hello world so one of my things to do is
procrastinate on Instagram it’s the
evening I should be relaxing but I’m
reading reading the infinite game here’s
a little peek of moon shots are not a
just cause there it is a printed page
from the new book so it’s the first time
I’ve read it so it’s really just a lot
of red pen quite frankly but here’s what
I’m loving I’ve learned so much from
this from this book and this given me an
entirely new way of seeing the world an
entirely new lens through which to see
it which has been a thrill and even sort
of adding more depth to some of the
previous stuff that I’ve written about
for those of you who may have read
leaders eat last for example I talked
about the circle of safety and one of
the things that I sort of I think I
talked about it and leaders have to go
back and check but yes it’s absolutely a
leaders responsibility to build a circle
of safety and when it exists it is then
the responsibility of others to step
into it and very much about trust being
a two-way street
think about it in a personal
relationship you know when you are
married to someone or dating somebody
and all you do is give and give and give
and give and create a safe space for
them and they don’t reciprocate then the
relationships gonna collapse so I like
this idea of shared risk though the
leader is the one who takes the risk
first anyway as I like to do if you like
I will answer any questions you have and
the more questions you have the easier
it is for me to procrastinate not do my
work what else can I tell you hello from
Portugal so cool and from Venezuela neat
what else can I tell you that I’ve been
learning oh one of the things that I do
is you know this idea of vision and
missions
and everybody’s get a vision statement
in a mission statement and one of the
problem is one of the problems is is
that we don’t have standard definitions
for what a vision or mission are so they
always look different sound different
some people some companies have one some
companies that both something is you put
them in the different order so the
question is what is a what is a vision
and mission statement so I thought just
like I’ve done with a lot of my work if
we can’t agree on the definition let’s
throw out the words and start again and
I talked about a Just Cause and I give
some pointers as to actually how to
write it just cause where is it so if
you actually want to write a just cause
if you actually want to write a vision
that will inspire people it needs to
have five things so all vision
statements need to have five things for
them to be inspiring and worthy of the
infinite game here we go they must be
for something they must be inclusive
they must be service-oriented they must
be resilient and they must be idealistic
what does that mean okay for something
means it has to be a positive and
specific specific vision of the future
so being against something is good to
rally people but it’s not it’s not
lasting and it’s not inspiring so you
have to be for something what you stand
for versus stand against it has to be
inclusive which means it is open to all
those who would like to contribute so
when people hear your vision they think
to themselves oh I’d like to be a part
of that and you can attract people from
all different kinds of skillsets too
often when people write visions or
missions they ground it in their product
you know to make the best computer blah
blah blah well that’s really attractive
if you’re an engineer but if you’re an
accountant that’s not so attractive and
very often when organizations define
their vision or mission based on product
it makes some of the people who work at
the company either feel like or even
sometimes treat it as if they’re
second-class citizens so this has to be
inclusive service-oriented it means the
primary benefit has to go to others if
you go to your boss for career advice
the expectation is that the advice that
you get will benefit your career if your
boss gives you advice to benefit their
career not really very good so the same
value-chain which is all of the things
we do have to benefit those on the
receiving end so if you’re a if you’re
in product development it has to the
products you’re developing have to
benefit the people who will use the
products if you’re a leader the things
the lead your leadership your advice
your counsel everything has to benefit
the people in your charge and if you’re
an investor the investments you make
have to benefit the company you’re
investing in and then of course you can
expect to be paid well of course you can
expect to be rewarded of course you can
expect a return on your investment
second only after the the the the
benefactor the the person who’s supposed
to benefit from your effort or counsel
is satisfied first and this is necessary
for a good just cause in the infinite
game it has to be resilient that sort of
goes without saying it has to be able to
endure political technological and
cultural change once again if you define
it based on your product and there’s a
