that I thought to myself this is not the
kind of life I would want to sign up for
so I struggle with the idea of pursuing
medicine for quite a while until one day
when I had a heart-to-heart talk with my
mom she took my hands looked me in the
eye and said you know I think it’s good
to be a doctor it’s good to help others
but at that time I didn’t know what she
meant I mean isn’t that what doctors do
save lives
I could not visualize what the impact of
a doctor was what it meant for society
and for myself but at the age of 17 I
knew I was too young too naive and I
think I was too lazy to make any big
decisions on my own so long story short
I listened to my parents and as I went
to medical school in Russia years went
by
things were good until one early morning
in November 2008 when I received a text
from my dad the text read please arrange
to come home as soon as possible
mummy is not doing well now I knew my
mom had cancer she had undergone
radiotherapy two surgeries and was in
the midst of a chemotherapy I had just
spent my summer holidays at home a
couple of months back and she did seem
alright at that time I could not fathom
what I had just read being a medical
student I understood illnesses disease
progression but yet when it came to my
mum I suddenly could not comprehend how
things could change so drastically in
such a short period of time my mind was
a mess
I had exams coming up classes to go to
like just to attend nevertheless I
bought my tickets and I was on the next
flight home upon arriving at the
hospital my emotions were all over the
place my mom looked so thin so frail and
so pale that he broke my heart to see
her that way I am the eldest amongst
four siblings the youngest who was only
ten at that time so I tried to remain
composed but I think I was the most
emotional amongst all of them days went
by and we knew the time was near one day
when we were alone in the hospital room
she took my hands and looked at me with
her weary eyes and said please study
hard and be a good doctor so that you
can help others I wish
I could live long enough to see you
graduate get married and have kids I can
still hear those words very clearly in
my head until today she passed away on
the 14th of December 2008 I graduated
two years later in 2010 returned to
coaching and started my career as a
doctor but the second desk
I witnessed during my first few days as
an intern was a painful reminder of her
demise and I was close to tears it was
tough because she was the one who
encouraged me to do medicine from the
very beginning and now that she was gone
I felt like I had lost my sense of
direction but I told myself to suck it
up because this was going to be part of
my daily life as a doctor and the only
way I knew how to adapt was to build a
wall around me barricading myself from
all emotions and only choosing which
ones to let in the adapting went well
and I thought I was getting better at my
job but I kept having this sense of
emptiness in me being a doctor was
supposed to be rewarding yet it became
just a mundane job which paid my bills
yes of course
I helped others but the trade-offs were
my own emotions I had lost most of my
ability to empathize with others however
all of this changed when I was
introduced to a group of volunteers from
reach which stands for rural expeditions
assisting community health I found out
that they go on voluntary medical
mission trips to the interior villages
in Sarawak lightbar am providing primary
and preventative medical
and then took care not long after that
sister Cristina asked me if I would like
to join them on one of their trips at
that time I had heard about Baron before
but to me it was just another village in
the interior of Sarawak ours a little
hesitant at first I mean going up in
Kuching a comfortable city going to a
place I Barham seemed like a bizarre
idea to do and why would I go so far
just to treat patients when I’m already
doing that every day and if I were to go
anywhere I think it would be to get away
from work but I guess that thought as
our consideration and somewhere somehow
deep down inside of me I knew that I
needed this experience I needed this
experience to learn how to feel again I
needed this experience to teach me how
to be human again and so I embarked on
my first ever journey to Barham in June
2015 after about eight hours on logging
roads we arrived at the Queen’s little
village called long packin the Sun was
bright but the wind in our faces took
away the heat I saw children standing in
the row on the patio of their wooden
houses smiling shyly at us
the adults came to greet us and offer to
carry our belongings into the house I
switched off my cellphone as there was
no cell phone coverage over there it was
like a whole new world totally different
from the city I grew up in we were
welcome I guess
and in return we provided free medical
and dental services to the villages the
villagers had little access to medical
and dental care due to financial and
also logistic limitations we ran our
clinics and any open space given to us
we diagnosed and treated many different
medical conditions perform tooth
extractions and also taught them the
basics of good personnel hi
we listen to their stories and problems
and offer assistance in any way that we
can the villages admitted that they
didn’t have much to offer yet they
welcomed us with open arms and such warm
hospitality that is spoke volumes of the
way I looked at my own life before this
we slept in their houses with holes in
floorboards cobwebs in every corner
sometimes having to pitch our tents to
shield ourselves from insects and mines
one day a villager told me I have ran
out of medication the flying doctor
could not come due to bad weather and it
was then I realized how many times I and
so many others have taken the privileges
we have in the city for granted it was
then I realized how much these villages
need our help anyway so so then I
