let’s say you’re a female scorpion in
Africa your biological clock is ticking
and it’s time to mate you attract a
suitor by sending self-generated perfume
wafting into the air naturally a
wandering male comes
scuttling toward you the seal the deal
you send out good vibrations which are
picked up by these ultrafine sensory
organs your eyes are like limpid pools
all eight of them you’ve attracted a
partner but you are still in complete
control why because if he doesn’t
fulfill his role you can kill him at any
time he grasps you by the forelimbs
caressing you with his tail so far so
good now it’s time for the courtship
hands there’s more to this than a quick
spin around the dance floor his strategy
of which you are well aware is to plant
a sperm packet on the ground and then
maneuver you on top of it hoping you’ll
take it into your body
maybe it’s the raffish twinkle in his
eye maybe it’s the way he shakes his
scorpion duty but you
in the sperm leaving the empty packet
behind and with that he’s out of there
no laundry no pals over to watch
football in the big-screen TV
no sharing in the bathroom he can’t hang
around or you may very well
Edith and you live out the gestation
period alone I hope you like being with
child because a Scorpion’s gestation
period is a colossal 18 months that’s
double a human’s longer even in a
whale’s finally you give birth the ghost
white baby is born fully formed you are
a superior scorpion mom cradling your
newborn with tender care soon it begins
to unfold its limbs through the night
you give birth to more babies and more
babies and more babies each new baby
frees itself from the birth membrane and
climbs up on top of moms back 18 babies
all together luckily you don’t have to
nurse these babies they feed on
nutrients left over from the embryo
stage
you’ve done it from mating dance to
piggyback mom and eats one of these
babies with luck we’ll live for eight
years but will they call will they come
over send you a card on Mother’s Day
Chuck probably not kids
Africa your biological clock is ticking
and it’s time to mate you attract a
suitor by sending self-generated perfume
wafting into the air naturally a
wandering male comes
scuttling toward you the seal the deal
you send out good vibrations which are
picked up by these ultrafine sensory
organs your eyes are like limpid pools
all eight of them you’ve attracted a
partner but you are still in complete
control why because if he doesn’t
fulfill his role you can kill him at any
time he grasps you by the forelimbs
caressing you with his tail so far so
good now it’s time for the courtship
hands there’s more to this than a quick
spin around the dance floor his strategy
of which you are well aware is to plant
a sperm packet on the ground and then
maneuver you on top of it hoping you’ll
take it into your body
maybe it’s the raffish twinkle in his
eye maybe it’s the way he shakes his
scorpion duty but you
in the sperm leaving the empty packet
behind and with that he’s out of there
no laundry no pals over to watch
football in the big-screen TV
no sharing in the bathroom he can’t hang
around or you may very well
Edith and you live out the gestation
period alone I hope you like being with
child because a Scorpion’s gestation
period is a colossal 18 months that’s
double a human’s longer even in a
whale’s finally you give birth the ghost
white baby is born fully formed you are
a superior scorpion mom cradling your
newborn with tender care soon it begins
to unfold its limbs through the night
you give birth to more babies and more
babies and more babies each new baby
frees itself from the birth membrane and
climbs up on top of moms back 18 babies
all together luckily you don’t have to
nurse these babies they feed on
nutrients left over from the embryo
stage
you’ve done it from mating dance to
piggyback mom and eats one of these
babies with luck we’ll live for eight
years but will they call will they come
over send you a card on Mother’s Day
Chuck probably not kids
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