technological change not gonna last and
then finally it has to be idealistic big
bold and ultimately unachievable in
other words it’s not about some big goal
of becoming the biggest or the best and
it’s not about reaching some revenue
target even if it’s huge
it’s about achieving something that for
all intents and purposes you’ll never
get there think about the civil rights
movement think about the Declaration of
Independence
we’ll never actually reach a point of
all people are created equal but we’ll
die trying which is sort of the point of
a good Just Cause which is we devote our
lives to advancing something that is an
ideal so I figured most people don’t
write good vision and mission statements
not because they’re bad people but
because we don’t really have any
standardized guidelines so that’s what
I’m hoping hoping to put some framework
around with the hope that those of us
who work for an organization with a just
cause will be inspired to come to work
every day questions could I tell your
daughter Clara to go to bed now that’s
funny Clara I go to bed now
[Music]
just leaving through the questions hello
a lot of people from Portugal it’s kind
of late there isn’t it you should all be
in bed oh you Portuguese like to stay up
late anyway so I’m hard at work
finishing this book eager eager to share
it with you all I’m in that nervous
stage now where I’m writing and you know
I fear that I haven’t probably
communicated the ideas or probably
communicated the thought and and there’s
all this insecurity that goes with
producing a product like this it’s a
great of product it’s not a product of
science or experimentation it’s a
creative product so you know all that
nervousness of putting something out
there as I’m reading it I’m enjoying the
reading but you know the fear I have is
is will will you guys like it will it
connect will it actually offer value in
the world rather than just be some sort
lots of Portuguese on here tonight no
plan to come to Portugal any time soon
hello from Peru I’d always wanted to go
to Peru what are some good books to
recommend there’s actually a bunch of
cool books coming out from some folks I
know Scott Harrison’s book thirst just
came out I think today
Scott’s a great guy and I know his story
it’s kind of inspiring it’s really
inspired not kind of expired it is
inspiring Scott Belsky ‘he’s new book
the messy middle I think just came out
today as well I like I like Scott and I
like what he stands for in the world
Bernabe Brown has a new book coming out
as well about leadership I haven’t read
it yet but I’m excited to read it so
those are some books that are coming out
from people I know and like
[Music]
come to Australia I was just there hello
from Argentina
I like Miele SS struggling to with the
finding of the founders of my companies
why struggling with finding the founders
of my companies why I’m not sure I
understand the question there are you
one of the founders are you working for
the founders hello Jim quick Jim for
those of you who don’t know Jim quick
you really kW I K you really should
click over and say hi to Jim click could
um quick he is awesome one of my
favorite people in the world he just
said hi he’s the best yes ‘burn AE
oh so you’re working for the founder
Eric well they have to want to do it so
is it that you’re struggling because
they don’t want to do it and you think
they should or that they really want it
but you know you have to want to learn
your why it’s what’s that old joke how
many psychiatrists does it take to
change a light bulb 1 but the light bulb
has to really want to change it’s the
same thing you can’t force anybody to
learn there why they have to want to do
it because once you learn it it requires
the focus and sacrifice to actually go
through it so you know do you think are
do you think ry changes as we go through
different seasons in our life oh that’s
such a great question do you I think
your Y changes everything I’ve learned
about the why the answer is it’s it’s
permanent once you it’s it’s the sum
total of how you were raised and and our
experiences as kids and it’s fully
formed probably by our mid to late teens
and then the rest of our lives are
simply opportunities to live in balance
with our Y or not so it’s not like you
know you know a lot of people think
tragedy changes your Y no it doesn’t but
it certainly can make it front and
center if you’ve suffered a personal
tragedy in your life natural disasters
September 11th you know a lot of us are
sort of struck all of a sudden that my
job is stupid and it’s not worthwhile
and I don’t
feel it’s fulfilling well that doesn’t
mean that your why changed it means you
came to realize because of the tragedy
that there are things that are more
important for anybody who’s ever had
somebody near them die prematurely you
know you’re struck by our problems
aren’t that bad and life is valuable and
special and it really reminds us that to
focus on something bigger than ourselves
is is important so these things thrust
