Press "Enter" to skip to content

Are your limitations real? | Nikki Bradley | TEDxBallybofey


hello so this evening I want to talk
about limitations and I want a question
whether they’re actually real or not
whether our limitations are just in our
heads I’m gonna talk about a couple of
different things and I’m gonna ask a few
questions and but I want to start by
sharing one person’s story her name is
Sarah Darley
she sounds Irish but she isn’t she’s
American and she currently lives in
Canada Sarah’s life was changed
literally overnight when she was 13 she
was hit by a drunk driver and she became
an amputee on the scene Sarah lost her
hip I’m sorry she lost everything
she lost everything from the hip joint
and at 13 years of age she had to figure
out a new way of being
six months after Sarah lost her leg she
decided you know what I’m gonna learn to
ski I’m gonna learn to ski on one leg
why not so she did she set it up as a
goal for herself
and she got so good at it she actually
ended up moving to Canada where she
joined the disabled skiing em group and
she became really really good at it
Sarah then went on to conquer numerous
mountains one of which was matin Kinley
some of you may know what stands at
20,000 feet she did this all on crutches
she also walked the Camino which is 800
kilometers if I wasn’t enough Sarah
wanted a proper career she didn’t just
want to be you know a victim she didn’t
just want to sit on her bum all day at a
desk she wanted a real career on top of
everything else she saw that she was
doing so she became an occupational
therapist and if that wasn’t enough her
and her partner then set up a company
called side sticks if you’re wondering
what side sticks are this is one of them
they are hands down the most amazing
crutches I have ever owned and I’ve been
a crutch user for a very long time
the made of carbon fiber every element
on this crotch can be changed out they
are so strong and I know this for a fact
because last year when I was in Malta I
dropped this very one off a three-story
building I may have had a few juries at
the time and it was completely fine I
actually have a photograph of I think
that about 11 pairs of crutches lined up
against a wall I was going through them
Jesus every day nearly I was changing
crutches Sarah decided to help herself
and to help people like me by setting up
an amazing company and she really has I
got these in 2014 and they have opened
up so many doors for me
so essentially Sarah’s story and Sarah’s
existence has changed my life Sarah’s
just one example of what you can do when
you’re faced with adversity she made
that choice she chose to live an amazing
life but was she born that way was she
born with this extra special thing
within her or did her accident make her
that person now I’ve only spoken to
Sarah over Skype because as I mentioned
she lives in Canada so I don’t know if
she was always like this but it’s a
question that we kind of you know we’ve
probably always wondered say the likes
of famous people or athletes singers we
assume that they’re they’re born with
that star quality and for that reason we
can’t really relate to them we think oh
there’s no point in me trying to be that
person because they were born that way
but is that actually true
I myself was very ordinary as a child um
I had no real goals I had no real
aspirations probably the most exciting
things happened to me as a teenager was
a cancer diagnosis Ewing sarcoma were
two words that were altered to me when I
was 16 back in 2002 and those two words
have changed everything for me
I spent 2003 and 2004 receiving
treatment chemotherapy radiotherapy and
having invasive surgery over in the UK
I’ve had
not gonna lie I’ve had a hard life you
probably notice I keep going up and down
I can be as tall or as short as I want
depending on which leg a stand on I
currently have 11 centimeter leg length
discrepancy I have chronic nerve damage
muscle damage and I’ve also been told
that I myself will lose my leg this all
stemmed from a cancer diagnosis that’s
tough and again like Sara nobody would
have given out to me if I decided you
know what I don’t want to have a big
exciting life I’m just happy to be here
thankfully I’ve been cancer-free ever
since which is amazing but life
certainly hasn’t been easy and I took me
a little while to realize that I’m not
somebody that just wants to have the
average life I want to get out there I
want to see things I want to meet it be
amazing people like Sara and I want to
push myself but that all started with
something that wanted to limit me and
that was cancer I’ve been actually very
lucky in that I’ve been given that big
light bulb moment not everybody has that
and I actually think that people that
are ill should consider themselves lucky
for that reason we’ve been given that
second chance and it’s a brilliant
motivator however we all have something
that we lean on what is what
crotch for the every everyday person it
could be something like our children our
jobs our finances it could be any one of
those things it could be all three
everything it could be something that
one thing that’s stopping you from
pushing yourself forward and really
really reaching for the stars my crotch
is actually my crotch I used this as my
excuse for so long and I didn’t realize