decided that our return since then I
have been on multiple trips to Barham
and I cannot help but notice the vast
differences in urbanization in our
country in our very own state we have
high-rise buildings in big cities good
transportation clean water supply and
round-the-clock electricity supply but
somewhere
many miles away in our very own state
there are people who have been deprived
of the very basic needs the water source
would be from the rivers nearby or
gravity-fed electricity was not
guaranteed and a generator will be run
if needed food would be catch of the day
while boar deer monitor lizards or fish
the kids would usually run around
barefooted with the and grab on their
clothes and faces in another village a
girl came up to me and said can you
please come to my house and see my
father it was an elderly man who had
been having diarrhea and vomiting for
the past few days
he lied on the floor of a stuffy room
with only a thin max beneath him and as
we attended to him flies buzzed around
after administering some fluids and
medication we told him to rest and that
we will come and see him again the next
morning the next day when we woke he was
already up and about with a huge grin on
his face his daughter ran up to me
grabbed my hand and looked at me it’s
not so widely at me as a sign of
gratitude I didn’t try to count the
number of times I myself had smelled so
lightly for something so simple and to
my disbelief it was very difficult I
then learned a very hard truth which was
my lack of gratitude I realized how easy
it was to take the things we have for
granted because we have it so easy that
we feel to be grateful for all the
things given to us and after that
life-changing trip I realized my outlook
on life has changed I was happier more
[Applause]
the journey to get to that point was
tough
the journey to Barham itself was tough
being in a different and totally
unfamiliar environment was tough yet it
was those experiences that taught me the
simplicity of life how to be grateful
for all that we have to not just whine
and complain because somewhere in our
very own state there are people who have
it worse than us I recall the first
dinner I had in barham when I observed
my surroundings carefully broken
floorboards mattresses in the corner
rolled out only for bedtime the buzzing
of insects accompanied by the occasional
house of the dogs the toilet was a small
hut about 100 metres away outside the
house
how could anyone live here I thought to
myself and then I heard my mom’s voice
in my head she said it’s good to be a
doctor it’s good to help others and he
was only there and then did I understand
what she meant thank you
[Applause] [Music]
I wanted to be a doctor a lawyer an
engineer I even wanted to be an air
stewardess but as I grew older as it
happens to most people in their teenage
years these ambitions slowly faded and
when the time actually came for me to
decide on my career pathway my parents
suggested medicine I did see it coming
seeing that my father is a doctor
himself but to be honest I was not
really up for it because I saw the long
hours my dad worked and how he used to
disappear from church service and family
gatherings to go to the hospital
that I thought to myself this is not the
kind of life I would want to sign up for
so I struggle with the idea of pursuing
medicine for quite a while until one day
when I had a heart-to-heart talk with my
mom she took my hands looked me in the
eye and said you know I think it’s good
to be a doctor it’s good to help others
but at that time I didn’t know what she
meant I mean isn’t that what doctors do
save lives
I could not visualize what the impact of
a doctor was what it meant for society
and for myself but at the age of 17 I
knew I was too young too naive and I
think I was too lazy to make any big
decisions on my own so long story short
I listened to my parents and as I went
to medical school in Russia years went
by
things were good until one early morning
in November 2008 when I received a text
from my dad the text read please arrange
to come home as soon as possible
mummy is not doing well now I knew my
mom had cancer she had undergone
radiotherapy two surgeries and was in
the midst of a chemotherapy I had just
spent my summer holidays at home a
couple of months back and she did seem
alright at that time I could not fathom
what I had just read being a medical
student I understood illnesses disease
progression but yet when it came to my
mum I suddenly could not comprehend how
things could change so drastically in
such a short period of time my mind was
a mess
I had exams coming up classes to go to
like just to attend nevertheless I
bought my tickets and I was on the next
flight home upon arriving at the
hospital my emotions were all over the
place my mom looked so thin so frail and
so pale that he broke my heart to see
her that way I am the eldest amongst
four siblings the youngest who was only
ten at that time so I tried to remain
composed but I think I was the most
emotional amongst all of them days went
by and we knew the time was near one day
when we were alone in the hospital room
she took my hands and looked at me with
her weary eyes and said please study
hard and be a good doctor so that you
can help others I wish
I could live long enough to see you
graduate get married and have kids I can
still hear those words very clearly in
my head until today she passed away on
the 14th of December 2008 I graduated
two years later in 2010 returned to
coaching and started my career as a
doctor but the second desk
I witnessed during my first few days as
an intern was a painful reminder of her
demise and I was close to tears it was
tough because she was the one who
encouraged me to do medicine from the
very beginning and now that she was gone
I felt like I had lost my sense of
direction but I told myself to suck it
up because this was going to be part of
my daily life as a doctor and the only