the WHI into into focus but they don’t
form your eye and they certainly don’t
change your eye we only have one why and
it lasts our entire lives the challenge
is to live in balance with it how do you
learn your passion as a fifteen year old
[Music]
you know that’s such a good question the
I think as a fifteen year old I hope
that you you start to practice taking
care of your friends you start to
practice service that you start to
practice leadership that you volunteer
or you go away on a volunteer program or
you do something for others or when you
spend time with your friends you know
you’ve heard me say this before put your
phone away and make sure all your
friends put their phones away and really
spend time valuable time with your
friends and and that’s what I think
you’ll discover your passion as a
teenager quite frankly as any age which
is there’s a great irony to discovering
our passion which is it doesn’t come
from trying to find it for ourselves it
actually comes from trying to help
others find it so commit yourself to
help others find or solve the problem
that they’re struggling with which may
be the same as yours and you will soon
discover what your your passion is as
well it’s counterintuitive but you know
human beings are made to take care of
each other and so that’s what we got to
do why is is why a humble thing why is
an act of service it’s kind of it has a
dual purpose it’s the value we offer to
the world it’s the value we have in our
friends lives but it’s also the thing we
need the most
so my why is to inspire people to do the
things that inspire them so together
each of us can change our world
or the better so that’s what I try and
put out there that’s what I try and do
that’s what I try and have reflected in
my work
to inspire people to do what inspires
them however the thing that I give to
the world the value that I have in the
world is also the thing that I need the
most so I have to constantly seek
inspiration from others because if I
don’t then I become lost and I forget my
own why and it becomes about me and I
ken why create discomfort for the ground
and losses an opportunity cost well I
think what why provides is calm and
certainty so sometimes there might be
short-term losses for long-term gain and
I think why provides the focus to make
those decisions it happened to me
personally when I discovered my why a
bunch of years ago I decided that the
work that I was doing at the time was
not the work that was advancing my cause
and I decided to close my office and
start again and everybody panicked and
thought that I’d gone out of business
and I can tell you that it never been so
sure of a decision in all my life it was
such an easy decision to make
how do you pick friends hopefully you
pick friends who you care about them
that you’d want to sacrifice for them
and that you feel that they would
sacrifice for you
you don’t necessarily know these things
overnight you know friend friendship is
like dating you know you get to know
somebody and and you see it it’s if
there’s something there um I love how
Jen Straus Rosenthal one of my oldest
friends just logged on we’ve known each
other since we were in high school
hi Jen so this is this is uh she’s the
best so this is the way a friend of mine
describes trust and I think it’s
brilliant he does fine so when you meet
someone there’s a rope there that’s
called trust that you would never lean
on because you don’t know them and then
as you get to know them you might put a
little bit of your weight on the rope
and you see if it holds and the more you
get to know them the more of your weight
you can put against the rope and
the Rope holds your entire weight but
you would never do it out of the gate
you would never do it first because you
don’t know if the Rope is sure and so
it’s the same thing and you have to
constantly keep checking your rope and
there’s like is the rope that they
provided you still strong or is it
starting to fray and if it’s starting to
fray you have to say hey my rope is
fraying and you have to keep watching
there if a rope and seeing are you
acting in a way that you’re that their
rope can hold up their weight because
you’re responsible for building that so
it’s a two-way street but I love this
metaphor of trust as a rope that you
lean on my friend Tom came up with that
and he’s kind of a genius one of my dear
friends and mentors here’s the thing
about mentorship a lot of people say you
know you get an email I’m sure everybody
is familiar with this you know will you
be my mentor mentorship is like
friendship you can’t just go up to a
stranger on the street and say will you
be my friend it doesn’t work that way
you can’t just decide who you want to be
your friends you got to get to know each
other and I think mentorship is the same
way a mentor like a friend evolves you
don’t choose for your mentors you didn’t
say I want that person to be my mentor
because how do you know that they would
want to sacrifice time and energy for
you just because you asked them you
