Francisco to Los Angeles to visit our
friends in Newport Beach I whip out my
map and draw the route down the coast
that line is 400 miles long and we can
walk four miles per hour for ten hours
per day so that means we’ll be there in
ten days we call our friends and we book
dinner for Sunday night when we will be
rolling in triumphantly at 6:00 p.m.
our friends are so excited to meet us
they can’t wait so we get up next
morning giddy with the excitement of new
adventure strap on our backpacks without
the map and we plan our first day Wow
there are a million little twists and
turns along this coast so we call our
friends and we push dinner back till
Tuesday oh it’s it’s best to be
realistic our friends are disappointed
but they’re looking forward to seeing us
and 12 days of it – from San Francisco
to LA that’s it’s still not too bad with
all that unpleasantness out of the way
we head off but two hours later we are
barely past the soup why well we look
down the trail and we see this man this
is slow going sand water stairs creaks
angry sea lions we are walking at most
two miles per hour that is half as fast
as we wanted we can either start walking
20 hours per day or we can push our
friends out another week after some
debating we decide to split the
difference we walk 12 hours per day
instead of instead of 10 and we push our
friends out until the next weekend we
call our friends and we
push dinner back until the next Sunday
and they they are a little peeved but
they’re ok with it so we push up ah we
pitch camp in most Beach after a tough
12-hour day shit it takes forever to get
these tents up in the wind so we don’t
we don’t get to bed until midnight it’s
not a big deal will I earn things out
and increase velocity tomorrow we
oversleep we wake up sore and exhausted
at 10 a.m. for there is no way that
we’re gonna get our twelve hours in
today we we aim for 10 and we’ll try to
make up for that by making 14 tomorrow
we grab our stuff and we go after a slow
slog for a couple of hours I notice that
my friend is limping oh shit blisters we
need to fix this now because we are the
kind of team that nips problems in the
bud before they slow down or velocity I
jog inland
three miles to Pescadero buy some
band-aids and then I race back to patch
up my friend I’m exhausted
so we we stop for the day after only six
miles that day we go to sleep but on a
positive note we do have fresh supplies
we’ll let us make up for the difference
difference tomorrow we wake up the next
morning ah
we bandage up our feet and we get going
and we turn a corner and disappears shit
what is this the goddamn map doesn’t
show this shit we end up walking like
three miles inland across some federally
protected land and we get lost twice
before we finally make it back to the
coast
today gone for just one mile progress
there is no way that I’m calling our
friends again to push the dinner back
again so we decide to walk until
midnight Wow
what is this does anybody know like I’ve
never seen I have no idea what this is
what could this be used for
after a fitful night of sleep we wake up
and my friend now has headache and a
raging fever I asked him if he can rally
and he says like what do you think
asshole will be we have been walking in
freezing fog for three days without a
break okay so today is a loss we’ll
hunker down and recover tomorrow will
will make up for it by increasing
schedule to 14 hours of walking per day
and that’s okay we’ll be rested and
there’s only gonna be a few more days of
this anyway we can do this we wake up
the next morning groggy and I look at
our map holy shit we’re starting day
five of a ten day trip and we haven’t
even left the Bay Area okay this this is
just ludicrous
let’s let’s sit down and make an
accurate estimate and then call our
friends with it and we’ll probably get
yelled at but at least we’ll have an
accurate estimate once and for all so my
friend says well we’ve gone 40 miles in
four days
and it is at least a six hundred mile
trip
so let’s say 60 days 70 to be sure and
ice no no fucking way yes yes I’ve never
done this trip before but I know I know
it can’t possibly take 60 days to walk
from San Francisco to Los Angeles our
friends are going to do
for us if we say that we we won’t see
them until Easter if you can commit to
16 hours a day we can make up for the
difference it will be hard but this is
crunch time yes we have to suck it up
and my friend yells back I’m I’m not the
one who told our friends we’ll make it
by Sunday in the first place
you’re killing me because you made a
mistake a tense silence falls between us
the phone call to our friends it goes on
made I’ll make the call tomorrow one sir
once my comrade has you know regained
his senses a bit and is willing to
commit to something something reasonable
the next morning we stay in our tents
fill the rain storm blows over we pack
our stuff and shuffle off at 10 a.m.
nursing sore muscles and blisters we
don’t talk about the fight from last
night but I snap my period friend when
he leaves his water bottle behind so
that we have to backtrack or 30 minutes
in order to go get it as we pack up our
gear I notice that we are out of toilet
paper
and we need to stack up on that the next
town we hit and we we turn a corner and
we see that a raging river is blocks our
path and I sense a massive massive pout
the end that was a little story written
as a Korra answer by a person called
Michael Wolfe that I like a lot there is
a link in the supply on my camera there
is a link in the episode description to
the original answer where you can also
find Michael and follow him you have
just watched an episode of fun fun
function this is a programming show that
I released one new episode every Monday
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episode you might want to check out the
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I am mpj until next Monday morning take you