This is certainly not a great category, but in any case, many of us belong to it.
We are worried about work, money, being left, sick, disappointed, too committed, crazy,
These are just the first few on the list. We are worried about the few hours at the beginning of the day, worried about the holidays,
Worried at the party, we are worried all the time, even when we try to smile,
Trying to be looked good by those who believe in us, we are also worried. In those moments, this is really unbearable.
When we try to calm the fears like a blizzard, a standard way is to look at them one by one,
Then a rational argument for the probability of their occurrence. But, in some ways,
Instead of looking at the particularities of each concern, consider comprehensively the position it occupies in our lives.
The great British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott in an article,
There is an extremely fascinating sentence:
You are afraid that the disaster that will happen in the future has already happened. When we are worried,
We will naturally focus on what will happen next, it is the future, as it makes the infinite possibilities of fear happen,
It is the natural stage for our horror thoughts to explore. But in Winniecott’s unexpected paper,
It reveals something else: the disasters that we fear to show up have actually passed.
There is a paradox here: Why do we expect what has happened to happen?
Why can’t we better distinguish the past from the present?
Winnicott’s answer says that its root cause is that childhood traumatic events have not been properly addressed.
The result is that death, like not being properly buried and mourning, begins in our adulthood,
The same haunts around us. But they won’t be experienced directly.
For example, we may be afraid that we will be humiliated and ashamed.
I don’t think there is a particularly strong basis for objective facts.
But we still believe completely, because these are when we are very young,
Through our parents, it really happened to us. or,
We are strongly worried that we will be abandoned, not because our partners are really unfaithful.
It is because the people who have taken care of us are very vulnerable, and in some respects, she has indeed abandoned us.
Knowing what our fears are caused by childhood, we have a new perception,
It is not that much in the future that we need to be as worried as we used to be.
We can replace fear and worry with something more sad, but it can eventually be recovered:
Mourning. We can deeply feel sorry for the young ones.
In this way, replace the fear of the future. Thanks to the relics of childhood, we can stand up,
To be aware, we can adapt and grow up on how to deal with things that scare us.
If we are cultivated well, we will get a series of good moves as a bequest in the future when bad things happen:
We know how to reach out and ask for help, maybe we can get out
And only bear the responsibility we should assume. We have the entrance to the corridor through trouble.
But if we lack such guidance, we are still in some ways,
Trapped in our troubles, like the frightened child we used to be. We may be tall, driving,
Speaking like an adult, but facing fear, with childhood tools:
We will overreact, we are silent, we scream, we are hard to recognize other options,
We feel that our ability to protest and commission is greatly limited and we lose all our vision.
It is timely, without any shelter, reminds us that we are an adult now –
Although in our deep self, this is still a completely unbelievable idea.
In other words, in the face of the fears that we are 4 or 8 years old,
We don’t have to be as scared or powerless as we were at the time.
We can organize direct counterattacks and can defend ourselves vigorously.
We can complain that we can defend our position and we can rebuild our lives in new ways elsewhere.
There are two ways to reduce risk: remove all risks in the world;
Or, work in an adventurous manner. Know that many of our fears have childhood reactions,
Let us freely portray: history does not have to repeat itself.
The life of an adult does not have to be as terrible as childhood.
Our response to our fears can be more dynamic and more confident.
And this is the natural privilege of adults. We are still largely worried,
But for the coming disaster, it will hardly be weak.
And will not burn the faith. Thank you for your comments and like to drink.
We also offer books, games, household items and treatment sessions. Follow the links on your screen to find out more.
We are worried about work, money, being left, sick, disappointed, too committed, crazy,
These are just the first few on the list. We are worried about the few hours at the beginning of the day, worried about the holidays,
Worried at the party, we are worried all the time, even when we try to smile,
Trying to be looked good by those who believe in us, we are also worried. In those moments, this is really unbearable.
When we try to calm the fears like a blizzard, a standard way is to look at them one by one,
Then a rational argument for the probability of their occurrence. But, in some ways,
Instead of looking at the particularities of each concern, consider comprehensively the position it occupies in our lives.
The great British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott in an article,
There is an extremely fascinating sentence:
You are afraid that the disaster that will happen in the future has already happened. When we are worried,
We will naturally focus on what will happen next, it is the future, as it makes the infinite possibilities of fear happen,
It is the natural stage for our horror thoughts to explore. But in Winniecott’s unexpected paper,
It reveals something else: the disasters that we fear to show up have actually passed.
There is a paradox here: Why do we expect what has happened to happen?
Why can’t we better distinguish the past from the present?
Winnicott’s answer says that its root cause is that childhood traumatic events have not been properly addressed.
The result is that death, like not being properly buried and mourning, begins in our adulthood,
The same haunts around us. But they won’t be experienced directly.
For example, we may be afraid that we will be humiliated and ashamed.
I don’t think there is a particularly strong basis for objective facts.
But we still believe completely, because these are when we are very young,
Through our parents, it really happened to us. or,
We are strongly worried that we will be abandoned, not because our partners are really unfaithful.
It is because the people who have taken care of us are very vulnerable, and in some respects, she has indeed abandoned us.
Knowing what our fears are caused by childhood, we have a new perception,
It is not that much in the future that we need to be as worried as we used to be.
We can replace fear and worry with something more sad, but it can eventually be recovered:
Mourning. We can deeply feel sorry for the young ones.
In this way, replace the fear of the future. Thanks to the relics of childhood, we can stand up,
To be aware, we can adapt and grow up on how to deal with things that scare us.
If we are cultivated well, we will get a series of good moves as a bequest in the future when bad things happen:
We know how to reach out and ask for help, maybe we can get out
And only bear the responsibility we should assume. We have the entrance to the corridor through trouble.
But if we lack such guidance, we are still in some ways,
Trapped in our troubles, like the frightened child we used to be. We may be tall, driving,
Speaking like an adult, but facing fear, with childhood tools:
We will overreact, we are silent, we scream, we are hard to recognize other options,
We feel that our ability to protest and commission is greatly limited and we lose all our vision.
It is timely, without any shelter, reminds us that we are an adult now –
Although in our deep self, this is still a completely unbelievable idea.
In other words, in the face of the fears that we are 4 or 8 years old,
We don’t have to be as scared or powerless as we were at the time.
We can organize direct counterattacks and can defend ourselves vigorously.
We can complain that we can defend our position and we can rebuild our lives in new ways elsewhere.
There are two ways to reduce risk: remove all risks in the world;
Or, work in an adventurous manner. Know that many of our fears have childhood reactions,
Let us freely portray: history does not have to repeat itself.
The life of an adult does not have to be as terrible as childhood.
Our response to our fears can be more dynamic and more confident.
And this is the natural privilege of adults. We are still largely worried,
But for the coming disaster, it will hardly be weak.
And will not burn the faith. Thank you for your comments and like to drink.
We also offer books, games, household items and treatment sessions. Follow the links on your screen to find out more.
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