Octopus Mating | National Geographic

okay we’re back in the world of the
Sayyidi octopus
it’s braiding time here’s your potential
conquest she doesn’t know you’re alive
she’s too busy cleaning trash from her
house now you’re perceptive time you use
your sensitive discs for any sign of
interest
hey wait a minute she’s standing tall
that means she sees you and she may be
interested yeah baby
full speed ahead then wouldn’t you know
it a vicious ty squirrels in and
suddenly everything is topsy-turvy among
other flotsam the tide brings an arrival
now great just what you needed Three’s
Company now your job get in the other
guy’s face
just like what you do if you were an
adult human being you try to intimidate
the other guy by striking poses and
Counting at it now that doesn’t work so
you show off your biggest sucker discs
you show him yours he shows you his it
doesn’t get any more testosterone
serious than this
yours is bigger down naturally and the
intruder takes off like a whipped dog
its tentacles would be between its legs
if its tentacles weren’t already
enslaves okay now where were we
alright both you and the female are
promiscuous each of you mates with
several other octopods from this part of
the sea all the time so what’s with all
this coins here’s where it gets really
really good
I mean x-rated hot octopus on octopus
good your goal is to get this appendage
called a hectic heartless arm into the
females manual cavity ah there we go the
arm has a groove that delivers sperm
packets to the female the longer your
arm stays her cabinet near her over duct
the more sperm packets you can deliver
if you’re good I mean you good you might
stay in this position for hours this
time forget about not only does the
coupling last just a minute or two
but when the female takes off she drags
you along like the Speaker of the
drive-in movie she forgot to put back on
the rack lucky an octopus is such a
solitary creature I mean can you imagine
hanging out with other guy octopi you
never hear the end of it