favorite of mine you’re so immature to
which there’s an appropriate response
duh
hi I’m Steven James Craven and I am a
professional immature
35 years I’ve been battling and fighting
this concept this idea of maturity and
adulthood so maybe a few years back I
took these online maturity test
I wanted to see for real was it true it
was I immature and I would love to tell
you the result of this test but I can’t
because while I was taking the test
I became preoccupied with the thought
and the idea of trying to capture gas
emissions from the cavity of my buttocks
and here is a tip sandwich bags don’t do
the trick you want to go in the freezer
quality gallon bag so I never really
found out if I was mature because I was
learning I was growing I was discovering
how to make a Dutch oven to go but we
need to explore this concept of
immaturity
it’s not it’s not yet accepted in adult
society it’s it’s probably no mutual
benefit online okay although there are
advocates such as comedian welfare and
immature as a word boring people use to
describe fun people it’s not only gonna
get your point across if you calling
your your audience boring so it’s
defined immaturity let’s go back to
birth and that’s established that
humankind when it comes to instinctive
survival
we’re not doing too well because if you
leave a baby where it’s born it’s gonna
cry itself to that it needs tender
support and care that needs more mature
people to nurture it
bring it on to say maturity
so let’s fess for the toddler years
let’s say there’s a four year old or a
mall food court and this Tyler is
running around naked with a popsicle
smudge it in its mouth no one is going
to point the finger and say extra range
robot
no one’s gonna label this toddler
immature we’re giving him a free pass
he’s innocent and the harsher says he’s
ignorant he selfishly exploring the
pursuit of fun at the expense of
and we’re okay with actually trying
Society accepting no let’s fast-forward
to maturity now most dictionaries would
agree they would present to you that
maturity is a state or condition
adulthood
what is adulthood what is being an adult
and the same dictionaries will come
sense I wanted all this someone recently
developed to remain mentally emotionally
Pacific so maybe we can say everyone
that goes press puberty is an adult if
you watch the news you shop at Walmart
that’s clearly not the case so we need a
little more they say then an adult also
is complete well if adults are complete
then whatever happened to learning
something new every day whatever
happened to this bandwagon of a lifelong
learner that’s the thing about being
mature and adult we’re all still growing
we’re all still
learning that’s the problem when you
admit I mature I’m an adult don’t treat
me like a child
well there’s still some things you could
learn maybe that’s when you stopped
growing
when you admit that they’re still when
you don’t admit there’s still a child
inside you so so let’s go back a bit
it’s going to be maturity okay maybe
this audience right here and you went
around in 12 to 14 or 35 years of age
they’re sitting in a class and the
teacher talks about how he loves
sausages and how he’s born in 1969 an
innocent child will stay cool I’m not
sure a dog will say I like sausages –
that was a great leader an immature
person will think all those things but
they’re battling with this juxtaposition
of new fact knowledge of multiple
connotations of what a sausage could be
at 169 means they don’t have they don’t
have tangible part experience to really
it’s an immature and at least for that
age it’s not a program in a public place
but should you be laying them we’re not
blaming before you’re old at the food
court why are we condemning them from
starting to grow up starting to take on
these new concepts these new ideas so
why had all hood to a teenager – someone
was a child it doesn’t seem like a lot
of fun but it is you can make money you
can buy what you want you can form
lasting friendships you can stay out
with your friends there’s so many more
opportunities you have the freedom of
choice you can make something of your
just fine here dot there make sure you
initial there there’s a lot of rules
that you have to play by okay but that’s
okay
without these rules without these adults
do you know what happens s dropping me
he threw me William Golding’s 1954
allegorical novel Lord with lies so we
need this safety we need order but these
same adults say you can’t teach an old
of course you can teach anyone a new
trick but does the old dog want to learn
that’s the key so to define a Dogma to
define maturity we’ll say one you’re at
the legal age – we’ll say you physically
just a past or reached puberty and three
so Society does not fall apart we’ll say
you take responsibility for your stunt
and if that includes every living
creature on this earth like a member of
PETA or that just includes the people
and your homogenous neighborhood or
maybe a conservative nationalist that’s
fine if least you’re looking out for
those responsible so where did I grow up
what did I started to October 20th 1989
I was 8 my uncle who looked like a
spitting image of Teddy Roosevelt always
had a cigar in his mouth and a head and
was chewing it he took my cousin and my
little sister and I to the castle of
haunted house and dilapidated shopping
more outside of Buffalo New York and so
to this day
immature can’t handle board homes can
handle blood violence monsters scared
silly but a lot of haunted houses it’s a
safe scare mom and dad are always there
to protect you you can power behind them
but on this day Teddy Roosevelt uncle
just waited to sing I said alright
aren’t you coming with us
I’m not going you take care of them I
didn’t know what those words meant you
take care of them what do you mean take
care of them I’m eight I’m a child I
only think about myself and I wasn’t
allowed to be scared because there was
no one there to protect me how did I
realize this I looked at them a little
sister I had looked at my cousin they
were more scared than me I had to take
responsibility for them
I had to now blade the adult and I’m
pushing through the haunted house back
off you set those zombie pirates and
inside I’m shaking I’m scared I probably
peed my pants but I had to convince them
it’s okay to be scared big brother big
cousins here let’s get through this I
faked it it was the show that’s what I
learned I really didn’t know what I was
doing but I tried my best to help them
your teacher your doctor that’s all
we’re trying to do is bring you into a
better world than will be brought into
and does it have to be that serious as
long as we’re being responsible so I’m
in a role as a teacher I assess the
proficiency in that test and the growth
overall of the students scores and I
