[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I’m here to share with you a simple yet
life-changing phrase a phrase that can
sometimes reveal the past often reveals
the future and usually illuminates the
present a phrase with its origins right
here in Oak Park Tom Dunnington former
Oak Park resident now deceased was
frequently known to start conversations
with this phrase what’s it like to be
you then he listened listened and
learned I was inspired by this idea and
decided to adopt it when I started
meeting people for the first time I’d
like to share with you a few stories
that will illustrate how this phrase
changed my life
this is Abdul I met him while sitting in
front of the ice-cream store in the town
where I live he was walking back and
forth and I thought he was flirting with
me unfortunately he wasn’t but he did
sit down and I quickly realized that
English was not his native language but
I was already curious what’s it like to
be him I listened and I learned I
learned that Abdul is from Iraq he
served in their military for 17 years
achieving the rank of general he
partnered with the US military to
overthrow Saddam Hussein he was
permanently injured while doing that
work and because he
he and his family were repeatedly
targeted by their neighbors the u.s.
moved them here
Abdul never planned to leave his home
country it was very difficult to say
goodbye to his parents his 12 brothers
and sisters and an even larger extended
family that seemed to always be gathered
around a table laden with his cooking
once here
Abdul found himself in a totally new and
different kind of world he knew no one
at home he was frequently seen as a
traitor here he was frequently seen as
the enemy
I learned that Abdul is a good man
he’s a husband and a father of four and
he’s a fabulous cook today Abdul and his
family are practicing their English
going to school and working Abdullah
recently became an American citizen and
he now calls the u.s. home Abdullah
likes to say now I thank my American
friends by feeding them this is Katy we
were introduced to each other earlier
this year by a mutual friend she moves
in a world that’s very different from
mine but when we sat down together I was
eager to ask what’s it like to be you I
listened and I learned I learned that
Katy was given up for adoption at four
days old by a young mother who struggled
with mental health issues as a child she
never knew her biological father or her
brothers as a teenager trying to find
herself in this new
adopted white family she also was
confronted with mental health issues
she moved between a white world and a
black one
never knowing exactly where she fit in
today Katy’s greatest joy is her family
she’s reconnected with her brothers she
has a strong marriage to a white man and
together they’re raising their four
biracial daughters to believe that
neither their gender nor the color of
their skin
will define who they are Katie is a
writer and blogs about health and
wellness she’s working on her first book
she gives back to her local PTO and
supports local social justice causes in
her community Katie says we’re all
whizzing through space on this tiny
little rock we might as well learn to
Cabo is part of the boomerang generation
a part-time college student who lives
with his grandma I met him through her
and immediately was curious what’s it
like to be him over shared comfort food
he talked I listened and I learned I
learned that he also works full-time in
retail just to make ends meet while
dreaming of a career as a graphic
designer and entrepreneur he likes anime
drawing dragons movies sleeping in and
hanging out typical college student
stuff then he shared with me that he
struggled all of his life with both
physical and mental challenges and even
now live
in chronic pain at seven he came out as
a lesbian by nine he realized he was a
boy trapped in a girl’s body he
struggled to define himself in a world
less than 15 years ago that didn’t
provide the vocabulary that he needed to
so desperately express himself his
parents marriage fell apart his mother
struggled to try to figure out how to
make sense of this young boy who she had
welcomed into the world as her daughter
Cabo attempted suicide for the first
time and immediately found himself
medicated and in therapy by 20 he was
diagnosed with bipolar disorder two
depressive and chronic anxiety he was
sad all the time
now Cabo says I don’t want anymore
labels I just want to be me one more
story
this is vero my brown eye daughter from
a different mother she came and lived
with my daughter Kate and me as an
exchange student her parents put her on
a plane to travel to a different country
to live with people that they had never
met I thought a lot about that and
wondered what I would want if the
situation were reversed meanwhile I
became an instant soccer mom as vero hit
the ground running by joining a
traveling team one day as we traveled to
a remote game site
I heard her say to me you sound just
like my mom in that moment I realized
that although her
parents lived in a different country
spoke a different language and whose
day-to-day life was very different from
mine at the end of the day we’re all the
same thank you for listening to my
stories it’s allowed us to unpack our
unconscious bias and learn a little bit
of what it’s like to really be somebody
else we’ve learned that we’re all scared
we’re all feeling lost and alone not
sure of who we are where we’re going
we’re all a work in progress we’ve also
learned that we all have relationships
that are really important to us we all
want to give back in meaningful ways by
sharing our gifts and our talents with
our community we all dream of a better
world we’ve learned that if we stop and
ask what is it like to be you and then
listen we realize at the end of the day
we’re all the same now are you ready to
show up and do something different if
you are
I invite you right now to turn to the
person next to you and ask what’s it like to be you thank you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I’m here to share with you a simple yet
life-changing phrase a phrase that can
sometimes reveal the past often reveals
the future and usually illuminates the
present a phrase with its origins right
here in Oak Park Tom Dunnington former
Oak Park resident now deceased was
frequently known to start conversations
with this phrase what’s it like to be
you then he listened listened and
learned I was inspired by this idea and
decided to adopt it when I started
meeting people for the first time I’d
like to share with you a few stories
that will illustrate how this phrase
changed my life
this is Abdul I met him while sitting in
front of the ice-cream store in the town
where I live he was walking back and
forth and I thought he was flirting with
me unfortunately he wasn’t but he did
sit down and I quickly realized that
English was not his native language but
I was already curious what’s it like to
be him I listened and I learned I
learned that Abdul is from Iraq he
served in their military for 17 years
achieving the rank of general he
partnered with the US military to
overthrow Saddam Hussein he was
permanently injured while doing that
work and because he
he and his family were repeatedly
targeted by their neighbors the u.s.
moved them here
Abdul never planned to leave his home
country it was very difficult to say
goodbye to his parents his 12 brothers
and sisters and an even larger extended
family that seemed to always be gathered
around a table laden with his cooking
once here
Abdul found himself in a totally new and
different kind of world he knew no one
at home he was frequently seen as a
traitor here he was frequently seen as
the enemy
I learned that Abdul is a good man
he’s a husband and a father of four and
he’s a fabulous cook today Abdul and his
family are practicing their English
going to school and working Abdullah
recently became an American citizen and
he now calls the u.s. home Abdullah
likes to say now I thank my American
friends by feeding them this is Katy we
were introduced to each other earlier
this year by a mutual friend she moves
in a world that’s very different from
mine but when we sat down together I was
eager to ask what’s it like to be you I
listened and I learned I learned that
Katy was given up for adoption at four
days old by a young mother who struggled
with mental health issues as a child she
never knew her biological father or her
brothers as a teenager trying to find
herself in this new
adopted white family she also was
confronted with mental health issues
she moved between a white world and a
black one
never knowing exactly where she fit in
today Katy’s greatest joy is her family
she’s reconnected with her brothers she
has a strong marriage to a white man and
together they’re raising their four
biracial daughters to believe that
neither their gender nor the color of
their skin
will define who they are Katie is a
writer and blogs about health and
wellness she’s working on her first book
she gives back to her local PTO and
supports local social justice causes in
her community Katie says we’re all
whizzing through space on this tiny
little rock we might as well learn to
Cabo is part of the boomerang generation
a part-time college student who lives
with his grandma I met him through her
and immediately was curious what’s it
like to be him over shared comfort food
he talked I listened and I learned I
learned that he also works full-time in
retail just to make ends meet while
dreaming of a career as a graphic
designer and entrepreneur he likes anime
drawing dragons movies sleeping in and
hanging out typical college student
stuff then he shared with me that he
struggled all of his life with both
physical and mental challenges and even
now live
in chronic pain at seven he came out as
a lesbian by nine he realized he was a
boy trapped in a girl’s body he
struggled to define himself in a world
less than 15 years ago that didn’t
provide the vocabulary that he needed to
so desperately express himself his
parents marriage fell apart his mother
struggled to try to figure out how to
make sense of this young boy who she had
welcomed into the world as her daughter
Cabo attempted suicide for the first
time and immediately found himself
medicated and in therapy by 20 he was
diagnosed with bipolar disorder two
depressive and chronic anxiety he was
sad all the time
now Cabo says I don’t want anymore
labels I just want to be me one more
story
this is vero my brown eye daughter from
a different mother she came and lived
with my daughter Kate and me as an
exchange student her parents put her on
a plane to travel to a different country
to live with people that they had never
met I thought a lot about that and
wondered what I would want if the
situation were reversed meanwhile I
became an instant soccer mom as vero hit
the ground running by joining a
traveling team one day as we traveled to
a remote game site
I heard her say to me you sound just
like my mom in that moment I realized
that although her
parents lived in a different country
spoke a different language and whose
day-to-day life was very different from
mine at the end of the day we’re all the
same thank you for listening to my
stories it’s allowed us to unpack our
unconscious bias and learn a little bit
of what it’s like to really be somebody
else we’ve learned that we’re all scared
we’re all feeling lost and alone not
sure of who we are where we’re going
we’re all a work in progress we’ve also
learned that we all have relationships
that are really important to us we all
want to give back in meaningful ways by
sharing our gifts and our talents with
our community we all dream of a better
world we’ve learned that if we stop and
ask what is it like to be you and then
listen we realize at the end of the day
we’re all the same now are you ready to
show up and do something different if
you are
I invite you right now to turn to the
person next to you and ask what’s it like to be you thank you
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