way I knew how to adapt was to build a
wall around me barricading myself from
all emotions and only choosing which
ones to let in the adapting went well
and I thought I was getting better at my
job but I kept having this sense of
emptiness in me being a doctor was
supposed to be rewarding yet it became
just a mundane job which paid my bills
yes of course
I helped others but the trade-offs were
my own emotions I had lost most of my
ability to empathize with others however
all of this changed when I was
introduced to a group of volunteers from
reach which stands for rural expeditions
assisting community health I found out
that they go on voluntary medical
mission trips to the interior villages
in Sarawak lightbar am providing primary
and preventative medical
and then took care not long after that
sister Cristina asked me if I would like
to join them on one of their trips at
that time I had heard about Baron before
but to me it was just another village in
the interior of Sarawak ours a little
hesitant at first I mean going up in
Kuching a comfortable city going to a
place I Barham seemed like a bizarre
idea to do and why would I go so far
just to treat patients when I’m already
doing that every day and if I were to go
anywhere I think it would be to get away
from work but I guess that thought as
our consideration and somewhere somehow
deep down inside of me I knew that I
needed this experience I needed this
experience to learn how to feel again I
needed this experience to teach me how
to be human again and so I embarked on
my first ever journey to Barham in June
2015 after about eight hours on logging
roads we arrived at the Queen’s little
village called long packin the Sun was
bright but the wind in our faces took
away the heat I saw children standing in
the row on the patio of their wooden
houses smiling shyly at us
the adults came to greet us and offer to
carry our belongings into the house I
switched off my cellphone as there was
no cell phone coverage over there it was
like a whole new world totally different
from the city I grew up in we were
welcome I guess
and in return we provided free medical
and dental services to the villages the
villagers had little access to medical
and dental care due to financial and
also logistic limitations we ran our
clinics and any open space given to us
we diagnosed and treated many different
medical conditions perform tooth
extractions and also taught them the
basics of good personnel hi
we listen to their stories and problems
and offer assistance in any way that we
can the villages admitted that they
didn’t have much to offer yet they
welcomed us with open arms and such warm
hospitality that is spoke volumes of the
way I looked at my own life before this
we slept in their houses with holes in
floorboards cobwebs in every corner
sometimes having to pitch our tents to
shield ourselves from insects and mines
one day a villager told me I have ran
out of medication the flying doctor
could not come due to bad weather and it
was then I realized how many times I and
so many others have taken the privileges
we have in the city for granted it was
then I realized how much these villages
need our help anyway so so then I
decided that our return since then I
have been on multiple trips to Barham
and I cannot help but notice the vast
differences in urbanization in our
country in our very own state we have
high-rise buildings in big cities good
transportation clean water supply and
round-the-clock electricity supply but
somewhere
many miles away in our very own state
there are people who have been deprived
of the very basic needs the water source
would be from the rivers nearby or
gravity-fed electricity was not
guaranteed and a generator will be run
if needed food would be catch of the day
while boar deer monitor lizards or fish
the kids would usually run around
barefooted with the and grab on their
clothes and faces in another village a
girl came up to me and said can you
please come to my house and see my
father it was an elderly man who had
been having diarrhea and vomiting for
the past few days
he lied on the floor of a stuffy room
with only a thin max beneath him and as
we attended to him flies buzzed around
after administering some fluids and
medication we told him to rest and that
we will come and see him again the next
morning the next day when we woke he was
already up and about with a huge grin on
his face his daughter ran up to me
grabbed my hand and looked at me it’s
not so widely at me as a sign of
gratitude I didn’t try to count the
number of times I myself had smelled so
lightly for something so simple and to
my disbelief it was very difficult I
then learned a very hard truth which was
my lack of gratitude I realized how easy
it was to take the things we have for
granted because we have it so easy that
we feel to be grateful for all the
things given to us and after that
life-changing trip I realized my outlook
on life has changed I was happier more
[Applause]
the journey to get to that point was
tough
the journey to Barham itself was tough
being in a different and totally
unfamiliar environment was tough yet it
was those experiences that taught me the
simplicity of life how to be grateful
for all that we have to not just whine
and complain because somewhere in our
very own state there are people who have
it worse than us I recall the first
dinner I had in barham when I observed
my surroundings carefully broken
floorboards mattresses in the corner
rolled out only for bedtime the buzzing
of insects accompanied by the occasional
house of the dogs the toilet was a small
hut about 100 metres away outside the
house
how could anyone live here I thought to
myself and then I heard my mom’s voice
in my head she said it’s good to be a
doctor it’s good to help others and he
was only there and then did I understand
what she meant thank you
[Applause] [Music]
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