notice a bunch of doodles on
hey burger Haut wrong nice party
pictures and I thought wow that’s a
lotta immaturity that’s a lot of fun I
want to jump in I did my part I graded I
says that the comments and try to fight
the score at the bottom so they read the
comments and did my job as an adult let
me jump in and be immature okay for
you’re only young once that you can be
in this sure gravity so here is a nice
doodle and I added my comments nice
boobs remains McCracken turn the unicorn
into the rare majestic fight for and
then it could be nuclear disaster maybe
it’s a woman and I thought this would
start a revolution the students wanted
to know more the teachers joining in on
the fun this is great they basically
stopped doodling and I I didn’t know
there’s I don’t wanna now I do well
you’re an adult this is why are you why
are you joking you come out on that
paper this is my job as a child to do
this not your this this is weird
it should I did what I was supposed to
just go maintain you order in the
classroom I’m still serving as an adult
just increasing the shared immaturity
and that’s something we all have to do
we have to take responsibility for
ourselves but also continue to seek out
the child with him but I’ve good news as
you get older you are parent if you are
in a serious profession you do have to
adult because it keeps everything
running and it allows the young people
to be a little bit more immature but
immaturity is cyclical paintings it’s a
cycle because what happens when you’re
65 or 70
in the charity returns in Southeast Asia
they will have specialist seats on the
subway for the elderly or the disabled
have you seen old people in Japan or
Taiwan they don’t eat those special
seats don’t push you right out of the
way they will sit down they are immature
most of the best dirty jokes in the
world come from senior citizens I had
learned this two years after I was eight
ten years old my paternal grandmother’s
house there’s a round table in the
dining room and she calls me over at
Steven and Steven come here come here
so I listen to my grandmother that was a
good boy
and just don’t tell your mother and
father and she proceeded to tell me a
joke and all say is it involves a
snowman dance and snowblower and I could
not believe this just coming from my
grandmother but this was a holiday
season and I was taught that it’s better
to give than to receive
so I would turn to favor and I I gave
her a joke as well and I guess I didn’t
understand why I thought we were both
adults here that we can handle the
immaturity both good but the society
that we have built said that that was
so what you have to realize ancestor all
people doesn’t matter how much they’re
accomplishing or how many degrees they
have her children they’ve raised we’re
all still learning and growing and
seeking out pleasure and new experiences
and that should be applauded okay I
often tell people before him before I
eat I hate to say this but probably what
I’m gonna say might offend you and if it
does on the bottom of my heart I forgive
you because taking offense is one of the
dread tragedies of adults but there’s a
new hole if you look things are changing
all around the world in New York City
adults will pay upwards of $700 to
experience preschool and they will
finger page and they’ll have a little
snacks they will return to their
childhood now we have trampoline parks
not just children in there there’s
adults there’s escape rooms but the
problem is we don’t want the dalts
mucking it up okay one of the biggest
hottest trends right now in adult
hobbies and publishing is art therapy do
you know that eight out of Amazon’s top
50 bestsellers coloring books coloring
books no coloring books but you open it
up I got one for a present I need
therapy I opened it up thousands of
things a garden what happened to the
bear in overalls conducting the Train
give me that one
the newsprint paper child doesn’t need
anything fancy and immature the person
fun they but adults have to make it
almost Aegis and serious it’s not
serious silly it’s meant to be and how
do we know that the silly works or the
immaturity works look at the workplace
if you’re fortunate enough to work at a
company that values you as an employee
and they start to see that morale is
down what do they do do they have a
coffee table do they know here’s a
hostess donuts free breakfasts pretty
childish or the go play laser tag to go
to a roast course a group of 40 year old
people shooting each other in the face
with a paintball gun team-building it’s
not team-building its childhood fun
sugar don’t have a steady income the
only way they know how to have fun is to
interact with other people I didn’t need
to look at my calendar and schedule a
playdate I just knocked on the door next
to me hey do you want to run around and
beat each other with sticks sure it’s in
fun but the world isn’t it’s always
innocent so we need to grow up but we
need to always be reminded that we’re
still growing and we’re still learning
and I’ll leave you with this last poll
May 26th 2012 my favorite novel was
diagnosed with Hodgkin’s
and he was not in hospice and this was
the time for me to not be silly
I’ve seen enough movies I’ve been in
traffic few times death is a series or
via I was lucky enough in my life to not
go through horrible hardships that’s why
I was able to stay it’s still Emma child
and that’s why if you look at some
people maybe they grow up to the best
you can’t blame me this why I was
fortunate but I was going to be as
serious as I could I was gonna help my
uncle’s gonna be there for him and all
the family where we were mature we were
helping him this was difficult time for
all of us and for him he had a mere
hours not days or weeks to live and I
wanted to do more I wanted to make the
arrangements I wanted to call the
funeral home and contact everyone and
write the piece in the newspaper I
wanted to bring him that plastic he drew
with a little straw on it so he could
get some water it wasn’t good at any of
that stuff but wasn’t much of an adult
the last words I heard and I just
struggled to come out of his lips barely
opening his eyes and the last time I saw
him he looked at me and said Stephen
tell your jokes in his final moments he
didn’t want to be serious you didn’t
want to discuss politics he wanted to
laugh but I wanted to be serious
so what did I do you bet your ass I
talked about his jokes I gave my uncle
what he wanted enjoyment so it doesn’t
matter where you find enjoyment just
don’t take it away from someone else and
if they want to run if they’re one of
our own buck native at the popsicle
smudged in their mouth in the round of
applause tween them what have a safe
[Music]
so the final message is that if someone
ever tells you you’re immature you say yes yes I am