that until a specific moment in time but
for four years after I got over my
illness I mosey through a couple of
years I did go back to college and I was
determined that I wanted to go back to
education and I did travel a little bit
but at the back of my mind I always saw
myself as different and as somebody that
couldn’t do what they truly wanted to do
because I was still on crutches I
usually walk with two but for the
purpose of this evening I just chose one
because I want a hands-free to wave at
you instead of him I I realized after a
very important meeting with my
consultant in Dublin but I hadn’t been
living I’d been merely existing and how
he helped me realize that was by telling
me that I was actually gonna stay on
crutches for the rest of my life and
that my situation was going to get worse
not better
that moment was actually the kick of the
boom that I needed it opened up so many
doors in my mind that I had just closed
him so many times I thought back to the
amount of times that I’d said once I get
off the crutches I’ll try this once I
get better I’ll try that to be told that
well actually that’s not the case was
amazing about three weeks after that
meeting I set up in a campaign called
fighting fit for Ewing’s and I wanted to
base the campaign around form physical
challenges I’d faced a lot of challenges
both physically and mentally
over the years previous and I wanted
this to be something that was motivating
for others that would highlight the
importance of exercise for
rehabilitation and that would also
obviously raise awareness for Ewing’s
but would push me personally it would
really push me and see really what my
limitations were at that stage back in
2013 hadn’t really been in the gym
hadn’t really do
much in general hadn’t really push
myself exercise wise unrealized actually
as time went on that I’ve been doing it
all wrong but meeting up with a
physiotherapist and a personal trainer
between the three of us we devised a
three-month plan almost like an
experiment and we said if my pain is a
little bit better at the end of this
three months let’s see what else can
happen and after those three months I
was off all pain medication bar one
which is leaving for pain so doesn’t
really catch but what had happened was
that I started thinking of myself and my
abilities differently I started
remembering what it was like to have fun
and to push myself and I started
planning for bigger bigger challenges so
we started off in the gym just doing
normal exercises and my first challenge
involved climb involves climbing mawkish
mountain here into any goal it was both
a success and a failure but it taught me
loads took me six hours to do it and my
hands are an absolute bits afterwards
what it taught me loads and from there
I’ve been so lucky through the campaign
to experience some absolutely
extraordinary things none of which I
would have even thought to attempt had I
not got sick in the first place I’ve
scaled a route at the Seoul High Miyoko
glacier in Iceland and scale and
abseiled into a 45 foot ice cave while I
was there I attempted a Guinness World
Record in Holland that’s another story
some of you know it my god i am i have
done mountain climbing and rock climbing
and as Greg mentioned I’m hoping to do a
massive challenge next year which I’m
gonna mention a bit a bit later on
obviously with everything that you do
every one of us it’s not as easy as just
right I’m gonna do it and it’s gonna
happen and it’s gonna be success they
say if at first you don’t succeed try
and try again that’s a lovely little
saying and it’s a nice quote to put in
your Instagram but is it actually
something we live by if we’re real if
we’re realistic and if we’re honest with
ourselves if at first you don’t succeed
do we actually give up how many of you
here set a new year’s resolution this
year when January first came around did
you think right I’m gonna do this I’m
gonna do that I’m gonna get into the gym
I’m gonna new year new me all of this
how many of you can honestly say right
now this evening that you’re still on
that new year’s resolution goal if you
aren’t it’s fine it may be that when you
set that goal it was just a little bit
too far ahead of where you are now who
knows there could have been many reasons
but it might just be a case that it
didn’t work out
I don’t think failure is something that
we should be embarrassed of I don’t
think it’s something we should shy away
from in order to succeed we have to fail
there is absolutely no two ways about it
I’m gonna be honest I don’t think
children should get medals for
participation because why should they if
little Timmy gets comes last in the race
and he gets a medal he’s gonna think he
did something right
as in he’s won what if little Georgina
comes first and he’s looking at his
medal and then he looks over Georgina
and she came first and she is the same
medal what kind of message are we are we
giving Timmy he’s gonna go home that
evening and think that’s okay we got the
same thing I don’t need to try well I’m
sorry Timmy but you came last so you’re
not getting a medal
and I’m not saying that in a horrible
way I’m just saying that it’s okay to
fail and especially teaching young
people this is so important because we
have to teach them how to cope with
failure when things don’t go your way