don’t just like someone doesn’t just cuz
you ask them to be your friend they’re
not gonna just be your friend where it’s
not like little kids on the playground
anymore
and so mentorships evolved like if you
call someone for advice and they give
you advice this is what happened to me I
there’s a guy named Ron I met him I
thought he was amazing
I I reached out to him for some advice
and he took my call another time I
reached out to him he took my call
another time I emailed him he returned
my email and before I knew it I realized
he really cared about me and he really
cared to see me grow and he became my
mentor slowly like somebody becomes your
friend and I remember I was leaving his
house and I had my put my arm around him
to say goodbye and I said you know I’m
so glad you’re my mentor and he
responded something I did not expect he
said and I’m so glad you’re mine and
this is what I love about true mentor
relationships which is both people are
learning you’re both the mentor and the
mentee for as much as I thought he was
just the giver it never occurred to me
that this highly accomplished man
was learning from me too so I think
great mentor relationships are like
great friendships they’re about
give-and-take and you don’t decide to
make someone your mentor even if it’s
well intended it evolves and you
discover someone’s your mentor like you
discover someone’s your friend like you
discover you’re in love with someone so
that’s my view on mentorship watch
Deadpool 2 the other night for the
second time it’s such a good film I
really like the Deadpool franchise I
hope they make many many more so that’s
just a random thought yes I do know
Malcolm Gladwell’s books and I think
they’re very good he’s an amazing
storyteller and I think he he helps shed
some light on some of the things we
experience in our in our world so I
think I should probably go do some more
work maybe have a bite to eat oh what’s
this last one have you thought about
bringing your why into the school system
to help our students and teachers oh yes
I have I know there’s a lot of teachers
who found my work and principals who
found my work and they’ve been doing it
organically you know the primary
responsibilities of a principal is not
to take care of the students the primary
responsibility of the principal’s to
take care of the teachers the teachers
take care of the students and if the
teachers feel like the principal is
taking care of them they will invest all
of their energy into taking care of the
students but if the teachers feel that
they’re not safe when they come to work
and that’s got nothing to do with
10-yards do you feel psychologically
safe then they will work to protect
themselves from the school rather than
spending their time giving to the kids
so I think teachers need to learn there
why I think principals need to learn
there why I think schools need to learn
there why and I think they need to teach
leadership to principals and
administrators not because I singled
them out as bad because I don’t think
necessarily they are but I think it’s
just pervasive in all industries where
we promote people because they want the
job or they’re good at the job they had
before we teach somebody how to be a
teacher before we let them teach we
teach somebody how to be a doctor before
you let them practice medicine we teach
somebody how to use the computer
before we let them work on the computer
so why would why would we not teach
somebody how to be a leader when we
expect them to lead so I think we can do
a much better job at schools and
definitely inside organizations to teach
leadership as we promote them into those
positions nice glasses thank you very
much and on that note I will wish you
all a pleasant evening and have fun with
your friends and families oh one more
thought I had this thought figure out if
you’re addicted to your phone and I I’ve
been doing this I go in and out of
phases with this but try this it’s
really rough charge your phone in a
completely different room than the one
you sleep in and when you wake up in the
morning see if you really crave your
phone if you do you might be addicted
the idea of waking up in the morning and
just like starting your day and brushing
your teeth without immediately thinking
I need to check my phone you know I’m
pretty good about not checking my phone
all the time I’m really pretty good
about keeping my phone away when I’m
with my friends not putting it on tables
and meetings I don’t bring it into
meetings so I put it in airplane mode
and keep it in a jacket or put it on a
shelf or something but I’ve been
charging it in a different room for a
while and in the morning it still
bothers me that when I wake up I wonder
what’s on my phone so working to keep
charging it in a different room with the
hope that when I wake up in the morning
I just go through my morning routine
before I check the phone so there you go
have a good night everyone always a
pleasure to see you all thanks for
tuning in to say hi until my next procrastination I’ll see you later
procrastinate on Instagram it’s the
evening I should be relaxing but I’m
reading reading the infinite game here’s
a little peek of moon shots are not a
just cause there it is a printed page
from the new book so it’s the first time
I’ve read it so it’s really just a lot
of red pen quite frankly but here’s what
I’m loving I’ve learned so much from
this from this book and this given me an
entirely new way of seeing the world an
entirely new lens through which to see
it which has been a thrill and even sort
of adding more depth to some of the
previous stuff that I’ve written about
for those of you who may have read
leaders eat last for example I talked
about the circle of safety and one of
the things that I sort of I think I
talked about it and leaders have to go
back and check but yes it’s absolutely a
leaders responsibility to build a circle
of safety and when it exists it is then
the responsibility of others to step
into it and very much about trust being
a two-way street
think about it in a personal
relationship you know when you are
married to someone or dating somebody
and all you do is give and give and give
and give and create a safe space for
them and they don’t reciprocate then the
relationships gonna collapse so I like
this idea of shared risk though the
leader is the one who takes the risk
first anyway as I like to do if you like
I will answer any questions you have and
the more questions you have the easier
it is for me to procrastinate not do my
work what else can I tell you hello from
Portugal so cool and from Venezuela neat
what else can I tell you that I’ve been
learning oh one of the things that I do
is you know this idea of vision and
missions
and everybody’s get a vision statement
in a mission statement and one of the
problem is one of the problems is is
that we don’t have standard definitions
for what a vision or mission are so they
always look different sound different
some people some companies have one some
companies that both something is you put
them in the different order so the
question is what is a what is a vision
and mission statement so I thought just
like I’ve done with a lot of my work if
we can’t agree on the definition let’s
throw out the words and start again and
I talked about a Just Cause and I give
some pointers as to actually how to
write it just cause where is it so if
you actually want to write a just cause
if you actually want to write a vision
that will inspire people it needs to
have five things so all vision
statements need to have five things for
them to be inspiring and worthy of the
infinite game here we go they must be
for something they must be inclusive
they must be service-oriented they must
be resilient and they must be idealistic
what does that mean okay for something
means it has to be a positive and
specific specific vision of the future
so being against something is good to
rally people but it’s not it’s not
lasting and it’s not inspiring so you
have to be for something what you stand
for versus stand against it has to be
inclusive which means it is open to all
those who would like to contribute so
when people hear your vision they think
to themselves oh I’d like to be a part
of that and you can attract people from
all different kinds of skillsets too
often when people write visions or
missions they ground it in their product
you know to make the best computer blah
blah blah well that’s really attractive
if you’re an engineer but if you’re an
accountant that’s not so attractive and
very often when organizations define
their vision or mission based on product
it makes some of the people who work at
the company either feel like or even
sometimes treat it as if they’re
second-class citizens so this has to be
inclusive service-oriented it means the
primary benefit has to go to others if
you go to your boss for career advice
the expectation is that the advice that
you get will benefit your career if your
boss gives you advice to benefit their
career not really very good so the same
value-chain which is all of the things
we do have to benefit those on the
receiving end so if you’re a if you’re
in product development it has to the
products you’re developing have to
benefit the people who will use the
products if you’re a leader the things
the lead your leadership your advice
your counsel everything has to benefit
the people in your charge and if you’re
an investor the investments you make
have to benefit the company you’re
investing in and then of course you can
expect to be paid well of course you can
expect to be rewarded of course you can
expect a return on your investment
second only after the the the the
benefactor the the person who’s supposed
to benefit from your effort or counsel
is satisfied first and this is necessary
for a good just cause in the infinite
game it has to be resilient that sort of
goes without saying it has to be able to
endure political technological and
cultural change once again if you define
it based on your product and there’s a
technological change not gonna last and
then finally it has to be idealistic big
bold and ultimately unachievable in
other words it’s not about some big goal
of becoming the biggest or the best and
it’s not about reaching some revenue
target even if it’s huge
it’s about achieving something that for
all intents and purposes you’ll never
get there think about the civil rights
movement think about the Declaration of
Independence
we’ll never actually reach a point of
all people are created equal but we’ll
die trying which is sort of the point of
a good Just Cause which is we devote our
lives to advancing something that is an
ideal so I figured most people don’t
write good vision and mission statements
not because they’re bad people but
because we don’t really have any
standardized guidelines so that’s what
I’m hoping hoping to put some framework
around with the hope that those of us
who work for an organization with a just
cause will be inspired to come to work
every day questions could I tell your
daughter Clara to go to bed now that’s
funny Clara I go to bed now
[Music]
just leaving through the questions hello
a lot of people from Portugal it’s kind
of late there isn’t it you should all be
in bed oh you Portuguese like to stay up
late anyway so I’m hard at work
finishing this book eager eager to share
it with you all I’m in that nervous
stage now where I’m writing and you know
I fear that I haven’t probably
communicated the ideas or probably
communicated the thought and and there’s
all this insecurity that goes with
producing a product like this it’s a
great of product it’s not a product of
science or experimentation it’s a
creative product so you know all that
nervousness of putting something out
there as I’m reading it I’m enjoying the
reading but you know the fear I have is
is will will you guys like it will it
connect will it actually offer value in
the world rather than just be some sort
lots of Portuguese on here tonight no
plan to come to Portugal any time soon
hello from Peru I’d always wanted to go
to Peru what are some good books to
recommend there’s actually a bunch of
cool books coming out from some folks I
know Scott Harrison’s book thirst just
came out I think today
Scott’s a great guy and I know his story
it’s kind of inspiring it’s really
inspired not kind of expired it is
inspiring Scott Belsky ‘he’s new book
the messy middle I think just came out
today as well I like I like Scott and I
like what he stands for in the world
Bernabe Brown has a new book coming out
as well about leadership I haven’t read
it yet but I’m excited to read it so
those are some books that are coming out
from people I know and like
[Music]
come to Australia I was just there hello
from Argentina
I like Miele SS struggling to with the
finding of the founders of my companies
why struggling with finding the founders
of my companies why I’m not sure I
understand the question there are you
one of the founders are you working for
the founders hello Jim quick Jim for
those of you who don’t know Jim quick
you really kW I K you really should
click over and say hi to Jim click could
um quick he is awesome one of my
favorite people in the world he just
said hi he’s the best yes ‘burn AE
oh so you’re working for the founder
Eric well they have to want to do it so
is it that you’re struggling because
they don’t want to do it and you think
they should or that they really want it
but you know you have to want to learn
your why it’s what’s that old joke how
many psychiatrists does it take to
change a light bulb 1 but the light bulb
has to really want to change it’s the
same thing you can’t force anybody to
learn there why they have to want to do
it because once you learn it it requires
the focus and sacrifice to actually go
through it so you know do you think are
do you think ry changes as we go through
different seasons in our life oh that’s
such a great question do you I think
your Y changes everything I’ve learned
about the why the answer is it’s it’s
permanent once you it’s it’s the sum
total of how you were raised and and our
experiences as kids and it’s fully
formed probably by our mid to late teens
and then the rest of our lives are
simply opportunities to live in balance
with our Y or not so it’s not like you
know you know a lot of people think
tragedy changes your Y no it doesn’t but
it certainly can make it front and
center if you’ve suffered a personal
tragedy in your life natural disasters
September 11th you know a lot of us are
sort of struck all of a sudden that my
job is stupid and it’s not worthwhile
and I don’t
feel it’s fulfilling well that doesn’t
mean that your why changed it means you
came to realize because of the tragedy
that there are things that are more
important for anybody who’s ever had
somebody near them die prematurely you
know you’re struck by our problems
aren’t that bad and life is valuable and
special and it really reminds us that to
focus on something bigger than ourselves
is is important so these things thrust
the WHI into into focus but they don’t
form your eye and they certainly don’t
change your eye we only have one why and
it lasts our entire lives the challenge
is to live in balance with it how do you
learn your passion as a fifteen year old
[Music]
you know that’s such a good question the
I think as a fifteen year old I hope
that you you start to practice taking
care of your friends you start to
practice service that you start to
practice leadership that you volunteer
or you go away on a volunteer program or
you do something for others or when you
spend time with your friends you know
you’ve heard me say this before put your
phone away and make sure all your
friends put their phones away and really
spend time valuable time with your
friends and and that’s what I think
you’ll discover your passion as a
teenager quite frankly as any age which
is there’s a great irony to discovering
our passion which is it doesn’t come
from trying to find it for ourselves it
actually comes from trying to help
others find it so commit yourself to
help others find or solve the problem
that they’re struggling with which may
be the same as yours and you will soon
discover what your your passion is as
well it’s counterintuitive but you know
human beings are made to take care of
each other and so that’s what we got to
do why is is why a humble thing why is
an act of service it’s kind of it has a
dual purpose it’s the value we offer to
the world it’s the value we have in our
friends lives but it’s also the thing we
need the most
so my why is to inspire people to do the
things that inspire them so together
each of us can change our world
or the better so that’s what I try and
put out there that’s what I try and do
that’s what I try and have reflected in
my work
to inspire people to do what inspires
them however the thing that I give to
the world the value that I have in the
world is also the thing that I need the
most so I have to constantly seek
inspiration from others because if I
don’t then I become lost and I forget my
own why and it becomes about me and I
ken why create discomfort for the ground
and losses an opportunity cost well I
think what why provides is calm and
certainty so sometimes there might be
short-term losses for long-term gain and
I think why provides the focus to make
those decisions it happened to me
personally when I discovered my why a
bunch of years ago I decided that the
work that I was doing at the time was
not the work that was advancing my cause
and I decided to close my office and
start again and everybody panicked and
thought that I’d gone out of business
and I can tell you that it never been so
sure of a decision in all my life it was
such an easy decision to make
how do you pick friends hopefully you
pick friends who you care about them
that you’d want to sacrifice for them
and that you feel that they would
sacrifice for you
you don’t necessarily know these things
overnight you know friend friendship is
like dating you know you get to know
somebody and and you see it it’s if
there’s something there um I love how
Jen Straus Rosenthal one of my oldest
friends just logged on we’ve known each
other since we were in high school
hi Jen so this is this is uh she’s the
best so this is the way a friend of mine
describes trust and I think it’s
brilliant he does fine so when you meet
someone there’s a rope there that’s
called trust that you would never lean
on because you don’t know them and then
as you get to know them you might put a
little bit of your weight on the rope
and you see if it holds and the more you
get to know them the more of your weight
you can put against the rope and
the Rope holds your entire weight but
you would never do it out of the gate
you would never do it first because you
don’t know if the Rope is sure and so
it’s the same thing and you have to
constantly keep checking your rope and
there’s like is the rope that they
provided you still strong or is it
starting to fray and if it’s starting to
fray you have to say hey my rope is
fraying and you have to keep watching
there if a rope and seeing are you
acting in a way that you’re that their
rope can hold up their weight because
you’re responsible for building that so
it’s a two-way street but I love this
metaphor of trust as a rope that you
lean on my friend Tom came up with that
and he’s kind of a genius one of my dear
friends and mentors here’s the thing
about mentorship a lot of people say you
know you get an email I’m sure everybody
is familiar with this you know will you
be my mentor mentorship is like
friendship you can’t just go up to a
stranger on the street and say will you
be my friend it doesn’t work that way
you can’t just decide who you want to be
your friends you got to get to know each
other and I think mentorship is the same
way a mentor like a friend evolves you
don’t choose for your mentors you didn’t
say I want that person to be my mentor
because how do you know that they would
want to sacrifice time and energy for
you just because you asked them you
don’t just like someone doesn’t just cuz
you ask them to be your friend they’re
not gonna just be your friend where it’s
not like little kids on the playground
anymore
and so mentorships evolved like if you
call someone for advice and they give
you advice this is what happened to me I
there’s a guy named Ron I met him I
thought he was amazing
I I reached out to him for some advice
and he took my call another time I
reached out to him he took my call
another time I emailed him he returned
my email and before I knew it I realized
he really cared about me and he really
cared to see me grow and he became my
mentor slowly like somebody becomes your
friend and I remember I was leaving his
house and I had my put my arm around him
to say goodbye and I said you know I’m
so glad you’re my mentor and he
responded something I did not expect he
said and I’m so glad you’re mine and
this is what I love about true mentor
relationships which is both people are
learning you’re both the mentor and the
mentee for as much as I thought he was
just the giver it never occurred to me
that this highly accomplished man
was learning from me too so I think
great mentor relationships are like
great friendships they’re about
give-and-take and you don’t decide to
make someone your mentor even if it’s
well intended it evolves and you
discover someone’s your mentor like you
discover someone’s your friend like you
discover you’re in love with someone so
that’s my view on mentorship watch
Deadpool 2 the other night for the
second time it’s such a good film I
really like the Deadpool franchise I
hope they make many many more so that’s
just a random thought yes I do know
Malcolm Gladwell’s books and I think
they’re very good he’s an amazing
storyteller and I think he he helps shed
some light on some of the things we
experience in our in our world so I
think I should probably go do some more
work maybe have a bite to eat oh what’s
this last one have you thought about
bringing your why into the school system
to help our students and teachers oh yes
I have I know there’s a lot of teachers
who found my work and principals who
found my work and they’ve been doing it
organically you know the primary
responsibilities of a principal is not
to take care of the students the primary
responsibility of the principal’s to
take care of the teachers the teachers
take care of the students and if the
teachers feel like the principal is
taking care of them they will invest all
of their energy into taking care of the
students but if the teachers feel that
they’re not safe when they come to work
and that’s got nothing to do with
10-yards do you feel psychologically
safe then they will work to protect
themselves from the school rather than
spending their time giving to the kids
so I think teachers need to learn there
why I think principals need to learn
there why I think schools need to learn
there why and I think they need to teach
leadership to principals and
administrators not because I singled
them out as bad because I don’t think
necessarily they are but I think it’s
just pervasive in all industries where
we promote people because they want the
job or they’re good at the job they had
before we teach somebody how to be a
teacher before we let them teach we
teach somebody how to be a doctor before
you let them practice medicine we teach
somebody how to use the computer
before we let them work on the computer
so why would why would we not teach
somebody how to be a leader when we
expect them to lead so I think we can do
a much better job at schools and
definitely inside organizations to teach
leadership as we promote them into those
positions nice glasses thank you very
much and on that note I will wish you
all a pleasant evening and have fun with
your friends and families oh one more
thought I had this thought figure out if
you’re addicted to your phone and I I’ve
been doing this I go in and out of
phases with this but try this it’s
really rough charge your phone in a
completely different room than the one
you sleep in and when you wake up in the
morning see if you really crave your
phone if you do you might be addicted
the idea of waking up in the morning and
just like starting your day and brushing
your teeth without immediately thinking
I need to check my phone you know I’m
pretty good about not checking my phone
all the time I’m really pretty good
about keeping my phone away when I’m
with my friends not putting it on tables
and meetings I don’t bring it into
meetings so I put it in airplane mode
and keep it in a jacket or put it on a
shelf or something but I’ve been
charging it in a different room for a
while and in the morning it still
bothers me that when I wake up I wonder
what’s on my phone so working to keep
charging it in a different room with the
hope that when I wake up in the morning
I just go through my morning routine
before I check the phone so there you go
have a good night everyone always a
pleasure to see you all thanks for
tuning in to say hi until my next procrastination I’ll see you later
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