you don’t throw your dolls out of the
pram and have a huff you figure out a
way to improve what you’re doing and you
move forward children are like that we
are all like that we have to learn that
from a young age though and I set up the
campaign there were so many times that I
failed miserably with training for this
forepeak challenge there has been
millions of times that I failed
miserably I climb slaved honoured a
couple of weeks ago or a couple of
months ago and I had to turn around cuz
I just couldn’t I couldn’t keep going my
head wasn’t in it the winds were really
high and I had to call it it wasn’t safe
to continue I had to turn around but I
didn’t see that as a failure I thought
you know what that’s all part of
training if I do that on the day fair
enough that’s not great but in training
it’s okay to turn around
another thing I
to mention is with going back to the new
year’s resolution did we maybe not
succeed because we set a goal that was a
little bit too up there without any real
thought of how we’re gonna get from here
to up there for example if you want to
lose 10 stone in like six weeks because
you ate like a pig over Christmas and
you can’t fit into your dress I’m sorry
to tell you but you’re gonna fail if
weight loss is the primary goal and
women especially I don’t want to seem
that I’m being sexist or anything but I
know from personal experience that women
really do struggle with this because we
focus on the wrong thing if our goal is
to lose weight until lose weight alone
how quickly do we start stepping on the
stick the scales every time I go to the
bathroom how quickly is our mind
completely consumed with food every ad
we see on the TV
we’re drawn to the food rated things
every time we fall off the Y again and
have a McDonald’s we feel terrible a
Tercel about ourselves the whole thing
is so negative I want to suggest that
you look at it from a different point of
view
instead of setting a goal to lose weight
why not set a goal to do something like
a triathlon what if you said what if
your new year’s resolution for 2018 was
I’m gonna do my very first triathlon
this year and right now I don’t know
what a triathlon is I haven’t a clue is
it swimming skiing abseiling who knows I
know that it’s three things but that’s
all I know
that’s a huge goal if you set that as
your goal what do you think is gonna
happen as a lovely side effect you’re
obviously gonna lose weight so instead
of focusing on the food and this and
that the other you’re now over here in
this really positive space you’re
meeting with people that are in the
triathlon sphere you’re learning you’re
educating yourself you’re having fun
you’re networking there’s so much more
good stuff happening over here compared
to the lonely I really want to whisper
bar over here and within this within
your big goal of the triathlon you can
then further break it down so instead of
thinking oh my god a triathlon when you
figure out what a triathlon is it’s
three
cycling running and swimming and you can
think right if I’m gonna start at day
one and think I have to do a triathlon
that’s a huge task can I do this and
then your mind is just filled with dates
how about thinking right I’m not a very
strong swimmer so for the next month I’m
gonna focus solely on swimming I’m gonna
get into the pool every day even if it’s
just splash of eight and make a bit of a
fool of myself
that’ll be my routine routine for this
month then next month I’m gonna get out
on the bike and I’m gonna aim to go a
little bit further every single day if
you break down the big goal to little
small bite-sized goals suddenly
limitations aren’t as big of a deal
suddenly what you’re capable of doing is
almost mind-blowing I know this from
personal experience as I mentioned in
the beginning I am no way born with
special whatever I was born a very
ordinary girl I’m about to take on the
biggest challenge of my life four peaks
in 24 hours
I told genuinely know if I can do it I
want to raise 50,000 euro for three
cancer charities one of which I have a
personal connection to the Ross Nugent
foundation I don’t encourage you to look
them up because they are doing
absolutely amazing work I’ve broken it
down because four peaks in one day even
now it’s too much blows my mind so
instead we’re doing a mountain by
mountain I’m going to the gym I’m doing
my classes in between that me and my mom
who’s here this evening
are on the road doing walking simple
things but put together amount to an
amazing thing on July 21st I really
really truly hope that I’ll become the
first crutch user to climb four of our
Irish mountain peaks in 24 hours and
raise at least 50,000 euro in doing so
and I hope that you’ll all donate I know
where you all live no I don’t really I
don’t know right now if I can do it but
I’m doing everything in my power to make
it at least something I can try to do
what I would say to you is after you
leave here this evening if there is
something anything at all that you
really want to do but you’re scared to
do it try and use some of the things
that I’ve said
you break it down before you know what
you could find yourself achieving
absolutely amazing things that right now
seem just so far beyond I wish you the
best of luck thank you very much [Applause]
Please follow and like us: